I'm doing a postmortem on my quarantine situationship. I've been hearing women say that they like the sex, but feel like there's not a connection. Is connection really a thing or is it a cover for something else? It could be my age. I do tend to date younger women tbh. Thoughts?
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first thot that comes to mind is youre boring her cuz youre not making her feel anything
for her, its like watching a dull movie..she just wanna turn it off and find one that is more exciting that will tickle her to the core
you dont have to connect with her in a boyfriend/girlfriend way, but you should be getting her feeling emotional when youre with her
connection = emotion
for her, its like watching a dull movie..she just wanna turn it off and find one that is more exciting that will tickle her to the core
you dont have to connect with her in a boyfriend/girlfriend way, but you should be getting her feeling emotional when youre with her
connection = emotion
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Connection can be roughly translated as similarity.
A woman feels connected when she feels that you get her, that she gets you and that you are in several dimensions “like her”.
This is an emotion, you do not need to be literally like her... but she needs to FEEL that you have many things in common (values, background, experiences, etc...).
Notice that if there is no excitement, you can’t do anything with connection alone (you get into the friend-zone).
So if they like the sex but then cut you out because there is no connection, it means that after the excitement passed they were left feeling that you don’t get them or don’t really care for them.
A woman feels connected when she feels that you get her, that she gets you and that you are in several dimensions “like her”.
This is an emotion, you do not need to be literally like her... but she needs to FEEL that you have many things in common (values, background, experiences, etc...).
Notice that if there is no excitement, you can’t do anything with connection alone (you get into the friend-zone).
So if they like the sex but then cut you out because there is no connection, it means that after the excitement passed they were left feeling that you don’t get them or don’t really care for them.
I don't know. I could be boring, but I'm not really generally a boring person. I do generally try to find out what a lady's interests are, and then include them activity. Perhaps I'm missing some of the deep dive clues about the characteristics they're drawn to, or too busy trying to be useful that I don't give them a chance to invest back.
I thought that too. That maybe I wasn't mirroring enough, but I'm leaning towards ruling that out. But you're definitely right about not giving her the feels, although not from a lack of trying. I was coming to the rescue constantly tbh
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Very well put, the girl I'm going out with now told me something very similar "I like the sex, but I feel like I want something a bit more serious and I get the feeling you just want sex". In this case, you could say, well, she just wants commitment, but I told her I was open for something more (I didn't really say "serious"), and she became much warmer. She didn't really push for anything serious yet, and maybe she won't so soon, but we started talking more about other stuff, and just being more affectionate twoards each other.
I think that the reason is a bit tied to "commitment", is, but is more about emotion and being able to be connected on other levels with a guy, not like "I want you just for me", but being able to give more of herself to you than just giving you her pussy.
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connection is extremely important, even more so after a high lay count.... Connection happens when there is chemestry, you get butterflies feelings, you get along, you don't want to leave each other site, is like a mutual onitis, it will happen at least once every 3 years for women and advance seducers... One sure way to get connection from their part is having sex with them at least 3 times... but a mutual connection, again mutual, is rare.. A lot of us can create artificial connection i gave an example here
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This actually hits on a problem that I've been working on. I didn't really like talking during sex at all. But I have noticed the difference in intensity when doing talk vs no talk. This might be a big part of what I've been missing
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Talking during sex is a total game changer I just developed recently on my journey, even @Nicko who was a virgin with a 28 year old experience woman made her orgasm by talking during sex, and yes orgasms brings connection on their end