What do I do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys,

I am excited to join this forum and I am hoping to learn from your experiences. There has been a girl that I have been "chasing" for a while. I agree with Chase that chasing is bad and that I should always be moving quickly. I didn't chase her at the start but the dynamics of the relationship became really weird and I can pinpoint the moment when it became weird. So here's the story. So I met her in one of my graduate classes at the beginning of this semester. I asked her out and for the first date, we hung out, went to grab some food, walked by the river and spent the entire day together. She invited me back to her place for dinner but I was tired so I called it a night. I messaged her and got together that weekend for food at her place. She even made sure that her roommate would not be home. After dinner, we were sitting in her bedroom and chatting, and I wanted to make something happen because everything was going great (I was stroking her hair and holding her hands); however, she said something that completely threw me off my game. She said that she might like "girls" and that she wasn't sure whether she liked guys or not and then she went on to show me indie clips of lesbian relationships. However, she said that the reason why is because she had only been attracted to one girl before but she still thinks that she likes guys. I was completely confused and didn't know what to do so I decided to leave for the night. She looked a bit sad and disappointed when I left. When I got home, I texted her that I like her and she replied with "I am happy too".

Anyways, from that day on, it became really weird. We still hung out and I've been back to her place a couple of times. Sometimes just cuddling and watching movies together. About two months passed and I really liked this girl so I told her that I wanted to be her boyfriend. She then told me that I am too sensitive for her and that she only wants to be friends. Of course I said no and haven't talked to her since.

So here's my question, what could I have done differently? How should I have responded to her lesbian story? Please let me know.

Best

 

[Gtrmn360]

Well it is hard to say considering that I don't know this girl or your relationship at this point, but i can tell you that if you truly like this girl to persure a relationship as long as you believe you can make it work. You just have to stay honest with yourself and to her as well, otherwise you will never make this work. As for her saying she is a lesbian you should work to change that and if she likes you work on building your relationship to make it a long lasting and happy one. Best of luck to you man.

 

[Just_Dave]

First Day Move

I'm going to pin point the first date, if you spent the whole day with her and didn't make a intimate move, kissing or intimate touching. This where she thought you either where trying to girlfriend her or wanted to be friends. The next time if you're going to spend the whole day with a girl make sure it ends with the two of you becoming lovers.

Move quickly, and you'll succeed

Just Dave

 

[Franco]

Hi truc87,

There are many mistakes that you made during this interaction, but instead of trying to analyze this one sequence of events, it would best suit you to have an understanding of what it is that women really want. For that, I highly suggest you check out this topic and go through the required readings:

Newbie Assignment

- Franco

 

[Light]

Hi truc87,

You didn't Close her. Thats the major flaw.
What you should have done is just kissed her anyway regardless of what she told you, and then let the emotion ride from there on.

Close your girl quick next time, and you will see better results.

Light