FU

Was i too eager/impatient?

Higher · Apr 20, 2024

Met this hot Latina with full-body tattoos while daygaming last week.

I approach her informational, then i compliment her style. She thanks me and we exchange numbers. We have a bit of a language barrier, but here the texts (some in english, most are in spanish and i translated them):

[4/8, 12:10] Ciao X

nice to meet you! I'm going in the old city now and then write you later. Higher
[4/8, 12:21] Hi Higher !
Nice to meet you , hope to see you soon now I'm off to X

have a nice day

.
[4/8, 12:35] Cool, enjoy (not good that i switched to english and it sounds pissed/dismissive)
[4/8, 12:35] thank you very much

One interesting thing about this gal is that she has a 24h timer on Whatsapp, so every text she sends or receives gets deleted the next day.

Anyway i ping her the next day and we agree to catch up:

[4/9, 10:39] Hello X

[4/9, 13:17] Hello Higher
[4/9, 13:17] Very well and how are you ?
[4/9, 13:17] Are you in my city?
[4/9, 13:55] I'm in my city right now beautiful.
Did you like X?
[4/9, 13:59] Yes very nice X I loved it.
[4/9, 14:01] I think I will come back when the weather is better ,. There are a lot of nice mountains

[4/9, 14:09] Yes it is wonderful.
I would like to see you
What are you doing today?
[4/9, 14:12] I'm in X now at a friend's house
[4/9, 14:13] Then I will go to my other friend's house ,. But if you can we'll meet up today !
[4/9, 14:13] Would you come to my city?
[4/9, 14:28] Do you like wine?
[4/9, 14:30] Yes

[4/9, 14:44] We can have a wine in my city or your city, you decide.
If in my city, it's on me
If in your city, it's on you

[4/9, 14:46] Ok I'll pay I'll see you in my city

[4/9, 14:47] Tell me what time we meet!
[4/9, 15:07] Ok bella I can be at the station at 18
[4/9, 15:16] Perfect see you at 18:00h
[4/9, 17:10] Im on the train
I'll be here at 18 (gmaps link)
[4/9, 17:43] Ok
[4/9, 17:55] I'm here
[4/9, 17:56] right here (sends pic)

So we meet and grab wine at a cool, intimate place. We talk about good stuff (living in the present, connection, dreams, passions) and i touch her quite a lot - she giggles and seems to enjoy it.

Im about to bounce us to another place when, out of thin air, she pulls a time-constraint, i gotta go in 30mins cause i have a dinner at a friends place. Im like, i thought you were free for the evening. Shes like, sorry i forgot to tell you.

I dont believe her, and anyway i dont wanna wait for her 30mins to go by, so im like, oh ok, well lets go now then. So she pays and we leave the place.

While walking to the station we brush against each other a lot and i seed a date in my city without time-constraint. At the station she sorta leans forward for a kiss. I kiss her on the cheek instead, as i didnt like the move she pulled earlier. Maybe a mistake - a quick peck on the lips to make the attraction official wouldnt have hurt.

[4/9, 19:06] Did you take the train?
[4/9, 19:07] Yes just right
[4/9, 19:07]

[4/9, 19:07] Loved this time with you.
[4/9, 19:07] Next without time ok
[4/9, 19:07] Sory
[4/9, 19:07] Perfect

[4/9, 19:07] Enjoy the evening
[4/9, 19:08] thank you

I totally feel in chasing territory already.

A couple days later im abroad and i ping her again:

[4/11, 10:39] Ciao X

[4/11, 11:10] Ciao Higher
[4/11, 11:11] Happy day

[4/11, 11:11] I am traveling to X
[4/11, 11:12] I will be back on Sunday .
(im abroad and send her a pic)
[4/11, 11:43] Ooh very nice
[4/11, 11:45] It's a nice day here in X too. (she sends me a couple videos of her place)
[4/11, 12:40] Nice indeed

I leave it at that and i get back in touch the following week when im back in the country:

[4/17, 10:29] Hello X

[4/17, 13:25] Hello Higher
[4/17, 13:26] How are you ? I hope super excellent
[4/17, 14:48] Yes bella, all good, I'm in X now.
How are you? How was the weekend at X?

I get no reply from her for a couple days, then i ping her again with a funny gif:

[4/19, 11:39] (gif)
[4/19, 11:40]

[4/19, 11:40] Is it a meme ? Or is it for real ?
[4/19, 11:41] I love it.
[4/19, 11:41]

[4/19, 11:42] I'm going here --. (gmaps screenshot)
[4/19, 16:19] Very cool

When are you coming back to your city?

No reply again from her and i just drop the ball.

I realize my last text is a bit too strong. I think i lost my patience as i felt i was chasing her - mistake.

Any thoughts?

Chad Tyrone · Apr 20, 2024

Higher said:
Im about to bounce us to another place
, out of thin air, she pulls a time-constraint, i gotta go in 30mins cause i have a dinner at a friends place. Im like, i thought you were free for the evening. Shes like, sorry i forgot to tell you.

Well next time you are best served by getting to know how much time she has early into the date and it won't faze you when she tells you she has to leave

Knowing how much time she has also helps you sort out how you'll run the date...if it turns out she's short on time you can run a short informational date and close things out on a later date or run a structural date and close on the same date if she isn't rushing somewhere else

Ultimately,knowing how much time she has helps you avoid building her emotions to a point that they crest and you can't close things out because she has to leave

You also can ask her if she will be up to something else later after setting up the date over text to avoid "squeezing" your date in.You want enough time to run your process and enough time to seal the deal if you are looking to get together with her on the same date

Higher said:
dont believe her, and anyway i dont wanna wait for her 30mins to go by, so im like, oh ok, well lets go now then. So she pays and we leave the place.

Well ,learn not to take what women say at face value.If I were you, I would have pulled her before her "time" was up

I've pulled a chick back to my place before ...funny her boyfriend was asking her how long she will be over a call... chick asked me how long we'll be and I told her 30 mins or less.She stayed at my place three hours after I had shag her brains out

I also met a hot chick that told me she had to leave with her friends after 5 minutes. I moved her less than 10 minutes in after meeting her and we ended up talking for an hour.I drew her into my world that she forgot she had to leave.All along she had a watch on her arm

I don't say this to brag but to show why you don't have to take most things at face value.Trust me if a girl really likes you she'll want to stay longer and she won't care whether she said she'll stick around for some minutes

Certainly there are chicks who may genuinely want to leave...try and see if you can get them to stay or move somewhere else with you nonetheless.Give it a whirl and see what you can really pull off if you don't take what most chicks say at face value

So yeah,it's always twice better to move things forward while you still can rather than push things off and have to chase her down or have a hard time getting her out again

Chad

Higher · Apr 21, 2024

Great inputs @Chad Tyrone, thanks.

Yeah, my main mistake was in how i scheduled the date. I immediately regretted it afterwards, and should have made sure she had enough time for a proper date - especially since my place is a 20min train ride from where we were and i wanted to bounce us at least once before inviting her over.

What about:
- me not kissing her (even with just a peck) when she seemed she was expecting it;
- my texts

You think these killed my chances for good? Or do you think it was already dead because of her emotional cresting after the date?

gameboy · Apr 21, 2024

I'd have definitely gone for the kiss. Not just a peck either. Turning your face away when she wants to make out will for sure make her feel rejected.

Will_V · Apr 21, 2024

Higher said:
Met this hot Latina with full-body tattoos while daygaming last week.

I approach her informational, then i compliment her style. She thanks me and we exchange numbers. We have a bit of a language barrier, but here the texts (some in english, most are in spanish and i translated them):

[4/8, 12:10] Ciao X nice to meet you! I'm going in the old city now and then write you later. Higher
[4/8, 12:21] Hi Higher !
Nice to meet you , hope to see you soon now I'm off to X have a nice day .
[4/8, 12:35] Cool, enjoy (not good that i switched to english and it sounds pissed/dismissive)
[4/8, 12:35] thank you very much

One interesting thing about this gal is that she has a 24h timer on Whatsapp, so every text she sends or receives gets deleted the next day.

Anyway i ping her the next day and we agree to catch up:

[4/9, 10:39] Hello X
[4/9, 13:17] Hello Higher
[4/9, 13:17] Very well and how are you ?
[4/9, 13:17] Are you in my city?
[4/9, 13:55] I'm in my city right now beautiful.
Did you like X?
[4/9, 13:59] Yes very nice X I loved it.
[4/9, 14:01] I think I will come back when the weather is better ,. There are a lot of nice mountains
[4/9, 14:09] Yes it is wonderful.
I would like to see you
What are you doing today?
[4/9, 14:12] I'm in X now at a friend's house
[4/9, 14:13] Then I will go to my other friend's house ,. But if you can we'll meet up today !
[4/9, 14:13] Would you come to my city?
[4/9, 14:28] Do you like wine?
[4/9, 14:30] Yes
[4/9, 14:44] We can have a wine in my city or your city, you decide.
If in my city, it's on me
If in your city, it's on you
[4/9, 14:46] Ok I'll pay I'll see you in my city
[4/9, 14:47] Tell me what time we meet!
[4/9, 15:07] Ok bella I can be at the station at 18
[4/9, 15:16] Perfect see you at 18:00h
[4/9, 17:10] Im on the train
I'll be here at 18 (gmaps link)
[4/9, 17:43] Ok
[4/9, 17:55] I'm here
[4/9, 17:56] right here (sends pic)

So we meet and grab wine at a cool, intimate place. We talk about good stuff (living in the present, connection, dreams, passions) and i touch her quite a lot - she giggles and seems to enjoy it.

Im about to bounce us to another place when, out of thin air, she pulls a time-constraint, i gotta go in 30mins cause i have a dinner at a friends place. Im like, i thought you were free for the evening. Shes like, sorry i forgot to tell you.

I dont believe her, and anyway i dont wanna wait for her 30mins to go by, so im like, oh ok, well lets go now then. So she pays and we leave the place.

While walking to the station we brush against each other a lot and i seed a date in my city without time-constraint. At the station she sorta leans forward for a kiss. I kiss her on the cheek instead, as i didnt like the move she pulled earlier. Maybe a mistake - a quick peck on the lips to make the attraction official wouldnt have hurt.

[4/9, 19:06] Did you take the train?
[4/9, 19:07] Yes just right
[4/9, 19:07]
[4/9, 19:07] Loved this time with you.
[4/9, 19:07] Next without time ok
[4/9, 19:07] Sory
[4/9, 19:07] Perfect
[4/9, 19:07] Enjoy the evening
[4/9, 19:08] thank you

I totally feel in chasing territory already.

A couple days later im abroad and i ping her again:

[4/11, 10:39] Ciao X
[4/11, 11:10] Ciao Higher
[4/11, 11:11] Happy day
[4/11, 11:11] I am traveling to X
[4/11, 11:12] I will be back on Sunday .
(im abroad and send her a pic)
[4/11, 11:43] Ooh very nice
[4/11, 11:45] It's a nice day here in X too. (she sends me a couple videos of her place)
[4/11, 12:40] Nice indeed

I leave it at that and i get back in touch the following week when im back in the country:

[4/17, 10:29] Hello X
[4/17, 13:25] Hello Higher
[4/17, 13:26] How are you ? I hope super excellent
[4/17, 14:48] Yes bella, all good, I'm in X now.
How are you? How was the weekend at X?

I get no reply from her for a couple days, then i ping her again with a funny gif:

[4/19, 11:39] (gif)
[4/19, 11:40]
[4/19, 11:40] Is it a meme ? Or is it for real ?
[4/19, 11:41] I love it.
[4/19, 11:41]
[4/19, 11:42] I'm going here --. (gmaps screenshot)
[4/19, 16:19] Very cool
When are you coming back to your city?

No reply again from her and i just drop the ball.

I realize my last text is a bit too strong. I think i lost my patience as i felt i was chasing her - mistake.

Any thoughts?

You missed a bunch of opportunities to banter and build rapport over text.

When she sent you pictures of her place, you just replied with a generic compliment, could have made jokes, teased, made some innuendo etc instead.

Also right at the end instead of engaging her over the meme, you cut straight to logistics in your follow up, making you seem impatient.

From what I can see she was quite compliant in responding to your texts, apologized for running out of time with you, etc so you might have come across as a bit brusque in response to that.

About the kiss, if you wanted to put her on the spot a bit you could keep your mouth an inch or two away and not let her close the gap, looking her in the eye as if to say 'I'm gonna play with you a bit'. That way you don't kill the tension (as you did with a cheek kiss) but instead build it up further.

Sounds like she probably felt like she'd gotten under your skin and run away with the frame.

Higher · Apr 21, 2024

@gameboy, @Will_V, thanks for the feedback gents.

gameboy said:
Turning your face away when she wants to make out will for sure make her feel rejected.

I guess my ego got the best of me here.

Will_V said:
You missed a bunch of opportunities to banter and build rapport over text.

Something i did with another girl lately too. I messed up the proper texting process due to impatience - not good. Gotta recalibrate on this.

Will_V said:
you just replied with a generic compliment

I guess this is why she ghosted me the first time. She probably thought i was gonna reply with something quick and generic again.

Even the first "Cool, enjoy" from me was really brusque and dismissive.

Will_V said:
About the kiss, if you wanted to put her on the spot a bit you could keep your mouth an inch or two away and not let her close the gap, looking her in the eye as if to say 'I'm gonna play with you a bit'. That way you don't kill the tension (as you did with a cheek kiss) but instead build it up further.

Oh good move.

--

Too bad, chemistry was good with this gal. Shes fun and very feminine.

Gotta chill out, be more patient and move as fast as the girl allows me to.

Skills · Apr 21, 2024

Higher said:
Met this hot Latina with full-body tattoos while daygaming last week.

I approach her informational, then i compliment her style. She thanks me and we exchange numbers. We have a bit of a language barrier, but here the texts (some in english, most are in spanish and i translated them):

[4/8, 12:10] Ciao X nice to meet you! I'm going in the old city now and then write you later. Higher
[4/8, 12:21] Hi Higher !
Nice to meet you , hope to see you soon now I'm off to X have a nice day .
[4/8, 12:35] Cool, enjoy (not good that i switched to english and it sounds pissed/dismissive)
[4/8, 12:35] thank you very much

One interesting thing about this gal is that she has a 24h timer on Whatsapp, so every text she sends or receives gets deleted the next day.

Anyway i ping her the next day and we agree to catch up:

[4/9, 10:39] Hello X
[4/9, 13:17] Hello Higher
[4/9, 13:17] Very well and how are you ?
[4/9, 13:17] Are you in my city?
[4/9, 13:55] I'm in my city right now beautiful.
Did you like X?
[4/9, 13:59] Yes very nice X I loved it.
[4/9, 14:01] I think I will come back when the weather is better ,. There are a lot of nice mountains
[4/9, 14:09] Yes it is wonderful.
I would like to see you
What are you doing today?
[4/9, 14:12] I'm in X now at a friend's house
[4/9, 14:13] Then I will go to my other friend's house ,. But if you can we'll meet up today !
[4/9, 14:13] Would you come to my city?
[4/9, 14:28] Do you like wine?
[4/9, 14:30] Yes
[4/9, 14:44] We can have a wine in my city or your city, you decide.
If in my city, it's on me
If in your city, it's on you
[4/9, 14:46] Ok I'll pay I'll see you in my city
[4/9, 14:47] Tell me what time we meet!
[4/9, 15:07] Ok bella I can be at the station at 18
[4/9, 15:16] Perfect see you at 18:00h
[4/9, 17:10] Im on the train
I'll be here at 18 (gmaps link)
[4/9, 17:43] Ok
[4/9, 17:55] I'm here
[4/9, 17:56] right here (sends pic)

So we meet and grab wine at a cool, intimate place. We talk about good stuff (living in the present, connection, dreams, passions) and i touch her quite a lot - she giggles and seems to enjoy it.

Im about to bounce us to another place when, out of thin air, she pulls a time-constraint, i gotta go in 30mins cause i have a dinner at a friends place. Im like, i thought you were free for the evening. Shes like, sorry i forgot to tell you.

I dont believe her, and anyway i dont wanna wait for her 30mins to go by, so im like, oh ok, well lets go now then. So she pays and we leave the place.

While walking to the station we brush against each other a lot and i seed a date in my city without time-constraint. At the station she sorta leans forward for a kiss. I kiss her on the cheek instead, as i didnt like the move she pulled earlier. Maybe a mistake - a quick peck on the lips to make the attraction official wouldnt have hurt.

[4/9, 19:06] Did you take the train?
[4/9, 19:07] Yes just right
[4/9, 19:07]
[4/9, 19:07] Loved this time with you.
[4/9, 19:07] Next without time ok
[4/9, 19:07] Sory
[4/9, 19:07] Perfect
[4/9, 19:07] Enjoy the evening
[4/9, 19:08] thank you

I totally feel in chasing territory already.

A couple days later im abroad and i ping her again:

[4/11, 10:39] Ciao X
[4/11, 11:10] Ciao Higher
[4/11, 11:11] Happy day
[4/11, 11:11] I am traveling to X
[4/11, 11:12] I will be back on Sunday .
(im abroad and send her a pic)
[4/11, 11:43] Ooh very nice
[4/11, 11:45] It's a nice day here in X too. (she sends me a couple videos of her place)
[4/11, 12:40] Nice indeed

I leave it at that and i get back in touch the following week when im back in the country:

[4/17, 10:29] Hello X
[4/17, 13:25] Hello Higher
[4/17, 13:26] How are you ? I hope super excellent
[4/17, 14:48] Yes bella, all good, I'm in X now.
How are you? How was the weekend at X?

I get no reply from her for a couple days, then i ping her again with a funny gif:

[4/19, 11:39] (gif)
[4/19, 11:40]
[4/19, 11:40] Is it a meme ? Or is it for real ?
[4/19, 11:41] I love it.
[4/19, 11:41]
[4/19, 11:42] I'm going here --. (gmaps screenshot)
[4/19, 16:19] Very cool
When are you coming back to your city?

No reply again from her and i just drop the ball.

I realize my last text is a bit too strong. I think i lost my patience as i felt i was chasing her - mistake.

Any thoughts?

Mistake is failing in the date planning, failing to probably schedule in a time when you know how much time she has... second, was the kiss on the side of the face at the end...

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Was i too eager/impatient?

Higher

Tool-Bearing Hominid

Chad Tyrone

Cro-Magnon Man

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FU Was i too eager/impatient?

Higher

Tool-Bearing Hominid

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Tribal Elder

FU

Was i too eager/impatient?