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Vinny: a journal of Observations on Fear of Success

VinnyDgeek

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Oct 11, 2013
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Hi I'm Vincent, most people call me something else but I'm not comfortable with using it on a forum, so there we are.

I got the nickname I used in college, a play on words from Vinny the Greek, the guy involved with football *i think*

Most people say there greatest fear when it comes to dating is being rejected or failing. For me, it is the constant fear of being successful.

I mean think about it, failing is absolutely easy it requires almost no effort.. In fact the best way to fail, is to do abolutely nothing, and that is what I have been doing for most of my life.

Success on the other hand, requires ACTION and real EFFORT and the more you succeed, the more effort it requires to keep things going.

In my life, it has gotten to the point where my thoughts, actions and attitudes are actually all geared towards attracting failure.

In terms of dating, this has meant I seem to be severely attracted to women who are almost GUARUNTEED to turn me down.

I have probably aquired the most extensive list of fake numbers of any guy or girl in the history of dating, I have yet to have gone out with a girl who has said yes to a date AND hasn't stood me up.

The worst example that has happened so far is that I asked out a girl whom I was attracted to to go for a coffee. I was very casual and not pushy about it, but she acted as if I had actually asked her for sex. Her response was

"What makes you think I would go out with a fat, ugly shit like yourself? I would rather fuck my dog, get lost loser"

and this was when I wasn't actually that heavy compared to where I am now. My self esteem has allowed me to let myself go to the point where it is actually difficult for me to walk properly.. *more signs of things I have done to naturally attract failure into my life I think*

i found this board while searching for topics on how to kiss a girl, because there is a girl that I like, but she utterly confuses me. I think I will post more about that in the general forum.

I am posting this journal in the hopes that I can get myself to reflect on my life, grow a set of balls and start actually doing something about.. I figure also that since the people on here are complete strangers, they won't be afraid to give me advice that may at times kick me severely in the ass. I probably need it.

thanks for the opportunity to post about myself, and I look forward to posting more in this journal as I try to move forward with my life.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

VinnyDgeek

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Oct 11, 2013
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ok so Monday *oct 21* is my 44th birthday and the friend I mentioned in my other post in the general section is coming over to hang out and to let me take the pictures she promised me earlier *bikini top and a pair of boyshorts*

I have decided to post in here to make myself accountable, but I am determined that no matter how badly I screw things up, no matter what the outcome is, come hell or high water I am at least going to kiss her with as much enthusiasm and passion as I can muster.


this is a complete 180 from my usual thoughts, feelings but I'm hoping that i will finally summon the balls to go for it, consequences be dammned.

wish me luck
 

VinnyDgeek

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Oct 11, 2013
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so I tried to kiss her and failed miserably. She didn't just resist, she actually pushed me away with a surprising amount of strength so I guess she wasn't that into me after all.

but i guess its better than not trying at all
 
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