Completely agree.
Women have to maintain a public persona/image of almost being asexual - they need to try and appear innocent and almost virginal - this public image is partly to maintain their position in society and particularly within the hierarchy of her friends. It is so ingrained that it becomes part of the physiological foundations of who she is and therefore doing anything to make her feel like she could possible be seen as a 'slut' is immediately shut down. She feels she has to shut it down otherwise she will undermine the foundations of who she is - hence the term ASD (Anti-slut defenses)
There is of course a certain irony here against the point
@PalmaSailor makes above. Because of this we often refer to a "secret society" which basically refer to people who understand that there is "code of plausible deniability" and confidentiallity that has to be maintained in public. This persona is also maintained in private until both parties understand and trust that other person also understands this code and that you need to maintain this persona to protect the girls reputation.
There are some really good articles on Girls Chase that cover this in much more detail - but hopfull this gives you an insight.
It’s as Derek says
So it’s taken me an awfully long time to understand this. All my life in fact.
The best way I can describe it is that it has to be done in stealth mode. And you definitely can’t “discuss it” with anyone else. You can’t even discuss it with the woman concerned until you are a long way in to an established situation where you are banging her. Even then you have to be very careful.
You can’t escalate and push the limits ref the sex until you’ve banged her at least twice. She has to be totally comfortable with you. Even then you have to lead her. You can’t ask if she’s into xyz because she may not know (because it may have only occurred as a fantasy in her head) and if she does know she can’t admit it so you have to escalate and feel how she responds. For instance gently getting her by the throat while fucking her and slowly increasing your grip - you’ll feel in her response if you’re unleashing her erotic desires if she starts to get off like mad. If she doesn’t like it she’ll give you a sign and you need to back off.
Even if it drove her into a frenzy, after the event you shouldn’t actually even talk about what she liked. It’s unspoken, she won’t necessarily want to talk about it even with the man doing it to her. Definitely do not say anything like “I can’t believe you liked it when I did xyz”
As Derek says it is to preserve their image, however the ironic thing is that they will actually discuss the sex amongst their friends - but that’s their decision, don’t you even think about mentioning anything at all. I have yet to get to the point of banging their friends but I think this is totally acceptable and they will share secret society lovers.
When you are in, they will also talk openly with you about their married girlfriends who have lovers. They won’t actually say “she’s married and has a lover” but they’ll say xyz is having trouble with her boyfriend. I had to double take at the time. I said “oh isn’t she the one married to Dave?” She said “yeah that’s the one”. You have to not bat an eyelid and not judge.
Secret society is especially relevant when banging younger women. Right now I have a 25 yo (I’m 53), she’s very slim and good looking, and she wants all the sex she can get. She comes and stays over for days at a time and has been doing that since November. I won’t get into how we met, but she won’t tell me her surname and I have no idea about her social media or anything else and that’s obviously because she doesn’t want me to know her “other” life. And when she comes over we don’t leave my place except for the odd country walk or to get food shopping. (We’re locked down here anyway)
She comes and goes. I don’t ask her any questions, I don’t judge her, and I don’t make any demands of her except sex which I lead. When she leaves I don’t ask when she’s coming back, what she’s doing, where she’s going and I don’t text or call her.
