What is the Best Mindset Regarding Aging and Age Gaps?

[Bluejay]

I'm 37. Had a pretty messed up childhood which resulted in major social anxiety disorder. So highschool and university were complete write-offs regarding dating. Most of my life really. Somehow I landed some girlfriends here and there. I'm tall and decent looking.

Anyway, I can't help but feel huge regret about so many wasted years/experiences. I was also hanging out with my 26 year old friend (girl) the other day and she told me she would only date a guy a few years older than her. It made me feel like I'm unattractive/that I've aged out of the market.

I'm trying to solve this issue before it actually is too late but my mindset is weak. How do you guys in your late thirties and above view things? Just accept that your age, for some girls, will be a deal breaker and move on to the next? Thanks

Oh yeah, apps don't help with confidence on that since it seems that lots of girls have a strict maximum age for who they're looking for.

 

[Will_V]

Anyway, I can't help but feel huge regret about so many wasted years/experiences.

I'm 35. There've been various times in my life where I've fallen into a rut and wasted a lot of time. I've found the best thing is to accept it and embrace it - life doesn't go forever, and it can be gone in the blink of an eye. Some people are born with problems way worse than you or I have ever had, and some people who were handed a lot more in life are suddenly struck down at the height of their success, crippled, or locked away.

Everything is a gift, and all you can do is take the gift that is offered right now and do something with it as if it's the last gift you'll get, as if the story of your life might be written only of what happens now and nothing else. Even if all you can do today is drink coffee in the sunshine and do a few pushups, experience it as if it's the only memory you'll be able to take with you when your time comes.

I was also hanging out with my 26 year old friend (girl) the other day and she told me she would only date a guy a few years older than her. It made me feel like I'm unattractive/that I've aged out of the market.

Forget about women's words, they mean nothing. Focus on your effect on them. Are they looking at you? Are they responding well when you talk to them? Are they giving you opportunities? Are they submitting to you and letting you lead them where you want to take them? And what can you do to make these things happen more often and with more enthusiasm, with the women you want?

Reality is dictated by action and effect, not words.

I'm trying to solve this issue before it actually is too late but my mindset is weak. How do you guys in your late thirties and above view things? Just accept that your age, for some girls, will be a deal breaker and move on to the next? Thanks

Of course you have to accept that your age is a problem for some girls. But the concept has no effective meaning. Effectively, there are far more girls out there who are happy to date you at your age than you could fuck even if you did nothing else for the rest of your life. And even the majority of those girls who would tell you that you're too old for them, if the circumstances were right, would ignore their own reservations.

Oh yeah, apps don't help with confidence on that since it seems that lots of girls have a strict maximum age for who they're looking for.

I'm sure there's ways and means to make the apps work for you (I don't use them, never have), but when you're in a weak mental spot nothing beats getting out there and tangling with reality.

One of the truths I've learned at this point in my life is that the best strategy is always to go and take what you want, and then see how long you can hold it for. Sometimes it's only milliseconds, but even in those few milliseconds you will gather more practical information on how to hold it longer and more firmly than you would from reading 100 books or thinking 1000000 thoughts.

 

[DonGately]

I'm over 40 and the oldest woman I've picked up in recent years was 26, my main age range is 19-24. Virtually no women actually care how much older you are than them. It's all talk. Like everything else in pickup, it simply comes down to attraction.

Sat night I stopped in at a restaurant bar after doing some Xmas shopping at the mall. It was packed. The lone seat was next to an attractive, fit, fashionable asian woman, 29 years old. She started eye-fucking me almost immediately, we ending up chatting for 90 minutes before we both had to go elsewhere. She spoke about herself, getting fitter, doing yoga, Formula 1, travels, foodie stuff, but also asked me tons of questions. As we were leaving [I paid for her espresso martinis even though she clearly had $$$ and was dressed expensively] she told me where she lived, put her number in my phone, and that she wanted to see me this coming Sunday, i.e. after the Tksgvg holidays.

And rest assured what she means is that she wants me to come over and fuck her brains out. I didn't even do any of my usual kink/submission/curiousity/pleasure spiel. We just talked about normie shit. She gave me a wet kiss on the cheek on the way to her car.

So, yeah, I'd recommend putting yourself out there and finding out. Shopping at a crowded, upscale mall and then hitting the bars after is likely to be profitable in your searches. I may go back and get a photo with Santa because one of the two elves was so damn cute and definitely checked me out as I slowly walked by, doubt she's over 22.

I don't even know if I'm going to call her. May have to get some more photos of her wearing less to decide.

 

[jackgignac]

Try festivals?

 

[Warped Mindless]

Best mindset? Stop giving a fuck about age.

Women love older men. Im 35 and fucking women aged 18 - 25 has never been easier.

Women don’t even know what the hell they actually like half the time lol

 

[isildur1]

Being old is great as you have life experience and it’s far easier to hook conversations! When I was 18-22 gaming I had nothing to talk about - age= life experience use it to your advantage and don’t overthink

 

[DonGately]

Much, much easier to hook conversations.

Just got a DM from a 22yr old of Kazakh descent, that'd be a fun flag to add. She also looks just kinky as fuck in her photos. More the dress sense than a few tattoos.

 

[isildur1]

Much, much easier to hook conversations.

Just got a DM from a 22yr old of Kazakh descent, that'd be a fun flag to add. She also looks just kinky as fuck in her photos. More the dress sense than a few tattoos.

Yeah- I can’t imagine I’d be able to draw up the experience and knowledge to hook a 22 year old from Kazakhstan at age 18-25 btw Kazakh girls are stunning

 

[gameboy]

Just got a DM from a 22yr old of Kazakh descent,

Nice!!

So how did you set it up that you get DMs from girls out of the blue? Or are these girls you met previously?

 

[POB]

I'm 45 and fucked a 24yo cutie two weeks ago.
We had a date, did the 3 bounce, we went back to mine and both had a lot of fun.

Last week had another 24 yo at my place...sadly I was not in the mood...just kissed and let her go (was not that attracted to her to be honest).
I really don't give a shit about age gaps.

 

[truthasker]

It all depends more so on how you look rather than your age. There are guys out there who are much older but they look young so they can do much better.

I know a guy in his 50s, he gets with women in their early 20s. (He's asian 5'10-5'11, he does look slightly younger than 50 and still has a full head of hair. But, he dresses nice, grooms himself well and has taken courses and training from all sorts of dating coaches.) The quality is good for a guy his age but of course, if he was younger I think he'd get better quality women assuming he does everything he does now.

But on the bright side, I don't know if I am allowed to post links to nsfw stuff but there is a subreddit called: youngslutsforoldpervs
and a lot of women on there that aren't there just to sell content. They genuinely are into older dudes, I have not seen any other subreddits other than many a few others where there's this many women into it who aren't trying to sell. These are young 18+ women.

I have a friend who told me that one of the girls he hooked up with (from reddit and no he is not old), she had been lied by a younger dude saying he was like 45. (I believe this was on reddit.) Basically implying how it was easier for older men to find these specific type of women. (Into the whole hookup/kinks scene on reddit)

I was having a convo (same friend) about ages and I told him how you have the best chance when you're younger (we were talking specifically for the average man.) and he told me it isn't true. The average man who has no game or anything special going for him will have lower value despite being younger whereas with the guy who's older, most men are married or settled by say age 40-50 so, you do stand out more than the average young guy so, there's women out there who are into daddy kinks and such. (Idk if I fully agree with him though)

 

[DonGately]

Yeah, I mean it's definitely easier and I wasn't even including the girls who have serious Daddy kinks because that's just shooting fish in a barrel.

And if you think about it for a bit, you'll realize the hotter babes have pretty much always been dating older guys their whole lives.

 

[Skills]

I'm 37. Had a pretty messed up childhood which resulted in major social anxiety disorder. So highschool and university were complete write-offs regarding dating. Most of my life really. Somehow I landed some girlfriends here and there. I'm tall and decent looking.

Anyway, I can't help but feel huge regret about so many wasted years/experiences. I was also hanging out with my 26 year old friend (girl) the other day and she told me she would only date a guy a few years older than her. It made me feel like I'm unattractive/that I've aged out of the market.

I'm trying to solve this issue before it actually is too late but my mindset is weak. How do you guys in your late thirties and above view things? Just accept that your age, for some girls, will be a deal breaker and move on to the next? Thanks

Oh yeah, apps don't help with confidence on that since it seems that lots of girls have a strict maximum age for who they're looking for.

this topic has been beaten to death... I will tell you this, seduction is hard enough, and guys make it harder by believing and selling themselves on limiting believes.... When i approach a girl i don't think "i am too old" "she will think i am too old" "i ain't going to approach i am too old what is the point".... You don't want to before interacting with women to make it harder for you...

Prime should be on the 30s that is were most guys are more attractive, and were more hollywood sex strart reach their peak...... so in your 30s if your fundamentals right you should look like you are in your 20s... Therefore, you should not have a problem....

if you are in your 30s like you look older or your fundamentals are shit.... Out of shape, out of style, no sexy haircut, outdated clothing, clothes no fitting well, no swagger.... then you have a problem...

do a search topic beaten to death...

 

[Dreamer]

The nuances and details of this topic were previously discussed here, here and here. All are worth a read.

-Dreamer

 

[jackgignac]

Yeah- I can’t imagine I’d be able to draw up the experience and knowledge to hook a 22 year old from Kazakhstan at age 18-25 btw Kazakh girls are stunning

They also performed a government revolution this decade in Kazakhstan.

 

[OldGuy]

In my 60's I got women in their 20's and 30's. The only restrictions there are (1) adult, even if they are old enough to consent, you can be charged with corrupting a minor, (2) you need money to marry them, since they will worry about your dying before the kids are grown. (I did have some who were willing to bear my children, but they had a future husband in the background).