Turning a friend into a girlfriend

[darklarik]

Hello, need advice. SO A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend after almost 2 years (the breakup was kinda bad), and i was looking to see how i could possibly seduce her?

I met this girl a little over a year ago, and never really gave much attention to her since i knew from the get she was taken and shes the type to WANT to be in a stable relationship. Anyway, i ended up becoming good friends with her since we happened to play the same online MOBA video game, and as we talked turns out we share like a bunch of likes and similar tastes and what not. Still, since she was taken i never really bothered to see her much (only 3 times since we met). Anyway, im fairly sure she likes me, but she JUSt broke up, also, her birthday is coming up in 2 weeks.

The objective here isnt just sleep with her, unlike the other girl im dating whom i dont really feel anything for im both very fond and insanely attracted to her. Id like to know the time line that id need to wait to make a move if she is fresh out of heartbreak or if i should strike while the iron is hot. Shes an introverted type, a bit socialy awkward and prefers to stay at home rather than go out. Also, when i asked her if we could see each other soon she said that i "You can come over anytime" and followed with a "actually, any time".

Soooo, advice. I need to know how to approach this one guys, id like NOT to fuck it up. This girl is my idea of a perfect 10. Need tips

 

[normajean106]

Okay, well, I do have some ideas. First off though, you should read this:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/cant-stop-thinking-about-her-heres-why-you-need-meet-more-girls

Just like in poker, it's generally not a good idea to place all your chips in a bet. Makes the stakes much higher and you could lose everything at a moments notice. It's an all or nothing situation that can only be successfully handled by experts (or really lucky players).

Now, what I'm saying to you is that if you pour all your heart and love into this girl, you run the risk of getting hurt (badly, if I may add) if you don't hook up with her and she has moved on.

(Side note, you really need to let go of that fear of losing her. It's holding you back, and if you become too afraid of losing her, then you will inevitably end up losing her as a result of that fear).

Now that I got that out of the way...

It sounds like you do have a strong shot at dating her. From what you said, she seems to be blaringly loud about how you need to be moving things forward with her.

However, I'm confused, as I am not sure what you are asking. For example, you say you want to seduce her, but that you don't want to have sex with her? (One tip I have off the top of my head is to NOT be indecisive. Girls need leaders, and leaders are very decisive. If you don't want to "F*ck up," then you need to know what your intentions are, and what her intentions are as well.)

I understand you are asking for tips, and I would like to help, but you need to be more specific. There is no shortcut to winning a girl's heart or a list of steps that automatically grants you the girl of your dreams. Heck if there was a dating hotline I could call to get girls (that don't involve prostitutes or mail-order brides), I wouldn't be so focused on pickup artistry.

If you want help, you should elaborate on what your intentions are. For example, are you asking us how you should ask this girl out? Are you asking us what you should do to "win her heart," so to speak?

I'd really like to help you, but it sounds like you have the answer already figured out. She's telling you that you may come over anytime, so why aren't you coming over?

What I'm getting from this is that you aren't asking us what you need to do to attract her to you, rather, what I'm really getting is that you are to afraid to move things forward with her. And guess what buddy, she's not going to make the first move at all. You already said she was introverted, socially awkward, and prefers to stay at home, so that means you have to do all the heavy lifting. You have to be the one to step up and ask her out on a date.

You can correct me if I'm wrong, but ultimately, if you want any help at all, you need to elaborate. Help us, to help you.

 

[darklarik]

If you want help, you should elaborate on what your intentions are. For example, are you asking us how you should ask this girl out? Are you asking us what you should do to "win her heart," so to speak?


You can correct me if I'm wrong, but ultimately, if you want any help at all, you need to elaborate. Help us, to help you.

I want a relationship with her. Not some booty call, friends with benefits, or a one night stand. I want to seduce her with the intention of having a serious relationship. As for moving things forward, im not a fool as to what to do for that, today i cleared my weekend just so tommorow i can ask her to hang out this weekend.

Thing is, every time ive gone to a girl's house, my aim is sex, and out of the 6 times ive gotten invited to a girls house it always ended in sex. I wouldent even know really what to do there if thats not my aim, like if where watching a movie on the couch or something and idk, NOT make a move, id feel weird? But is that like what im meant to do since i could get rebounded. What im not entirely sure is if i SHOULD aim for sex, since she literally broke up LAST WEEK, if i aim to soon would she re-bound me? Thats my question, how long do women tend to need 'space' once they have broken up? Or SHOULD i strike while the iron is hot? Specially if she is the Introverted, has trust issues, dosent let many people into her life kind of girl. I cant really 'take her out' somewhere (i could try, but she does NOT like going out, infact from what i understand that was one of the reasons she broke up, her now ex-bf was tired of her only wanting to hang out in her or his house, which is like, my paradise D: (one man's trash is another man's treasure?)).

Now dont get me wrong, I DO WANT TO SLEEP WITH HER ASAP, shes fucking hot, but i dont want to bum-rush it and fuck things up, i got fresh tinder matches if i want to improvise and mess up trying new things, i would like some know-how as to how to approach this situation since its one i have NO experience with.


I wish one of the mods with his helluva experience would advice me on this one

 

[normajean106]

I want a relationship with her. Not some booty call, friends with benefits, or a one night stand. I want to seduce her with the intention of having a serious relationship. As for moving things forward, im not a fool as to what to do for that, today i cleared my weekend just so tommorow i can ask her to hang out this weekend.

That's smart.

Thing is, every time ive gone to a girl's house, my aim is sex, and out of the 6 times ive gotten invited to a girls house it always ended in sex. I wouldent even know really what to do there if thats not my aim, like if where watching a movie on the couch or something and idk, NOT make a move, id feel weird? But is that like what im meant to do since i could get rebounded. What im not entirely sure is if i SHOULD aim for sex, since she literally broke up LAST WEEK, if i aim to soon would she re-bound me? Thats my question, how long do women tend to need 'space' once they have broken up? Or SHOULD i strike while the iron is hot? Specially if she is the Introverted, has trust issues, dosent let many people into her life kind of girl. I cant really 'take her out' somewhere (i could try, but she does NOT like going out, infact from what i understand that was one of the reasons she broke up, her now ex-bf was tired of her only wanting to hang out in her or his house, which is like, my paradise D: (one man's trash is another man's treasure?)).

I see what you mean. I wish I could help, but I tend to stay away from girls with boyfriends. Not because I'm scared or anything, but because I don't like the idea of chasing after a girl who's already spoken for. Especially if I'm friends and on good terms with her boyfriend. If she does have a boyfriend, I tend to lose interest because unfaithfulness to me is a bit of a turn off. If she broke up with her boyfriend, that's a different story for me, but by then I've already moved on to other girls of my interest.

From what I can tell, however, it sounds like if you don't move fast enough, then she will move on to someone else.

I wish one of the mods with his helluva experience would advice me on this one

lol, don't we all.

 

[darklarik]

I see what you mean. I wish I could help, but I tend to stay away from girls with boyfriends. Not because I'm scared or anything, but because I don't like the idea of chasing after a girl who's already spoken for. Especially if I'm friends and on good terms with her boyfriend. If she does have a boyfriend, I tend to lose interest because unfaithfulness to me is a bit of a turn off. If she broke up with her boyfriend, that's a different story for me, but by then I've already moved on to other girls of my interest.

From what I can tell, however, it sounds like if you don't move fast enough, then she will move on to someone else.

I wish one of the mods with his helluva experience would advice me on this one

lol, don't we all.

Were you even reading? She dosent have a boyfriend any more. They had a definitive breakup. she is now single and quite lonely.

 

[Fuck This]

every situation is different.

Some good reading that might make you evaluate your strategy.

My first semi long term college girlfriend used me for a rebound for a couple of months. Then she was exclusive with another one of my Frat brothers for a year. I was "Mr. Right Now" while he showed "Relationship Potential". Believe it or not we three are still all friends.

Beware of letting her think she is your only option. Beware of the Friendzone signs and don't be surprised if she gives you the LJBF shut down. Particularly if she is still grieving for the
relationship.

 

[darklarik]

every situation is different.

Some good reading that might make you evaluate your strategy.

My first semi long term college girlfriend used me for a rebound for a couple of months. Then she was exclusive with another one of my Frat brothers for a year. I was "Mr. Right Now" while he showed "Relationship Potential". Believe it or not we three are still all friends.

Beware of letting her think she is your only option. Beware of the Friendzone signs and don't be surprised if she gives you the LJBF shut down. Particularly if she is still grieving for the
relationship.

Well i cant control what she thinks D: Although idk she supposedly dosent have that many friends that i guess while i may not be her only option, im quite sure im her best option as we are like, 80% similar. She almost everything i do and vice versa.

Also, what is the LJBF???, she is still in a grieving state, thats the whole point of this post. Im also trying to do my best to show "relationship potential" for her. Also in that article it talks about 'leting you intention be know' how do i make my intentions know that i want a relationship without jumping the gun too soon but also giving her space and having her understand?

 

[Fuck This]

LJBF