Cougar lay:
I see this girl in a random place in brazil, I see her from far away and see that this girl has a body of a model! Just the way I like it... hehe...
So i do my standard approach, which is to walk past her, then wait a second or two, run up after her and do the J-turn hand out half police stop method.
She stops and look curios, and i do my gig...
Slowly in broken portuguese I ask if she knows Ingles... (english)
She does, and i say: yeah i saw you walking over here and i know this is very random but i think your cute so i wanted to say hi!
Hey!
Whats your name
blalbalallsafgsgah
My name is dfgjdfogjsj, nice to meet you, prazer
I see her body is way more beautiful than her face, i can see she is a bit older... she is 42 years old with the body of a 18 year old!
She is a profesional dance teacher.
So we vibe a little and she asks to follow me on instagram... Actually i was thinking that i am not interested in girls this age, but gave my insta anyways.
Some days go by and she is liking my stories and all...
I rarly communicate back.
Then 10 days later, because all the other dates i have been scheduling was not panning out.... I follow up with her and book a date.
She is doing some spiritual stuff, and we connect on that... She has a very interesting life, and everything flows well...
Now i am starting to learn sex talk, but did not do any spesific gambit on this one, and this is an important thing as this is the golden nugget of this experience...
As we vibe and enjoy our drinks and some small tapas, and listen to some magical brazzillian live music, i start to hold hands with here and she starts to stroke me a lot, and i can feel the sexual energy going through me, and we are just bathing in this energy together...
Now isnt it intersting because she is not that beautiful in her face, and a bit older.... I have actually no goal of getting her home, but thinking to myself that she can try to seduce me and see where it is going...
Live music stops, I say lets go for a walk...
We are walking, holding hands... (dont ever do this in scandinavia bros! holding hands there beforeyou are in a relationship is a BAD idea)
Logically, my apt. is 100 meters away from the bar and I ask her if she cares for some water...
she actually gets two calls from a guy she is seeing and she asks me if she should answer... i just stay silent...
Eventually she sends him a text...
We walk in, put on some music, enjoy the vibe no rush.... Eventually a kiss..
And ofc. i start to escalate, but she stops me... saying i need to go home very soon because of work...
Pull back...
Then we kiss a bit more, but she stops me constantly with like "oh this is so good music" or other comments or questions that kinda kill the vibe...
But i am in the space of non-needyness and are just flowing with what comes...
easing of and going back in...
Eventually i try to take of her top, she rejects.
Flowing flowing flowing... distance myself and go back in...
I feel her body and she is having like a mild sweat all over and her hips are moving, this girl is getting ready.
so I take her top off, and she agrees. but then says we are not going to have crazy sex... i need to go...
Then i just lie by her side, and chill... still flowing, being present... ofc I have in mind my direction, but activly works on being more present and enjoying the moment as it is...
We engage in carrasing and kissing again...
This cycle continues with every piece of clothes... something new i tried out was not to take of my clothes before her... And i think i will continue with this...
She is in her panties and oh my god her body is sooo frikkin sexy...
And she is a good kisser, contrary to most brazillians which kisses literally just like my dog... I mean they kiss my face the same way i lick a puss^
So try go down on her, she stops me three times. in the span of 15 minutes...
- A theme that she broughtup is the brazillian hookup culture that she does not like....And she brings this up from time to time during this...
And i am just present with it, no judging or anything...
Eventually i say that sometimes you just need todo what you want and not care about everybody else
And i think that is just what she needed to hear... (important point i come to later which is a golden nugget for me in this learning journey)
Eventually get it off and we are both naked and she asks for a condom... we go into the bedroom i find it and go down on her...
And the rest is history...
And btw. she thanked me about 3 times explicitly afterwards and said it was shuch a good choice etc.
NOW!
important golden nugget...
Her ASD came up a lot during this, where what she really wanted and the expectations of society and what she even says herself she believes in led me to having a hard time, with a lot of resistance at home...The goldennugget is how important it is to adress this ASD before you come to that point of the bedroom.
I mean she mentioned the hook up culture is bad and how she is a true feminist probably 5 times or more...
So now I will make sure to study this a bit more and have some lines written down on my notes in my phone so i carry that with me on the date.
Also i think the pull would have been so much easier if I would do a little bit more sex-talk on the date...
Good
- Managed to be present and was directed towards my intention of sleeping together without being caught up in too much thinking. I think this was so important for the situation to go in the direction i wanted. I dont think i have ever read about the importance of presence here on GC... ? Presence in the sence that you are activly focusing on how amazing it feels to have a half naked woman there with you, even though odds are it might not happen tonight, to just be present with it and forget the outcome a bit, also tell her that it just feels so good to kissyou, to feel you to have my skin thouching yours.
And bad:
- Did not do any ASD gambits...
- Did not introduce any sex talk...
This led me to have a lot of resistance even though her body said something different... the golden nugget here is that i undeerstand how important it is to do this, but also, even more crucial, how doing it actually helps her too! And that it is a service for her that i do it and not some sleezy technique.
Thats all!
P.s.
This is probably horrible to read, i dont really care to edit too much or write too much details...
