Why does this happen
- Thread starter Wolfie
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Mind Your Eyes 👁️👁️
I was experiencing some tough momentum (self imposed) and started rationalizing really hard on nonsensical things. Quite vividly I remember many times looking at men with dreads or who were tall and going "he has it easier just because of that" this is confirmation bias and victim mentality...
www.skilledseducer.com
Read this thread .
Might help
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In a monogamy-normative social circle fundies matter somewhat less and people partner up assortatively. Also, sometimes these guys have more to them than meets the eye. Or they had some kind of chemistry.
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Girls care a lot less about looks than most men think. That’s not how they choose. And when they do they mostly care about height and size.
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You are not a homo to know what looks good or does not
www.skilledseducer.com
Socializing - My experience with my "rating dudes looks stage" and why is such a massive waste of time and inaccurate
So couple of years back some of you from other forums remember i went through a strong coping/looks maxing stage that drove everyone crazy specially and sad to say may have contribute for the destruction of the forum... Now that i look back as when i read guys that are going through similar...
www.skilledseducer.com
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Fundamentals also include social fundamentals.
Are these fat/ugly looking guys, socially skilled?
Are they more charming / ambitious / gregarious than the average?
You need to look at the whole package.
A guy I know is a martial artist and acrobatics expert. The guy got the body of a fitness model.
But he is akward as hell… he passes as a dangerous and unpredictable guy. Therefore he struggles with women.
Are these fat/ugly looking guys, socially skilled?
Are they more charming / ambitious / gregarious than the average?
You need to look at the whole package.
A guy I know is a martial artist and acrobatics expert. The guy got the body of a fitness model.
But he is akward as hell… he passes as a dangerous and unpredictable guy. Therefore he struggles with women.
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It does not take a PhD to know that a guy who is fat, chabbily dressed, poor body language, acting very unconfident, or any of the above comes under the category of unattractiveYou are not a homo to know what looks good or does not
Socializing - My experience with my "rating dudes looks stage" and why is such a massive waste of time and inaccurate
So couple of years back some of you from other forums remember i went through a strong coping/looks maxing stage that drove everyone crazy specially and sad to say may have contribute for the destruction of the forum... Now that i look back as when i read guys that are going through similar...
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@Wolfie,
Where are you, Eastern Europe? Asia?
If you're in a sexual marketplace with a large income disparity between men and women, the guys don't need good fundamentals. They just need to be decent earners with decent careers that the girl considers to be reliable guys. The girls in general dress better and take much better care of their appearances in these regions, while the guys often totally neglect their appearances. So you will see overweight guys dressed down having bad body language but dating thin, beautiful girls with their hair done up wearing pretty summer dresses... the guy isn't even some big-money guy, he just has a halfway decent job.
If you head to Western Europe, North America, etc., where women are in general earning much more, the sexes are a lot more balanced. Men need to work much harder on their appearances and presentation, and women in general work less hard (on average; compared to EE or EA women). As female earnings increase, women care less about male earning potential and become more selective about men's appearances even as they grow less concerned with their own.
Chase
Where are you, Eastern Europe? Asia?
If you're in a sexual marketplace with a large income disparity between men and women, the guys don't need good fundamentals. They just need to be decent earners with decent careers that the girl considers to be reliable guys. The girls in general dress better and take much better care of their appearances in these regions, while the guys often totally neglect their appearances. So you will see overweight guys dressed down having bad body language but dating thin, beautiful girls with their hair done up wearing pretty summer dresses... the guy isn't even some big-money guy, he just has a halfway decent job.
If you head to Western Europe, North America, etc., where women are in general earning much more, the sexes are a lot more balanced. Men need to work much harder on their appearances and presentation, and women in general work less hard (on average; compared to EE or EA women). As female earnings increase, women care less about male earning potential and become more selective about men's appearances even as they grow less concerned with their own.
Chase
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I’m kinda fat and I do okay hahahaha
I don’t think I can get the high caliber women (Top 1%) just yet tho
But I have gone on dates with women that are objectively hot
my confidence makes up for my fatness
I am working on the fat peice tho, currently dieting and lost a couple pounds so far.
But to answer your question, the non looks fundamentals can compensate for your looks at times, but not for all women, I would say my fatness does give me a bit of a handicap
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I have noticed that anybody who has mastered a particular skill usually has varying degrees of proficiency with sub-sets of skills within the larger skill set.
To be efficient at something does not require you to be the best at all aspects of that skill set.
This is true for the masters as well. While he definitely has a grasp of all the skill sets that comprise his craft, there are many that he focuses on only rarely, and perhaps isn't even proficient in. This is fine because he is remarkably proficient in other areas of the craft, and in some areas are good at but not the best. Just using those skills as supportive elements.
In terms of ratios, it seems to be something like this (for those who have mastered a craft).
He has one skill dialed all the way up to eleven. This is the one aspect of the craft he just excels at, beyond the limits of proficiency. It is almost magical how good he is at it.
Then he has two or three skills dialed up to around 8-10. These skills tend to support the skill that he has dialed to eleven. They make this man a well rounded practitioner in his craft and a master at what he does.
After that, there are a number of skills that sit squarely around 5-7. A lot of them are at 5. They are important and foundational but not the focus of this particular masters expression of his craft. He wouldn't be a master without at least a steady grasp of these skills, but they aren't the most important factors in his success.
Then there are skills he only has dialed between 3-4. These are skills that aren't very relevant to his approach but he can still toy around with from time to time if he needs some diverse tools for a unique situation.
Lastly there are one or two skills that are developed only to about 1 or 2. These are skills that he doesn't find very relevant to his style or approach. He can get away with slacking on these because the rest of his skill set is so well-rounded and developed, and he has created success for himself self without having developed these skills much. That said, he is still aware of their relevance to the craft.
What particular skill sets within the craft are dialed to whatever level is what ends up really defining the master's style and approach, as well as his success.
Now, there is always the exception of the virtuoso, he has way more skills dialed up to the higher end of the spectrum. But one does not have to be a virtuoso to master a craft and find success in the field.
So where am I going with this? When you see some "schlub" or "wimp" out with a hottie there are a lot of factors as to why they are together. Sure he may not be some master pick up artist (though he very well could be. How could you know?) but he most likely has some character traits that are dialed up in a manner that has contributed to this particular success.
Yes fundamentals matter, but there are many aspects to the craft and no one fundamental is necessarily more or less important than the next. However, when certain character traits are strong enough, one can also get away with not being the most proficient in some areas. So you can't really judge someone's success by one area all alone. You have to understand there are many factors that lead them to their position.
Also, from the outside we have no way of knowing exactly what dynamics are set up in their relationship. Or what motivated the girl to be with that guy. There are tons of factors that go into it. The culture they are both steeped in, play a factor. As well as the nuances of their personal psychological make and how they relate to each other.
Too many guys look at appearances (not just appearances in terms of looks, but also how behavior appears from the outside looking in), missing the fact that attraction is a current that runs far deeper than what appears on the surface.
To be efficient at something does not require you to be the best at all aspects of that skill set.
This is true for the masters as well. While he definitely has a grasp of all the skill sets that comprise his craft, there are many that he focuses on only rarely, and perhaps isn't even proficient in. This is fine because he is remarkably proficient in other areas of the craft, and in some areas are good at but not the best. Just using those skills as supportive elements.
In terms of ratios, it seems to be something like this (for those who have mastered a craft).
He has one skill dialed all the way up to eleven. This is the one aspect of the craft he just excels at, beyond the limits of proficiency. It is almost magical how good he is at it.
Then he has two or three skills dialed up to around 8-10. These skills tend to support the skill that he has dialed to eleven. They make this man a well rounded practitioner in his craft and a master at what he does.
After that, there are a number of skills that sit squarely around 5-7. A lot of them are at 5. They are important and foundational but not the focus of this particular masters expression of his craft. He wouldn't be a master without at least a steady grasp of these skills, but they aren't the most important factors in his success.
Then there are skills he only has dialed between 3-4. These are skills that aren't very relevant to his approach but he can still toy around with from time to time if he needs some diverse tools for a unique situation.
Lastly there are one or two skills that are developed only to about 1 or 2. These are skills that he doesn't find very relevant to his style or approach. He can get away with slacking on these because the rest of his skill set is so well-rounded and developed, and he has created success for himself self without having developed these skills much. That said, he is still aware of their relevance to the craft.
What particular skill sets within the craft are dialed to whatever level is what ends up really defining the master's style and approach, as well as his success.
Now, there is always the exception of the virtuoso, he has way more skills dialed up to the higher end of the spectrum. But one does not have to be a virtuoso to master a craft and find success in the field.
So where am I going with this? When you see some "schlub" or "wimp" out with a hottie there are a lot of factors as to why they are together. Sure he may not be some master pick up artist (though he very well could be. How could you know?) but he most likely has some character traits that are dialed up in a manner that has contributed to this particular success.
Yes fundamentals matter, but there are many aspects to the craft and no one fundamental is necessarily more or less important than the next. However, when certain character traits are strong enough, one can also get away with not being the most proficient in some areas. So you can't really judge someone's success by one area all alone. You have to understand there are many factors that lead them to their position.
Also, from the outside we have no way of knowing exactly what dynamics are set up in their relationship. Or what motivated the girl to be with that guy. There are tons of factors that go into it. The culture they are both steeped in, play a factor. As well as the nuances of their personal psychological make and how they relate to each other.
Too many guys look at appearances (not just appearances in terms of looks, but also how behavior appears from the outside looking in), missing the fact that attraction is a current that runs far deeper than what appears on the surface.
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Sometimes these hotties have stuff going on you’re not seeing that reduces their value especially for LTR. For example, mental health issues, addictions, not as hot as you think when they’re not dolled up, etc.
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I am from India..... But you are correct guys here aren't dressed well are completely out of shape and also the girls here do their best to look good