Why do girls suddenly act cold

[Whiteheart]

During conversation with new girls it happened to me that women suddenly became cold, disinterested and start to ignore me completely. This mostly happened with younger girls (18-20 years old) but once or twice it also happened with some older girls. Pattern is always the same. We start conversation. I deep dive her, relate to her where I can and maybe share some story about me. In the beginning she participates in conversation, conversation roles, but suddenly she is totally TURNED OFF. She avoids eye contact, doesn’t want to speak with me anymore and completely ignores me. Degree on ignorance is very high, so for example during approach, dates or one on one conversation at social circle she won’t talk to me and act like I am not present. Also in social circle situations it is time for her to leave, she will say goodbye to everybody except me.
Does anyone know what causes this behavior? I would like to eliminate mistakes I make. I can understand that maybe conversation was boring to them (they expected light and funny conversation and this one was deep) or that I was perceived as dissimilar to them. I understand these things can lower attraction but this behavior is little bit extreme and cheeky, don’t you think?

 

[Whiteheart]

P.S. Sorry for bad English, I was in hurry when I was writting post, now I see all mistakes.

 

[ulrich]

Are you using negs? Being cocky? Busting their balls?
It’s very easy to do mistakes when you go the asshole route.

Are you aware of attainability?

 

[Whiteheart]

No, no, no. Nothing above mentioned. It is not my style of game to actively use that tech. I even think that some ot that conversations were boring. BUT maybe it could be some attainability problem. That girls mostly were much younger then me and it is easy for them to see me in wrong light. Just, fact is I always use tech to improve attainability in conversations so do not undersand how things went to that level so girls ignored me completely. So I really don't understand. If it was attainability issue, girls were uninterested and just decided to cut interaction or something third.

 

[ulrich]

Weird.

Do you think they feel insulted? Or perhaps do they feel like you’re unreachable?
This definitely sounds like an attainability problem.

Is there a serious mismatch between you and them? (you travel a lot and they don’t, they’re party girls and you’re intelectual, they’re gym enthusiasts and you just don’t care...)

How old are you?
How are your fundamentals?

 

[Whiteheart]

I agree, definite weird.

I am 28 years old. My fundamentals are good. But often I adjust them to be tight, i.e. to present me better or worse, because I noticed that some girls were more receptive when I looked less perfect. I am good looking guy so I often try to good look replace with some other fundamentals. Look can be disadvantage with some girls and it is better to focus on other attraction factors.
I think that maybe in one of those cases was attainability problem. Because that girl I meet via social circle knew a lot of good things about me, because mutual friend that introduced us told her. So maybe she felt insulted or something, although I was very kind and respectful in conversation that was focused on her. Maybe it was her low self-respect and it was easy to push her into auto-rejection. But I am not sure for the other girls that behaved similar like her because they didn’t know much about me.

Yes, you are right. It could be relatability problem. There were differences between us. I am more intellectual type and girls weren’t care about that stuff. But on the other hand we talked about different things and I related to them where I could. Who knows, maybe it wasn’t enough for them.

What confuses me in whole story is that I was relatable where possible and tried to look attainable and still got such an extreme behavior. Earlier years I also had attainability issues but girls were just a little bit rude or just rejected me.

Thanks for you will to give me some advice. I will accept these suggestions about attainability (relatability). If you or anybody else suspect on anything else please write. Maybe someone had similar experience?

 

[Velasco]

I even think that some ot that conversations were boring

Short attention span.

Missing 2 of the 3 keys (emotional stimulation and sexual arousal).

 

[immy3482]

How often is it happening to you?

I've often found in the past whenever I thought I was doing something wrong, it was more that I wasn't talking to enough girls, and that made me overly sensitive about any rejections. eg if I was only talking to 1 or 2 girls a week, if they rejected me, I'd overanalyse it and try to figure out exactly what I was doing wrong, what I could do better, and I'd drive myself crazy by being neurotic about it. I found - at least for me - the problem was fixed by just going out and hitting on another 50 girls so I had a bigger sample size.

Is it EVERY girl that's going cold on you? Like, 80% of girls you talk to go cold?

Or is it just a few, every now and then? If it's just a few every now and then - I wouldn't stress about it too much. Girls go cold for a million reasons. But if it's happening to you most of the time, that's a different story.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

. We start conversation. I deep dive her, relate to her where I can and maybe share some story about me.

Instead of building emotion, you go to straight comfort and rapport, showing that you don't understand "the dance."

This is AFC/Blue Pill thinking/methodology.

WIA

 

[Whiteheart]

Short attention span.

Missing 2 of the 3 keys (emotional stimulation and sexual arousal).

Yes, sure that these things were missing in some of these conversations. But that also happened couple more times. And I was just friend zoned or girls would lose interest. There wasn't such an extreme behaviour. But, who knows, people are different, maybe it was their way to show me that do not like me.

 

[Whiteheart]

How often is it happening to you?

I've often found in the past whenever I thought I was doing something wrong, it was more that I wasn't talking to enough girls, and that made me overly sensitive about any rejections. eg if I was only talking to 1 or 2 girls a week, if they rejected me, I'd overanalyse it and try to figure out exactly what I was doing wrong, what I could do better, and I'd drive myself crazy by being neurotic about it. I found - at least for me - the problem was fixed by just going out and hitting on another 50 girls so I had a bigger sample size.

Is it EVERY girl that's going cold on you? Like, 80% of girls you talk to go cold?

Or is it just a few, every now and then? If it's just a few every now and then - I wouldn't stress about it too much. Girls go cold for a million reasons. But if it's happening to you most of the time, that's a different story.

Thanks man. A agree, when I had less interactions with girls I was more sensitive and over analyzed things. Then decided to approach and interact with them more. I have approached 400-500 girls in my life. There were different results with women but generally I don't have much success in this area.

When I was in high school, girls liked me. Not all but some normal percent. But nine years ago, I finished high school and went to university in another country, and stayed to live there. When I started to interact with girls in new country that have different personalities and preferences in men than girls in my motherland country results drastically faded. Although most of my fundamentals are good, my accent differs than thers, so they assume my origin and find me less atractive. Small percent of girls here like me and have will to give me chance. I will post this situation in another post and detailly explain challenges and reasons why I face them with women here. But most of that women are polite, just put me into frend zone, show disinterest or something. There isn't such extreme behaviour.

This extreme cold behaviour happened with only 4-5 girls, so I don't bother much, but I am curious to figure out why (if it is possible). As you said, maybe it is normal thing considering different reasons for that behaviour. Sorry for bad English.

 

[Whiteheart]

Instead of building emotion, you go to straight comfort and rapport, showing that you don't understand "the dance."

This is AFC/Blue Pill thinking/methodology.

WIA

Really good advice. You are right, I always try to build rapport and comfort first. Especially during cold approach. Can you give me some advice how to focus on creating good emotions first? On what to focus? Is there some tech? Flirting, teasing,...?

 

[Mr STIF]

For younger girls make evaluating statements like: I'm not sure you're a big girl and she'll try to win you over by proofing she's a big girl.

Another one: I bet you're just daddy's little girl.

In general, your goal in a set is to get the person sharing intimate, personal information with you not you talking about yourself.She should know enough to be intrigued and want to know more, that's how you get her from excited to sexually stimulated.

Do you use push-pulls to not seem like you're pushing(totally interested) with her: at the same time not like you're pulling away either (not interested).

Do you know that I go direct in my openers, sometimes in daygame and I still do push-pull and evaluate the girl either through body language, statements that get her to qualify herself or the way I make her act around me and the way I act around her.

Let me give an example: I was practicing when I saw a tall chick pass me since we were walking in opposite directions I let her pass, she noticed me because of my fashion.

I run to catch up with her and go direct to calibrate to the situation. I got her to start telling me about her ex, he even called her again. I told her to answer but she was more interested in our conversation. She told me nasty stuffs he did and how she didn't trust all guys and I called her out on generalizing her statements about every guy being like that.

I patted her on the back and told her not to give up on this dating thing and shared light stories to let her know that I understand what she's going through.

Because of how I acted in the above paragraph she thought I was going the boyfriend route and made a wuss statement.

I told her I'm here to see if I like her for that role and I haven't figured her out yet which makes the approach much like my jovial interview of a romantic prospect

I asked her this question that made her open up about her ex: what would make a guy run up to a girl? She immediately went into a rant about how she doesn't know what we guys want then followed up with her ex's story.

We exchanged details about work, she knows I'm high value because I told her about work(briefly) and other surface level stuffs that is just small talk but shows I've been with more women.

Meanwhile, I deep dived her like a CIA agent: smooth, laughing at her for relationship drama and extracting more information.

Mind you this girl isn't much of a talker but when it was her turn on the mantle of convo I'll just mirror her quietness and let her pour her spirit out until she feels invested.

I'm a talker, I can talk like Tyler in RSD. I developed it through daygame. I can talk to anyone. But the skill is getting things on a better bargain and making things happy for both parties to want meet up again.

And how do you that Bro,its by making the person talk a lot more than you, ask double ended questions, ask open ended questions, talk about family, friends, hobbies, favourite movies, tv shows that you both love.

I'll leave it here

 

[immy3482]

As you said, maybe it is normal thing considering different reasons for that behaviour.

Oh man if it's only 4-5 girls I wouldn't worry too much. I've had it happen a tonne of times. Here's a list of all the reasons girls can go cold:

What Do Women Want? They Have No Idea (Sexually Unavailable for Unexplained Reasons)

What do women want? They have no idea most of the time. So don't take their words seriously, judge them by their actions.

www.goodlookingloser.com

1. She has a boyfriend.
2. She has a husband.
3. She has a lesbian lover.
4. She got drunk last night and she's hungover, not looking to talk to new people.
5. She is super emotional today.
6. She already has a fuckbuddy.
7. She already has 10 fuckbuddies.
8. She doesn't EVER have fuckbuddies.
9. She is a super conservative girl that doesn't have sex without being married for 4 years.
10. She already got fucked that day by a thick cock.
11. She had a bad experience from the last guy that picked her up.
12. Her friends are there and they will judge her.
13. She has to wake up early in the morning. (logistics)
14. She has to go home early that night.
15. She is on her period.
16. She thinks she is on her period.
17. She thinks she is pregnant.
18. She doesn't have casual sex.
19. She is a drug addict.
20. She didn't take her anti-depression medicine (welcome to Los Angeles).
21. She is just out for attention.
22. You look like her ex-boyfriend that she hates.
23. She doesn't think it's appropriate to meet people at _____.
24. She doesn't like players, she only likes nice guys and fucks them after 10 dates.
25. She doesn't think she looks good.
26. She's just a fucking weirdo at all times.
27. She heard a story from a friend that makes her hate guys for a week or two.
28. She's obsessed with some other guy.
29. She's obsessed with her ex-boyfriend.
30. She wants a boyfriend.
31. She doesn't know what the fuck she wants.
32. She had a bad day.
33. She's scared of guys at bars.
34. She's scared of guys at clubs.
35. She's scared of guys that talk to her during the day.
36. She doesn't know how to show guys that she's DTF.

And your english is perfect dude.

 

[Whiteheart]

For younger girls make evaluating statements like: I'm not sure you're a big girl and she'll try to win you over by proofing she's a big girl.

Another one: I bet you're just daddy's little girl.

In general, your goal in a set is to get the person sharing intimate, personal information with you not you talking about yourself.She should know enough to be intrigued and want to know more, that's how you get her from excited to sexually stimulated.

Do you use push-pulls to not seem like you're pushing(totally interested) with her: at the same time not like you're pulling away either (not interested).

Do you know that I go direct in my openers, sometimes in daygame and I still do push-pull and evaluate the girl either through body language, statements that get her to qualify herself or the way I make her act around me and the way I act around her.

Let me give an example: I was practicing when I saw a tall chick pass me since we were walking in opposite directions I let her pass, she noticed me because of my fashion.

I run to catch up with her and go direct to calibrate to the situation. I got her to start telling me about her ex, he even called her again. I told her to answer but she was more interested in our conversation. She told me nasty stuffs he did and how she didn't trust all guys and I called her out on generalizing her statements about every guy being like that.

I patted her on the back and told her not to give up on this dating thing and shared light stories to let her know that I understand what she's going through.

Because of how I acted in the above paragraph she thought I was going the boyfriend route and made a wuss statement.

I told her I'm here to see if I like her for that role and I haven't figured her out yet which makes the approach much like my jovial interview of a romantic prospect

I asked her this question that made her open up about her ex: what would make a guy run up to a girl? She immediately went into a rant about how she doesn't know what we guys want then followed up with her ex's story.

We exchanged details about work, she knows I'm high value because I told her about work(briefly) and other surface level stuffs that is just small talk but shows I've been with more women.

Meanwhile, I deep dived her like a CIA agent: smooth, laughing at her for relationship drama and extracting more information.

Mind you this girl isn't much of a talker but when it was her turn on the mantle of convo I'll just mirror her quietness and let her pour her spirit out until she feels invested.

I'm a talker, I can talk like Tyler in RSD. I developed it through daygame. I can talk to anyone. But the skill is getting things on a better bargain and making things happy for both parties to want meet up again.

And how do you that Bro,its by making the person talk a lot more than you, ask double ended questions, ask open ended questions, talk about family, friends, hobbies, favourite movies, tv shows that you both love.

I'll leave it here

Thank a lot. Sure that improving conversation skills will make the job easier. You gave me good idea about open ended and double ended questions.

 

[Whiteheart]

Oh man if it's only 4-5 girls I wouldn't worry too much. I've had it happen a tonne of times. Here's a list of all the reasons girls can go cold:

What Do Women Want? They Have No Idea (Sexually Unavailable for Unexplained Reasons)

What do women want? They have no idea most of the time. So don't take their words seriously, judge them by their actions.

www.goodlookingloser.com

1. She has a boyfriend.
2. She has a husband.
3. She has a lesbian lover.
4. She got drunk last night and she's hungover, not looking to talk to new people.
5. She is super emotional today.
6. She already has a fuckbuddy.
7. She already has 10 fuckbuddies.
8. She doesn't EVER have fuckbuddies.
9. She is a super conservative girl that doesn't have sex without being married for 4 years.
10. She already got fucked that day by a thick cock.
11. She had a bad experience from the last guy that picked her up.
12. Her friends are there and they will judge her.
13. She has to wake up early in the morning. (logistics)
14. She has to go home early that night.
15. She is on her period.
16. She thinks she is on her period.
17. She thinks she is pregnant.
18. She doesn't have casual sex.
19. She is a drug addict.
20. She didn't take her anti-depression medicine (welcome to Los Angeles).
21. She is just out for attention.
22. You look like her ex-boyfriend that she hates.
23. She doesn't think it's appropriate to meet people at _____.
24. She doesn't like players, she only likes nice guys and fucks them after 10 dates.
25. She doesn't think she looks good.
26. She's just a fucking weirdo at all times.
27. She heard a story from a friend that makes her hate guys for a week or two.
28. She's obsessed with some other guy.
29. She's obsessed with her ex-boyfriend.
30. She wants a boyfriend.
31. She doesn't know what the fuck she wants.
32. She had a bad day.
33. She's scared of guys at bars.
34. She's scared of guys at clubs.
35. She's scared of guys that talk to her during the day.
36. She doesn't know how to show guys that she's DTF.

And your english is perfect dude.

Thanks a lot. I have just read article you sent me and it is great. Also, this list of reasons explains a lot. I would just add one more reason that she has too big ego and maybe thinks particular guy will not feed it enough well.

 

[Eternity]

Lack of interest, other guys in her life, finds you beta and not alpha enough or good looking enough to continue the conversation with you. Lack of escalation in the given time frame such as setting date up or getting sexual from the get go to transition into having her come over asap ect. Move on and get a new one. Guaranteed she's already done the same with you...