Where are the attractive women "in real life"?

[ph40]

So I've been a pretty steady reader of Chase's content, I also subscribed to his Chase Girls course and watched the course content. I'm not really an aspiring PUA; I'm older (38) and mostly satisfied with LTRs and not just trying to sleep with a lot of women. I joined this community because I respect Chase's content and find it very informative, and do want to "date up" in my own life and hope to apply these principles to finding higher quality women.

So, one of the things that Chase harps on is the lack of quality on dating apps vs. "in real life". At this point, it's kind of hard to distinguish where "real life" begins and where it ends when everyone is glued to a screen for most of the day even when they're outdoors. Myself, I live in Eastern PA close to the Philadelphia area, in the suburbs. Yes, it's not California, but it's not "middle of nowhere" either. If I try to find women "in real life", which I assume means in coffee shops, grocery stores, in transit, at malls, etc, I will see maybe, *maybe* 1-2 that meet my standards in any given day, if I visit quite a few locations. Often I will see zero the entire day.

If I take a trip to New York City, and spend the entire day wandering the streets, visiting stores, taking Ubers around, getting a hotel room, visiting a bar or two, I will see a higher percentage of attractive women, but... again, maybe 3-4, at most. In NYC. And of those 3-4, most are probably in a relationship, or otherwise unavailable, or very busy and really don't want to talk, or simply not going to click with me for whatever reason.

So, meeting women "in real life" seems like a massive waste of time when attractive women just... don't manifest themselves "in real life". The most attractive women I've slept with and had relationships with... I met them ALL online. Some lived in Philly and some lived in NYC. I'm sure they went outside of their apartments at some point but trying to align your presence with the presence of a woman you're attracted to... by chance... in "real life" seems awfully low-percentage when instead, you can find one online that meets your attractiveness standard, and align your values/interests/personality with hers to see if you "match".

Listen, I appreciate the tactics and the information Chase provides, and I think it's worthwhile subscribing for that alone, and some of the more "philosophical" big picture stuff like "Mouse Utopia" and how it applies to the modern dating atmosphere is absolutely *brilliant*. But the emphasis on meeting in-person and using tactics "on the street" seems like a losing battle in this day and age... unless I'm missing something.

 

[Bismarck]

Only seeing 3-4 girls you’d like to smash in a full day spent in NYC means you’re either not hitting the right spots (i.e., the more densely populated areas) or your standards are unrealistic.

It all depends on location.

Let me give you an example: yesterday, when I left my studio to walk to the office at 9:15am, on my street, as I walked out my front door, I saw, in rapid succession (as in, walked by) half a dozen SHBs. (This means super-hot girls, i.e., gorgeous gals).

So yeah, the ‘burbs don’t cut it.

By contrast, my online experience has been traumatic. I only matched with girls I wouldn’t touch in real life.

It’s unfair on them though, since not everybody is photogenic and online bases everything on photos. This means that a girl you might have strong sexual state transferral with, and feel attracted to due to mutual pheromones or whatever, will pass you by entirely if you’re “swiping.”

Also, call me old fashioned but I like the narrative of how you meet her. And on that front online is also bland.

 

[Will_V]

So I've been a pretty steady reader of Chase's content, I also subscribed to his Chase Girls course and watched the course content. I'm not really an aspiring PUA; I'm older (38) and mostly satisfied with LTRs and not just trying to sleep with a lot of women. I joined this community because I respect Chase's content and find it very informative, and do want to "date up" in my own life and hope to apply these principles to finding higher quality women.

So, one of the things that Chase harps on is the lack of quality on dating apps vs. "in real life". At this point, it's kind of hard to distinguish where "real life" begins and where it ends when everyone is glued to a screen for most of the day even when they're outdoors. Myself, I live in Eastern PA close to the Philadelphia area, in the suburbs. Yes, it's not California, but it's not "middle of nowhere" either. If I try to find women "in real life", which I assume means in coffee shops, grocery stores, in transit, at malls, etc, I will see maybe, *maybe* 1-2 that meet my standards in any given day, if I visit quite a few locations. Often I will see zero the entire day.

If I take a trip to New York City, and spend the entire day wandering the streets, visiting stores, taking Ubers around, getting a hotel room, visiting a bar or two, I will see a higher percentage of attractive women, but... again, maybe 3-4, at most. In NYC. And of those 3-4, most are probably in a relationship, or otherwise unavailable, or very busy and really don't want to talk, or simply not going to click with me for whatever reason.

So, meeting women "in real life" seems like a massive waste of time when attractive women just... don't manifest themselves "in real life". The most attractive women I've slept with and had relationships with... I met them ALL online. Some lived in Philly and some lived in NYC. I'm sure they went outside of their apartments at some point but trying to align your presence with the presence of a woman you're attracted to... by chance... in "real life" seems awfully low-percentage when instead, you can find one online that meets your attractiveness standard, and align your values/interests/personality with hers to see if you "match".

Listen, I appreciate the tactics and the information Chase provides, and I think it's worthwhile subscribing for that alone, and some of the more "philosophical" big picture stuff like "Mouse Utopia" and how it applies to the modern dating atmosphere is absolutely *brilliant*. But the emphasis on meeting in-person and using tactics "on the street" seems like a losing battle in this day and age... unless I'm missing something.

I've never been on a dating app so I can't say for sure but - are you sure you don't have some kind of confirmation bias?

Let's say you see 100 women a day, and 3 are hot enough. so you're aiming already for the 97th percentile of women. Are you really telling me you can reliably get that level of quality on Tinder? It seems hard to believe that women who are at this level would even bother with dating apps at all (again, I don't know, but why would they need to?) let alone be available consistently.

Another thing, hot women (like rich people) don't tend to be found in random places, but congregate in particular environments. For example, I have a coworking office and it's next door to a corporate office that for some reason has half a dozen women who are exceptionally hot. Is that coincidence? Probably not. I could walk around for hours and not see a woman of that caliber on her own, but in that office they are all there together.

I don't know if there's a particular rule for finding where hot women are, but I would suggest paying attention and noting down the environments where you do happen to see them, so you can narrow things down.

 

[ulrich]

Yeah, location is a big one.
It’s not about random walking… but finding the right places.

I live in a somewhat big city and I’ve found the best places for me to be:
- Trendy malls
- Starbucks in specific neighborhoods
- Big chain clothe stores like H&M and Zara

If I go walk downtown, I will rarely find the girls I like.
And still, when I go to the places where it works, I will only see a “perfect 10” every two or three days… it doesn’t sound like much but hey, you only need a couple of those a month.

 

[Bismarck]

I should add, that my street has a college campus (actually, 2 are within 1 min walking distance), and the shopping uriel just referred to is like 15 mins walk away.

Close to all the action basically. If you live near touristy attractions/shops/colleges/CBD, you’re bound to see top tail in droves.

The challenge then becomes, how best to go about approaching and securing digits/etc. all the way to intimacy with said babes. Thinking in sheer numbers if you have a 1/20 ratio and you only shoot for crême de la crême, you’ll still snag some top-shelf ass.

 

[Vision]

So I've been a pretty steady reader of Chase's content, I also subscribed to his Chase Girls course and watched the course content. I'm not really an aspiring PUA; I'm older (38) and mostly satisfied with LTRs and not just trying to sleep with a lot of women. I joined this community because I respect Chase's content and find it very informative, and do want to "date up" in my own life and hope to apply these principles to finding higher quality women.

Good on you man!

So, one of the things that Chase harps on is the lack of quality on dating apps vs. "in real life". At this point, it's kind of hard to distinguish where "real life" begins and where it ends when everyone is glued to a screen for most of the day even when they're outdoors.

Most people are starving for a real connection right now... but at the same time afraid of it.

Myself, I live in Eastern PA close to the Philadelphia area, in the suburbs. Yes, it's not California, but it's not "middle of nowhere" either. If I try to find women "in real life", which I assume means in coffee shops, grocery stores, in transit, at malls, etc, I will see maybe, *maybe* 1-2 that meet my standards in any given day, if I visit quite a few locations. Often I will see zero the entire day.

Yeah, I mean, PA isn't known for hot girls.

If I take a trip to New York City, and spend the entire day wandering the streets, visiting stores, taking Ubers around, getting a hotel room, visiting a bar or two, I will see a higher percentage of attractive women, but... again, maybe 3-4, at most. In NYC. And of those 3-4, most are probably in a relationship, or otherwise unavailable, or very busy and really don't want to talk, or simply not going to click with me for whatever reason.

Is this a report of something you did or a reflection of how you feel about it?

Those are often different... I've noticed that when I start lumping things together, it's usually a reflection of my own laziness and unwillingness to do the work that needs to be done rather than a reflection of reality.

So, meeting women "in real life" seems like a massive waste of time when attractive women just... don't manifest themselves "in real life". The most attractive women I've slept with and had relationships with... I met them ALL online.

And they met your standards and the girls you've seen around NYC didn't?

I've dated and been in relationships (mostly short ones) with quite a few women that I met online/apps... 100% of the time, I'm either sacrificing looks or they're batshit crazy... so if they're not as attractive, they're alright... if they're really hot, they're trying to burn my house down and wear my body as a skinsuit (this is jokes, btw).

Is that your experience too? Am I the only one that this happens with?

Some lived in Philly and some lived in NYC. I'm sure they went outside of their apartments at some point but trying to align your presence with the presence of a woman you're attracted to... by chance... in "real life" seems awfully low-percentage when instead, you can find one online that meets your attractiveness standard, and align your values/interests/personality with hers to see if you "match".

Well, dude, if it's working for you online, do online.

Listen, I appreciate the tactics and the information Chase provides, and I think it's worthwhile subscribing for that alone, and some of the more "philosophical" big picture stuff like "Mouse Utopia" and how it applies to the modern dating atmosphere is absolutely *brilliant*. But the emphasis on meeting in-person and using tactics "on the street" seems like a losing battle in this day and age... unless I'm missing something.

Dude, if you're meeting smoking hot women online who align with your values and interests, why would you even worry about doing anything else?

I stopped doing online because all of the girls I met there were mediocre or they're some American Psycho, wacked out chick planning to murder you in your sleep type of crazy... I'm highly impressed that you meet hot girls online that meet your standards, have your values, and your interests are aligned.

You should teach a course on that.

I'm a little bit blown away that you say you never meet hot girls walking around New York though. Are you sure that's not you just discounting them to give yourself reason to discount daytime approaches?

 

[DonGately]

There's tons of hot girls in Philly, doubly so with college back in session. The other week I was out in Rittenhouse for a few hours, and I probably spotted around ~100, no joke. They're young, fit, and bored with college guys that don't know what to do with them anyway. Some of the hot girls I've picked up in the park hadn't had sex for 6-12 months or more, just a vibrator.

Yeah, you have to be in the right location. But there's easily dozens of hot girls you would see at one of the big malls on a given weekend: Zara, H&M, Starbucks, LVMH, Athleta, Lulu, Nordstrom, Sephora, Vicky's, in the food court, getting ice cream or boba.

Saying you only say 3-4 HBs in NYC in a day is utterly insane, having lived there for 10+ years. If you just walk around Manhattan in daytime you'll see 30-50+, and then hit the bars at night double that if you bounce around a few places.

Museums in Philly/NYC are very underrated places to pick up HBs, it's one of my secrets.

If they're stuck in their little digital world, your job is to take them out of it. You do that, you're halfway to some sort of relationship with them if that's your/their goal. Maybe they just want sex, who knows?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Some of the hot girls I've picked up in the park hadn't had sex for 6-12 months or more, just a vibrator.

I have said this. I have made a post on this. Gen Z will suffer the worse of worse.

Sidenote:
It's a game of chicken.
No one knows what's going on.
VALUE ASS-essing on a whole global level.
Guys who are on Girlschase, at least have the chance to see past this veil and try to navigate the dating landscape.

It's scary how guys thinks that girls live in different worlds and girls think the same way.

what the hell is going on...

z@c+

 

[Tr1cky]

I agree, that is not believable to say you only see “3 or 4” women you are attracted to in NYC. Ive sat at a pizza place at 5pm and seen 20 very attractive women walk by over the course of 15 minutes.

but even so 3 to 4 is more than enough. Up your game. Even if you close 1 in 20 you will have a new chick in your life every week.

 

[Coast]

Yeah, location is a big one.
It’s not about random walking… but finding the right places.

I live in a somewhat big city and I’ve found the best places for me to be:
- Trendy malls
- Starbucks in specific neighborhoods
- Big chain clothe stores like H&M and Zara

If I go walk downtown, I will rarely find the girls I like.
And still, when I go to the places where it works, I will only see a “perfect 10” every two or three days… it doesn’t sound like much but hey, you only need a couple of those a month.

At what time of day do you go to those places, uriel?

 

[Coast]

I should add, that my street has a college campus (actually, 2 are within 1 min walking distance), and the shopping uriel just referred to is like 15 mins walk away.

Close to all the action basically. If you live near touristy attractions/shops/colleges/CBD, you’re bound to see top tail in droves.

The challenge then becomes, how best to go about approaching and securing digits/etc. all the way to intimacy with said babes. Thinking in sheer numbers if you have a 1/20 ratio and you only shoot for crême de la crême, you’ll still snag some top-shelf ass.

That is a rare location to live Bismarck, where are you located?

 

[ulrich]

At what time of day do you go to those places, uriel?

Depends on the day.

Usually on Wednesdays and Thursdays after 5:00 PM where girls just out of the office go look for a new outfit.

Fridays all day after 2:00 PM (that’s lunch time in Mexico).

Saturdays and Sundays it’s all day but malls usually turn more family-friendly on weekends so I stumble a lot into 16-20 years girls.
At 35 that’s no go for me LOL

 

[ph40]

There's tons of hot girls in Philly, doubly so with college back in session. The other week I was out in Rittenhouse for a few hours, and I probably spotted around ~100, no joke. They're young, fit, and bored with college guys that don't know what to do with them anyway. Some of the hot girls I've picked up in the park hadn't had sex for 6-12 months or more, just a vibrator.

Yeah, you have to be in the right location. But there's easily dozens of hot girls you would see at one of the big malls on a given weekend: Zara, H&M, Starbucks, LVMH, Athleta, Lulu, Nordstrom, Sephora, Vicky's, in the food court, getting ice cream or boba.

Saying you only say 3-4 HBs in NYC in a day is utterly insane, having lived there for 10+ years. If you just walk around Manhattan in daytime you'll see 30-50+, and then hit the bars at night double that if you bounce around a few places.

Museums in Philly/NYC are very underrated places to pick up HBs, it's one of my secrets.

If they're stuck in their little digital world, your job is to take them out of it. You do that, you're halfway to some sort of relationship with them if that's your/their goal. Maybe they just want sex, who knows?

So, I have a certain set of standards for attractiveness too, that maybe some don't have. I can't be attracted to someone under 5'8", for one. So that disqualifies a lot off the bat. For some reason, height is just super important for me to feel attraction. I've never dated or slept with a woman under 5'8", ever! So, I will see a lot of pretty girls who are shorter, but because of the height, I will never want to do anything with them, no matter how pretty or how fit they are.

And I can't stand overweight women, at all. She has to be thin and fit. I've never slept with a woman that was overweight and don't intend to at any time in the future. I can't stand curvy or thick women. She needs to be of optimal body fat percentage or close to it.

These are two hard, draw-a-line-in-the-sand prerequisites that any woman I'm attracted to must meet. I've never compromised on these two and never will in the future.

Don't get me wrong, I'll see shorter fit pretty girls, or taller thicker girls, but the kind I really like? Not that often. In fact, I'd say that Rittenhouse Square / Market Street / downtown Philly is full of these types of girls: ones that are short and pretty, or taller and too curvy/thick.

 

[Skjöldr]

Sidenote:
You guys talk alot about these girls clothing stores as places to pick up. IDK i just feel weird being in there as a dude to pick up girls. Please give me a crash course in girl's clothing store game. I know RSD Tyler Durden said that he would pick some ridiculous item and be like to the girl "Think this looks good on me?". IDK they are just gonna ask you why you are in there, and you better have an excuse.....

 

[DarkKnight]

Sidenote:
You guys talk alot about these girls clothing stores as places to pick up. IDK i just feel weird being in there as a dude to pick up girls. Please give me a crash course in girl's clothing store game. I know RSD Tyler Durden said that he would pick some ridiculous item and be like to the girl "Think this looks good on me?". IDK they are just gonna ask you why you are in there, and you better have an excuse.....

I still didnt really figure it out either... Best I think about is traversing through the female department to the mens department so you have some kind of plausible deniability.

 

[Skjöldr]

I still didnt really figure it out either... Best I think about is traversing through the female department to the mens department so you have some kind of plausible deniability.

I mean specifically the female stores. Ofc something like H&Ms got both male and female clothes.

 

[DarkKnight]

I mean specifically the female stores. Ofc something like H&Ms got both male and female clothes.

Yes I got what you meant. Im still trying to work this kind of game out as I find these to be the best daygame venues in terms of approachable chick volume

 

[ulrich]

I mean specifically the female stores. Ofc something like H&Ms got both male and female clothes.

Well I have sisters and buy them gifts from time to time. That gives me a reason to enter women stores.

I say “hey, you have the same style my sister does. What do you think of this piece?”

In normal days I stick to mixed stores like H&M or wait a little outside of women’s stores.

 

[ulrich]

So, I have a certain set of standards for attractiveness too, that maybe some don't have. I can't be attracted to someone under 5'8", for one. So that disqualifies a lot off the bat. For some reason, height is just super important for me to feel attraction. I've never dated or slept with a woman under 5'8", ever! So, I will see a lot of pretty girls who are shorter, but because of the height, I will never want to do anything with them, no matter how pretty or how fit they are.

Lower Your Standards (and Date Hotter Girls)

In "How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?," Balla asks whether to lower your standards in pursuit of getting the best results with women achievable: “Hey Chase, I can agree with everything you wrote to a T. What I want to ask about is this. You say naturals are better to learn from...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Skjöldr]

Well I have sisters and buy them gifts from time to time. That gives me a reason to enter women stores.

I say “hey, you have the same style my sister does. What do you think of this piece?”

In normal days I stick to mixed stores like H&M or wait a little outside of women’s stores.

boom, that's what i would say too, that i'm looking for a gift for my female family members/friends.