When is it appropriate to adjust your behavior for a woman?

[Dragonetti]

Part of holding frame is just doing your own shit and not bending to her approval. But "always be your authentic self" obviously cannot be an absolute rule.

So, what are the situations where you tweak things for a woman's benefit? First dates come to mind.

 

[Will_V]

Part of holding frame is just doing your own shit and not bending to her approval. But "always be your authentic self" obviously cannot be an absolute rule.

So, what are the situations where you tweak things for a woman's benefit? First dates come to mind.

What are some specific examples?

 

[Dragonetti]

Well, you "mask" a little bit on the first date. You don't tell a woman everything. If you're in a liberal city you don't wear your MAGA hat.

Let's say toning down politics to get along. When should that be done?

 

[Will_V]

Well, you "mask" a little bit on the first date. You don't tell a woman everything. If you're in a liberal city you don't wear your MAGA hat.

Let's say toning down politics to get along. When should that be done?

Why would you need to express anything about maga viewpoints to a woman you're seducing?

That's not about adjusting behavior for her, it's about the time and place having nothing to do with that topic.

 

[alleniverson]

I've had thoughts like this before. Refocus on asking better questions and putting the focus on her to unravel herself rather than talking about yourself. I think there are certainly topics to avoid and move around, politics being one. Authenticity is a foundation of confidence but you can still harness its power without leaking potentially controversial information you've incorporated into what you consider your identity. Politics, ideas on open relationships, negative opinions you have, come to mind.

 

[Dragonetti]

Why would you need to express anything about maga viewpoints to a woman you're seducing?

That's not about adjusting behavior for her, it's about the time and place having nothing to do with that topic.

Sure, I'm just using that as an example. But this means you hiding something about yourself if a topic comes up. I'm not even political, this is just an easy reference point.

An election is coming up. Girl says something like, "ugh that Trump guy right?" Deflecting or ignoring her question because you don't want to reveal something about yourself. You wouldn't have this deflection in a casual friendly convo

 

[TwoNameGame]

Rather than change who I am, I emphasize different facets.

With some girls, my artistic side comes out first whereas with others, it is my adventurous side or my professional side takes precdent. Eventually they'll all come out, but I must calibrate the order and the intensity.

A lay doesn't need to know your politics or even sometimes your work. A girlfriend will need both eventually, but does she need to know either if you meet at, say, a museum for your shared culture?

 

[Matthew78]

Hello. Yeah, on the first date, tweaking things is fine, but doesn’t mean losing yourself.For example you like, casual clothes but for the first date, you dress a bit nicer, for her but also to feel good about yourself.But if she starts nagging about other stuff that’s when you need to be careful.You give in once she’ll expect more and more.Find that balance between compromise and being you.

 

[Will_V]

Sure, I'm just using that as an example. But this means you hiding something about yourself if a topic comes up. I'm not even political, this is just an easy reference point.

An election is coming up. Girl says something like, "ugh that Trump guy right?" Deflecting or ignoring her question because you don't want to reveal something about yourself. You wouldn't have this deflection in a casual friendly convo

Do men hide their failures when they're talking to women? Do women hide their flaws? Everybody hides the things that don't help them get what they want. There's a difference between being strategic and being inauthentic.

If you're hardcore into some controversial thing and you need a woman who's as into it as you are, and you don't mind filtering out everyone else, then sure bring it up.