UPDATE: How do I navigate social circle?

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

This is an update from my first post, How do I approach girls. Since I posted that thread, I've been fighting my social anxiety. Saying hi to strangers, walking up to and then making conversation with strangers, and also making conversation with employees of companies (i.e. Starbucks barista) My social anxiety has always held me back so I'm doing these things in order to make it possible for me to cold approach. A month ago, I couldn't approach a girl if my life depended on it. Anyways, I'm getting closer, here's what's been happening recently.

So I got Hector Castillo's King of College Book. For anyone who doesn't know, Hector is one of Girls Chase's dating coaches. He basically dominated college, fucking a lot of girls, becoming popular, etc. Then he wrote a book about it and how one can replicate his success. The book initially shocked the shit out of me. Just reading it made me anxious. That's because it exposed me to things I thought werent possible, that men couldn't ask for. The book made me realized how much of a prude I was. I'm only a freshman in college, so I'm very inexperienced in sex, I've only fucked twice. Anyways, the book expanded my horizons, changed my thinking, and now Im more opened minded and am hungry for sex now, like a starved wolf who is on the hunt

Today was my second day of classes, and I used an indirect opener on this hot asian with a juicy ass who sits next to me, I don't really know how to flirt, so I just made casual conversation and got a snapchat out of her (I figured she wouldn't say yes to a number). Because this situation isn't cold approach (I'm seeing her everyday) how do I build attraction and move fast with her? (I can only really talk to her before and after class)

After class there was this tie die event, making tie day shirts at the school's common place. I saw this girl with a fat ass she was talking to her friend right in front of the tie die stand. I think I asked her about the tie die stand or what ever and she showed me there was a line to get a t shirt. As I was making my shirt, I sought her out, I really forget what I said but it was something about how do I make the tie shirt (acting really stupid isn't a good look I realize, I just didn't have anything good to open with). At this point she knows that I'm into her (why else would someone act how I acted lmao). I think her creep alert went up as I was looking in her direction several times coupled with me approaching her and her friend twice. Later on I was talking to these two other kids, and when they went to join the girl and her friend group, I came with them and when that happened her and all of her friends walked away, the two kids were puzzled but I knew why: Me.

So my question is basically, how do I approach a girl and not come off as a creep? How do I approach when she is with her friends? How do I insert myself into a social circle?

Also, I've been going up to kids who don't seem busy or are relaxing and just try to become friends with them. I try to get their socials when the conversation is over (kinda like getting a girls number in cold approach). When I'm in conversation it usually goes well, but when I run into them again sometimes they seem a little off put by seeing me again, like I did something awkward (I probably did lol). So how do I prevent that from happening? Is is something that just sorts itself out when you have experience?

I don't want to get the reputation of the nice guy, who says hi to everyone on campus but is weird/creepy asf. HOW DO I BE COOL! how do I avoid the creep reputation but still talk to everyone?

Masters of Seduction, Bless me with your Knowledge!

 

[Fuck This]

Don't FORCE socializing with you on anyone.

Be the one to break off conversations first

Use open, approachable body language

Listen more than you talk

Greet folks by name when you can, or have a common nickname you use for someone whose name you forgot "Hey Bud!" "Hi Sport!", "Hey Pal!"

Introduce other people to people you know to include them in the social circle.

Understand that bein overly enthusiastic puts people on guard. Temper your emotions to not seem unusually eager.

Don't force a smile. Your unease is contagious.

Focus on deepening your voice and slowing your delivery. From the way you write i feel like you are too high energy and spastic in your interactions with other people. Learn to CTFO. Don't act like McLovin....

 

[Will_V]

What do you think SHE wants though? You know what you want (sex). Put yourself in her shoes a bit and figure out how to give her what she wants. Because it certainly isn't (as you pointed out yourself) a random guy who keeps looking at her and walking up pretending not to know things.

 

[lceman]

Hey man, I'm in college as well. Great to hear you're out there taking action.

So my question is basically, how do I approach a girl and not come off as a creep? How do I approach when she is with her friends? How do I insert myself into a social circle?

Also, I've been going up to kids who don't seem busy or are relaxing and just try to become friends with them. I try to get their socials when the conversation is over (kinda like getting a girls number in cold approach). When I'm in conversation it usually goes well, but when I run into them again sometimes they seem a little off put by seeing me again, like I did something awkward (I probably did lol). So how do I prevent that from happening? Is is something that just sorts itself out when you have experience?

I don't want to get the reputation of the nice guy, who says hi to everyone on campus but is weird/creepy asf. HOW DO I BE COOL! how do I avoid the creep reputation but still talk to everyone?

As for purely making friends, it'll probably help if you explicitly state why you're talking to them. If a random dude started talking to me and he seemed alright/normal, I still might be a little off put just because that's very outside the norm. You could say you/your friend throws a lot of parties, or you are looking to meet more people/make more friends (just examples). Grabbing contact info is pretty easy as "hey bro I can let you know if we're planning anything soon" no one turns that down. And they might just invite you to their parties. I suggest getting snapchat or instagram rather than phone numbers here.

Weird happens when you don't own what you do. If you talk some tie dye bs (which is fine) but don't follow up with a real conversation and keep staring at her/trying to get in her vicinity, she either thinks you're a weirdo, a creep, or a pussy, because a normal guy who was interested in her would go talk to her as a guy meeting a girl. She might not like him and he might fail, but she certainly wouldn't think it weird for a man to talk to a girl he finds attractive.

I know you had more questions I didn't answer, I just chimed in where I thought it would be most helpful. Let me know if you got anything out of this- I'm still at the beginning of my journey with women but I've come a long way socially during my time in college. I'm happy to help if I can.
-Mav

P.S. where did you get the book? I'm intrigued and don't see it for sale/download anywhere

 

[Rakehell]

This is tough to answer because you’d want to have already done the work on yourself before you entered the circle.


Your fashion, body language, hair, facial hair, body, voice, and overall demeanor. Your sense of humor, your eye contact. How hard you try. Whether or not you’re seeking approval. Whether you’re comfortable around girls, and cool guy’s.

Cool people want to hangout with cool people. And cool people can usually recognize other cool people.

Cool people are usually exclusive and aren’t jumping on the opportunity to make new friends that aren’t. Or talking to any and everybody obviously trying to build connections with anyone who’s available.



Girl’s are more ruthless when it comes to excluding guy’s who “dont get it”. Alot more ruthless. But they’re also the most fickle and will change their opinion on a guy if he can change his status.

For practicalities sake i’d hone in on everything the girlschase blog considers fundamentals. This is ultimately what you need and by far the most important aspect.

Get a sense of fashion that suits your body type, facial hair that suits your face, a haircut that suits your face, make sure you make good eye contact, and that your voice isn’t nasally/mumbley.

Being cool is an amalgamation of different things and it doesn't really happen overnight.

Sorry if this is no help but it’s probably the most loaded question i’ve ever seen.

Start with:

• Eye contact
• Hair
• Facial Hair
• Voice
• Body Language
• Style
• Mannerisms

Next:

• Comfort
• Not talking about yourself too much
• Kill the bragging
• Maintaining the appearance of effortlessness
• Conversational ability
• Don’t shit on others in the group or make jokes at their expense
• Humor
• Warmth
• Building preselection
• Understanding Social Pressure
• Being emotionally non reactive to slights
• Not appearing overly excited or impressed
• Engaging people casually in a non supplicatory way
• Not joking around too much in a weird way that noone gets
• Understanding the power dynamics of language
• Being willing to walk away
• Understanding that silences and tension are not awkward unless you make them awkward
• Giving credit where its due
• Avoiding too many polarizing opinions (politics etc)
• Only speak on stuff that you actually know about and can explain in detail

I’d research these topics in depth on your own but will give you a headstart and link a few down below.

This all adds to your personal appeal. You want passive attention. People talking and thinking about you positively without you actively vying for it.

As far as becoming someone who’s popular in the circle, it can come from multiple individual connections with each member. Having the girls in the circle attracted to you. Sleeping with the girls. Having access to something that people want. Having some kind of recognizable status. Being really good at something that people value (like being good with chicks). Being someone that people enjoy being around.

Think of any circle you’ve ever witnessed or been apart of and the people who were respected the most. If you respected them too why was that?
How did they move? How did they dress? How did they interact with people? How did they interact with you?

Another thing to think about is the fact that all circles are started by someone. Which means you could do the same thing. Like starting a groupchat for one of your classes.
Sprezzatura
Awareness Radius
Presence
Body language
Fuzzy world of status
Answering challenges
Sexiness
conversationalist
Social Pressure
Tension
Power Shifts

That should be enough for now to get you started on the right track. All of it is useless if you don’t get your overall presentation down first. It all starts with eye contact, body language, style, etc.

 

[Terms]

Because this situation isn't cold approach (I'm seeing her everyday) how do I build attraction and move fast with her? (I can only really talk to her before and after class).

So my question is basically, how do I approach a girl and not come off as a creep? How do I approach when she is with her friends? How do I insert myself into a social circle?

This is a recurring theme, an easy mistake to make it seems.

The answer is: Don't try to fast-seduce girls in your social circle.

You're in a socially inescapable situation for the next 9 months, if not four years. While risking "creepy" works with strangers where there's no consequence and you'll never see them again, social circle game needs to guard reputation and never risk "creepy."

As you see here with experienced guys, even when they do everything right and fuck the girl quickly. . she often just disappears afterward, feeling one way or another about it. A girl feeling a certain way about you in a closed social circle can end you socially, "hell has no fury like a woman scorned." Its just not worth it in the long run.

Go for fast lays outside your immediate social circle. The greater the chance you'll never see them again, the more risks you can take.

Game your social circle to be socially desired, that's the game there. Use that to pivot to fast lays with girls outside that circle in the opportunities that inevitably present themselves over the course of the schoolyear.

As for fucking girls in the circle, this is totally do-able, but its a slow game. By gaming your social circle to be socially desired, you'll inevitably end up with girls in that circle who crush on you over time. THAT is a time to strike, she won't see you as creepy if she's crushing on you. So when that happens, by all means make the move. But don't play fast lay game. Its more like fishing, where you throw out the lure, and when a bite happens you reel it in.