Why do existential dreads happen .../ The illusion of existential dread

[Spyce D]

So ... I have always been a bit anxious guy .

( Actually..I am breaking my promise I made in my last post )

Anyways... Since past few days I had been experiencing existential dreads .

They began after I lost my virginity ... Cuz my anxious ass was worrying a lot about potential sti I had contracted . That happened for like 2 days . I was super stressed .

After those 2 days ... Suddenly I had 2-3 days where I was experiencing a lot of existential dread and weird thoughts regarding our existence and death .

After talking to some people ... I was able to overcome it but ... It hasn't gone away completely but more like in backside of my mind .


So , is it normal to have ?

As in it must have been caused by me stressing out a lot ( without reason ) ... Cuz I had lost a lot of interest in lot of things during those days .

A few other reasons could be that for the past few years , I Had been watching a lot of stuff that was a bit death - existentialism centric and less productive , spiritual centric .

So , maybe my mental diet was poisonous .

Another could be that due to me being sick and lovesick ..I had been staying indoors a lot obsessing about stuff I have been missing out on .

Another could also be self labelling myself as suffering from existential dread ...which only solidified those thoughts .

Any solid advice in avoiding it on future ?


Fuck ! Why was I so analytical about everything that ending up screwing me bad .

 

[Spyce D]

The reason I have decided to ask this question is because since I have been part of seduction / self help community ... I started shedding lot of my previous beliefs and was becoming more and more empirical ....

And maybe have absorbed some of beliefs from certain folks which weren't well suited for me .

I actually tried behaving like certain individuals in pua community ( big names in YouTube) that got me bogus results and weaker ideology.

 

[HoofHearted]

Well, the anxiety is certainly coming through.

Having sex for the first time is an important event in a person's life. All sorts of feelings arise. It's not uncommon to feel a whole spectrum of things, including concern about the health of your genitals. You feel anxious inside, and an STI is an easy fear to latch onto, so anxiety will like to go there since it's an easy target.

Honestly, it's very unlikely that your first time was super risky and it's very unlikely that you contracted an STI. And if you did, it may be uncomfortable, but likely easily treatable. If you have concerns, talk to a doctor.

What's most likely is you are either consciously or unconsciously experiencing a new range of feelings, maybe testing some beliefs about sex that you hold against reality. This is a part of growing up. I would recommend talking to someone that cares about you IRL, preferably a strong male figure relative guy (father, 'cool' older cousin, successful brother, understanding friend).

You're a baby deer taking its first steps and your legs are wobbly. Whatever may be wrong with you, chill the fuck out Bambi.

 

[Chase]

@Spyce D,

Congrats on popping your cherry!

I will say though, every time I see an inexperienced guy stressing out about STDs I think about this scene from Mo’ Money:

Anyway, man, it’s totally normal to be stressed out about STDs… particularly when you are new to sex. Generally speaking, the more sexual experience you get, the more cavalier you will get. Every guy who gets experienced enough does all kinds of risky stuff with girls that would turn an inexperienced guy white as a sheet!

People worry about all kinds of things when they’re new to something. They worry about embarrassing themselves, they worry about screwing up, they worry what other people will think, they worry about any bad things that might happen related to the thing (disease, injury, you name it).

As you get more comfortable with the thing, these anxieties go away.

This is true for all things.

As for the existential dread — any kind of over-stress in particular can snowball into bigger stress.

Spend a little time learning meditation and to let things go.

Get decent with that, and you can let almost anything go.

How to Do a 10-Minute Meditation that Eliminates Bad Emotions

I've been meditating since I was 18 years old. That's half a lifetime ago for me now. I didn't get into meditation as part of any kind of spiritual belief system. I prayed as a child when I was a Christian. But by the time I started meditating, I was an atheist. I'm more spiritual again now...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[Lover]

They began after I lost my virginity

Let me guess - you also grew up in an environment where sex was only for married people?

 

[Spyce D]

Let me guess - you also grew up in an environment where sex was only for married people?

Yes

 

[DarkJedi]

So ... I have always been a bit anxious guy .

( Actually..I am breaking my promise I made in my last post )

Anyways... Since past few days I had been experiencing existential dreads .

They began after I lost my virginity ... Cuz my anxious ass was worrying a lot about potential sti I had contracted . That happened for like 2 days . I was super stressed .

After those 2 days ... Suddenly I had 2-3 days where I was experiencing a lot of existential dread and weird thoughts regarding our existence and death .

After talking to some people ... I was able to overcome it but ... It hasn't gone away completely but more like in backside of my mind .


So , is it normal to have ?

As in it must have been caused by me stressing out a lot ( without reason ) ... Cuz I had lost a lot of interest in lot of things during those days .

A few other reasons could be that for the past few years , I Had been watching a lot of stuff that was a bit death - existentialism centric and less productive , spiritual centric .

So , maybe my mental diet was poisonous .

Another could be that due to me being sick and lovesick ..I had been staying indoors a lot obsessing about stuff I have been missing out on .

Another could also be self labelling myself as suffering from existential dread ...which only solidified those thoughts .

Any solid advice in avoiding it on future ?


Fuck ! Why was I so analytical about everything that ending up screwing me bad .

I'd like to just add that if you have a tendency to be anxious, its very easy to get into these thought loops and spiral down inwards. You'll tend to make things bigger than they are, and you'll realize it yourself when you're out of that anxious phase and looking at it objectively. Times like these are exactly the times when you should try to not be in your head and go talk to people instead. Get out of the house, talk to your friends, or at least pick up the phone and call.

Also, anxiety and depression are super related. They feed off one another and are both associated with rumination. Even though you're probably not depressed, Chase has an excellent article about overcoming depression which also talks about systematically cutting off these ruminating thoughts. Might be helpful.

How to Overcome Depression

Was discussing this on a forum with a guy; I used to talk about it a fair amount, some time back, but it's sort of faded from my life in significance. It just isn't on my mind much these days anymore, but I do remember how big a deal it was for me once, and hopefully my story and process can...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Lover]

Yes

I'm pretty sure some of the existential dread comes from that as well. Childhood beliefs can be hard to let go off and are often placed in our subconscious mind. But the only thing you can do is to challenge them by doing what you think is right. You are already doing this - congratulations on your first lay! (where is the LR btw )

Of course, I also get the worry for STI's. If you have any question about this, feel free to pm me

 

[Spyce D]

Thanks for all the replies, guys .

So , it just seems like Its all due to me stressing over a lot of things for many years .

Can't do it anymore .

Should. Have listened to my family , friends , chicks who always pointed out my habit of overthinking/ overanalyzing.

 

[Conquistador]

congratulations on your first lay! (where is the LR btw )

Chill out man…FR board is for bragging/learning…I don’t plan to provide one either.

 

[Spyce D]

Chill out man…FR board is for bragging/learning…I don’t plan to provide one either.

congratulations on your first lay! (where is the LR btw )

@Lover @Surveyor .... I was just so stressed after my first time ... So don't think I will write it ....but I will write about my second experience .... If it happens .

Cuz I am going on a date with another chick this sat / sun .

 

[Spyce D]

Update :: Guys here are right ... The root cause of it all is stress and it's snowballing effect on me ... Not any philosophical / great discovery I made about universe .

 

[HoofHearted]

I had a feeling you didn't really solve the meaning of life.

Let me give a heuristic.

If huge, existential questions seem to be causing you an anxious, immediate problem-- the problem is probably something else, something smaller.

Because that's not how big questions work. Rather the opposite. The bigger the question (or, perhaps, the assertion...) the more subtle (yet profound) effect it has on your life.