Who to lose virginity to...

[Mr. Wes]

So a girl and I were chatting about sex the other day and the conversation somehow led to her learning that I'm still a virgin. Yup, that's right...I'm a virgin. Recently though, I'm getting closer and closer to sex thanks to what I'm learning.
i've been kissing girls and getting them alone butttt...it just hasn't happened yet. I know it will soon though. I really want it to not be a big deal anymore.

But anyways, I was speaking to this girl about this...about how I wanted to lose it so it will no longer be a big deal.
And she was like: you don't want to lose it to some random girl though, you should lose it to someone special.

So tell me guys, who did you lose yours to? Were they that special?

I think she has a point, I kinda do want it to be a special girl but because of this I'm being very picky lately. How special does she have to be? I'm just having a battle in my mind about this.

 

[Franco]

Hey Wes,

First of all, I would like you to read this if you haven't:

Dating Advice for Men: Why NOT to Get It from Women

Once you're done with that, I would like to ask you: why do you feel like you need to lose your virginity to a special girl? Because a girl told you you should?

If I'm like some of the college guys here, then losing my virginity was definitely nothing all that special. It happened to me at a party while under the influence of alcohol with a girl who was about a 7 or 7.5. It wasn't a big deal; there was no party thrown for me, there was no monument established under my name, and the world remained exactly the same.

The only difference was, I now realized that sex really wasn't a big deal! Once you understand this, you can REALLY begin to apply the concepts on this website to a full degree. If you have any fears or withdrawals about sex, you'll find that it will be extremely difficult to have any relative success with women. You'll constantly be boyfriend/friend-zoned until you learn to break past that barrier.

Women have a very "romantic" notion about losing their virginity, but even if you ask the majority of them what their first time was like, they usually tell you it was just a "bunch of fumbling in the dark and confusion." There was absolutely nothing romantic about it. I would learn to get over any fears as quickly as possible that you might have about sex so that you can really begin to apply your game. It will serve you MUCH better in your future life. You'll long forget about your first time in the sack with a girl. I know I have, and I have no regrets about it!

Anyway, this is my point of view, Wes. Feel free to use it how you please!

- Franco

 

[Mr. Wes]

Thanks for the link Franco.

I suppose I'll give it a shot with the next girl I get in a heated situation then. I just wanted to know if there was going to be any regret later on down the road. Like: why did it have to be her?!
If you know what I mean.

 

[Garrett]

Wes,

Thanks for the post man, I posted a similar topic under sex, except yours is based on who to lose your virginity to.

Franco,

Appreciate the response to Wes, I'm actually in the exact same position. There's this girl at school, she's like a 7.5 (I don't like to rate anymore but it's to help you picture her), and I know with a little effort I could do the deed with her, granted it would be in my car haha . I guess getting it over with is a good idea, because if you lose it to a girl who you're attracted to but aren't really feeling, you can use it as practice, but whatever you do, don't hurt the girl! Like with me, what I'd do is probably drove over to the beach at night then take her in the backseat and escalate. After were done, I'll hold her and talk to her, then drive her home and maybe date her, we'll see.

I'll probably be quite nervous the first time, but once it's done, I'll feel great, and when I meet a girl who I'm particularly keen on, I'll be more relaxed, masculine, smooth, confident, etc.You gotta start somewhere!

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[Flames]

I lost mine to a women 10yrs older than me, she was a good friend and we had sex (under the radar) 6-7 times a night for about 2 months, then it all ended all in one night. It wasn't my only opportunity I'd actually had a girl at a mates party say she was going to have me later and she got in bed with me that night. Problem was I'd assumed she was joking and I wasn't really in the mood and was TBH more than a little intimidated, she was actually quite cute, but also I believe quite nuts, so maybe that was the right call after all. That wasn't the strangest (or first) opportunity but that was probably the most realistic chance that probably should've happened.

But yeah you do realise that it's not that big a deal after a bit.

 

[Chase]

Wes-

Same thoughts as Franco here. Sleeping with your first girl is sort of like getting your first job. Waiting for the perfect one to come along isn't going to give you a better chance of landing that perfect one, it'll give you a worse chance of it. Girls are just like employers... they look for a guy who's experienced.

When I was in high school, I had some pretty hot girls with amazing bodies trying to get me into situations where it'd be just the two of us together. One girl was this sexy redhead a couple years older than me, another was a sultry minx in my own grade. I turned them down because they weren't the "right girl." To this day, I regret it. I didn't even regret it until maybe a few years after I started getting girls... now I look back and I'm like, "Goddamnit, Chase, you fool! You could've been shagging hot women in high school, and moved the entire timetables up on your life by years!"

I'd have learned women then and gotten that handled back in high school. Maybe I'd have been building businesses in college then, instead of having to spend 4 years in the corporate world largely wasting my time.

People examining the regrets of people who are dying have found that regrets are almost NEVER about the things you did. They're almost always about the things you DIDN'T do.

I've slept with a few girls I probably wouldn't want anyone to know about, I'll admit that. But I don't REGRET that. The ones I regret are the ones I could've had, and didn't.

Chase

 

[Verisimilitude]

This is really good advice. From a virgin's perspective, its all about finding the right girl to have sex with but from the experienced man's perspective its less of a big deal. Something I can definitely use.

 

[salamis]

In my case it was totally unexpected. I was very oblivious/"up in the clouds" as a young man, so without thinking too much about it I just kind "found myself" on a date with a girl, and we ended up back at my place to watch a movie. We lay down in my bed because it was too late for her to go home and she looked at me and said "do you really want to go to sleep?" and it dawned on me (I honestly hadn't been thinking about sex as I was quite tired) that that was a pretty silly idea, so I made my move. Anyway I guess if there's a moral here it's to keep an open mind about when/how it happens, and I'd definitely agree that you shouldn't make it a big deal.