Why does daygame feel awkward?

[mella]

Hey guys. Got a question. When I take the train into town (live on the outskirts) for the sole purpose of doing daygame I feel a very awkward vibe inside of me, like, all I am going to town for is deliberately trying to get chicks and it feels very unnatural to me and my interactions with chicks feel more "forced", abnormal, and are awkwardly initiated.

On the other hand, if I see and meet chicks when I'm out actually doing something I need to be doing, like shopping at walmart for example, with no mission of getting them in mind as i step out the door, then it's never "forced" and it always comes out smoother and more natural. I spot one somewhere, say something to her, and go for her. There's no "seduction mission" in my mind as I walk into that place.

It's as though if I make it my mission to get chicks that day, it feels stupid.

Anybody ever felt like this? Is there a way to make daygame feel less "forced"?

 

[Will_V]

Yes, it can definitely feel weird when you're not in the right frame of mind, the same way that sex feels weird if you're just doing it for some abstract goal.

The idea is to look at it as a playful social activity of self-expression. When I daygame, it is a form of social theater where I am playing myself. I enjoy practicing my walk, my posture, my breathing, staying present and relaxed, managing my attention and emotions, observing how my presence influences the behaviour of people around me, the ebb and flow of female curiosity and interest. All this is very satisfying at the instinctual level. And in this mode of 'play', it's natural to go up to a woman whose attention I have captured and stimulate that curiosity, see where I can take it.

While you can just jump on a train like Jason Bourne with pickup lines written on the back of your shades, at least for me that sort of thing is not enjoyable and I quickly start thinking of other things I could be doing. Whereas self-expression is something I need, like exercise and food.

There are different phases of learning - sometimes you have to find a process and follow steps to get started - but the way I see it, everything about women and sex must ultimately be a release of self-expression, something that satisfies your soul, like playing music. Otherwise it ends up becoming just an awkward habit with questionable logical utility.

 

[DarkKnight]

Because you feel you lack social frame and are afraid of being judged hence why you feel weird about it.

My way of circumventing this is by making myself the authority of what is normal and I also have a serious stubborness about not allowing npc people to interfere or sabottage my interactions.

The way I construct my daygame is by "going about my day", meanwhile under the surface I am strategic about it, but carry that plausbile deniability.. coming across as "on the prey" is something I try to avoid. That being said when I engage a new girl and someone tries to interfere or apply social pressure I deal with them fast and low effort (but decisive)

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Interesting you'd say this because it's always been the other way round for me.

• When I'm out doing errands and see a girl I like, I'm in the wrong headspace entirely.
• When I go out specifically to chill and chat with birds, then it comes much more easily cause I'm mentally prepared.

 

[Starboy]

What you described is a very common phenomenon for pure beginners who've never consciously went out their way to daygame. Other guys don't do that and it's not a socially common or accepted practice so you reflect upon that social pressure and it makes you feel uncomfortable. You worry that someone's gonna ask about your day and in your mind this is awkward because little do they know the sole reason you're outside is to hit on girls.

Ideally you daygame as part of your natural routine like coming out the gym,leaving work or going shopping,but if you aren't seeing anybody currently why is it a bad thing to take a few hours out of your day just to talk to women? This unease and discomfort you feel is all in your head. Men are creators they build things from nothing and women become the beneficiaries of our creations.

Just desensitize yourself more and find a way to reframe daygame so that it's fun and exciting. Idk if daygame can ever feel natural on it's own,but over time if you do it consistently enough it will be less having to force yourself and not as big a deal. If you meditate before you headout you can program yourself to be at ease with it.