Whats the oldest woman you slept with?
- Thread starter Rain
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23 when i was 20. Youngest was 17 when i was 19-20
I have a kink about older women idk why. It emphasizes the whole young lover thing to me. That a woman 25 and up should be on the look out for a man to settle down with, and meanwhile she's having kinky sex with me on the side. A young stud sex toy with a mature woman. Don't get me wrong, it's not my only kink, but it is one of them. I definitely have kinks about younger girls too. I have gone on dates with and kissed girls over 30 before but the oldest i have banged is 23. Working on it hehe.
I have a kink about older women idk why. It emphasizes the whole young lover thing to me. That a woman 25 and up should be on the look out for a man to settle down with, and meanwhile she's having kinky sex with me on the side. A young stud sex toy with a mature woman. Don't get me wrong, it's not my only kink, but it is one of them. I definitely have kinks about younger girls too. I have gone on dates with and kissed girls over 30 before but the oldest i have banged is 23. Working on it hehe.
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46 Milf when I was 32.
Would do it again and again, and again
Very hot tamale
WIA
Would do it again and again, and again
Very hot tamale
WIA
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36. I've had a few women at that age. None older.
I wouldn’t go that old for a new lay anymore, but when I was in my 20s it was okay. The girl looked fine and she was available. As I got older I tightened up my criteria a bit.
Interesting.
Sometimes I think about why so many guys (and I do think it's most of them in the modern West) seem to be attracted to older women. It seems to go against sexual selection (i.e., sexual attraction to women with reduced or no remaining fertility), so you'd think it must be socialized. I have some hypotheses about that. But that’s neither here nor there.
Chase
I wouldn’t go that old for a new lay anymore, but when I was in my 20s it was okay. The girl looked fine and she was available. As I got older I tightened up my criteria a bit.
Interesting.
Sometimes I think about why so many guys (and I do think it's most of them in the modern West) seem to be attracted to older women. It seems to go against sexual selection (i.e., sexual attraction to women with reduced or no remaining fertility), so you'd think it must be socialized. I have some hypotheses about that. But that’s neither here nor there.
Chase
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It is socialized for sure. I was definitely a momma's boy growing up. So there's that.
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There was this guy in my high school that I saw when I went back to my hometown... he admitted to me that he's always been really attracted to my mom.
When I questioned him about it, he said that he's always been attracted to older women and that he's only dated younger women because he was scared of the pushback and judgements that people have against him for liking older women.
I'm not finding it at the moment but there was a study done about women over 40 and they found that around 30%+ of them are dating men who are younger than they are.
We have women in my community (I run a women's dating business) who are married to men who are 20 to 30+ years younger than they are.
There definitely could be socialization around that. Attraction isn't a choice but society certainly influences what people think of as beautiful, knowing that it has changed over time.
Could be a lot of things...?
When I questioned him about it, he said that he's always been attracted to older women and that he's only dated younger women because he was scared of the pushback and judgements that people have against him for liking older women.
I'm not finding it at the moment but there was a study done about women over 40 and they found that around 30%+ of them are dating men who are younger than they are.
We have women in my community (I run a women's dating business) who are married to men who are 20 to 30+ years younger than they are.
There definitely could be socialization around that. Attraction isn't a choice but society certainly influences what people think of as beautiful, knowing that it has changed over time.
Could be a lot of things...?
Interesting thread here to explore. I'll chime in in spirit of the thread.
To give my 2 cents, I'm in my mid-late 20s and into women between 18-55. I always get clowned for finding some 40 or 50 year old attractive. I do see the signs of aging but some of these older women really age well.
I consider it a superpower like that Shallow Hal movie where he saw ok-looking women as supermodels lol.
I did have a thing for older girls in high school. Also a momma's boy but hope to God that doesn't factor into this... Would be a field day for my therapist...
Examples of older women who could still get it:
Kristi Noem (49)
Emily Compagno (41)
To give my 2 cents, I'm in my mid-late 20s and into women between 18-55. I always get clowned for finding some 40 or 50 year old attractive. I do see the signs of aging but some of these older women really age well.
I consider it a superpower like that Shallow Hal movie where he saw ok-looking women as supermodels lol.
I did have a thing for older girls in high school. Also a momma's boy but hope to God that doesn't factor into this... Would be a field day for my therapist...
Examples of older women who could still get it:
Kristi Noem (49)
Emily Compagno (41)
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Why did you tighten up your criteria a bit? Was it to do with, that article you wrote "Why I don't do friends with benefits anymore" or something like that, and basically, you felt that if you did fwb, you wouldn't go out and meet the women that you really really wanted. Is that the same here, if you go with a woman in her 30s, you might not 'bother' to go out and meet women in their 20s, which you know you really want?
Its kind of a similar question I asked in this thread about how, if a man uses a prostitute, for sex, would he risk , similar to your fwb sceanrio, would he risk doing that instead of 'going out' to get what he actually wanted? Clearly that didn't affect Teevster, but is that the reason you tightened up your criteria?
I suppose it might be a risk for some guys and not others?
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I lost my virginity to a 26 y/o (I was 19). We danced a bit, she basically took me home for the night, got down on all fours and looked over her shoulder expectantly. We were together for about 3 months.
I almost banged a woman who was probably 50, she was Polish, fit, petite and something about her was happy and joyous and turned me on. It would have been a SNL. We were walking out of the wine bar with arms round eachother, but I got cold feet and let her go. I regretted it later. I think it would have been a great experience.
If a woman has a hot, young body, that turns me on in one way. But at least 50% of what turns me on is her capability to 'let go' to an experience, so that I can play her like a piano with all my fingers. There's a certain openness of spirit that makes me want to fill it with something exciting. I find it's early 20s women who are typically more like this, but if an older woman looks good and has that about her, I'm definitely turned on.
As they say, every old woman was once a young girl ..
I almost banged a woman who was probably 50, she was Polish, fit, petite and something about her was happy and joyous and turned me on. It would have been a SNL. We were walking out of the wine bar with arms round eachother, but I got cold feet and let her go. I regretted it later. I think it would have been a great experience.
If a woman has a hot, young body, that turns me on in one way. But at least 50% of what turns me on is her capability to 'let go' to an experience, so that I can play her like a piano with all my fingers. There's a certain openness of spirit that makes me want to fill it with something exciting. I find it's early 20s women who are typically more like this, but if an older woman looks good and has that about her, I'm definitely turned on.
As they say, every old woman was once a young girl ..
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@Rain,
No, nothing like that.
It was half out of consideration to the woman, half for myself.
For the woman's part... I had a girl I started up with when quite young who was 9 years my senior. I was 23; she was 32. Beautiful girl. I gave her, overall, I think, a wonderful relationship, but I also dragged her through a small hell. She wanted marriage and a family; I was always just totally honest with her about not being a one girl guy and how crazy I was about her but how I couldn't give up pickup because it was my project then, I'd just started learning it, it was something I needed to learn, and leaving it now would destroy me and so on. So she stuck with me, but it was clear her thought was, "Well, sooner or later, he'll get serious."
After a few years, she gave up on me, but I'm me, and I was young, so I kept sucking her back in. She was this mess of being totally in love with me but also hating my guts. Both, IMO, pretty justified. Eventually after I knocked her up and she miscarried I realized I couldn't keep doing it to her, as crazy about her as I was. She called me a jerk in her journal (which I found and read... lol), but she didn't want me to go.
When I left, she was 36, same as my other couple of oldest lays. I felt like I'd wasted some of her most important years to settle down with a guy. It felt really bad, like I'd taken this amazing girl I was crazy about, and totally squandered her time... time is so precious for a woman at that age.
I tried to hook her up with a really cool, attractive, successful older guy I knew, but she passed (I felt responsible for her). I also advised her freeze her eggs, which she at least seriously considered (I don't know if she did). I was really worried I'd screwed over this girl who was so important to me. You know, if she hit menopause, and never got to have a family, because I sucked up too much of her time without giving her that, then man, I'd be lower than dirt.
Eventually she did fully move on... at 39 she married a great, fun, in-shape, wealthy-ish guy... guy seemed perfect for her. Weight off my conscience. I haven't kept track since then, just left her alone to build a new life. I hope she got to have her kids. She'd be in her late 40s now.
Anyway, after her, I made a few resolutions about long-term relationships. One of them was that I was not going to date any women 30 or older, ever again. Girls at that age need to be focused on guys who are on the same commitment track as they are, or who at the least are not going to suck them into falling into love with some guy who won't commit.
That's the consideration for the women's part.
For my part... I haven't ever really been attracted to older women.
I could go into my psychology around that, but I don't think it's that important. Just the basic details of it is if a woman's infertile, or her fertility is declining, and any of the signs that's the case (wrinkles, saggy 30-something butt, older woman voice, etc.), she's not someone I'll be romantically interested in.
However! When I was in my 20s, and learning seduction, in my "maximize notches & experience!" phase, I'd be a lover to what sufficiently-attractive girl I could get on any given night out. So long as she wasn't horrible (or totally infertile... lol), if she was down, she was fair game
I also did a lot of night game, and used to drink a LOT.
So, like, if she was old (early to mid 30s), but not unattractive, then well all right, we can share a night together. Or if she's mid-20s, and cute, but a little chubby, though not FAT, then all right... let's spend a night together. Or if she's young and skinny but her face is nothing special, then okay, she will do for a night. Etc.
Obviously I had my share of hot girls during that period too. But in general I was a lot less discriminating. It does help you appreciate the hot girls more when they're sandwiched between more ordinary ones though, I will say.
Eventually you reach a point you don't need or want to compromise anymore though. So, you stop compromising on things.
(another thing that helped: doing bars and clubs a lot less. It's a lot easier to be discriminating when you're not hammered drunk, picking up chicks in the dark, under strobe lights, going for a fast lay where no one's ever going to see this girl with you in the daylight. When you do day game, or meet girls up for dates, suddenly there's some extra pressure to be a bit choosier...!)
This is a great comment, and also true for me.
That older girlfriend I had was this way. People often thought she was younger than I was, purely by her bouncy, bubbling energy (most people aren't very good at reading ages, I've found). If I look at all the oldest girls I've had, they've all been this lively, vivacious type, who seem much younger than they are.
Chase
No, nothing like that.
It was half out of consideration to the woman, half for myself.
For the woman's part... I had a girl I started up with when quite young who was 9 years my senior. I was 23; she was 32. Beautiful girl. I gave her, overall, I think, a wonderful relationship, but I also dragged her through a small hell. She wanted marriage and a family; I was always just totally honest with her about not being a one girl guy and how crazy I was about her but how I couldn't give up pickup because it was my project then, I'd just started learning it, it was something I needed to learn, and leaving it now would destroy me and so on. So she stuck with me, but it was clear her thought was, "Well, sooner or later, he'll get serious."
After a few years, she gave up on me, but I'm me, and I was young, so I kept sucking her back in. She was this mess of being totally in love with me but also hating my guts. Both, IMO, pretty justified. Eventually after I knocked her up and she miscarried I realized I couldn't keep doing it to her, as crazy about her as I was. She called me a jerk in her journal (which I found and read... lol), but she didn't want me to go.
When I left, she was 36, same as my other couple of oldest lays. I felt like I'd wasted some of her most important years to settle down with a guy. It felt really bad, like I'd taken this amazing girl I was crazy about, and totally squandered her time... time is so precious for a woman at that age.
I tried to hook her up with a really cool, attractive, successful older guy I knew, but she passed (I felt responsible for her). I also advised her freeze her eggs, which she at least seriously considered (I don't know if she did). I was really worried I'd screwed over this girl who was so important to me. You know, if she hit menopause, and never got to have a family, because I sucked up too much of her time without giving her that, then man, I'd be lower than dirt.
Eventually she did fully move on... at 39 she married a great, fun, in-shape, wealthy-ish guy... guy seemed perfect for her. Weight off my conscience. I haven't kept track since then, just left her alone to build a new life. I hope she got to have her kids. She'd be in her late 40s now.
Anyway, after her, I made a few resolutions about long-term relationships. One of them was that I was not going to date any women 30 or older, ever again. Girls at that age need to be focused on guys who are on the same commitment track as they are, or who at the least are not going to suck them into falling into love with some guy who won't commit.
That's the consideration for the women's part.
For my part... I haven't ever really been attracted to older women.
I could go into my psychology around that, but I don't think it's that important. Just the basic details of it is if a woman's infertile, or her fertility is declining, and any of the signs that's the case (wrinkles, saggy 30-something butt, older woman voice, etc.), she's not someone I'll be romantically interested in.
However! When I was in my 20s, and learning seduction, in my "maximize notches & experience!" phase, I'd be a lover to what sufficiently-attractive girl I could get on any given night out. So long as she wasn't horrible (or totally infertile... lol), if she was down, she was fair game
I also did a lot of night game, and used to drink a LOT.
So, like, if she was old (early to mid 30s), but not unattractive, then well all right, we can share a night together. Or if she's mid-20s, and cute, but a little chubby, though not FAT, then all right... let's spend a night together. Or if she's young and skinny but her face is nothing special, then okay, she will do for a night. Etc.
Obviously I had my share of hot girls during that period too. But in general I was a lot less discriminating. It does help you appreciate the hot girls more when they're sandwiched between more ordinary ones though, I will say.
Eventually you reach a point you don't need or want to compromise anymore though. So, you stop compromising on things.
(another thing that helped: doing bars and clubs a lot less. It's a lot easier to be discriminating when you're not hammered drunk, picking up chicks in the dark, under strobe lights, going for a fast lay where no one's ever going to see this girl with you in the daylight. When you do day game, or meet girls up for dates, suddenly there's some extra pressure to be a bit choosier...!)
This is a great comment, and also true for me.
That older girlfriend I had was this way. People often thought she was younger than I was, purely by her bouncy, bubbling energy (most people aren't very good at reading ages, I've found). If I look at all the oldest girls I've had, they've all been this lively, vivacious type, who seem much younger than they are.
Chase
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I think her age was 31-32 and i was 25.
Well my current is 4 years older than me. There was a bank executive in Vegas once who was a few years older than that but I never got actual confirmation. I didn't particularly care either.
You have to remember though...I got married at 21 and started a family at 24. When I became single again, I swore no woman who had kids younger than mine. So that pushed my age range up for the most part.
I've pulled a few childless 30 yo's but there is something about dating someone else who has been a parent that you tend to understand each other better. As a teenager, I always liked the older high schoolers. They looked like women, not girls. In college I dated around my age, but college students, not townies or high school students. It was more about understanding an shared experiences than age...
You have to remember though...I got married at 21 and started a family at 24. When I became single again, I swore no woman who had kids younger than mine. So that pushed my age range up for the most part.
I've pulled a few childless 30 yo's but there is something about dating someone else who has been a parent that you tend to understand each other better. As a teenager, I always liked the older high schoolers. They looked like women, not girls. In college I dated around my age, but college students, not townies or high school students. It was more about understanding an shared experiences than age...
I share the same exact opinion as train . I find these women hot hahaInteresting thread here to explore. I'll chime in in spirit of the thread.
To give my 2 cents, I'm in my mid-late 20s and into women between 18-55. I always get clowned for finding some 40 or 50 year old attractive. I do see the signs of aging but some of these older women really age well.
I consider it a superpower like that Shallow Hal movie where he saw ok-looking women as supermodels lol.
I did have a thing for older girls in high school. Also a momma's boy but hope to God that doesn't factor into this... Would be a field day for my therapist...
Examples of older women who could still get it:
Kristi Noem (49)
Emily Compagno (41)
this really brings up an interesting question
is it possible to game .. older women ? significantly older women i mean
like women who are at least 10 or even 20, 25 years older than you ?
what does the PUA/Seduction community think about this, i'd like to know the general perspective
is it possible to game .. older women ? significantly older women i mean
like women who are at least 10 or even 20, 25 years older than you ?
what does the PUA/Seduction community think about this, i'd like to know the general perspective
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Oldest, around 50 I think. Then someone who was 41 at the time and then after was a girl I actually dated who was 35/6 when I met her, I was 26.
I don't care, age is just a number. If it goes up it can go in lol. I'm 29 now
I don't care, age is just a number. If it goes up it can go in lol. I'm 29 now
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I did the opposite of what most guys do: grew up banging older chicks (8-10 years older than me) and started going younger as I learned game and got older. The oldest was probably a 52 yo cougar when I was in my early 30s and experiment different scenarios...don't know, I happen to find 28-42 is the sweet spot for chicks (if they really take care of themselves).
Some of the hottest women I've banged were in their early 40s. One of them is 46 now, a mother of two, looks 30 and has a killer body (not kidding, her bikini body smoked the 20s I was seeing at the same time).
Course I don't pass any cute 18s coming my way (they have a fresh smell and taste, it's very different than older women)....but I just don't seem to enjoy chasing them that much.
Some of the hottest women I've banged were in their early 40s. One of them is 46 now, a mother of two, looks 30 and has a killer body (not kidding, her bikini body smoked the 20s I was seeing at the same time).
Course I don't pass any cute 18s coming my way (they have a fresh smell and taste, it's very different than older women)....but I just don't seem to enjoy chasing them that much.
@Chase do you mean that feminists and society, in general, want us to like older women?
There's been a real push in the west for people to go against what makes biological sense (youth, beauty, weight, gender) and instead, say that we can "learn" to like what's not normally in our best interests.
Having spent years in a third-world country, I never heard or met guys that were with older women. Youth in women was much more valuable when selecting mates.
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Feminism doesn't push men to go for older women as far as I know. Me personally I find older women attractive as well. Thirties,fourties doesn't bother me age is just a number. As long as she looks good she can get it and I wouldn't mind getting to know her experience and wisdom on top of that. Things like stretch marks,cellulite that doesn't turn me off like some guys are.
Some guys just aren't into older women and some guys love them. All a matter of personal preference at the end of the day. No deeper reasoning exists to me. Like saying why do some guys choose chocolate over vanilla lol.
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@kristian,
Well, there are all kinds of socializing forces that can push a man toward older women.
I don't know if I'd point to 'feminism' as a direct cause. That could be considered an indirect factor I suppose. But when you look at the women writing articles about why men should like older women, they're all older women who are writing from self-interest.
The fact that they're writing empowered articles online lecturing men to change their preferences is a product of feminism. So it's indirectly causative. But not a direct cause.
You're right, men in the third world do not go for older women... at least in their own societies. However, you do see the older Western woman sex tourism to African countries and Caribbean islands with large African populations, and you get a lot of young guys boinking old women in exchange for gifts. You also get the thing where the African and Arab refugees in Europe are shacking up with a lot of older European women. I don't know if there's an angle there where they are seeking material goods or citizenship or favors or whatnot, but it's a fairly significant trend.
There is also the intriguing case of marriage among the Zulus of South Africa. At least according to a book I read by a Zulu witchdoctor back in the day, unmarried men and women are not supposed to have penetrative intercourse, instead only being permitted to engage in hlobagne, which is "between the legs sex." However, the night before the marriage ceremony, the groom must have sex with the bride's mother, to ensure that the groom is a capable/functional lover. It's apparently not too uncommon for the groom to become enamored with the bride's mother's sexual experience, and the bride's mother to become enamored with the groom's youthful vitality, and the two to run off together.
That's all a bit different from younger Western men going for older Western women though. They're not usually being paid for it, or given citizenship, and whatnot.
When I talk about socialization, I mean things like:
In the third world, sex is much more closely tied to reproduction. So a man is necessarily going to want a younger, more fertile partner.
The third world also lacks the media environment of "younger man, older woman" and a lot of third world guys would feel sort of humiliated if it was known they were shagging some old broad.
However, in the Western world, sex has been much more effectively divorced from reproduction. Many people do not even want to reproduce at all. Instead, sex becomes more of a purely hedonistic affair, and the fact is if you don't need her for reproduction, and you do want to maximize your pleasure, an experienced older woman is going to be a more desirable option than a younger one.
There's still also appearances concerns... some guys want to be seen with a girl who's young and beautiful. But some guys do not care. If you don't care about reproduction and you don't care how you look, there's no real disincentive to going with a woman who's 20 years your senior and still in shape. She's got decades of experience, has been well-trained by a parade of former lovers, and she'll be able to rock your world in ways a girl your age can't imagine. This is further made less of an issue with the media environment making it very accepted.
That's the kind of thing I mean when I say 'socialized'.
There is also one other major factor that contributes to this socialization, in my opinion, and that is social life and worklife.
If you look at men in third world countries, they are not around a lot of older women, aside from their wives. So if their wife dies or they get a mistress, she usually tends to be younger, because that is just what they are naturally attracted to.
But if you look at men in the first world, their time is all spent at work or in social circles where they are surrounded with age-peers. If you're 45 years old in the West, the people you're around are probably all 40-50 years old as well, including the women. So this is what you're used to, and when it's time for you to date, this is whom you'll date.
You can see it with a lot of older guys, talking about how they feel like younger women wouldn't even be into them or they wouldn't have anything to talk about. I think this is purely due to exposure/socialization, and lack thereof.
As an example, I am mostly around women in the 20-30 range, and these are the women I (as a 38 y/o man) feel most comfortable with. I'm rarely around women who are 30+. I don't work in an office and I don't maintain social circles that have older women in them. I assume most of the women my age are either busy being mothers or else they're still working in cubicles. Either way, I'm not running into them much.
So, for me, I continue to be socialized to younger women. When I think about "Which women will like me best?" it seems natural of course that women 20-30 or so will be most comfortable with me and are the easiest to hook up with and the ones I'll get along with best, because that is my direct experience. When I think about women who are my age, my feeling about them is basically the same as a lot of older guys' feelings toward younger women ("they wouldn't be into me and in any event what would we even talk about?" [logically I know that isn't true, and I have had a few women my age or a bit older try to hook up with me, without me really even doing anything, so I also know it isn't true, but that is the feeling]).
These are all factors that feed into the socialization to like particular age groups or kinds of women, IMO.
Also, this "socialized preferences" extends to a lot more than age. We all have certain natural preferences (e.g., a young, fertile woman is the 'natural' preference), but it's quite easy to override these with socialized preferences.
Maybe I should do an article on this (probably it would mostly just cover what's already in this post though).
Chase
Well, there are all kinds of socializing forces that can push a man toward older women.
I don't know if I'd point to 'feminism' as a direct cause. That could be considered an indirect factor I suppose. But when you look at the women writing articles about why men should like older women, they're all older women who are writing from self-interest.
The fact that they're writing empowered articles online lecturing men to change their preferences is a product of feminism. So it's indirectly causative. But not a direct cause.
You're right, men in the third world do not go for older women... at least in their own societies. However, you do see the older Western woman sex tourism to African countries and Caribbean islands with large African populations, and you get a lot of young guys boinking old women in exchange for gifts. You also get the thing where the African and Arab refugees in Europe are shacking up with a lot of older European women. I don't know if there's an angle there where they are seeking material goods or citizenship or favors or whatnot, but it's a fairly significant trend.
There is also the intriguing case of marriage among the Zulus of South Africa. At least according to a book I read by a Zulu witchdoctor back in the day, unmarried men and women are not supposed to have penetrative intercourse, instead only being permitted to engage in hlobagne, which is "between the legs sex." However, the night before the marriage ceremony, the groom must have sex with the bride's mother, to ensure that the groom is a capable/functional lover. It's apparently not too uncommon for the groom to become enamored with the bride's mother's sexual experience, and the bride's mother to become enamored with the groom's youthful vitality, and the two to run off together.
That's all a bit different from younger Western men going for older Western women though. They're not usually being paid for it, or given citizenship, and whatnot.
When I talk about socialization, I mean things like:
- Many guys who like older women had a Mrs. Robinson experience when they were younger, that caused them a strong early association between older women and good feelings
- Younger man / older women pairings are all over the media, and portrayed in a similar light to how the Zulu pairings work: the young man gets a much more experienced lover, and the older woman gets a much more enthusiastic lover
- A lot of guys get into porn, and the way porn works, they get inured to regular porn and need increasingly unusual stuff. And it is a known thing that guys seek out in real life the stuff they watch in porn. I read an interesting report from a tranny escort saying about half the guys who used his services were first timers just curious to have a tranny experience after jacking off to tranny porn. There's a huge amount of "mature woman" and "school teacher" porn, and I would imagine this has an effect
- Due to high divorce rates, there are a lot more older single women in the West, and many of these women work extra hard to put out fertility signals. They hit the gym to keep their bodies looking better, they wear make up to look younger, they get breast lifts or implants, face lifts, collagen lips, etc.
- It is also genuinely the case that younger women who have not had a man train them how to be good & orgasmic lovers yet typically suck in bed, whereas a more experienced woman is a much better lay
In the third world, sex is much more closely tied to reproduction. So a man is necessarily going to want a younger, more fertile partner.
The third world also lacks the media environment of "younger man, older woman" and a lot of third world guys would feel sort of humiliated if it was known they were shagging some old broad.
However, in the Western world, sex has been much more effectively divorced from reproduction. Many people do not even want to reproduce at all. Instead, sex becomes more of a purely hedonistic affair, and the fact is if you don't need her for reproduction, and you do want to maximize your pleasure, an experienced older woman is going to be a more desirable option than a younger one.
There's still also appearances concerns... some guys want to be seen with a girl who's young and beautiful. But some guys do not care. If you don't care about reproduction and you don't care how you look, there's no real disincentive to going with a woman who's 20 years your senior and still in shape. She's got decades of experience, has been well-trained by a parade of former lovers, and she'll be able to rock your world in ways a girl your age can't imagine. This is further made less of an issue with the media environment making it very accepted.
That's the kind of thing I mean when I say 'socialized'.
There is also one other major factor that contributes to this socialization, in my opinion, and that is social life and worklife.
If you look at men in third world countries, they are not around a lot of older women, aside from their wives. So if their wife dies or they get a mistress, she usually tends to be younger, because that is just what they are naturally attracted to.
But if you look at men in the first world, their time is all spent at work or in social circles where they are surrounded with age-peers. If you're 45 years old in the West, the people you're around are probably all 40-50 years old as well, including the women. So this is what you're used to, and when it's time for you to date, this is whom you'll date.
You can see it with a lot of older guys, talking about how they feel like younger women wouldn't even be into them or they wouldn't have anything to talk about. I think this is purely due to exposure/socialization, and lack thereof.
As an example, I am mostly around women in the 20-30 range, and these are the women I (as a 38 y/o man) feel most comfortable with. I'm rarely around women who are 30+. I don't work in an office and I don't maintain social circles that have older women in them. I assume most of the women my age are either busy being mothers or else they're still working in cubicles. Either way, I'm not running into them much.
So, for me, I continue to be socialized to younger women. When I think about "Which women will like me best?" it seems natural of course that women 20-30 or so will be most comfortable with me and are the easiest to hook up with and the ones I'll get along with best, because that is my direct experience. When I think about women who are my age, my feeling about them is basically the same as a lot of older guys' feelings toward younger women ("they wouldn't be into me and in any event what would we even talk about?" [logically I know that isn't true, and I have had a few women my age or a bit older try to hook up with me, without me really even doing anything, so I also know it isn't true, but that is the feeling]).
These are all factors that feed into the socialization to like particular age groups or kinds of women, IMO.
Also, this "socialized preferences" extends to a lot more than age. We all have certain natural preferences (e.g., a young, fertile woman is the 'natural' preference), but it's quite easy to override these with socialized preferences.
Maybe I should do an article on this (probably it would mostly just cover what's already in this post though).
Chase