'What are you up to?'

[Jarradical]

I was thinking about how almost all conversations contain inevitable questions. They're kind of like fundamental building blocks of social interaction. Questions like "How are you?" and "What are you doing tomorrow?". It's clearly practical to analyse these questions as you will be asked them persistently. I want to enhance my understanding of responding to the latter question, so I'm throwing it out to you guys.

The essence of this question (and variants of it) is a query of how you spend your time. I attempt to achieve 3 things with my response - elicit interest, communicate value and revert focus back to the questioner. For example, I would say "Well tomorrow I'm helping a friend out. Do prefer to relax or party hard on the weekends?" I elicit interest by not elaborating on how I am helping my friend, (creating a potential later thread of conversation) and communicate value by showing that I help my friends. In the reversal of focus I attempt to create a strand of conversation where they talk about themselves, rather than a simple "Yourself?".

So that's my interpretation of this common question. I'd love to hear some ideas from the community!

Cheers

Jarradical

 

[aliparpar]

Hey Jarradical

Well, since today I devoted all of my time today just to apply for summer placements and nothing else(well didn't mention studying some seduction arts), tomorrow after a breakfast with friends and some study, I'll make some sort of goal list for myself and a breakdown for each goal. Then I will list some places I'll try to familiar myself with over next weeks to increase my chances in meeting woman and do some field work assignments there.
And at end of the night, go to gym to refresh and go home to rest.

That's my plan for tomorrow. What about yours?
-Ali

 

[Jay]

Jarradical,

Interestingly specific analysis of a question and its meaning man.

When I think of how to answer the question 'what are you doing tomorrow?', I think first of why the question is being presented to me, as it pertains to what the person questioning me is really after or what they hope to gain from my answer. If they are a friend, they could just be curious, or they could want to make plans the next day. If they were a girl who I got a vibe was interested in me, they could have a date/hang out in mind when asking the question. I would then tailor my response to fit the particular situation. If the person was just curious, I would tell them exactly what I planned to do the next day. If the person was a friend who seemed to have hanging out in mind, I would do the same, but ask them why the question was presented after telling them. If it was a girl who I thought was interested in me, I would answer ambiguously, leaving open the opportunity for a meet up, then ask why the question was asked. It all depends on who's asking.

Jay

 

[Jarradical]

Hey Jay

That's a good point. You should always be aware of the context. I think there is a huge disparity between someone who has memorised a few clever responses or even formats of responses, and someone who is able to analyse on the fly exactly what the situation requires. Being able to swiftly and correctly decode the motivation behind a question is difficult, but far more effective that 'running scripts'.

Jarradical