I have unhealthy amount of anxiety in my life . Whether it's related to career , approaching women , fighting , sports whatsoever and it's eating me up .
I feel less of a man because of this .
Because of this i haven't take any substantive action in my life ( mostly half assed everything) .
Everything feels so chore and emotionally draining and I feel a punch in my stomach when I see others taking up the opportunities i missed because of my fears .
Because of these fears i have also indulged into escapism ( so as to numb the pain of missing opportunities out of fear)
Even though i have approached women in the past but now I feel frozen and my legs shake when doing ca . Same is in career , i can't really focus because of all the whatifs that come in my mind .
Fuck man , i can't live with this fear so any advice would be appreciated.
Anxiety is what happens when you're not doing what you know you should be doing. It's no wonder you have a lot of it if you aren't taking any action.
Just because anxiety is associated with something does not mean that the anxiety is meant to push you away from it, this is crucial. Let me explain.
Anxiety is created by tension, and tension is the difference between a current situation and a projected future situation. This means that you can feel anxiety when the projected future situation is bad (i.e. if it comes about) and anxiety when the projected future situation is good (i.e. it doesn't come about, opportunities that you miss). If you are habitually missing opportunities, especially if reaching a specific opportunity takes many incremental steps and you haven't even started, this creates anxiety in relation to something good.
Also, there may be bad situations that you know you'll not be able to avoid in future, and subconsciously you know must be prepared for, and if you don't prepare, even if it seems far away, you get anxiety. This is why one should never take anxiety at face value, but instead logically investigate its cause.
The cure for anxiety is always the same: action. It does not have to be direct action, it does not have to be a lot of action, but
proximate action. Proximate action is doing what the next step is, no matter how small, in regards to solving a problem.
If you have been bullied, as
@DarkKnight said, the best thing to do is to begin getting physically stronger and learning how to fight. This can begin with simple steps, such as a morning jog, 100 pushups a day, etc. The goal is to incrementally build physical dominance and capability.
If you are afraid of picking up girls, have more conversations with women in your life, pay more attention to them, try to understand them more. Make small talk with checkout girls, say drive-by hellos to random girls, whatever you can do.
If your own career ambitions create anxiety, do things like getting your resume in order, get a hiring organisation to look at it and tell you what you need to improve, learn some new skill (like taking a copywriting or sales course). Whatever you can do.
The idea is to start small and build slowly, so that the difference between the current situation and the future situation, over time, gets smaller and smaller. It requires maintaining composure, taking care of yourself (health, sleep, meditation, etc), trusting in consistency, encouraging and rewarding yourself regularly, and doing whatever it takes to remain positive and in a good state of mind.
And don't forget to enjoy the journey. Watch yourself grow bit by bit, and feel proud of yourself.
