- Joined
- Jul 6, 2020
- Messages
- 608
So there was this girl I was with, fairly cute, and a great girl personality wise. She was pretty compliant with me overall and everything was going well. We are in the same social circle by chance, so we saw each other again at this place.
I walked into the place and there she was, sitting two rows in front of me. We were in a place where people knew us and would talk if they saw us together, so it was obviously best if she moved to the back with me.
She was obviously attracted, and I knew she wanted to come with me, so I texted her “come here” expecting her to come (she’s listened to me quite a few times before, even over text so I really wasn’t expecting any resistance).
I knew it was a bit harsh sounding, but then again she’s listened before and I was planning on rewarding her for it with a warm presence and lots of attention.
To my confusion, her response to this text was:
“no
. say please, I’m not a dog.”
Obviously a few problems with this:
1. Frames her as the prize. A prized high value man who gets lots of women like me should not be “begging” for a women to come with me.
2. Negative compliance (obviously)
3. Complying will set a bad precedent, one that implies that I should say please after every command.
My first instinct was to throw it back in her court, and leave it to her to keep the seduction moving because this test by her was obviously stalling the movement of the courtship, and was quite annoying and uncalled for. Something along the lines of “I only want to be with women who want to be with me. Sit down over here if u want to be with me, I’m not going to force you.”
But the problem with that is it would be hard for her to respect my reason for “ending” it.
The only “reason” she stalled the courtship was because I didnt say please, so it would be too easy for her to rationalize that its my fault it stopped instead of hers - so she would be less motivated to fix the problem herself.
My second instinct was to just get up next to her and fix it in person, because this test would have been much less tricky if i had my body language and stuff to rely on. We were, in fact, so close that we were exchanging eye contact during the texting. (she was avoiding my eye contact after sending the text however. i could sense she was a little nervous anticipating my response.)
But again, the problem with that is:
I take a value hit because I look reactive. I look like I cant fix a girl not complying with me without escalating it that far. Plus it’s high effort walking over there.
What I ended up doing was taking a little time to frame the interaction as playful, then conceded a little bit and told her to come over in a tad nicer way (without saying please) she then pretended to deliberate a little bit and then decided to come with me, which was kind of annoying because that still framed her as the prize.
I know that was not the best response. This girl was not particularly headache inducing or difficult but honestly this was one of the trickiest tests I’ve ever encountered. It would be great if someone more experienced than I am could let me know how they would handle this for next time, because I’m still stumped.
I walked into the place and there she was, sitting two rows in front of me. We were in a place where people knew us and would talk if they saw us together, so it was obviously best if she moved to the back with me.
She was obviously attracted, and I knew she wanted to come with me, so I texted her “come here” expecting her to come (she’s listened to me quite a few times before, even over text so I really wasn’t expecting any resistance).
I knew it was a bit harsh sounding, but then again she’s listened before and I was planning on rewarding her for it with a warm presence and lots of attention.
To my confusion, her response to this text was:
“no
. say please, I’m not a dog.”Obviously a few problems with this:
1. Frames her as the prize. A prized high value man who gets lots of women like me should not be “begging” for a women to come with me.
2. Negative compliance (obviously)
3. Complying will set a bad precedent, one that implies that I should say please after every command.
My first instinct was to throw it back in her court, and leave it to her to keep the seduction moving because this test by her was obviously stalling the movement of the courtship, and was quite annoying and uncalled for. Something along the lines of “I only want to be with women who want to be with me. Sit down over here if u want to be with me, I’m not going to force you.”
But the problem with that is it would be hard for her to respect my reason for “ending” it.
The only “reason” she stalled the courtship was because I didnt say please, so it would be too easy for her to rationalize that its my fault it stopped instead of hers - so she would be less motivated to fix the problem herself.
My second instinct was to just get up next to her and fix it in person, because this test would have been much less tricky if i had my body language and stuff to rely on. We were, in fact, so close that we were exchanging eye contact during the texting. (she was avoiding my eye contact after sending the text however. i could sense she was a little nervous anticipating my response.)
But again, the problem with that is:
I take a value hit because I look reactive. I look like I cant fix a girl not complying with me without escalating it that far. Plus it’s high effort walking over there.
What I ended up doing was taking a little time to frame the interaction as playful, then conceded a little bit and told her to come over in a tad nicer way (without saying please) she then pretended to deliberate a little bit and then decided to come with me, which was kind of annoying because that still framed her as the prize.
I know that was not the best response. This girl was not particularly headache inducing or difficult but honestly this was one of the trickiest tests I’ve ever encountered. It would be great if someone more experienced than I am could let me know how they would handle this for next time, because I’m still stumped.
