The above isn't as nicely organized and formatted as I would like, cause it's an off the cuff answer.
That in mind, fixing your "vibe" in set is difficult. If you come at the chick high energy and full of jokes, and the chick despite her visuals, is actually a bit of an academic type, it can be difficult to reach her when she makes a rash decision. Not impossible, as this is the game, but you're giving yourself an obstacle that you can avoid.
Regular guys like to say, "Let's start over" or "I was just playing/messing around"
These are things i like to say to calibrate later in the set, but if the first 5 minutes is Mr. Hyde, I don't want to go back to Dr Jekyll.
Fixing your vibe before the night starts? A good hack for that is your pre-game ritual.
For me, my style of game is intrigue (Why did he say that, why did he react that way, what does he know, what does he think, what does he think about me). Other guys have a more fun and jokes vibe. Other guys want to exude sex. These are all personal decisions. I personally don't think any is better than any other.
My style screen out girls that I want. It will screen in girls that I don't want.
Whatever type of game you pick, there are
tradeoffs. The tradeoff I'm not willing to make is my own peace of mind. I prefer to be
mostly consistent with my life, rather than be
over flexible. And that's from experience of trying to get with every girl I came across. Often times, the squeeze wasn't worth the juice.
That said, to get the vibe, I have a ritual
- Put on some music that I like (clubs these days play stuff I don't like)
- Shower and groom myself
- Lay out the clothes, Look at the cologne, Enjoy the process of getting ready
- Quick run down of my logistics - How I'm gonna get there, where I'm going, what I going to do, plan B, and escape plans when I make the connection
That gets me ready. This isn't new tech at all. Richard Gere does this in the Gigolo, and I think any competent PUA guide talks about this. I mention it because you're asking about how to fix your nonverbal communication/your broadcast signal. This is a way to do it.
Any type of ritual will give you a quick fix for any given night.
And using ritual is common in human culture.
- Skateboarders like to watch skate videos before they go out
- Basketball players will watch highlights.
- Maybe you have a youtube playlist of Hank Moody and Craig Ferguson.
Doing these things before you go out, maybe on a regular basis, allows you to get into the vibe you want to be in. It helps you perform as you consciously and unconsciously and subconsciously model what you see.
These are short term fixes, but the long terms stuff is above.
And one last thing, you don't have to "fix" your vibe, per se.
Don't Change.
Pick up, seduction, Game - all of these are means to an end. We engage in behaviors to attract, build trust, and ultimately hook up with girls. And depending on her performance, personality, and behavior, we decide to keep her in our lives.
We can get to this end goal, of getting and keeping the girl in our lives, via screening rather than changing our behavior to facilitate this. And given how fickle girls as a population, much less any particular woman, not changing your vibe is an attractive option.
Or put more simply, you can be the nice guy/boring boyfriend type, step up to women, give them a shot, and then dismiss them for not meeting
your behavioral standards. You know your value, and you don't like her vibe.
So if I come at broad, straight up, and realize she's a bird - i'll dismiss her and not care that I didn't get sample her attention. This is not false disqualification to build attraction, or as a test to see if she's cooperating. If the chick smokes cigarettes, it's over. I'm NOT interested in attracting her. Go smell up someone else's sheets.
In some cases, a notable minority, playing "hardball" will actually get the girl to change her behavior to get your attention. But
hardball is not a reliable tactic to get attraction or convert, not these days when women have plenty of more appealing options. So don't use hardball as some sort of tactic to pull the girl.
For me to be dismissive, I need to be okay with taking a loss (missing out on a great girl, or great sex), I need to be okay with having boundaries, and most of all I need to talk to a lot of women.
A man needs literal abundance of women in his life. Like his education, work, or hobby life is full of attractive women, and he has the social dynamics working in his favor.
For guys that spend a lot of time alone, or at work, this is a bad strategy. It's like me boycotting Ferrari. I'm not even on Ferrari's radar. Now if I was an Arab Sheikh....
Guys that say they have this sort of "love me or leave me alone" stance, usually do not back it up with the necessary action.
- They aren't meeting women.
- They let the few women that don't meet their standards into their lives.
- They change a bit in order to accommodate the girl.
- And worst of all, they don't dismiss when the woman breaks their standards.
They say one thing, but are too scared or too lazy to actually make that a reality.
So keep this stuff in mind when you're dealing with girls and guys that want to "change" you.
It's one thing when you are playing the role that society wants you to play. When you are stifling yourself. Sometimes there's a wolf inside of you that you want to let out.
It's another thing, If you are being yourself, and you want to change for you. You want to be someone else. The boy becomes the man.
And then there are guys that want to change for something external. And that's fine too. I need to be assertive here, because there's this thing i want more.
But don't let anyone force you into changing. It has to be a proactive choice.
Otherwise, guys find themselves reacting and losing sight over the end goal.
At the gig, we were talking about our names and nicknames. What our parents called us, and what our friends call us. The focus turned to a cat that I liked and respected. He said he CHOSE his name. He went to the court house and picked the name that he wanted to call himself, not what others decided for him.
Had me online looking up name changes. But I like Archie, lol
WIA
