What to write to "Just looking for friends"?

[lothlorien]

Hey guys,

So I accidentally found a girl on Facebook that I like and I was like "why not, I give it a shot" so I texted her:

Me: "Hey (name!) I know that you probably get hit on a lot by random dudes and that you are annoyed by it, but I still hope that you read this message.
I was just looking for a mutual friend when I saw your pictures. You have a really inviting smile and it seems that we are interested in the same stuff so I'd really like to get to know you. I don’t want to be creepy, but somehow I just had to write this message. I would be happy if you would reply. If not, that sucks
Her: Hi! I'd like to get to know you too but I'm just looking for friends.

So I'm stuck here (lol). I wasn't expecting something like this. How would you respond to it?

Thanks in advance!

 

[Fuck This]

Focus on common interests.

"hey i see to u went to SXSW. I really enjoyed the lineup this year. Who was your favorite?"

"Is that a Wanderer Bracelet? I had one that I lost and I was hoping I could find another"

"I see we have Dave as a common friend. You ever go to his Super Bowl Party?"

"Hey I see you have a Black Lab too. Mine is named Bogey. I got him as a pup when his mother died"

You have to relate to them first before you start throwing gamey comments at them. I think your text was passive and AFC as hell and got read to her girlfriends, laughed at and deleted.

Don't ever acknowledge anything you do could be considered Creepy. Don't assume she has dudes hitting on her (don't bring attention to your competition), Don't assume defeat (that she won't reply.)

 

[ElderPrice]

Yeah you unknowingly framed yourself soooo poorly with that first part:

"I know that you probably get hit on a lot by random dudes and that you are annoyed by it, but..."

Re-read that. You can't tell how weird that sounds?? I know you can! You're pretty much saying "I'm a random dude about to hit on you and you'll be annoyed by it." !!

Personally, I think she's a goner. But to answer your questions how would I respond? I'd totally take her up on her offer. I'd try to become good friends with her. This probably can't be done until you stop thinking about doing her. Move on. Meet more girls. Then after befriending her, one benefit would be that she probably has many hot friends you can meet. Furthermore, if you guys hang out a lot in person and she sees beautiful girls all over you, then maybe, MAYBE, she'll start to want you. But that's such a lot of work if you're doing it all for the end goal of getting with her. Go ahead and try it for the reference point, but make sure you also move on and meet more girls.

 

[Witcher]

Hey lothlorien,

I would first congratulate you on taking the initiative to go for what you want, especially if you are not used to doing that. However, one of the definitions of wisdom is "Doing the right things the right way" and wht this board is called Skilled Seducer

You may have already noticed from the other posters before me the just looking for a friend is not the problem here.

The girls saying that she is just looking for a friend is not what you should worry about the most here. This is classic Anti-Slut Defense the equivalent of women writing on Tinder "No Hook-Ups" or telling you "I am not gonna sleep with you tonight when you invite them home at some point of a date". The first thing with this is not to take it at face value the second is to learn to manage it in your seduction by either not triggering it or annihilate it. This is a key concept to understand, some articles from our seniors that will help you understand this: From Alek and from Seppuku

Now for the most important. Even If I do have some experience with online game (Tinder mainly) I don't have any with getting girls I don't know from Facebook, I got 3 dates so far from it but it was with girls that are on my social circle or extended social circle. On the other hand, some fundamentals of gettings girls stay the same no matter the medium and one of them is TO NOT CHASE GIRLS or at least to not have a behavior that looks to the girl that you are chasing. One part of male attractiveness is his non-neediness and chasing display neediness which makes you not less attractive (that a big simplified explanation). Again some articles that may help you here: from Chase, from Seppuku, Hector (the whole playlist about texting is great) .

Hope this helps
Good luck and make them chase you

Inside Joke: Gimli got his way with Galadriel by a very forward ask but remember she even refused the same thing to one f the greatest badass of middle earth. But that Dwarf was a man of great value. So until you get there to stay with the common processes taught here

 

[Tony D]

Yeah the "you get hit on by random dudes" part is not good. You're already apologizing, putting yourself into that category of all the other lame guys hitting on her. Just hit on her. Don't ever apologize for it.

 

[Cody Lyans]

Tone down the I don't mean to be a psycho I am not a psycho, no I mean it I am not psycho add ons. Just edit them out in future as you don't want to inject those thoughts.

That said it was a decent message and she said just friends cuz you seem likely to get pushy if she let's you in for free

Just be like, ha, totally I understand. So crazy thing is I am curious about xyz have you been doing it long

Or some conversation starter
Just accepting, acting low key, not worried by the friend line cuz yeah RIGHT NOW hitting on u too hard is uncool

Then follow the cool rule
Doooon't be all OH NO NOW I PROMISED I CAN'T FLIRT
What would a cool girl or guy do, they'd remember that for a day or two and then just treat her like aaaanyone else

U r doing alright man, keep it up

 

[M_Ronin]

I am not experienced enough to give out commentary, but the fact that you sent her a text like that and be vulnerable with it already put you Miles ahead. Now that you experienced it, you made your brain understand that this is an ok thing to do but next time lets try a more calibrated approach next time.

I think making mistakes like that are a very important part of the learning process. Only experiencing and being ok with weakness, makes you attain true strength imo. I have had my fair share of "embarassing" moments already and I am still going through them.