- Joined
- May 30, 2016
- Messages
- 8
Well, i believe its little hints that girl give u to push interaction forward(fuck her). Stuff like:
question "Where do u live?"or some shit about your place.Not like when u just met her but on date
acting bored after pretty good interaction(so u can suggest go somewhere "else")
Or fucking splash something in you so u can get mad(and burst of rage u kiss her or whetever u want)(done that myself tho.girls splashed coke in my face i grabbed her and jumped in the sea, then after about 5 seconds of screaming"are u crazy?" and hitting me there was the most passionate kiss of my life. All done in kinda like joking way tho)
So basically "Escalation Windows" is hints that girl give your to escalate interaction with her. Or i believe so.
question "Where do u live?"or some shit about your place.Not like when u just met her but on date
acting bored after pretty good interaction(so u can suggest go somewhere "else")
Or fucking splash something in you so u can get mad(and burst of rage u kiss her or whetever u want)(done that myself tho.girls splashed coke in my face i grabbed her and jumped in the sea, then after about 5 seconds of screaming"are u crazy?" and hitting me there was the most passionate kiss of my life. All done in kinda like joking way tho)
So basically "Escalation Windows" is hints that girl give your to escalate interaction with her. Or i believe so.
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 461
Hey Zeus! Escalation windows are critical moments in an interaction with a girl where you need to act. Ex. when you move her, kiss her, escalating physically.
It was hard for me to get at first, but as a formerly awkward guy, I actually was able to "feel" them bc things would actually get awkward! The girl would get shy or closed off, and I would wonder what happened. I thought it was because I did something wrong, but what was really wrong was I didn't do anything!
Here's an example of a missed one! Believe it or not, watching the Vampire Diaries gave me a KILLER sense for escalation windows. Damon should have escalated physically here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKHwI7xo2X4
Here's an example of an escalation window Damon hits, but almost missed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w17lNlMEyQ
Basically, embrace the awkward! They call it sexual tension for a reason
EDIT: I got the videos from an earlier post I made on a thread. It's an oldie, but a goodie. viewtopic.php?f=2&t=414&p=2076#p2076
Here's another one that's more recent. Skip to 6:25 for the scene. Barry blew it! Let me know when you think the window was! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg-zGG_cFuw
It was hard for me to get at first, but as a formerly awkward guy, I actually was able to "feel" them bc things would actually get awkward! The girl would get shy or closed off, and I would wonder what happened. I thought it was because I did something wrong, but what was really wrong was I didn't do anything!
Here's an example of a missed one! Believe it or not, watching the Vampire Diaries gave me a KILLER sense for escalation windows. Damon should have escalated physically here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKHwI7xo2X4
Here's an example of an escalation window Damon hits, but almost missed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w17lNlMEyQ
Basically, embrace the awkward! They call it sexual tension for a reason
EDIT: I got the videos from an earlier post I made on a thread. It's an oldie, but a goodie. viewtopic.php?f=2&t=414&p=2076#p2076
Here's another one that's more recent. Skip to 6:25 for the scene. Barry blew it! Let me know when you think the window was! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg-zGG_cFuw
There are different "Windows" to escalate, it's all relative to situation you are in and to what you are aiming to escalate to...
You talk to a girl, she seems closed off, rather cold... Suddenly she comes closer to you, invades your personal space, stands right in front of you. You should react to it, she is telling you that she is opening to you or willing to consider you as a mate...
You see a girl in the mall, you are looking at her. She looks at you, keeps good eye contact, smiles, perhaps gives you a look from up down and up again... Approach...
You like a girl at work, keep looking at her but she is ignoring you, doesn't even look at you. Never spoke to her. You sort of give up, lose the interest... Suddenly she comes when you don't expect it, leans on you, you can feel her tits brushing against you, she is grabbing your hand, she is the sweetest girl you've ever met and the conversations just flows and flows... She is giving you a window, she is telling you that she likes you a lot...
You talk to a girl you really like, she is rather casual, non-reactive. Then she leans towards you, moves her leg so it points your direction, starts asking you personal questions...
Good conversation, now she starts talking about how her guy friend is banging his GF, he is banging her and banging in her... Well, she is talking about sex, which means sex is on her mind. What you gonna do...??
You meet a girl, decent vibes. She talks and talks, you get lost in all the words. Suddenly you hear she is talking "nasty", "kinky", "slave" or similar... She is trying to find out what are your thoughts, your desires... What you gonna do about it...? The worst thing is to play it neutral, pretending that you didn't even hear it...
You talk to a girl, she is casual, then she comes closer to you, invades your space, and says something about another guy - she says: that guy wants to fuck me. She's not really talking about him, she is acknowledging that she knows you want to fuck her and she's giving you at least the opportunity to grab her...
You talk to a married woman, good vibes. Now she talks about how her husband is going to the airport with kids and waits in the long line.... Well, she is not really talking about her husband, she is just saying that she is home alone, husband and kids are gone for now, and in all probability she even made the airport up...
She has a birthday party, just a few people, and she invites you... Well, I guess you just have to go...
Massage. She talks about getting a massage... She is simply thinking about being physical, touching...
Wine. She is talking about what drinks she likes, thinking how would it be if you and her had drink together...
She will drive you some place as you asked her to do so, and she says she may not have that much time because she has to go back to work, maybe just half an hour or one hour extra time... You sort of have to read between lines, e.g you have to be there by 12, the trip takes only 30 mins, but she's willing to take you at 10:30 --> basically she is telling you that you have "extra" one hour or so to do "something")
She invites you to her place or she goes with you to your place. Duh! Forget Windows, and forget Doors too - she just opened the whole Gate for you...
------
There are many other "Windows", it is usually situational. A good way is to always Assume Attraction, always assume that she wants you... this way the Windows will be more visible... This way you can even create Windows if they are not there at first place, you simply keep assuming that she wants you and based on your reactions she may actually open to you, which she would never do if you didn't assume the attraction... ...
You talk to a girl, she seems closed off, rather cold... Suddenly she comes closer to you, invades your personal space, stands right in front of you. You should react to it, she is telling you that she is opening to you or willing to consider you as a mate...
You see a girl in the mall, you are looking at her. She looks at you, keeps good eye contact, smiles, perhaps gives you a look from up down and up again... Approach...
You like a girl at work, keep looking at her but she is ignoring you, doesn't even look at you. Never spoke to her. You sort of give up, lose the interest... Suddenly she comes when you don't expect it, leans on you, you can feel her tits brushing against you, she is grabbing your hand, she is the sweetest girl you've ever met and the conversations just flows and flows... She is giving you a window, she is telling you that she likes you a lot...
You talk to a girl you really like, she is rather casual, non-reactive. Then she leans towards you, moves her leg so it points your direction, starts asking you personal questions...
Good conversation, now she starts talking about how her guy friend is banging his GF, he is banging her and banging in her... Well, she is talking about sex, which means sex is on her mind. What you gonna do...??
You meet a girl, decent vibes. She talks and talks, you get lost in all the words. Suddenly you hear she is talking "nasty", "kinky", "slave" or similar... She is trying to find out what are your thoughts, your desires... What you gonna do about it...? The worst thing is to play it neutral, pretending that you didn't even hear it...
You talk to a girl, she is casual, then she comes closer to you, invades your space, and says something about another guy - she says: that guy wants to fuck me. She's not really talking about him, she is acknowledging that she knows you want to fuck her and she's giving you at least the opportunity to grab her...
You talk to a married woman, good vibes. Now she talks about how her husband is going to the airport with kids and waits in the long line.... Well, she is not really talking about her husband, she is just saying that she is home alone, husband and kids are gone for now, and in all probability she even made the airport up...
She has a birthday party, just a few people, and she invites you... Well, I guess you just have to go...
Massage. She talks about getting a massage... She is simply thinking about being physical, touching...
Wine. She is talking about what drinks she likes, thinking how would it be if you and her had drink together...
She will drive you some place as you asked her to do so, and she says she may not have that much time because she has to go back to work, maybe just half an hour or one hour extra time... You sort of have to read between lines, e.g you have to be there by 12, the trip takes only 30 mins, but she's willing to take you at 10:30 --> basically she is telling you that you have "extra" one hour or so to do "something")
She invites you to her place or she goes with you to your place. Duh! Forget Windows, and forget Doors too - she just opened the whole Gate for you...
------
There are many other "Windows", it is usually situational. A good way is to always Assume Attraction, always assume that she wants you... this way the Windows will be more visible... This way you can even create Windows if they are not there at first place, you simply keep assuming that she wants you and based on your reactions she may actually open to you, which she would never do if you didn't assume the attraction... ...
Verisimilitude,
Those are some interesting videos. Although to be fair, I feel like they are a little more obvious and the ST builds up a lot more than it would IRL. Mainly because its scripted and meant to be dramatic. Still educational though. Thanks for showing them to me
Drck,
I love those examples. Some of those are exactly the types of situations I'm unsure about.
For example,
...there are couple other similar examples. My point is, that in a lot of these, it seems reasonable to think that maybe she's saying/doing what she's doing out of genuinity. But it's equally reasonable to believe that it really is her way of letting me know that she wants me to move things forward. How do I tell the difference between the two?
Those are some interesting videos. Although to be fair, I feel like they are a little more obvious and the ST builds up a lot more than it would IRL. Mainly because its scripted and meant to be dramatic. Still educational though. Thanks for showing them to me
Around 7:10-ish. When she mentions that it's time to find someone new in her life. After which, there's a pause with an obvious expectation that something should happen.
Drck,
I love those examples. Some of those are exactly the types of situations I'm unsure about.
For example,
What exactly would you do in this situation? Yes, there's interest. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's time to move the interaction forward. Rather, it seems like its just an indicator that things are going well. But then again...maybe it is time to move her. How do we tell the difference between the two.
This is also a great example of where I might hesitate. Mainly because the story about a guy having sex with his GF might just be a story she finds interesting. It doesn't seem to me that this necessarily means she wants me to move the interaction forward.
...there are couple other similar examples. My point is, that in a lot of these, it seems reasonable to think that maybe she's saying/doing what she's doing out of genuinity. But it's equally reasonable to believe that it really is her way of letting me know that she wants me to move things forward. How do I tell the difference between the two?
This has gotten me in trouble in the past which is actually what motivates this post. I've moved too fast with a lot of girls, I came on "too strong" by trying to kiss or otherwise physically escalate too early, and even if they reciprocated, I usually never see them again after that. Which is why I'm trying to be more aware of cues and learn to accurately read women rather than just take shots in the dark.
I think assuming attraction fits more in situations where you're getting mixed signals. If she says or does something that can be interpreted both ways, it's better to assume attraction and move forward rather than stay back and do nothing, because if it happens to be a window and you blew it, it's very likely you won't see the girl again, or maybe get friendzoned. However, if you make a move, what's the worst that could happen?
Eventually you will get a feel of this and start calibrating automatically. I think there are a few articles about calibration, worth checking out.
Eventually you will get a feel of this and start calibrating automatically. I think there are a few articles about calibration, worth checking out.
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 461
Zeus said:Verisimilitude,
Those are some interesting videos. Although to be fair, I feel like they are a little more obvious and the ST builds up a lot more than it would IRL. Mainly because its scripted and meant to be dramatic. Still educational though. Thanks for showing them to me
Glad I could help! Also check out this thread for more sexual tension clips! viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2849
Yeah real life isn't always that obvious, but there are also things that we miss because we're seeing our lives through certain lenses. You might be missing some of these signs! I've actually noticed more since I've started watching clips like this. Once you can train yourself to see what to look for, it gets easier. You can also build sexual tension on your own and create these types of situations!
-V
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2013
- Messages
- 707
Zeus said:
It doesn't mean that you have to move her, necessarily. If she's signaling you that "things are going well" and she's comfortable, you might as well step it up one notch to move it towards your objective.
If we're in a public place, generally what I'd do is get her to talk about juicy, personal stories or desires (sex-related) and ramp up the tension. Once I feel she can't take no more, I move her to my place.
Generally, you'll want to see it as an invitation to go to the next level. Be it touching her more, asking more personal questions, moving her, etc.
You can't really know for sure, so people here advocate always assuming attraction and going for it. You will miss more, but you will also hit a lot more.
You talk to a girl you really like, she is rather casual, non-reactive. Then she leans towards you, moves her leg so it points your direction, starts asking you personal questions...
What exactly would you do in this situation? Yes, there's interest. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's time to move the interaction forward. Rather, it seems like its just an indicator that things are going well. But then again...maybe it is time to move her. How do we tell the difference between the two.
---------
>>>> Also, watch for underlying vibes and your confidence level. If you are anxious and keep Pre-thinking everything with the girl, it might be quite difficult to do anything, because you will be acting more mechanically, perhaps awkward... Being more relaxed, spontaneous and more confident is much better approach...
------------------------------------
So again: You talk to a girl you really like, she is rather casual, non-reactive. Then she leans towards you, moves her leg so it points your direction, starts asking you personal questions...
Guy A: anxious, low confidence, worries what she thinks about him, worries about messing up, poor vibes, unsure if he should touch or not, doesn't have much frame, awaiting some signal from her:
Guy A touches her leg, starts asking her personal questions back
She will pull away physically, and emotionally too, because the interaction is not natural, it is not flowing, the underlying vibes are poor... She doesn't like the touch, she is not comfortable enough, she doesn't have clear mind about you, something is still missing... It's awkward. If she is socially inexperienced she will soon excuse herself and leave. If she is socially tuned, you won't notice much - she will still make you feel good, she will give you nice hug, but either way - you will not hear from her again...
Guy B: Relaxed, quite confident, aware of his value, is not concerned much about what she thinks of him, he will live his life the same way regardless whether she is with him or not, he will feel good about himself regardless whether she is around or not... He has cool and laid back vibes, he already established dominant frame, and now he notices that her interest changed, she is now more open...
Guy B can do many things, there are no rules. He can easily smile, taps her leg gently just with tips of fingers, just as a friend, while he is simply answering the question. Or not. Or he can deflect the question, throw it back at her in sort of playful way...
Or he can be little bit more serious, as long as the vibes are there, and touch her more firmly right above the knee, gently squeezes her with the whole palm... Either way, she will like the reaction, it is more spontaneous, natural... He then pulls back, doesn't touch too long.... Hopefully she is more confident, so she touches back within seconds, her mood lightens up, now he can see sparks in her eyes, now there is some excitement... Good, so touch again, this time even more firmly. Maybe she'll burst in laugh because she feels the electricity going through her thigh... Or Maybe she will get all red, and will squeeze your arm with both of her hands, while she gives you a deep look in your eyes... Good, she is thinking sex now, that's why she is red. Keep that look, whatever you do don't look away first... It's all good, she is comfortable touching, it makes her feel good... So keep touching, but sort of push-pull style, breaks in between, and hopefully each time getting closer and closer to her intimate areas... ideally she should be wet before you take her home, because there are good vibes, good physical contact, good tension... she wants it because she can feel that you want it - and you are comfortable enough to go for it without making her feel awkward...
It's not what you do, it's the underlying confidence, the conviction and the believe that you are the man that she really wants... It's the cool vibes, the better the vibes the more you can do...
You may many times discover that a girl who appears quite cold and disinterested show sudden interest in you. Out of nothing, you would say, and you are maybe wondering why. But she is wondering, why this guy never shows interest in me? She thinks that you are ignoring her, while you think that she is not interested...
Cougars are different story though. Many are happy, vibing and usually quite open. She gives you sparky eyes right away. She looks in your eyes, and if you keep the look she will give you wide smile right there. She looks at you and she knows right away - hey, this guy wants to fuck, it is so obvious... And she is cool with it, because she wants the same. She will ask you for a phone number, and if you try to deflect it in some weird "playing hard to get" game, she will simply ask you again. Just like that. Talk about confidence, I've never met a man who can be so straight forward.... She will tell you her whole life story in 5 minutes, comes minute # 6 and you will know that she is home alone today, and that she wants to relax and has a taste for whine. All you have to do is say "huh, huh" here and there, and at least pretend that you are interested...
What exactly would you do in this situation? Yes, there's interest. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's time to move the interaction forward. Rather, it seems like its just an indicator that things are going well. But then again...maybe it is time to move her. How do we tell the difference between the two.
---------
>>>> Also, watch for underlying vibes and your confidence level. If you are anxious and keep Pre-thinking everything with the girl, it might be quite difficult to do anything, because you will be acting more mechanically, perhaps awkward... Being more relaxed, spontaneous and more confident is much better approach...
------------------------------------
So again: You talk to a girl you really like, she is rather casual, non-reactive. Then she leans towards you, moves her leg so it points your direction, starts asking you personal questions...
Guy A: anxious, low confidence, worries what she thinks about him, worries about messing up, poor vibes, unsure if he should touch or not, doesn't have much frame, awaiting some signal from her:
Guy A touches her leg, starts asking her personal questions back
She will pull away physically, and emotionally too, because the interaction is not natural, it is not flowing, the underlying vibes are poor... She doesn't like the touch, she is not comfortable enough, she doesn't have clear mind about you, something is still missing... It's awkward. If she is socially inexperienced she will soon excuse herself and leave. If she is socially tuned, you won't notice much - she will still make you feel good, she will give you nice hug, but either way - you will not hear from her again...
Guy B: Relaxed, quite confident, aware of his value, is not concerned much about what she thinks of him, he will live his life the same way regardless whether she is with him or not, he will feel good about himself regardless whether she is around or not... He has cool and laid back vibes, he already established dominant frame, and now he notices that her interest changed, she is now more open...
Guy B can do many things, there are no rules. He can easily smile, taps her leg gently just with tips of fingers, just as a friend, while he is simply answering the question. Or not. Or he can deflect the question, throw it back at her in sort of playful way...
Or he can be little bit more serious, as long as the vibes are there, and touch her more firmly right above the knee, gently squeezes her with the whole palm... Either way, she will like the reaction, it is more spontaneous, natural... He then pulls back, doesn't touch too long.... Hopefully she is more confident, so she touches back within seconds, her mood lightens up, now he can see sparks in her eyes, now there is some excitement... Good, so touch again, this time even more firmly. Maybe she'll burst in laugh because she feels the electricity going through her thigh... Or Maybe she will get all red, and will squeeze your arm with both of her hands, while she gives you a deep look in your eyes... Good, she is thinking sex now, that's why she is red. Keep that look, whatever you do don't look away first... It's all good, she is comfortable touching, it makes her feel good... So keep touching, but sort of push-pull style, breaks in between, and hopefully each time getting closer and closer to her intimate areas... ideally she should be wet before you take her home, because there are good vibes, good physical contact, good tension... she wants it because she can feel that you want it - and you are comfortable enough to go for it without making her feel awkward...
It's not what you do, it's the underlying confidence, the conviction and the believe that you are the man that she really wants... It's the cool vibes, the better the vibes the more you can do...
You may many times discover that a girl who appears quite cold and disinterested show sudden interest in you. Out of nothing, you would say, and you are maybe wondering why. But she is wondering, why this guy never shows interest in me? She thinks that you are ignoring her, while you think that she is not interested...
Cougars are different story though. Many are happy, vibing and usually quite open. She gives you sparky eyes right away. She looks in your eyes, and if you keep the look she will give you wide smile right there. She looks at you and she knows right away - hey, this guy wants to fuck, it is so obvious... And she is cool with it, because she wants the same. She will ask you for a phone number, and if you try to deflect it in some weird "playing hard to get" game, she will simply ask you again. Just like that. Talk about confidence, I've never met a man who can be so straight forward.... She will tell you her whole life story in 5 minutes, comes minute # 6 and you will know that she is home alone today, and that she wants to relax and has a taste for whine. All you have to do is say "huh, huh" here and there, and at least pretend that you are interested...
I had a big one from a social circle woman Wednesday night...I have other options I'm pursuing at the moment...
Now understand, this is a 50 year old ultramarathoner. Excellent shape but pretty weathered without makeup. Cleans up nice though...
We are at the Microbrewery with the rest of the running group after a run. She locks eyes with me and tells me that tonight she is an empty nester. Her Youngest child just moved out. (Ding, ding, ding)
She then goes on to offer her "support" during my divorce. She says, "I remember when I got divorced.....I had a LOT of fun....." (Ding Ding Ding)
Because she is in my social circle, and because I have an option I prefer at the moment, I'm trying to keep her on the back burner without burning my social circle bridges....
Now understand, this is a 50 year old ultramarathoner. Excellent shape but pretty weathered without makeup. Cleans up nice though...
We are at the Microbrewery with the rest of the running group after a run. She locks eyes with me and tells me that tonight she is an empty nester. Her Youngest child just moved out. (Ding, ding, ding)
She then goes on to offer her "support" during my divorce. She says, "I remember when I got divorced.....I had a LOT of fun....." (Ding Ding Ding)
Because she is in my social circle, and because I have an option I prefer at the moment, I'm trying to keep her on the back burner without burning my social circle bridges....