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Where I Stand...

Nick

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
16
Hey y'all Nick here,

*Note if you're reading this and having trouble understanding my train of thought, its ok, I realize my writing is all over the place and its mostly because of my state of mind right now... you'll read about it in a second.*

A little background on me, I'm 19 and in my second semester of college. I've had moderate success most of my life with pretty girls, but they always seemed to find me and "just happen." I've also always been a little different than most people, never quite part of the in-crowd. I like to think I'm a nomad when it comes to social hierarchy, and I enjoy being like that, I just want to be more flexible and have great social mobility. Ever since I came to college I realized the girls I was hooking up with were rather detrimental to my overall value. I realized that even though I've been told most of my life that I'm "handsome" or "cute" I have low self esteem and as a result I tend to attract low self esteem girls with a whole slew of problems. I didn't seem to mind at first because most of them have been cute/hot, but now I understand the importance of being with a girl who has a good/positive personality. Anyway, I'm into pick up because I want to have more control over my life.

So for the past week and a half I've been out and about on my college campus for hours a day literally approaching everyone. Not just girls, but just people who seem interesting.

Any who, I'm pretty confident that I've overcome a lot of my approach anxiety, which is great because just a month ago I was literally crippled when I tried to approach very hot girls. But now I have some new problems.

First problem, I can approach a cute girl and get her number rather quickly and easily, (Its actually A LOT easier than I expected) but I can't seem to follow up. When I set up dates the girls flake. I don't blame them, I know that I'm not getting them invested in me. Personally, I feel like I'm overwhelming the girl into giving me her number. I like to think I'm a pretty good looking kid who dresses well, so when I approach girls during the day (I only use direct approach, I tell them straight up that I think their cute) I feel its like a spur of the moment thing for them. (Funny side note, my favorite is when they tell me they they have a boyfriend, to which I reply "Its ok, phone numbers don't hurt" and then they give it to me anyway! I mean, it doesn't work all the time, but it has about a 50% success rate.) I don't know, I can just tell by my writing right now that my thoughts are erratic and all over place. Pretty much I need some help figuring our exactly where I AM and what I need to do to move FORWARD.

My second problem is definitely related to the first in a number of ways, but it has to do with my inner game. Ever since I started doing hardcore day game I get more and more of a feeling of isolation and weirdness about myself. I mean I already felt this way coming to college and I thought that if I do this approaching stuff it would help with it, but honestly when I'm out all day doing this I only feel more weird and lonely. The loneliness thing isn't too bad, I've always been a loner and I actually enjoy it to an extent, but I've also been out more talking to people and making friends so I'm not too worried about it. What I am worried about is my feeling of "weirdness." I've become socially savvy enough to understand that the way people feel on the inside is often projected onto other people, so I'm REALLY trying to shake this weird vibe off. Like I said, I've always been a little off and eccentric, and once again, I take pride in it, but this weirdness that I'm feeling is deep and psychological. I can tell, I can't concentrate on school work, I don't sleep my well and my dreams are absurd and disturbing.

I guess what it comes down to is I'm looking for people to "understand me" I know this is a very common thing for a teenager to be feeling, but its getting to the point where its seriously affecting my day to day life. Maybe its my age? My hormones? My lifestyle?

Anyway, if you made it this far and you feel like you have good advice for me I would really love some! I love this board and everyone's opinions so feel free to comment and critique!

Thanks!
-Nick
 

newgameplus

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 6, 2013
Messages
18
"personally, I feel like I'm overwhelming the girl into giving me her number"

not sure what else is as concrete in your "first problem" as this, but i'd say realizing absolute abundance would help you here. what's it to you if some girls flake on you? no biggie, just move on to the next one of 3.5 billion.

"What I am worried about is my feeling of "weirdness." I've become socially savvy enough to understand that the way people feel on the inside is often projected onto other people, so I'm REALLY trying to shake this weird vibe off. "

i think i felt something similar? once i started getting pretty proficient at daygame, exchanging numbers, and overall dating behavior, i started kinda feeling a bit sick. as in, "is it really this simple?" kinda feeling. it got me a bit sad and frustrated. i started picking up very accurately on when girls were interested in me and i realized it literally is with most girls i interact with. pretty much any of them are willing to go out on a date where i verify that i'm physically interested in them with me. and i did date a few of them to increase my proficiency with dating behavior. after i got that under ropes i just didn't pursue any others because i'm not interested in them. i'm also not interested in being their friendly guy friend either though. i just remain as an attractive guy that they know and are on somewhat familiar terms with, because i don't do that bullshit friendly guy stuff anymore.

anyway just getting used to my newfound proficiency with my relations with women just felt bad somehow. i'm not sure if that's what you're feeling or trying to describe feeling (cause tbh it's a bit hard to understand exactly what you're trying to convey you feel) but i feel like it's similar.

something kinda like going from the bright eyed cadet into the somewhat jaded veteran. definitely by no means am i veteran, but i used to have a super oldschool train of thought and i was all in for the not having sex until you get to know the girl, treating her like she should come first in my life, etc. (bright eyed cadet that's new to women would feel this way) so having that belief fail me so strongly, and me realizing it absolutely doesn't work, was a bit disheartening (jaded veteran stage.) also literally the fact that until about 3 months ago, i would never have even dared think that a girl could be attracted to me, or want to even kiss me, the fact that i feel like i've figured out the solution to one of my life's biggest problems within a mere two months, and that it really was all so simple (thanks to gc at least) i just feel like it's ridiculous a bit.

i wouldn't say i'm bitter, but i'm definitely a bit, cold perhaps? about how silly i think it is that a man cannot just simply entirely devote himself to a woman, even after she's attracted to him back, for her attraction to him will falter due to his feminine desire to devote himself to his new woman entirely.

i definitely am still a warm and sociable person. that's what gives me the most confidence when it comes to talking to girls and stuff. i know for a fact i can make their day brighter, bring positive energy into their lives, and make an emotional connection with them. knowing that i can do this makes me feel much warmer to people, and also obliterates any insecurities i may have.

and if i think about it, i do know for a fact, it's approach and attitude that defines whether or not you're successful with a woman. it literally is all a highly predictable science, and the "girls chase" essentials pretty much lays it all out. i do like how i have a huge amount of power in my relationship because i know what to do, and i know i can walk out on this relationship at anytime and be with a new girl within a few days really. absolute abundance is a highly securing feeling.

it's also nice to know that if i want to hang on to a girl, i know how to. it's good to know i can really just get away with putting myself first and do what i need to do in life, and that women actually WANT you to do that (even if they "claim" otherwise. women that get what they want are not satisfied women, as ironic as that sounds.)

anyway this ended up being a hugeass rant on my reflections of how i've grown within the past 2 months. but it started because i feel like i can relate to you.

if you can describe the "weirdness" you feel more accurately, perhaps others will be able to chime in more accurately.

i'm also in a college setting btw. i just started reading GC posts religiously maybe around mid january when i was trying to get a girl i crushed way too hard on. ultimately failed with her, but i've come a long ass way.

i don't really know where you are, but for me it was stages.

first stage was getting good at conversation. this was before i even thought about approaching women. i just destroyed approach anxiety by approaching everybody, and it's gotten to the point where i'm comfortable enough with talking to someone the instant i make eyecontact with them, or if something pops into my head about a stranger (like a comment or something.)

after i got better at that, then came regular pick up and numbers game. i got pretty proficient and confident with that, so after that i worked on getting my dating behavior in check so i was fun but still serious and exhibited "sexy" behavior (proest tip ever thanks to gc, even if it has a very SLIGHT chance, i say slight because if the girl has already agreed to go out on a date with you, she's probably interested enough to accept a kiss from you, but it has a slight chance of messing up the date and it just being called off early. however if you just do the ballsy confident peck on the lips mid or early date, it's almost ALWAYS super effective in getting her at least decently attracted to you. you don't even have to kiss, you can tease the girl by going in real close and completely acting like you'll kiss but you don't. just do stuff to show you aren't a pansy.)

after i got better at dating behavior, i found a good girl i was interested in, and she was pretty head over heels for me thanks to my conversationalist ability and entertaining but "sexy" dating behavior that i learned. because she was so attracted to me it was easy to ease into learning how to physically escalate with a girl. so with this girl that is now my girlfriend, i had my first kiss, first heavy make out with petting, and about a week and a half ago, sexual experience. the difference between me and other guys who aren't virgins and have had a few girlfriends however, is that i "earned" the relationship i'm in.

i didn't fall into it through social connections or circles, like most typical men do. it was pickup based. we share no friends (which is also a plus if you ask me). this is probably what is helping me still maintain her attraction to me, because i have the confidence (since i got to this relationship using my ability) to walk out and be with someone new very quickly, using my ability.

as for where i think you stand,
i'm not gonna try to assume anything but you're kinda leaving me no choice. you're not really saying if you've had sexual experience, how many dates you've been on, how comfortable you are with dates, etc. from what i can garner you've obviously been on more than a few dates, so i'd say you're probably at the stage where you just are trying to find a girl you do like a good bit, so you can get more used to physically escalating. then making out, and then having sex. once you do have sex, by "earning" it through pick up, i'd say you understand roughly the whole entire roadmap. and from there, it's just rinsing and repeating, but catching the places you trip up so you become smoother and smoother.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
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