When hot girls ask you for help

[orkie123]

The other day, I got a random message from a girl I had met once or twice through social circle. She must have got my number from a mutual friend.

The message was about something helping her with something quite technical that she heard me discuss. There is no chance of misconception, it is 100% just needing someone who can help her with it.

The thing will likely take me 2 hours to do, and she offered to pay. I'm not going to take money for it because it's actually something I wanted to do myself in the past, and I'm curious about it. I wouldn't take payment from anyone for this but I probably wouldn't help anyone other than close friends unless they were a hot girl...

Hence there is a part of me that's saying - you are only helping out because she is hot. Also, by being so available, I'm just making myself like any other fool who will help a hot girl needing help. I don't know if this is overthinking it or if this is healthy way of thinking.

What would you guys do? I was thinking of trying a somewhat under the radar invite for drinks when I go to help out. I.e. "You can pay me back by inviting me for drinks one day".

 

[Smirk]

I would take the payment and game her your regular way during/after helping her.

In girl's mind, you are already putting her to the pedestal if you help her for free. And that is kinda true, you are a man whose time is valuable, and you are willing to give 2 hours of it away for free for a girl you have met once or twice before.

What would you guys do? I was thinking of trying a somewhat under the radar invite for drinks when I go to help out. I.e. "You can pay me back by inviting me for drinks one day".

I don't like this, this feels to her like you are forcing her to have drinks with you. "Hey, I did this stuff for free, now I expect you to come to have drinks with me". It will go fine if you game her and she is interested, but it will get awkward pretty fast if that's not the case.

 

[orkie123]

Went out for drinks with her before the helping out. It was still in a non-intimate context but I did manage to reduce the "just helping" frame. Not enough though and I was out of my depth.


Things that went well:
- I led well. I led the conversation, I led where we went, including changing venue. This was what started to adjust the frame a little.
- Managed to spice up the conversation from just talking about work which was her initial intention. Not necessarily sexual, but sharing passions and ideas
- Good level of deep diving and getting her to qualify. Especially on topics where it was clear that I knew well
- Confident posture. I was surprised how well this worked. I went in with very little expectation and so was very calm. She on the other hand was leaning in and kept changing position. I could have done more with this though.
- Good level of eye contact given that she also was capable of keeping the tension

Things where I struggled:
- She was confident shy which made it hard for me to do my usual kino. Not very receptive to touch. There were a few times where she did give back the social touch at a high point, but quiet reserved.
- Could not get into sexual talk. She brough up personal stuff first, but my attempts to test the water were countered well.
- Let the conversation stall on 1 topic for too long. It was a moment of weakness given the rest of the convo was good, but it immediately lowered the vibe. This then meant that my attempt to switch location for a second time was met with "need to go" now.


Overall, she knows she is hot and she knows she gets free stuff from guys all the time. I had lost the battle from the start like @Smirk said. But to be fair, she is someone worth keeping in my network regardless of seduction stuff. She is doing a lot of similar things as me career/life improvement.

The problem isn't so much how I could have seduced her because given the situation I was in, I think it would have been super difficult no matter what I did, but how to meet more girls like her in situations where I'm not starting from a "I'll help you for free" scenario.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Ouch. I wish I had seen that before you met her. Don't do stuff like that guys... it's like shooting yourself in the foot with a rocket launcher. They lose all respect instantly.

It's not just that you help her for free with something like a simp. It's also that you DO have sexual interest in her and lie even to yourself about it. The latter part is the worse part cause she can tell.

Like - you presented it to her (and to us!) as "I'll help her because I want to help and I'm interested in this thing myself anyway", but then the next post is entirely about your attempt to seduce her. So your true motives are obvious.

You answered your own questions here:

Hence there is a part of me that's saying - you are only helping out because she is hot. Also, by being so available, I'm just making myself like any other fool who will help a hot girl needing help.

You nailed it. You got it exactly right, but then did the wrong thing anyway... that's why I wish I had seen your post before you made a decision on what to do with her.

What would you guys do? I was thinking of trying a somewhat under the radar invite for drinks when I go to help out. I.e. "You can pay me back by inviting me for drinks one day".

Drinks = a date... that's not under the radar. That's basically saying "you can pay me with sexual favors". Which is exactly what she did, just without the actual sex. She just threw a little female attention your way but no pussy.

What would I do? Ideally let her do you a big favor, too. But NOT a date, kiss, nothing that smacks of "sexual favor". Let her do a REAL favor. Which probably she can't do anything useful for you, so just charge money for it. It's a great neg.

Then when meeting her, I would disqualify and tease pretty hard. That should get IOIs, and THEN you can start running game. If there are NOT any IOIs from her, I would NOT game but throw her into a social pool where hopefully the social proof will push her attraction up enough.

Shrugs. DYD had a rule for dating - "no good deed goes unpunished." For some reason you can help friends, family, even strangers and earn gratitude. But you help out a hot girl and 99% of the time, instead of "thank you" she will just think "wonderful, another simp slave for me."

Sad but true most of the time.

 

[orkie123]

Ouch. I wish I had seen that before you met her. Don't do stuff like that guys... it's like shooting yourself in the foot with a rocket launcher. They lose all respect instantly.

It's not just that you help her for free with something like a simp. It's also that you DO have sexual interest in her and lie even to yourself about it. The latter part is the worse part cause she can tell.

Like - you presented it to her (and to us!) as "I'll help her because I want to help and I'm interested in this thing myself anyway", but then the next post is entirely about your attempt to seduce her. So your true motives are obvious.

You answered your own questions here:

You nailed it. You got it exactly right, but then did the wrong thing anyway... that's why I wish I had seen your post before you made a decision on what to do with her.

Drinks = a date... that's not under the radar. That's basically saying "you can pay me with sexual favors". Which is exactly what she did, just without the actual sex. She just threw a little female attention your way but no pussy.

What would I do? Ideally let her do you a big favor, too. But NOT a date, kiss, nothing that smacks of "sexual favor". Let her do a REAL favor. Which probably she can't do anything useful for you, so just charge money for it. It's a great neg.

Then when meeting her, I would disqualify and tease pretty hard. That should get IOIs, and THEN you can start running game. If there are NOT any IOIs from her, I would NOT game but throw her into a social pool where hopefully the social proof will push her attraction up enough.

Shrugs. DYD had a rule for dating - "no good deed goes unpunished." For some reason you can help friends, family, even strangers and earn gratitude. But you help out a hot girl and 99% of the time, instead of "thank you" she will just think "wonderful, another simp slave for me."

Sad but true most of the time.

So I dont disagree that what I did wasnt optimal, but I thought I should clear up some stuff.

She herself invited me to meet before me helping her, without me even hinting at it. She wanted to see if I was suitable for a company she is starting. I told her it would be nearly impossible to get me to change jobs but that I was intrigued by what her product is because its things I have experience with.

I would have gone to such a meetup with anyone who I thought had a chance of making it work and my intuition that she could was right. Because of her network, she already has investors without being at the stage where someone with less contacts would ever have.


As for the help, I would not accept payment for it even if I do it for a random guy who I never wanted to meet again. Its just my style because its not my main profession, not even a hobby, just some tech stuff that a 13 year old could do that I used to enjoy when young.

The difference is that if a random dude asked me for help on this, I would 99% just give some quick advice and not offer to do it. For friends I would do it for free no questions asked.

When I met with her, I used plausible deniability at every stage. Nothing I did was obvious seduction and I didnt expect anything. I agree I should have disqualified myself from the start and bantered more though. I wish I had that advice before we met as it would have worked really well.

She offered to pay for the help and I havent actually said I will do it for free. She's no stranger to getting things for free though so I have no doubt she knows I probably will.

I still have the option to ask for a favour after I help her as I just ignored her question on it and she also offered to pay for a dinner as well, but right now, I cant think of anything I need from her lol. I dont need no favours