Why does she still want to be friends?

[isasda66]

Made a move on my oneitis of few months. We hooked up she seemed super into it. We agreed to see where things would go. Few days later she gives multiple excuses I agree and she then backtracks and says no she needs more time. I made a mistake of asking her whether she though about it and the next day she gives the typical typical too valuable friend to lose. I just responded with an ok cool. I completely cut her off, only to respond to some of her texts.
3 weeks later I get multiple texts from her. Paraphrasing her text "She wants to know what she may have done to upset/hurt me and she didnt want to hurt a close friend with her mood swings and thought I understood. And she wants to know whats wrong."

Now I know I fucked up and theres no chance of recovery but just want to understand how the sudden change within 2/3 days.

Another friend said that now that ive given her some negative emotions send her a text in 2 weeks of some inside joke and see how it flows. But I dont feel like letting her know she has me as an orbiter.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Generally if you're a guy that can offer a girl some kind of social value, validation, or status if she's seen with you, then a girl will be all about being and staying friends with you. Doubly so if you're a cool guy with lots of connections, famous, a celebrity, etc.

Other times women like you, but if things didn't work out for whatever reason (usually the guy's fault) and you're in the same social circle or share connections, she won't want her reputation affected and will want to most likely stay friends. Well, it's either that, or she'll completely socially crush you in an attempt to kick you out of the group.

In short, women will do everything they can to help their reputation or protect their reputation. Whatever strategy suits her the best is what she'll go for.

 

[Cody Lyans]

Just respond that you don't like to be put in a position where you feel immasculated by the friends card.
Say you have self respect and just aren't into that stuff.
Tell her that if she doesn't want any sort of relationship with you, it is cool
But that you have a line, and don't want to feel disrespected

Then say, you don't judge her, and that she's free to do what she likes, and you think its fine to have moods
Then just let yourself sort out your own issues. I mean, if she really is a friend of yours I am sure you can get over it.

Thats what I'd do.
I just NEVER let girls talk down to me, thats just a rule. Cuz I am high value and I don't need ignorance acting friendly to me. Ignorance is ignorance, ya know?

But yeah, don't talk to her all in a huff and angry, go take a breather

 

[isasda66]

SNIP SNIP

I thought I would move past her but she started flirting hard again. No response from me. Obviously a friend after rejecting would not try to lead me on. So its evident she wants me as an orbiter or some plan B.

Good luck to her.

 

[JWS]

Let a woman decide whether or not she wants to have sex with you. But you should be the one to decide whether or not you want a more serious relationship with her. And only after she has earned it. In this case you are chasing her, you are more concerned with "where do we stand" than she is - not good.

This is what I have done in the past to turn such situations around. Do not use text to discuss "relationship" or even "friendship" stuff. If you want an intimate sexual relationship (or even a close platonic relationship), then the goal in texting should always be for logistics, setting up the next meet.

You can use humor and the occasional joke to let her know you're thinking about her on occasion, but this should be rare, and virtually nonexistent if she is giving you any weird vibe about the two of you.

You can reframe everything to try for a meetup:

She: did I upset you? You seem really upset?

You: What?

She: you seem blah blah blah etc blah etc

You: Yeah maybe (or, "maybe not"?

You: I'm going to be in your neighbourhood tomorrow around 3. Meet me for a drink?

Remember, girls just wanna have fun! A girl can be totally in to you one day and then three months goes by and she won't respond anymore and you're wondering WTF just happened? Absent any psychological issues on her part, if she's getting cold it means she is no longer having FUN with you, by your texts, and your meetups.

If she agrees to meet keep it light and playful. Remember to kino and try to escalate, but never in a needy or desperate way. It's ok to have strong desire, but never ok to lose your self control.