Why do Strong Personalities don't get along so well?

[trashKENNUT]

Are we really that insecure?

I find that sometimes strong people don't hang out together or get along well. They obviously have their own lifes, but i just wonder is this how i really know true quality guys and the not true quality guys?

Because honestly, i don't feel the need to screen the fuck out of guy friends after awhile just to show and tell i am good in anything. I find that the quality guys i know, the ball busting and ego boost gets lesser as you know them, but for some guys who deem themselves "quality", They are just petty, unfortunately, in my eyes, because the need for that constant ball busting, ego boost. I think i know what is true "quality". It's hard to come by.

Zac

 

[Supah]

It's hard to define 'strong personality'

For me it means that you know where you stand in life, know your limits and have strong opinions, but are still willing to listen to what other people's opinions are. For me it does not mean you are a dominating person. If you have a strong personality people will sense this, they will like to hang out with you and respect you.

There are two main situation's here concerning strong personalities living together:

• 1.Lovers: I think that two strong personalities can make some real intense relationship but the love and passion must be huge for it to last. There love and passion has to make up for the countless arguments they will have.
  
  2.Friends:
  
  • a) Two strong personalities living together as friends will not work out in my opinion because of the conflicts. I personally do have some friends in mind that are incredibly good friends, but i would never be able to live with them.
    
    b) A group of friends which consists of a lot of good friends and some friends with strong personalities. I think this is a good example of how strong personalities can get a long fine because of the other friends that are kind of a moderating factor.

Then there's always the difference how people express their strong personalities. Strong personalities can be dominating, but i don't think this is an aspect of a strong personality its just a way of expressing it. For example I consider one of my friends to be someone with a strong personality but he is not dominating, he just knows how to make people do what he wants them to in a way that is not disturbing, by being charming, smart, convincing and effortless.

I think this is a very difficult subject so thank you for opening this conversation.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Supah,

Then there's always the difference how people express their strong personalities. Strong personalities can be dominating, but i don't think this is an aspect of a strong personality its just a way of expressing it. For example I consider one of my friends to be someone with a strong personality but he is not dominating, he just knows how to make people do what he wants them to in a way that is not disturbing, by being charming, smart, convincing and effortless.

Strong and Dominating can work by being charming, smart, convincing and effortless or it can go the wrong way. You brought up something there. It is a fine line.

Zac

 

[The Byronic Man]

I think the more values one shares with another, the better they can get along with. So I think men and women are either meant for you or not. But you can still get along with anyone regardless of their values, but the relationship potential will not be as great. I think having the right fundamental values, though, opens you up to have strong relationships with a broad scope of people. I would say these fundamental values are knowledge, education, wealth, health, society, and philosophy. They address our physical and psychological needs.

I agree that a "strong personality" is knowing your values/beliefs/needs. Many people don't actually know themselves well, hence their "weaker" personalities and why they are easily manipulated.

 

[Chase]

#1 reason - strong personalities like to win, and they like to sit at the top of the food chain.

Throw two strong people together where neither one is willing to submit himself to some degree to the other and take on more of a student-learner role, and you'll have two people who can maybe be casual friends and information share and hang out once in a blue moon, but too much time around each other and they'll be at each other's throats before you know it.

Just look at any good two-partner team in a legendary business - there's always one dominant partner and one partner who stays out of the limelight and works in the background. Same deal on sports teams - the successful ones have one real star on offense who takes the lead, and maybe some secondary and tertiary stars, and often the same setup on defense if there are different offensive / defensive teams. Same thing in friendships and romantic partnerships - there can only be one leader.

Maybe think of different bands of gorillas, each one headed by a big, dominant silverback, with a couple of reasonably strong subadult males providing support. If the lead silverbacks of two different bands spy each other at the fringes of each male's territory, they'll probably make some signs of grudging respect, but if they start hanging out together it's going to be fists and fangs.

It's mostly down to testosterone's winner effect - once you really get going with the winner effect in full gear, you start wanting to win at EVERYTHING, and DOMINATE everything - second place just doesn't appeal anymore. When you have two or more people for whom second place is not enough, you're going to have a dogfight. Sometimes things settle out with time and the loser of the fight "learns his place" and accepts it (or bides his time until he can seize power), but usually the loser ends up going his separate way to seek out somewhere else he can be #1 instead.

Chase

 

[flowerpower]

Chase, to what extent do you think wanting to be the #1 is "alpha" behavior? A lot of times when I encounter such people, the way they act isn't very intelligent and socially attuned in my opinion. Like they're desperate for consideration, you see.

 

[The Byronic Man]

flowerpower, I was just reading this last night:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/socia ... d-using-it

Relevant to your question.

 

[trashKENNUT]

BUMP

 

[trashKENNUT]

bump

readjusting, here's one.