The first response was so silly that it made me laugh.
The second response kind of humbled me. Don't get me wrong, it's still silly. But the question is so basic as to be skipped over. As someone who has been trying (and failing) at cold approach, it certainly struck my as poignant, as in losing the forest for the trees.
Thank you for being so goddamned enlightened ron, you buddha.
Anyways, the question as I read it is: what do I need to say when approaching a woman to get her phone number? (What needs to happen?)
Also framed as, why can't we just go up to a pretty girl, and say one sentence ("you're cute, give me your phone number?") and succeed? (Which you sometimes can, but is decidedly a lower percentage shot).
And why is 'phone number' even the goal here? What is the goal?
As for how I do things, the goal is actually making her a girlfriend (or one of a few casual girls), not phone number. So the goal itself is some type of connection, that runs through sexual intimacy. A phone number is sometimes a stepping stone toward that. But so is asking her to leave with you. In a situation where she or you can't, phone number is needed, and the lead needs to be warm.
So when approaching a stranger, what we're really looking for is an attractive girl who is romantically available and an interaction with her that yields a phone number and a receptiveness to being led forward at a later date (warm lead).
What I have learned is that what you say doesn't matter too much. It's more of 'what you're doing with the words' than 'what you're saying.' First i have to get the woman's attention with a greeting or a remark. Honestly i sometimes just say 'hi' or 'hey,' this never seemed to matter too much, but i also lie some personality or humor down here if i'm bored.
Now remember, we're building an interaction here, and a conversation is only part of that. I like to laugh and tease so i do that a lot. I make sure she does most of the talking, as historically i am a blabber mouth and this is real bad-- let her be curious about.
The thing about interacting in this way is that it's just for fun and having a laugh and learning a bit about the girl. It's emotionally coloring the picture, so that's why it doesn't fit well into a logical structure. Just make it feel good and don't work too hard and let her wonder about you-- let her be curious.
Btw if she really dont like you, she wont make time for this interaction to occur. Another case that i dont hear often but happens to me a lot is that she does like interacting with you but she isn't available. Sometimes she just likes the attention but perhaps not you romantically.
Anyways this all happens real fast. Like 10mins fast. Then you pull the number, and is a defining moment where she has to make up her mind or show a card, if she's stuck with you this long. She either gives it or she don't.
And then, if you get it, she either goes further or she don't. This is why we want a good, strong, positive impression before we pull the number, it makes for a better lead.
Now, factor in the fact that you will face limitless rejection in this process, sometimes fail to find any women at all, be in direct competition with other guys who might be doing it better that she favors, and that mistakes will be made... prepare to walk into a particularly special hell. Yes, it's real hard. But the fiery furnace will bake you into something special, hurt you with pain, expose your weaknesses and make you face them, and otherwise up your self/game.
Anyways, thats my present take after focusing on this for a few months. thanks for that question, i think it helped me more than it helped you.
