What's the Best Way to "Level Up?"

[Chase]

I've done quite some thinking about this over the past 7 years, and to me hands down the best way to get better at pickup is:

• Go out frequently
• Take 2 to 3 clear, achievable goals with you each time that will push your limits
• Write the entire interaction down in a field report the instant you get home
• Post the field report up for comments
• Rinse and repeat

When I was new to pickup, there were a lot of guys who spent a lot of time worrying about "inner game," but I basically ignored that stuff. True, I'd worked on mine a bit already - meditation, remapping my brain to combat depression, that sort of thing - but I still dealt with approach anxiety, nervousness, beating myself up after a fruitless night or a missed lay that was right in front of me, all those things.

My philosophy even early on thought was that inner game will sort itself out as you go along. If you keep getting out there and keep refining your approach, your inner game will probably sort itself out pretty well, even without much dedicated attention. The same cannot be said in reverse - if you focus primarily on inner game, your outer game gets no better. So it's EXTREMELY important to be out there taking action and feeding your brain new patterns to break down and understand if you want to improve quickly.

Why Field Reports?

The point of writing a field report right away was getting everything down on paper while it's still fresh. Outings are sort of like dreams in the sense that the longer you wait to write them down once they're over, the more details slip through your fingers and the more even core themes get distorted or lost. By writing down all the details, you force your brain to go back and analyze things and get it all down. You amplify the learning of the night several times over, and essentially get 3 or 4 days' or nights' worth of learning out of a single outing.

The point of posting the field report publicly is to serve both as motivation to yourself ("Oh crap, I'd better make it happen with this girl or these guys are going to think I'm a wet dishrag when I post this later") and to get feedback, including things that you didn't even realize could be improved or that you'd done incorrectly or a bit off kilter.

Routines & Exploration

Having a routine is another one that stands out to me as being very important. For me, I had a lot of classes in college, and then a 9-to-5 day job when I was in hardcore pickup-learning mode, so for me my schedule was essentially Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights going out for bar or club game, and Sundays going out for day game. I switched Saturday night to Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday night when I was seeing a girl, and Sunday day game to Saturday assuming I'd go to see her or she'd come to see me Saturday night and we'd spend some of Sunday together.

The point of having a routine is to make it easier on yourself when and where you'll go out. If you know you're going out Friday at 9:45 PM to arrive at Chloe's before 11 PM to beat the cover and pick a spot to chill at early while it's still filling up so you can get comfortable with the venue and start meeting people at the bar, you don't have to think about it. No convincing, no persuading, no cajoling, no willpowering your way to it... you just go and do what you've already planned out.

One other one that makes it easy when you're starting out: having an attitude of going out to explore. Whether you're a day game guy or a night game guy (or both), you'll find that saying, "Okay, I'm just going to go out today and explore a bunch of new places and see which ones have cute girls and which ones don't, and how many each one has," makes it infinitely easier to get out the door. And once you've found a new place that has lots of cuties, you can roll it into your routine.

So, for my money, the best way to level up as quickly as you want to is:

• Go out frequently
• Take 2 to 3 clear, achievable goals with you each time that will push your limits
• Write the entire interaction down in a field report the instant you get home
• Post the field report up for comments
• Rinse and repeat

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

I saw The Tool did "Bump" on some of the older post. Perhaps this week could be great in reviving some older materials.

BUMP!

Zac

 

[Humay]

Thanks Zac and Chase, this one's really helpful.

Any way of putting all Chase's, Franco's and Zac's threads all in 1 big sticky?

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

How do you guys remember the dialogues in your field report? Maybe my memory sucks but I am so emotionally invested in a moment that I tend to live in it. If it is good then I enjoy it but if it sucks I tend to forget about it and move on. I only recall small bits of the information when I think back at it. Its like I recall the bigger things that happened like touching a girl or being close to her rather than the dialogue or all that. I have read some field reports and for some reason I cannot see how guys are able to recall that much information about an interaction.

 

[Marty]

Altair:

Thanks for bumping this excellent post by Chase which contains some very practical and easily-implemented advice about enhancing a man's skill set.

I don't know anything else about you, Altair, but I must congratulate you on having a very cool screen name. Perhaps we need an Antares on this forum also Though most of the "heavenly bodies" we discuss here are female, LOL

How do you guys remember the dialogues in your field report?

I will speak only for myself here and say that the great majority of the dialog that I actually post in my FRs (which does not include all of it, by any means) is of verbatim accuracy with regard to both my own words and the woman's.

Part of this is due to my natural inclination; when undergoing psychometric testing for a job application 6 years ago, I came out quite mediocre in terms of overall attention to detail, and my numerical skills were actually below expectation for someone of my intelligence (despite having spent my entire career working with figures), yet my verbal reasoning was consistently rated as "Very Superior".

Where I fell down was actually on social intuition (as measured by the ability to piece together images representing a story in the correct sequence; I simply couldn't do it, even given extra time), and in the current Girls Chase context I am very conscious of this as an area I need to actively improve.

I'll quite often compose an email in the shower in the morning, revising and editing it in my head, then type it out word-for-word when I arrive at the office. I speak three languages well and know another two that I could brush up to a similar level if I actually spent 3-4 months in-country. So partly it's a question of what you naturally feel comfortable with.

However, I detect from your writing that there may be another issue at hand here for you, Altair:

I am so emotionally invested in a moment that I tend to live in it. If it is good then I enjoy it but if it sucks I tend to forget about it and move on. I only recall small bits of the information when I think back at it.

I have a lingering suspicion that you may not be giving all that much thought to the words you actually speak to a girl; frankly, some of those words, I am surmising, may not carry much weight.

To put it yet more unkindly, you may be "blathering on"

Opinions on this differ, but I generally perceive that meaningless chatter is not considered a very masculine trait. That side of things is probably best left to the women. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but my view is that each word that leaves a man's mouth should hold at least some measure of importance.

I wonder, if you tried to adopt this policy, whether it would help you to recall what was actually said during your conversations!

-Marty

 

[Estate]

Nice bump.

Really good read.
My first year was strong progress follow by a plateau around last summer I felt.
Got over that but the winter has been quiet for me though I was confident I didn't *need* to prove anything anymore.
Nevertheless, I'm putting a little more time back into this again I want to definitely "level up" to conquer those last few sticking points.

Nice kick in the ass

 

[PinotNoir]

Again, nice bump

How do your goals evolve over time? For instance, if you've overcome AA, you may be stuck in a valley where you're getting 10 numbers each week, and it's easy. How do you set a goal to really push yourself when you're in a valley or a plateau?

Do you make weekly goals, daily goals, or both?

I would like to know how to better balance my life for work, friendships, ambitions, and pickup, but I don't think there's any magic answer here except for "just do it" and make the time.

I've definitely used the "explore" attitude before, and it's helped day game be more enjoyable, even if I don't see any beautiful women. I always end up spending $10 or so though, because I'm like "ah, new coffee place" or something and buy something. I guess pickup helps the economy lol

 

[trashKENNUT]

BUMP