What's your secret to reliably get dates?

[Loverboy]

Hey guys!

Over the last year or so I've approached more than a hundred women, got a lot of numbers, but the amount of follow-up dates has been few and far between. I didn't keep track of my numbers but they are in the same order of magnitude as @Marty's 1st year report:
Approach : Number ratio ~ 3:1
Number : Date ratio ~ 20:1 maybe?

My biggest bottleneck is the fact that once I have their number, many women "forget" to respond. And among those who respond, they don't respond to follow-up chitchat so in the past I've learned to just cut my losses on any unresponsive number.
I just finished How To Text a Girl and I'm starting to test out the framework described there. It "makes sense" on paper and I'm optimistic about my future numbers. So far my most recent numbers aren't more responsive than all the other ones, but I'm just waiting a few days before gently getting back to them with a little persistence and a clear, positive, unambiguous date invitation.

My question for today is this: those of you who have been in the game for a while and who are good at getting follow-up dates, what's your secret?
A few areas I'm thinking about:
* Location: some places lead to warmer girls than others (eg coffee shops versus malls)
* Execution: warmth and smile, asking the number at a high point of the conversation rather than as closing, some secret conversation gambit
* Follow-up: timing & texting sequence

 

[Bill]

- if she seems at all uneasy introduce a false time constraint ”I have to go in a sec but-“ or when sitting down with her “I have to get back to my friends in a minute, but-“. Alternatively a reason why you are there “I was exploring this __” “I was just going for a walk down here“
- don’t leave right after getting the number if possible
- get her to invest in the interaction to some degree, such as qualify her or get her to move locations
- screen for availability “what are you doing __”
- make it low pressure “I’m going to __ on __ you should come“
- get your number in her phone during the interaction such as get her to text you or text her so your name is in her phone and associated with the interaction
- if you don’t think she is very bought in initially I pick a activity designed to be more likely to get her to come as opposed to likely to get her to isolate, which can be done by going to another location if the initial meet up went well. Some examples would be a group activity with friends, or if you are younger something fun like laser tag or mini golf.
- if you are getting the number while shes in a high energy environment like a club try confirming with her if she actually wants to and getting her to pause and purposefully bringing her energy level down

 

[James D]

"What's the secret?" is never a good question to ask.

What it really means is that you're looking for certainty.

No one can give it to you.

Everything you need to know is on this site and forum.

Based on what you wrote, it seems you're not making a strong impression enough on these women.

Or you're committing some serious texting mistakes.

Or both.

It's important to keep in mind that not all women who hand out their numbers are looking to get together with you. Sometimes they're just being polite.

That said, based on the numbers you described, you're probably doing something wrong.

Where are you approaching these women btw?

Day game or night game?

And man, trust me: ditch the idea of finding the "secret."

For any craft you seek to master, the basics should be your focus.

This is why Chase stresses the importance of fundamentals.

Perhaps your fundamentals are just weak.

Improve them, while honing your texting as well.

There's a product by GG called Impulse Texting.

I got it thinking it would be basic. Yet, the video on texting mistakes made me realize I was committing at least two of these mistakes.

 

[Loverboy]

Hey @James D just for clarity let me reformulate. Marty's 1st year report seemed very similar to my own experience. Talking with other people who have tried approaching for a while, I've heard similar stories: approaching 100s of girls for a very low number of follow up dates. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm coming to believe that this is part of the normal learning curve of this skill.

When I ask for a secret, it's almost a rhetorical word. I know I'm doing something wrong. I'm at a point where, now that I can reliably get numbers, I'm starting to wonder what works and what doesn't work when it comes to follow-up dates.
By asking for experienced guys' secrets, I'm fishing for a list of a-ha realizations that got them from beginner to intermediate. I'm not asking for a silver bullet, rather for some tweaks that people have found out were key in their progression.

Now that that's out of the way:

Everything you need to know is on this site and forum.

Perfect. Enlighten me, link me to threads and articles to cover my blind spots.

based on the numbers you described, you're probably doing something wrong.

Yup, that's what I'd like to figure out.

Where are you approaching these women btw?

Daygame mostly. Streets, parks, coffee shops, commute, supermarket. Every once in a while I go to a special event of some sorts with "warmer" leads, but mostly it's pretty much the average random stranger.

My approach: plain straightforward compliment about her fashion or elegance or hair or whatever, if she takes it well I follow up with some conversation that leads to "hey btw I'd love to meet you again for coffee sometime". When she offers to switch Instagrams I dodge and say "sorry I stopped Instagram I was spending too much time on it", I pull out my phone and let her type her number directly.

Current points of improvement:
1. when it's in a situation where I have some time before making my move (eg inside the groceries where I'm timing my errands to catch her at the exit), I'm focusing on building some occasional warm eye contact with her.
2. practice warm eye contact with *every* stranger. Focus on my inner smile and try to share my energy without a word.
3. introduce myself during approaches: "I thought you look elegant today; thank you; btw I'm Loverboy, you?"

Chase stresses the importance of fundamentals.

Maybe I'm new here but, remind me, what exactly are "fundamentals"? Fashion, walking pace, posture, eye contact, voice tonality, approach angle?

There's a product by GG called Impulse Texting.

I got it thinking it would be basic. Yet, the video on texting mistakes made me realize I was committing at least two of these mistakes.

Didn't know about this one, thanks for the recommendation. As mentioned, I just finished the book How To Text A Girl which got me started with straight-to-the-point, straightforward well crafted messages based around organizing dates. How big is the overlap between this and Impulse Texting?

the video on texting mistakes made me realize I was committing at least two of these mistakes

Perfect. Do you remember what those mistakes were and the fix you adopted?

 

[Loverboy]

Someone responded this in a deleted reply. 100% what I was looking for. Will investigate this goldmine

Sounds like you might be burning some of your leads due to texting. I recommend reading @Skills posts on how to properly soft close -> hard close with texting. Personally I started getting a lot more number conversions after changing my texting style.
https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/simple-basic-texting-guide.23663/
https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/who-are-some-great-text-gamers-to-model.25025/