When you go out to a museum, a touristy site, clubs, or whatever, is it off-putting if you wander away from the group?

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

So this is something I've noticed from my previous dates or socializing with group in general. When I go out to a museum, club, or even a mall, I have a habit of separating from the group to do my own thing for a little bit.

Here are a few examples.


Location 1: Starbucks
Girls: I thought we lost you! Where were you?
Me: Oh, I went to the bathroom real quick.

Location 2: Art Gallery
Girls: Staring at some artwork and talking amongst themselves about that I'm not really interested in.
Me: I just walk off a bit to stare at another art work that I'm interested in.
Girls: Oh, there you are. We lost you again.

Another social circle: At a club
Me: Going off to talk to some girls by myself while the group stays talking bout some shit idc bout and drinking
Me: Talk to girls and comeback
Group: Oh there he is! Wandering around like usual huh. (Leads to some passive aggressive comments from the group members)

Shit like that.

Basically, it's something I do out of habit. If I'm in a social moment that doesn't interest me, I just do whatever does interest me. I remember in the movie Hitch, the coach tells the client if you go to an art gallery, don't follow her around like a puppy or something. It's just like that except I do this out of my own habit.

At first I kind of thought of it as nothing, but I've noticed those comments from people I hang out with. It seems little but the more I do it, maybe there's more impact it creates if I do it repeatedly while I'm with em.

Anyone have any perspectives on whether this is negative or positive?

General rule for me is anything that's negative and small doesn't matter as long as my other areas are great: Such as fundamentals, conversations, etc. But as a perfectionist, I would like to know if this is a bad habit or a good one if at all.

 

[ulrich]

It’s one of those things that you need to balance.

Wandering around can give people the impression that you don’t care about the group and you are more concerned about what is happening elsewhere.

It’s not bad per se but too much of it and you will be perceived as aloof and out-group (this guy is not like us).
I would say:
1) Try to strike the right balance.
2) Involve some people of the group into your wandering if possible.
3) Give the group an inside of your mind so they know why you’re wandering (make yourself relatable).

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

It’s one of those things that you need to balance.

Wandering around can give people the impression that you don’t care about the group and you are more concerned about what is happening elsewhere.

It’s not bad per se but too much of it and you will be perceived as aloof and out-group (this guy is not like us).
I would say:
1) Try to strike the right balance.
2) Involve some people of the group into your wandering if possible.
3) Give the group an inside of your mind so they know why you’re wandering (make yourself relatable).

Awesome, thanks Uriel!