What are some better alternative phrasings than 'I do want to marry but not until I've achieved ______ (some milestone in career/school)?
- Thread starter sinksink
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"the other day, I was reading this article about marriage.
It said, how fulfilling a marriage is comes down to WHEN the couple got married.
For example, some couples get married at an extremely young age, before anything else big happens in their life.
On the other hand, some people choose to get married later in life, after they've established themselves in the world.
Turns out, studies show the people who get married later in life have more fulfilling relationships.
It really got me thinking...do I want a fulfilling marriage? Something I will remember at the end of my life as a rewarding journey with my wonderful wife?"
It said, how fulfilling a marriage is comes down to WHEN the couple got married.
For example, some couples get married at an extremely young age, before anything else big happens in their life.
On the other hand, some people choose to get married later in life, after they've established themselves in the world.
Turns out, studies show the people who get married later in life have more fulfilling relationships.
It really got me thinking...do I want a fulfilling marriage? Something I will remember at the end of my life as a rewarding journey with my wonderful wife?"
I think she will ask me. I know my answer already (not until I make more progress on career/school/etc). How would you phrase it better?
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It's only a big risk if you have something to lose or if you will have something. If not, it could be a big risk for HER.
I have a close friend who ended up losing half of her money to her ex-husband, giant pain in the ass for her, good deal for him.
From what little I know about the OP, I don't think he's currently in the state of owning much of anything. And from what he's said about her, she's an older, working professional and probably in a much bigger position to lose something than he is.
Honestly, I'm not a big fan of getting married at all unless you think you should do it for kids. But I'm not religious so that's just my point of view.
The risk, as we all know, isn't really marriage... it's divorce.
Studies have shown (assuming you believe them) that marriage is actually more beneficial to men than it is to women... which I believe. From an emotional standpoint, men have a lot more to gain from a good marriage than women do.
(https://uk.style.yahoo.com/expert-says-marriage-makes-men-happier-than-women-092140705.html)
Is that because you're early 20's and she's mid-30's? What age ranges are we talking about here?
Has she told you she's looking to get married soon? Is she getting close to the age where she needs to have kids soon?
If it's a legitimate concern for her to get married and have kids soon because of her age and you're not looking to do that anytime soon, you may want to make sure this is completely clear to her upfront.
It sounds like you've been doing a lot of "bobbing and weaving" around telling her what is actually going on with you, your situation, and yourself because you know that it probably isn't what she wants to hear.
I suggest stop doing that for everyone's sake.
Why don't you just say it? Why do you need to reword that?
Dude, here's what you need to do...
Figure out what you want and what you don't want in your life.
Go buy, rent, torrent some books, audio/video programs on basic conversational skills for difficult situations.
Find out more about how to be a man.
Practice talking to people, having difficult conversations, and growing yourself.