Observations Where I live?

[Eric]

Okay I'm guessing only Chase or Ricadus will be able to answer this one, or speculate..

I'm racking my brain over this, and I don't have the experience / logistics to test this (live with parents) but.. what are the implications of being asked where you live? Is this a really subtle invitation for a pull? I ask this because I have this gut feeling that it may, and it was brought to my attention with the article on when girls show interest (by asking where you live, if you live with parents, etc). Normally I wouldn't think much of it, but looking back I've noticed that I ALWAYS seem to get asked where I live. It's one of the first questions I get asked. Not often by men, but women.

An anecdotal example story:

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I was on my way leaving the mall. I had only opened one girl previously that day; The scenario for that was perfect. I was passing her and someone walked infront of us. We noticed each other, I let out a "hey" but I had one of those weird/rarish moments where your voice cracks from being dry and that shook me up. Gave her my number instead of doing an exchange for coffee, wasn't too interested in continuing any further minglings with her. Anyways, I had to go to class, so while leaving I saw a polite smile from a worker. Fingered her over and asked if she was single. Told her I was in a hurry, but we should go to coffee.

Her: "Maybe.."
Me: "Hah, that's a yes."

This all happens in about a minutes time.. we exchange info and I'm off.

First question she asks is who I am (I tell her I'm just a normal guy), second question she asks me over text is where I live. I turn this around on her by suggesting picking up some ice cream for her place, and she mentions that she lives at home (as in with parents). We decide meet up for coffee instead after I get out of class (2-3 hours later), and we ended up going straight out to her car after buying drinks. We chilled there for a bit and started making out on top. She forced her head into mine and quickly wanted to throw her tongue down my throat.. I fucked this one up because I'm not used to pulling that quickly, and it was ON.. I needed to pull her into the car so we could get down to business, but there was a moments hesitation. The pull window is indeed fleeting when you move this quickly; It's quite hard to live up to expectations.. she decided that it was late and she should get going. I didn't object to this, and should have but I digress..

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Is this there anything to this? I want to try pulling within a few minutes of being asked where I live, but I don't have the best logistics.. A lot of my age group seems to live at home (early 20s), and I don't have an apartment yet. Turning it around on her seems very awkward..

 

[Chase]

Hey omgosh,

It depends on the context. If there's a lot of sexual tension and she asks where you live - even immediately into meeting her - it often means you should pull, now. But not always. If you're not sure though, and there's tension in the air, opt for the pull. You can always go back to talking if she declines.

If it's while setting up a date, it can sometimes be because she wants to go to your place - other times, it can be because she's trying to calculate the best date location that's halfway between where you live and where she does (or see if you're close to her and she can propose her favorite place). Again, go by context - see what the interaction's been like between her and you thus far, and where it feels like it's heading. If you think she wants to come to your place, just propose she do, or if that's too obvious for the situation, ask her to swing by your place first and then you'll head out (then just see if you can escalate and NOT head out when she gets there).

Cheers,
Chase

 

[Marty]

Bumping this as it's interesting. I get asked this all the time on dates and even in cold approach, sometimes by women who then proceed to decline a coffee date on grounds of an existing relationship (I had it the day before yesterday in the grocery store—I didn't even ask her where she lived, but she asked me, and when I suggested a coffee: "I don't mean to mislead you or anything, but I do have a boyfriend, we've been together four years, but I really reeeeally appreciate you coming up to me... thank you..."—what the fuck was all that about?). Something to ponder... not sure where to take it in practical terms.

 

[Chase]

Marty,

Bumping this as it's interesting. I get asked this all the time on dates and even in cold approach, sometimes by women who then proceed to decline a coffee date on grounds of an existing relationship (I had it the day before yesterday in the grocery store—I didn't even ask her where she lived, but she asked me, and when I suggested a coffee: "I don't mean to mislead you or anything, but I do have a boyfriend, we've been together four years, but I really reeeeally appreciate you coming up to me... thank you..."—what the fuck was all that about?). Something to ponder... not sure where to take it in practical terms.

Worth keeping in mind that it can just be filler conversation to ask if people feel weird just saying, "Well... it was nice meeting you!" but they don't really have anything to say to you. That one's most likely to occur very early on into an interaction that isn't "clicking" or hooked yet.

Chase