What happens when a girl says she wants to get to know you more on Tinder?

[Dragonetti]

I know Tinder game that you should get a date set within 10 messages or so. Some girls are a little skittish though, and say they want to talk for a while. What's the move when this happens?

 

[topcat]

I know Tinder game that you should get a date set within 10 messages or so. Some girls are a little skittish though, and say they want to talk for a while. What's the move when this happens?

Move on. There are greener girls.

If you really are stuck on her say “cool, what dyou want to know?”… it likely won’t go anywhere.

A girl that’s interested and looking to get laid/meet you won’t ask you that as it kills the momentum.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Move on. There are greener girls.

If you really are stuck on her say “cool, what dyou want to know?”… it likely won’t go anywhere.

A girl that’s interested and looking to get laid/meet you won’t ask you that as it kills the momentum.

Was basically going to say this exact same thing


She's either looking for validation (so no meet and greets) or exploring other options for potential monkey branching. Either way equals no sex/relationship for you unless something weird happens on her side, which you have zero control over


Honestly, I'd just counter with something like "That makes sense, and it's why I'd like to meet up so that we can get to know each other better. We lose so much over dry text messages that it's hard to see what kind of emotions are behind those words. But if you're hesitant to meet up then I understand, no pressure"

Then when she responds just throw the ball in her court and leave it at that. If you think you might lose out through Tinder you can even throw your phone number in the ball in your court message as well

But yeah, definitely a low percent chance of anything happening no matter what you do. It's possible, but extremely unlikely

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

I know Tinder game that you should get a date set within 10 messages or so. Some girls are a little skittish though, and say they want to talk for a while. What's the move when this happens?

She's saying that she needs to "see" more from you to "feel" more comfortable with meeting offline.

Is she being "honest"? Maybe, maybe not.
Is she being deceptive? Just wants a text buddy? Maybe, maybe not.

Does she actually think a lot of text messages over an extended time period would actually make her feel comfortable? Maybe, maybe not.

Do these long-er term extended text conversations result in actually meeting up? They can (I've hooked up with countless chicks over long text conversations), but they usually do not.

They usually do not because the girl "isn't good at texting".

She has little to say, all she does is react.

And you're not only competing for her attention with a bunch of other guys, you're competing with everything else on her phone, and everything else in her life.

But if you want to play this game, it's really a game of internet marketing.

1) Clickbait messages

You send the chick "clickbait" via text.

ex. - You - "OMG, guess what happened"

She has 2 options
"What"
- no response -

If you don't get a response, you don't tell her what happened.

And then you try again with a different sort of bait the next day or 2.

2) Social Media

You have her watch your social media, so she can always see that you're doing cool stuff.

And you basically treat her, and anyone else like her, as "internet" traffic.

Same sort of click bait stuff.

Post a picture of an exotic fruit, "What is this?" And you'll get engagement (which she'll see), or she might engage (which is good).

That's basically it.

Is this sort of thing worth your time? I don't know you, but I'd say probably not. Texting is important, but it's a secondary skill set to cold approach, imo.

 

[Adventurer]

What I do when they say that is propose a video call on the app. Low pressure, and you get to talk face to face. When they are genuinely uninterested, they will unmatch/ignore you. But it's fairly common that they are just on the fence and will accept the video call. If they do, you just ask them out on a high point during the call

The one I really hate on online apps is "what are you looking for ?" after like 3 messages. If you say "relationship", you're weak/boyfriend candidate. If you say "casual", you're a fuckboy. If you're evasive or answer with a joke, they insist and you have to qualify. If you call out their lack of tact, they unmatch. The best I found so far is to say something like " i have no expectations, hard to know before we meet" and it's still low odds. I'm sure most girls who do this are just uncalibrated and do it to filter "fuckboys" aka guys looking for hookups but pretending to be interested in LTR... as if actual fuckboys would give them an honest answer lol. It's annoying

 

[Skills]

I know Tinder game that you should get a date set within 10 messages or so. Some girls are a little skittish though, and say they want to talk for a while. What's the move when this happens?

dont go by amount of messages, girls are not comfortable that is why they are asking to get to know you or will flake........ Go by the structure open>banter/flirt>qualify>move off app(serves as compliance)> open off app or get open>banter>at high point of interaction>soft close> only if soft close positive>hard close...

If you go by structure properly you will not get the get to know objection.... The other alternative burn a lot of leads and look for greenish girls but even with those is meh strategy...

 

[Dragonetti]

What do you mean by "qualify" in Tinder terms? How would that be done

 

[Regal Tiger]

What I do when they say that is propose a video call on the app. Low pressure, and you get to talk face to face. When they are genuinely uninterested, they will unmatch/ignore you. But it's fairly common that they are just on the fence and will accept the video call. If they do, you just ask them out on a high point during the call

The one I really hate on online apps is "what are you looking for ?" after like 3 messages. If you say "relationship", you're weak/boyfriend candidate. If you say "casual", you're a fuckboy. If you're evasive or answer with a joke, they insist and you have to qualify. If you call out their lack of tact, they unmatch. The best I found so far is to say something like " i have no expectations, hard to know before we meet" and it's still low odds. I'm sure most girls who do this are just uncalibrated and do it to filter "fuckboys" aka guys looking for hookups but pretending to be interested in LTR... as if actual fuckboys would give them an honest answer lol. It's annoying

The best answer I have is answering "I'm looking for this" and sending the music video *I want it all* by Queen

 

[lceman]

What do you mean by "qualify" in Tinder terms? How would that be done

"you seem cool/fun/interesting, let's (grab a drink, coffee, etc) and see if we vibe"

just give her a reason to meet, grab her number, and set up a date.

 

[Dragonetti]

So I said we should get to know each other in person and it's easier, and she says she prefers to get comfortable first. She seems like a big nerd (which itself is not a problem). I just have no indication of how long this will take

 

[topcat]

So I said we should get to know each other in person and it's easier, and she says she prefers to get comfortable first. She seems like a big nerd (which itself is not a problem). I just have no indication of how long this will take

she’s not interested. move on

 

[RedNeck]

dont go by amount of messages, girls are not comfortable that is why they are asking to get to know you or will flake........ Go by the structure open>banter/flirt>qualify>move off app(serves as compliance)> open off app or get open>banter>at high point of interaction>soft close> only if soft close positive>hard close...

If you go by structure properly you will not get the get to know objection.... The other alternative burn a lot of leads and look for greenish girls but even with those is meh strategy...

100% agree here with @Skills. If you keep moving on to the next target, it is not a game anymore. It is a number game. You have to learn how to jump off the hurdles. Always calibrate to the girl.

 

[Skills]

The one I really hate on online apps is "what are you looking for ?" after like 3 messages. If you say "relationship", you're weak/boyfriend candidate. If you say "casual", you're a fuckboy. If you're evasive or answer with a joke, they insist and you have to qualify. If you call out their lack of tact, they unmatch. The best I found so far is to say something like " i have no expectations, hard to know before we meet" and it's still low odds. I'm sure most girls who do this are just uncalibrated and do it to filter "fuckboys" aka guys looking for hookups but pretending to be interested in LTR... as if actual fuckboys would give them an honest answer lol. It's annoying

These are normal questions that you will get online and you should have a high odds prepared answer to destroy that type of question...."to be 100% honest with you, i am looking for a cool girl, that she is easy to get along with, good connection and amazing sex" ... You need to keep it ambiguous, you can even say if after i get to know her she has does quality i am open for a relationship with the right girl.... (does not matter as long as you are fucking her, just you are not committing but keeping it open)....

Whatever she respond you say "i am glad we are on the same page" and take control by just curious, and throw a qualifying question??/ such as what are your 2 best qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance??

Date Plans - The lover provider balance keep it ambiguous - troubleshooting

So guys i get many pms, and i see posts about lover provider a lot, people misunderstand the whole thing, this is one of the topics people don't get due to nuances. Ok the lover provider stuff has been discussed to death, and yes it is important, super important..... But as always there are...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Adventurer]

These are normal questions that you will get online and you should have a high odds prepared answer to destroy that type of question...."to be 100% honest with you, i am looking for a cool girl, that she is easy to get along with, good connection and amazing sex" ... You need to keep it ambiguous, you can even say if after i get to know her she has does quality i am open for a relationship with the right girl.... (does not matter as long as you are fucking her, just you are not committing but keeping it open)....

Whatever she respond you say "i am glad we are on the same page" and take control by just curious, and throw a qualifying question??/ such as what are your 2 best qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance??

Date Plans - The lover provider balance keep it ambiguous - troubleshooting

So guys i get many pms, and i see posts about lover provider a lot, people misunderstand the whole thing, this is one of the topics people don't get due to nuances. Ok the lover provider stuff has been discussed to death, and yes it is important, super important..... But as always there are...

www.skilledseducer.com

Sounds great, I will try that next time Thanks

 

[RedNeck]

Sounds great, I will try that next time Thanks

Attraction - Can it be Generated? - An Introduction to Compliance-Based Game

It's just 2020 and you guys are still having the same dumb discussion as 2002. I disagree here. Yes newbies where rationalizing back then. This has always been the case. But what seems to be the new trend is that newbies tend to be "VERY SURE OF THEMSELVES". And of course, they never ask...

www.skilledseducer.com

@Maurice , any time you are thinking of moving on from the lead, read this theard

 

[Adventurer]

Attraction - Can it be Generated? - An Introduction to Compliance-Based Game

It's just 2020 and you guys are still having the same dumb discussion as 2002. I disagree here. Yes newbies where rationalizing back then. This has always been the case. But what seems to be the new trend is that newbies tend to be "VERY SURE OF THEMSELVES". And of course, they never ask...

www.skilledseducer.com

@Maurice , any time you are thinking of moving on from the lead, read this theard

I gave the topic a re-read and I agree with this, but how are you supposed to build compliance over text, or even worse, on a dating app chat ?

In my experience, after 3/4 different date invites that didn't lead to anything, there is so much negative compliance that it's very difficult to salvage the situation. Text/call fractionation works to an extent, but most of the time the girls who don't comply are also the busiest, and just don't pick up the phone

Saying stupid things or silly jokes via text (very interesting witty guy TM texts) kinda prolongs the interaction and can lead to something... I know a guy who's so good at it he can turn somewhat uninterested girls to dtf thzt way but it takes like 100 messages a day until the date and you can't stop because it sets a precedent

@RedNeck, if you have another method to rebuild compliance over text, I'd like to hear about it

 

[RedNeck]

@Maurice Thanks for taking the time to reconsider. My main two reasons to share the post with you are:

1- To see what Teevster wrote about the new trend of pick up of moving on quickly from the leads. While the old school was more about persistence.

2- To see that you can turn red to greens.

Unfortunately, I do not use apps at all. But @Skills has an approach that could be useful. I used it before and it worked. Be her radar and text her from time to time. He uses it for the girls with BF who are not willing to cheat yet. This approach will achieve tow things:
1- If she really needs more time to know you, then she gets this time.
2-If there is another guy in the picture, then you are on her radar once things don't work out with this guy you will be her first choice.

There is a book called Daygame Mastery by Nick Krausser. He has a chapter about long game to deal with situation like this.


Also, "map is the terrority" . With time, you will learn to calibrate to the girl. There are girls who need more, there are girls who are more romantiec than others,....etc.

How Much Interest to Show a Girl (The 3 Considerations)

Each girl needs you to show a somewhat different amount of interest in her at different phases of the courtship. There are 3 keys to this: her interest, her type, and calibration. Contents 1. Her Type and Interest Level How Hot for You is She? Her Type: Aloof or Romantic 2. How to Calibrate Your...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Bill]

you may not have built enough comfort with her

 

[Skills]

you may not have built enough comfort with her

didn't i say this.... I guarntee you this is what happening:

match happens:

op: opens
she:responds
op: ask couple of question
she: reponds
then he ask to meet
she is not comfortable and say i want to get to know you? aka no, we need to text more, but at this point negative compliance....

Op. follow my advice and field test(proper structure i refer to in my previous answer), if you do it, there is no way after a soft close, and she positively answers to a proper soft close no way she will be like "i got to get to know you"

Exhibit:

blah blah blah, maria we should have a quick meet and great to see if the vibe is there, something casual and low key such as coffee or a drink:

maria: sound great

op: when do you have some availability in your schedule:

maria: i may be a able to do sunday

op: sunday sounds good let do 7 pm

marai: but i have to get know you more first....

^0 chance of this happening, i dont get ever ever ever the i got to get know you objection.... that is the open hard close logistical obsolete advice crowd....