Special Girl When to persist and when to eject?

[abond0082]

Last night didnt go as planned

A girl am very attracted to and we know because we spoke. Her interaction between goes between friendly and unfriendly.

We live in a small city.

She knows am attracted to her it is not a secret

She knows am 16 years older than her (am 36)

Initially she didnt dislike me

She is freakin hot and she is black(am neither black or white)



I reapproached yesterday and she kept looking at her phone, she was very dismissive, rude and Chase Amante have talked about rebuffing and thatbit is not a big deal to reapproach a woman who was dismissive


Here is what I hated, I was shaken by my delivery due to her reaction. She didnt say am not intersted or anything but simply ignored me even though we have talked before in the past. After the rejection she would glance at me everyonce in a while even with a sly smile


Here is what I wanna know, the interaction and the woman dont matter, what is done is done. I did not expect her reception will be this negative and aloof and dismissive and disrespectful but ce la vie



Q1) Why was I shaken and phased by her dismissivness To the point of just not speaking what I need to speak?

Q2) Was that a moment where it was correct to bail or should I have persisted a bit? If I did persist should I have called her out on her unnecessary dismissivness and attitude for constantly looking at the phone….

Q3) Should I reengage in the future or better to save face? Chase Amante had articles about reapproaching women that rejected you harshly

This is a woman I didnt want to blow it up with but I did, what I did after is just talked to some friends in town that she also knows and avoided looking at her at all cost. Of course it is was far from easy and she knows it but I tried my best not to look at her or reengage even though I wanted to reapproach


To be honest I feel for her, it is terrfying thought for a woman when I guy she doesnt know well is always approaching her regardless weather she likes him or not. I felt bad for creeping her out.



Most important question. I want to get rid of the feeling INSIDE MYHEAD that I am creepy and awkward, Especially that I go out alone.

And please tell me how to make this post and reframe it to a more positive one


Edit: I just taled to a friend on the phone and he told me he happens to know her well, he said she has close to 2000 instagram followers, with an insane number of men attracted to her so he told me why do you even bother with a woman as such and is considered a beauty pagant in Finalnd (I knew nothing of such since I dont have instagram and I dont use it)


Edit 2: If someone knows good movies on how to deal with a strong rebuffs like such or someone turiåning around an extremely rude or dismissive woman pleas esuggest?

Last edited: Today at 5:07 PM

 

[ulrich]

Q1) Why was I shaken and phased by her dismissivness To the point of just not speaking what I need to speak?

Because you are putting her on a pedestal.

The reason why you are phasen is because you are already outcome dependant, you need the interaction to go a certain way and it simply didn´t so you were not mentally prepared to react.

Q2) Was that a moment where it was correct to bail or should I have persisted a bit? If I did persist should I have called her out on her unnecessary dismissivness and attitude for constantly looking at the phone….

I personally don't think there's much to gain here... seems from your story that she was disrespecting you and honestly by staying there while she ignored you, you disrespected yourself too.

Best possible course of action, in my opinion, would have been to say "Thanks for your time, but it seems you're obviously busy" and leave with/without her (depending on how big you consider the severity of this).
No need to reprimand or attack her, simply stop investing in the interaction and that will be enough of a pattern interrupt for her to realize her faux-pas.

Q3) Should I reengage in the future or better to save face? Chase Amante had articles about reapproaching women that rejected you harshly

Did you end up on a high note? Do you think you got a chance?

No point in reapproaching if you think you can't succeed.
Forget about saving face, what do you think she thinks of you?

Most important question. I want to get rid of the feeling INSIDE MYHEAD that I am creepy and awkward, Especially that I go out alone.

That one will only go away with enough experience.

You need to feel that creepines in you because you are lacking social skills and are still learning what's creepy and what's not... it sucks... but the only way to have social skills is building references.
Don't sweat, we all go through that phase.

Edit 2: If someone knows good movies on how to deal with a strong rebuffs like such or someone turiåning around an extremely rude or dismissive woman pleas esuggest?

Last edited: Today at 5:07 PM

This is specifically about kissing but I guess it can help you respond to women's rebuffals.

3 Legendary Movie Manhandle Kisses to Model Your Kisses After

3 classic manhandle movie kisses that made women melt on-screen and in the audience. Plus, the breakdowns for how to kiss women the way these men did. Eight years ago we introduced manhandle kisses, those magical, manly kisses that turn a resistant or hesitant woman to one who melts into you...

www.girlschase.com

 

[mist]

Meet more women. Learn from this and since it's a small town build preselection and flaunt it.

She doesn't matter. You made a move and it came off creepy this time.

Being a creep isn't ideal, but you'll have to accept the risk if you want to break out of her boyfriend and or male orbiter frame.

Embrace the creep for even he gets more action than the nice guy and with proper work he can become cool. This isn't even to mention how sometimes you'll just creep women out by stating you want to dick em in any way shape or form and other times they'll be down.

Do you want to meet the ones who are down? I hope so. I know I do.

We're both beginners so it's better for us to go for women with higher buying temps than negative temps since we need to develop. If we're ever given another chance with women we "lost" we'll have the skills and attitude to go hard or go home.

Rather than do the same dumb shit ALL. THE. TIME.

And if we don't get that special chance with women we've "lost", can we really complain?

We've met scores of women, and if you're going hard, fucked and shared special moments with as well.

I think that's better than going in circles in your head about one girl.

Do you? I hope so.

Nothing she does will truly capture your soul or value. As these things fluctuate (hopefully upward, but not always. Tough) and before and after her regardless of what happens you're mostly the same person if not better since you took action and got feedback.

She's not special.
Nor are you.
Nor am I.
Nothing matters.
Get laid my friend.

Stop deluding yourself into believing this is deeper than sex before you even fuck her. You'll get closer to her and your own core by three things

1. Sex
2. Time
3. General Knowledge Of Women and Interactions

Before sex you don't really have time in most cases, without sex there's plenty reason for both you and her not to be open or real, and focusing on one woman distracts you from becoming better and a guy who can One Shot One Kill.

One data point vs one hundred. What's telling you more?

Don't waste time like I have psychoanalyzing women before you've even gotten your count up and instincts high enough to pull the trigger when it counts.

I just taled to a friend on the phone and he told me he happens to know her well, he said she has close to 2000 instagram followers, with an insane number of men attracted to her so he told me why do you even bother with a woman as such and is considered a beauty pagant in Finalnd (I knew nothing of such since I dont have instagram and I dont use it)

You'll get these 2000 follower count women eventually ( That's small ass number anyway. I'll bet a lot of them are inactive. Goddamn kids have that many followers now. Hell my grandma has more lol) for now jerk off to the pics if you please, but just know you're not going to get her with your current approach.

Sidnote: Your friend is partially right, but obsessed with her other suitors which if you become quality, she's sexually available, and you move fast af with leadership in spades.... might not matter as much.

You might have to settle with the cute girl with 200 followers, the average looking girl who has no insta, or if you can stomach it, the troll who wants your dick imminently.

Hell I'm really considering troll hunting myself just to develop these traits. Might get some funny stories as well.

Also she's not fucking every guy attracted to her, who gets her number, chases her, makes out with her, hell even the guys that isolate and escalate her aren't all getting laid by her. Take yourself for example of this fact. ( I'll be fair and say this is pretty general. I don't know her.)

If your goal is moreso seeking a girlfriend, validation, or avoiding rejection you're going to be pretty frustrated with your current level and thought process my friend. I can't change your heart's desires.

No one can.

Just commenting on what I think as a plateaued beginner.

Anyway I've been writing too long and I'm not trying to be an internet expert.

I'm trying to get my dick wet just like you.

Peace.

 

[ulrich]

If you mean it will be a problem if you ever stumble into her, don’t worry about much.

Worst possible scenario is you made a fool of yourself with her and her friends.
She wins nothing by putting you down with jokes and mockery… even if it hurts you, it makes her look bad and she probably won’t do.

Most likely scenario is now it will be akward to meet her… but hey, with enough experience you will learn to defuse akward situations.
No need to worry, better to practice social skills and be prepared.

 

[mist]

My question because I dont want to make a fool of myself and appear like an idiot who doesnt take NO for an answer, was that a situation were you just exit gracefully FOREVER or could your persist a bit and be calm and not be fazed by her dissmissive attitude (very advanced game) by her or leave her and reapproach later (Semi advanced game)?

Oh this I can answer.

This was social circle just like you.

Meet more women. Learn from this and since it's a small town build preselection and flaunt it.

I presented very high value and remained very cool and then I did a pretty big thing at school that boosted my preselection, value, and had a built in way of showcasing that.

Here's the result with women who I was basically in the same situation as you with:

1. A wannabe model started chasing and eye fucking me after she previously flaked me. We set a date at her place, but it fell through due to the pandemic and me not moving just a bit faster.

Believing I had time. Turns out I didn't even have a day. Funny thing is she was readily available and eager the night I flaked her. She even showed up to where I was since I actually had to flake her sat patiently with googoo eyes while I rocked the room. Oh she was so hot. KFC finger licking good levels of hot. Oh well. You live and you learn

2. A indie artist with a killer bod and out-of-state boyfriend went out with me and attempted to isolate me quite a bit. She was chasing hard after I couldn't even get a handshake from her when we met. It fell through because she was first degree social circle and I couldn't bring myself to escalate a girl with a boyfriend. I'm so nice. Yay me...

3. A girl who was on the verge of auto rejecting (in retrospect) and was trying to run jealousy plots, flat out cornered me to isolate her in my place after I avoided her cordially.

Well I did sort of blow up at her like right before she cornered me. When she mentioned to me that I was not talking to her. The jealousy plot made me leave her. I even encouraged them to hook up before leaving. I'm not second choice nor am I a boyfriend were my feelings. ( I was mad at myself for not escalating her on our first hangout. I felt like I planted myself as her boyfriend and I made a small motion to hangout again, but she was slightly flighty.)

I replied
" We're talking now. What do you have to say besides we haven't talked?"

She was stunned. Tried to keep investing in our talk but then I preceded to confuse her with other women I met and turn up my fuckboy. I'm frankly ashamed I power trip so hard. It's unnecessary and causes more problems. Anyway after that and back to the moment at hand for this example

I said my place was dirty and she was like I don't care with some of the most primal eye contact I've ever received. My friends were present and were in awe and trying to tell me take her with us. It fell through because my pride was WAY too high and jealousy plots are a trigger for making me manic and mean spirited. Yikes. Sorry horny girl. I was horny too, just not focused on getting laid.

She went cold af after this but for small moments she'd get that same look in her eyes with me.

She'll still to this day approach me though and make eyes. I'm keeping my distance. Too much ego involved, she's 1st degree circle x10, I'm meeting other women. Not worth it to revisit such negative precedence and the frame would make it hard for me to be able to really whip out my lover qualities sense it'll be on her terms which won't get me laid quickly or in a manner my ego can stomach.

Anyway as you've said

I think the issue is for that PARTICULAR woman I am quite attainable, she KNOWS I have a little soft spot for her and she knows I like her a bit more.

Pump your value, sexual edge, and just be cool with her. Work on other things become a man a lot of women would say YES to then be bait and you might just find her chasing.

Here's hoping you'll be able to capitalize on it.

We have some work to do though. So we don't have to hope as much.

We'll have a process and lots of women to use it with.

In closing, I hope this added some value and insight into why I wrote what I wrote before and answers your question. I am not perfect. I can think of a number of women I thought of as special. If you can't tell girl number 3 is/was a girl who held this title.

So many things have happened now that I feel very little about her or that moment. I still would love to fuck her don't get me wrong, but we're both good.

This same thing can happen to you too even though you can't emotionally believe it right now. Nor could I.

Just being ok.

Doing your thing.

Nothing matters.

Peace.

 

[Fuck This]

Rudeness is an automatic NEXT. If she is not giving you High IL right off the bat, how do you think it will be down the line?
Have a little self respect and don't tolerate here Mercurial crap. MOVE ON...

 

[POB]

Edit: I just taled to a friend on the phone and he told me he happens to know her well, he said she has close to 2000 instagram followers, with an insane number of men attracted to her so he told me why do you even bother with a woman as such and is considered a beauty pagant in Finalnd (I knew nothing of such since I dont have instagram and I dont use it)

My main has +60k followers on IG and her dancing videos have +2mi views (each) on tik tok.
Do you think I care?

Fuck social media, it's the simp paradise of attention whoring and fake social life.
As a man you should not care about it (unless you are using it for biz).

The main way to "break it" on girls is simple: do not give a fuck.
She is a model? Who cares?
She is social media famous? Whatever.
She has 100k simps droolling over her evry day? Good for her.

Be the guy that is different and is focused on improving and being a better seducer and a great man.
If she dismisses you because of it, she was just using you for validation.
Do what the guys said: politely excuse yourself from this situation and focus on other women.

She knows am attracted to her it is not a secret

Then don't be.
Let time pass and get that initial mistery back.
Improve, get good with women.
I forgot how many times I was dissed by a girl who later, when I was older and way better, got back into my life trying to have something with me.

 

[abond0082]

My main has +60k followers on IG and her dancing videos have +2mi views (each) on tik tok.
Do you think I care?

Fuck social media, it's the simp paradise of attention whoring and fake social life.
As a man you should not care about it (unless you are using it for biz).

The main way to "break it" on girls is simple: do not give a fuck.
She is a model? Who cares?
She is social media famous? Whatever.
She has 100k simps droolling over her evry day? Good for her.

Be the guy that is different and is focused on improving and being a better seducer and a great man.
If she dismisses you because of it, she was just using you for validation.
Do what the guys said: politely excuse yourself from this situation and focus on other women.



Then don't be.
Let time pass and get that initial mistery back.
Improve, get good with women.
I forgot how many times I was dissed by a girl who later, when I was older and way better, got back into my life trying to have something with me.

I disagree fully with him, I dont believe in this bullshit number system

There is no human ten though ofcourse objectively speaking she is Physical a stunner but I dont believe she is above me in any fing way or anyone and we initially had very good interaction. Last year the main reason I dodnt make a move on her is that I was uncomfortable with the fact that she is 19 years old but it was very positive she DID like me So did her friend By the way. I geniunely find her attractive, I dont care one bit about impressing men or my male friends or anybody pffff. I just desired her full stop.

An other friend told me that she is attractive but not all that(which proves attraction is very subjective) and told me if we are going to believe in bullshit ’you being out of her league’ is closer to the truth than vice versa which I agree not that I am above her but no one is better than anyone else. I definetly dont believe she better than me in anyways or vice versa.

I love both my friends though they are great.

And thanks man

I plan to move on, wish her good and see where life drops us

I was more angry that I got phased by her closed body language that I didnt fully say what I wanted to say and I also dont know if this is a situation I could persist just a little for 2-3 minutes or not?

 

[abond0082]

Rudeness is an automatic NEXT. If she is not giving you High IL right off the bat, how do you think it will be down the line?
Have a little self respect and don't tolerate here Mercurial crap. MOVE ON...

I think you didnt understand, am not trying to change her mind and even Chase has articles about that.

There situation where the initial coldness and dissmissivness is reactionary and automatic and if you confidently hold your ground it can make a woman become very receptive and I have seen it multitude of times.

However, it can also mean you are an idiot who dont take a no and for an answer and dont recognize rejection, so I took the L apologized to her for constantly hitting on her and ignored her(Not at all easy) the entire night.


As mentioned hundred times I am FAR more ANGRY about being FAZED by her reaction, having weak delivery and being apologetic and having negative thoughts and feeling like a creep. I am attracted to this woman, there is no reason for me not to OWN it 100% And say what I wanted to say confidently. After that if she is not interested, than I wish her all good and move on.


IN MY DEFENSE, about a weak ago I saw her walking down the streets with her friends and our eyes came across and SHE SMILED AT ME. I didnt smile at her me, she DiD smile at me.

 

[abond0082]

Then don't be.
Let time pass and get that initial mistery back.
Improve, get good with women.
I forgot how many times I was dissed by a girl who later, when I was older and way better, got back into my life trying to have something with me.

That is good advice

Everything is possible and I have seen that happen to me at times naturally

I ll just let nature take its course.

As from the moment forward, I will just wish her health and good in her future endevours.

 

[Rain]

I forgot how many times I was dissed by a girl who later, when I was older and way better, got back into my life trying to have something with me.

By dissed, do you mean rejected from cold approach but saw each other again at the same supermarket as both of you are customers there?
Or did you have each others contact details already?

How much time passed between the rejection and them trying to get back with you?

 

[Starboy]

My main has +60k followers on IG and her dancing videos have +2mi views (each) on tik tok.
Do you think I care?

Fuck social media, it's the simp paradise of attention whoring and fake social life.
As a man you should not care about it (unless you are using it for biz).

The main way to "break it" on girls is simple: do not give a fuck.
She is a model? Who cares?
She is social media famous? Whatever.
She has 100k simps droolling over her evry day? Good for her.

@POB I'm curious where do you draw the line with dating a influencer assuming you're monagamous with each other? If she had a onlyfans would you feel the need to say something or is that something you also personally do not care about? Would the content of what she posts matter say if they're just pics of her feet or her in underwear.