When a girl says “why dont you do it?”

[Kaida]

I’ve recently become more aware of “getting” more investment from girls rather than always giving it.

One thing that I’ve started to do is instead of me doing something mutually beneficial, I tell her to do it. For example, if i know she likes me and wants to talk, I tell her to facetime me instead of me facetiming her. If we’re far away from each other, I tell her to scoot into me instead of me moving towards her.

The problem is that almost every time, the girl always asks me why dont i just call her/move closer to her. Its always awkward when brought up and I’ve been dealing with it with just ignoring it and dropping the command nonchalantly.

What do you guys normally do when something like this happens to yall?

 

[Zoro]

Perhaps it's the delivery. When I do something like that I keep lighthearted and casual, with a reason attached, "why don't you slide over here, so we can hear each other better"

Also sounds like a shit test. Give her a shrug and a mild confused look like "okay suit yourself"

 

[Searcher]

I’ve recently become more aware of “getting” more investment from girls rather than always giving it.

One thing that I’ve started to do is instead of me doing something mutually beneficial, I tell her to do it. For example, if i know she likes me and wants to talk, I tell her to facetime me instead of me facetiming her. If we’re far away from each other, I tell her to scoot into me instead of me moving towards her.

The problem is that almost every time, the girl always asks me why dont i just call her/move closer to her. Its always awkward when brought up and I’ve been dealing with it with just ignoring it and dropping the command nonchalantly.

What do you guys normally do when something like this happens to yall?

You will have to tell the reason it will be mutually beneficial before asking. Though it's about a balance of investment from you and the girl and the level of compliance reached.

For example if she is the one who moves the entire distance close to you while you are stationary then it will be a big investment from her part which might be embarrassing for her. (Will you will move like that if some girl/guy asks you to?).

I would have said " We can't have a conversation if we stay this far. It's weird. Tell you what we both will move closer towards each other. Cool? "

Now both you and her moving towards each other will save face for her.

Makes sense?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Most likely it is the delivery.

Here's where I fought with my ex. We took delivery and frame control to a T.

p.s: guys, this is a joke. That's not me

 

[Zoro]

" We can't have a conversation if we stay this far. It's weird. Tell you what we both will move closer towards each other. Cool? "

I think saying something like this really needs to be pulled off well in delivery, tone, and even the context of the date. If she's resistant to you and you try to reason with her like this, it can become a frame battle.

Change her mood, not her mind. It's not that it's an unreasonable thing to do. It's that she's not feeling it. Logic won't help you here, it'll hurt you, since she will feel that disconnect even more "this guy doesn't get me".

The resistance is sometimes a way to test this. A good way to gauge someone, is to throw them a curve ball. That's why women shit test! They do it for more information about you. "What happens if I: cry, resist, don't text him, say we're not having sex even though I'm horny, leave my bitch face on for the first 2 minutes of convo, etc. " She will either find out the guy folds under pressure, handles it decently, or takes it like a champ and elevates the vibe.

 

[Searcher]

I think saying something like this really needs to be pulled off well in delivery, tone, and even the context of the date. If she's resistant to you and you try to reason with her like this, it can become a frame battle.

Change her mood, not her mind. It's not that it's an unreasonable thing to do. It's that she's not feeling it. Logic won't help you here, it'll hurt you, since she will feel that disconnect even more "this guy doesn't get me".

The resistance is sometimes a way to test this. A good way to gauge someone, is to throw them a curve ball. That's why women shit test! They do it for more information about you. "What happens if I: cry, resist, don't text him, say we're not having sex even though I'm horny, leave my bitch face on for the first 2 minutes of convo, etc. " She will either find out the guy folds under pressure, handles it decently, or takes it like a champ and elevates the vibe.

Have you tried doing the 'saving face approach' thing I said? Because it seems to be a hit or miss when I do it.

What do you mean by escalating the vibe? Bust her balls for not complying? Or give a cold shoulder and look away? Change topics to something else?

What approach according to you would you say is more successful in these scenarios?

 

[Zoro]

What do you mean by escalating the vibe

flirtation, connection, exciting sexual tension, mystery, comfort, chemistry