Why have I lost the zeal?

[Calibration]

Hey guys,

Some of you might remember me from last year, I used to be active on this forum quite a lot. (With the username @Shawn. I changed it to @Calibration , just to remind myself of it, since that was my biggest sticking point)

Late last year, I felt I was too obsessed with game and thought of taking a long break. I also had a lot of shit to sort out in my life. So, I just quit everything, went on a long holiday, returned and changed my job, car, settled things with my property etc. I'm glad I took time off to settle those things.

I went out to meet chics here and there but not like I used to do the past 3 years. I used to go out daygame every single day, even during COVID lockdowns.

Recently, I thought I should get back and started going out regularly but it's not the same. I don't have that enthusiasm or zeal or motivation that I used to have in the past. It's not approach anxiety cos I'm able to approach without any problem. But I feel very apathetic to have a conversation. I don't feel like continuing to talk after a few mins. In the past, I used to plough and get her to open up and turn things around. Now I can't be bothered doing any of that. I feel old, tired and apathetic. Even if a chic is standing right next to me, I can't be bothered to chat up and hold a conversation.

I thought of posting this a few weeks ago but I thought I'll try different things and if nothing is changing, then I'll post. Here I am.

I can't hold a conversation more than 5 mins. I just feel bored. There's a voice in my head which says, "how long are you going to do this?" "Are you not old now to be chasing pussy?" "Are you not bored of playing the same recording over and over again?" "What's the point of all this?" Etc etc

Regardless I'm trying to push myself to at least go out for a walk. Last week I was out for a walk and I saw a chic who clearly gave me lots of IOI. So, went up to her, had a quick chat of 2-3 mins, took her number, just some basic texting, quick date, brought her back home and she was DTF. But for the life of me, I couldn't get it up. She was hot af. It didn't do me anything. It's still the same apathy. She asked me, what she can do and she was ready to do it. She blew me but nothing worked. I get horny if I spank and told her that and she was down to get spanked which I did a lot. Still nothing.

She said she wasn't attractive and that's why I'm not doing anything etc, which wasn't true at all. I felt sorry for her and went down on her and she orgasmed twice and I wasn't really enjoying it unlike in the past. She said she was ready to do anything to help me get out of my head but I just couldn't do anything.

After this, it has dampened my spirits even more. I went out yesterday and today but I had this recent failure worsen my already lost motivation.
I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing cos unlike in the past, I'm not even horny and needy. I don't have the same libido like in the past. There's some kind of anxiety which reinforces my apathy.

I'm guessing it could be my harmones playing or some shit that I don't know. I got a blood test and everything is normal. I don't know about my T levels but I wake up with a morning wood. So I'm guessing it should be fine. Could it be some sort of masked anxiety?

Has anyone else felt like this? How did you fix it?

 

[Alpha13SC]

How is your stress levels?
Are you working from home?
Is some type of medication you start getting?(or supplements like ash?)
Are you doing something new in your life? (Meditation/therapy etc)

Sounds like a burn out and then you don t feel the same enjoyment from doing it.

 

[Skills]

Hey guys,

Some of you might remember me from last year, I used to be active on this forum quite a lot. (With the username @Shawn. I changed it to @Calibration , just to remind myself of it, since that was my biggest sticking point)

Late last year, I felt I was too obsessed with game and thought of taking a long break. I also had a lot of shit to sort out in my life. So, I just quit everything, went on a long holiday, returned and changed my job, car, settled things with my property etc. I'm glad I took time off to settle those things.

I went out to meet chics here and there but not like I used to do the past 3 years. I used to go out daygame every single day, even during COVID lockdowns.

Recently, I thought I should get back and started going out regularly but it's not the same. I don't have that enthusiasm or zeal or motivation that I used to have in the past. It's not approach anxiety cos I'm able to approach without any problem. But I feel very apathetic to have a conversation. I don't feel like continuing to talk after a few mins. In the past, I used to plough and get her to open up and turn things around. Now I can't be bothered doing any of that. I feel old, tired and apathetic. Even if a chic is standing right next to me, I can't be bothered to chat up and hold a conversation.

I thought of posting this a few weeks ago but I thought I'll try different things and if nothing is changing, then I'll post. Here I am.

I can't hold a conversation more than 5 mins. I just feel bored. There's a voice in my head which says, "how long are you going to do this?" "Are you not old now to be chasing pussy?" "Are you not bored of playing the same recording over and over again?" "What's the point of all this?" Etc etc

Regardless I'm trying to push myself to at least go out for a walk. Last week I was out for a walk and I saw a chic who clearly gave me lots of IOI. So, went up to her, had a quick chat of 2-3 mins, took her number, just some basic texting, quick date, brought her back home and she was DTF. But for the life of me, I couldn't get it up. She was hot af. It didn't do me anything. It's still the same apathy. She asked me, what she can do and she was ready to do it. She blew me but nothing worked. I get horny if I spank and told her that and she was down to get spanked which I did a lot. Still nothing.

She said she wasn't attractive and that's why I'm not doing anything etc, which wasn't true at all. I felt sorry for her and went down on her and she orgasmed twice and I wasn't really enjoying it unlike in the past. She said she was ready to do anything to help me get out of my head but I just couldn't do anything.

After this, it has dampened my spirits even more. I went out yesterday and today but I had this recent failure worsen my already lost motivation.
I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing cos unlike in the past, I'm not even horny and needy. I don't have the same libido like in the past. There's some kind of anxiety which reinforces my apathy.

I'm guessing it could be my harmones playing or some shit that I don't know. I got a blood test and everything is normal. I don't know about my T levels but I wake up with a morning wood. So I'm guessing it should be fine. Could it be some sort of masked anxiety?

Has anyone else felt like this? How did you fix it?

Check your hormones, sounds like signs of low testosterone...

 

[Calibration]

How is your stress levels?

I have a lot going on tbh, with job change and few things happening in my family etc

Are you working from home?

Yes

Is some type of medication you start getting?(or supplements like ash?)

Yes, my GP has prescribed some meds for stress

Are you doing something new in your life? (Meditation/therapy etc)

I don't meditate regularly but sometimes I do. My GP has an in-house therapist and I've seen her a few times

Sounds like a burn out and then you don t feel the same enjoyment from doing it.

I thought the same. On New year's eve, when I was on holiday, I met a chic and due to bad logistics, I couldn't take her back to my place and suggested her place/bathroom but she didn't agree. We were making out heavily and I was fingering her a lot and she was DTF but since I couldn't take her back to mine, she said I was being nervous which I was not, I was just tired and she wouldn't believe me, it rubbed me the wrong way and things got logical after that. Then I booked an expensive hotel nearby to meet again in 2 hrs after the room was ready and she didn't return. I felt burned out and decided to take a long break.

Anyway, how do I get out of this catch-22 burnout situation? I've already taken nearly 2.5 months break.

In the meantime, I'll get my T-levels checked

 

[Skills]

I have a lot going on tbh, with job change and few things happening in my family etc


Yes

Yes, my GP has prescribed some meds for stress

I don't meditate regularly but sometimes I do. My GP has an in-house therapist and I've seen her a few times


I thought the same. On New year's eve, when I was on holiday, I met a chic and due to bad logistics, I couldn't take her back to my place and suggested her place/bathroom but she didn't agree. We were making out heavily and I was fingering her a lot and she was DTF but since I couldn't take her back to mine, she said I was being nervous which I was not, I was just tired and she wouldn't believe me, it rubbed me the wrong way and things got logical after that. Then I booked an expensive hotel nearby to meet again in 2 hrs after the room was ready and she didn't return. I felt burned out and decided to take a long break.

Anyway, how do I get out of this catch-22 burnout situation? I've already taken nearly 2.5 months break.

In the meantime, I'll get my T-levels checked

Yeah look for both overall t and free t, i had really high testosterone but my free t was in the toilet due to keto diet...in other words if you ovrall t is high an your free t low, you will have symptons...

The other thing that looks similar is post break ups people experience similar behaviors...

 

[Calibration]

Yeah look for both overall t and free t, i had really high testosterone but my free t was in the toilet due to keto diet...in other words if you ovrall t is high an your free t low, you will have symptons...

The other thing that looks similar is post break ups people experience similar behaviors...

Keto affects T-levels? I'm on a low-carb diet. Might have some relation. I've just emailed my GP for getting my T-levels checked

 

[Skills]

Keto affects T-levels? I'm on a low-carb diet. Might have some relation. I've just emailed my GP for getting my T-levels checked

When you are on keto or low carb raises somethong called shbg, shbg lowers free t gives you those symptoms happened to @Alpha13SC one time same happened to me...

 

[Will_V]

I also can get a bit apathetic in keto. It gives me a lot of calm and steadiness but my libido loses half its horsepower.
...

If you're dealing with general stress/anxiety that is likely the cause. Something I always remember and repeat to myself is 'anxiety is what happens when you're not doing what you should be doing'. It's like someone down there is throwing spanners in the gears of the machinery just trying to get your attention.

I believe that we as men especially have a concept of ourselves as we expect to be at different points in out life, and most of the time, depression/anxiety is the result of our situation not living up to this concept. Sometimes the concept is the problem (in which case it needs to be reevaluated) and sometimes it's because we're just being lazy cowards and wasting our time. In any case, I can say that every time I've been significantly out of step with my concept (without being on track to recover my position), I've had trouble with maintaining energy around women - either it becomes weak or it becomes contaminated with anger and resentment toward myself. And whenever I'm in step with it, I want to fuck everything that moves and women can feel it.

Women are not the goal of life. They are simply nature's way of giving you a sweet piece of cake when you're living up to your masculine potential. If your life is mess though and someone gives you some cake for being a winner, you're probably going to choke on it. Because it doesn't mean anything, it feels like a fraud.

There are some guys who seem to be able to eat the cake regardless, but for me personally, I use women as a means of constructing myself. Part of my motivation for winning in everything in life is knowing that I'll be able to walk around and fuck women like a winner. And when you're a winner, you don't second guess yourself and start wondering this and that, you just take everything because it belongs to you, and enjoy it because it represents your dominance.

But if you want that then you can't let yourself down in all the other parts of your life, because all those other parts are what contribute to the effusive energy that comes out of you as you walk around taste-testing all the cakes.

 

[Blush]

I also can get a bit apathetic in keto. It gives me a lot of calm and steadiness but my libido loses half its horsepower.
...

If you're dealing with general stress/anxiety that is likely the cause. Something I always remember and repeat to myself is 'anxiety is what happens when you're not doing what you should be doing'. It's like someone down there is throwing spanners in the gears of the machinery just trying to get your attention.

I believe that we as men especially have a concept of ourselves as we expect to be at different points in out life, and most of the time, depression/anxiety is the result of our situation not living up to this concept. Sometimes the concept is the problem (in which case it needs to be reevaluated) and sometimes it's because we're just being lazy cowards and wasting our time. In any case, I can say that every time I've been significantly out of step with my concept (without being on track to recover my position), I've had trouble with maintaining energy around women - either it becomes weak or it becomes contaminated with anger and resentment toward myself. And whenever I'm in step with it, I want to fuck everything that moves and women can feel it.

Women are not the goal of life. They are simply nature's way of giving you a sweet piece of cake when you're living up to your masculine potential. If your life is mess though and someone gives you some cake for being a winner, you're probably going to choke on it. Because it doesn't mean anything, it feels like a fraud.

There are some guys who seem to be able to eat the cake regardless, but for me personally, I use women as a means of constructing myself. Part of my motivation for winning in everything in life is knowing that I'll be able to walk around and fuck women like a winner. And when you're a winner, you don't second guess yourself and start wondering this and that, you just take everything because it belongs to you, and enjoy it because it represents your dominance.

But if you want that then you can't let yourself down in all the other parts of your life, because all those other parts are what contribute to the effusive energy that comes out of you as you walk around taste-testing all the cakes.

I agree, if you feel deep inside of you that you should be somewhere else, doing something else than what you're currently doing, your whole organism will sooner or later suffer.

However, I really admire the seducers who carry real skill, and who can apply those skills wherever and whenever, DESPITE being out of the zone, despite being sad, poor, going through troubles etc.

I see it like all other skills. Take a writer for example, a productive one, making a living writing novels. He will of course have moments when he's in the zone and everything just works. But he will also have moments when his life is in complete chaos. He will be depressed, suffer losses, be heartbroken, get bothered by health issues etc, because life happens. But the truly skilled writer will NOT STOP WRITING because of this. Neither will he lose his experience and competence in the art of writing, he will pick it up every morning and keep it up. When you truly master something, you should be able to almost instinctively go through the motions you know will work, regardless of how much the rest of your life burdens you at the moment. Getting there of course requires lots of work, lots of willpower and love for the craft, but having a skill that won't leave you even when everything around you breaks down, that's one of the most valuable assets there is in this life imo.

When it comes to being a good seducer even when times are tough, a real source of inspiration for me has always been the character Thomas O'Malley in The Aristocats. He's a bum, he has nowhere to live, no grand plan he's implementing, no online financial course he's launching. He just loves life, loves other people, and loves to have a good time. And women (cats) love him. He has nothing to offer but himself, and they get drawn into his warm, hedonistic and fun way of seeing things. Arizzocat!
https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/everybody-wants-to-bone-a-cat

But getting to the same state as Thomas O'Malley is not easy at all times. If one would try to get scientifical about it, maybe you could describe him as being in a very "high dopamine state". Good music, good friends, sunlight, good food, being in nature, he does all of that stuff. He seeks the generative pleasures in life, and wants to share them with others.

 

[Alpha13SC]

I have a lot going on tbh, with job change and few things happening in my family etc

Right now I don t see stress as being too much s factor if you feel like you can handle it.


Does that transfer to emotional stress as well? Because that s messed up

Yes

This is something that affects me sometimes. I need to have people around me, women as well, esp hot women.
It turns on your killer instinct, and if you sense a masculine presence as well, even better, makes you competitive.

That thing with "the real competition is in the mirror" although so much truth in it, sometimes it s bullshit. You need to dominate

Yes, my GP has prescribed some meds for stress

Yeah, better to do something with this as fast as possible. This might be a cause. Can make you too chill/apathic to the stimulus from environment.

I don't meditate regularly but sometimes I do. My GP has an in-house therapist and I've seen her a few times


I thought the same. On New year's eve, when I was on holiday, I met a chic and due to bad logistics, I couldn't take her back to my place and suggested her place/bathroom but she didn't agree. We were making out heavily and I was fingering her a lot and she was DTF but since I couldn't take her back to mine, she said I was being nervous which I was not, I was just tired and she wouldn't believe me, it rubbed me the wrong way and things got logical after that. Then I booked an expensive hotel nearby to meet again in 2 hrs after the room was ready and she didn't return. I felt burned out and decided to take a long break.

Anyway, how do I get out of this catch-22 burnout situation? I've already taken nearly 2.5 months break.

Holidays. Do you have a hobby?

Felt like that before. One month ago I went to do some rock climbing in the winter. More difficult than in the summer plus it s a lot of effort. Then went to do some winter sports.

Came back with a lot of energy and my sex drive was through the roof.

I think there s something ingrained in men where mental + psychical struggle challenge you to get to the next level.

In the meantime, I'll get my T-levels checked

Also sleep and sun exposure does wonders.

 

[Beck Bass]

Recently, I thought I should get back and started going out regularly but it's not the same. I don't have that enthusiasm or zeal or motivation that I used to have in the past. It's not approach anxiety cos I'm able to approach without any problem. But I feel very apathetic to have a conversation. I don't feel like continuing to talk after a few mins. In the past, I used to plough and get her to open up and turn things around. Now I can't be bothered doing any of that. I feel old, tired and apathetic. Even if a chic is standing right next to me, I can't be bothered to chat up and hold a conversation.

Resonates a lot with me after breaking up with my ex...

I can't hold a conversation more than 5 mins. I just feel bored. There's a voice in my head which says, "how long are you going to do this?" "Are you not old now to be chasing pussy?" "Are you not bored of playing the same recording over and over again?" "What's the point of all this?" Etc etc

All bullshit, and you know it. Prove the voice wrong!

I'm guessing it could be my harmones playing or some shit that I don't know. I got a blood test and everything is normal. I don't know about my T levels but I wake up with a morning wood.

You should be normal then, but I was also waking up horny, then failing to feel the drive to approach girls much or getting hard with girls. In my case, it was clearly a blockage from my feelings for my ex and for game in general, like what is the point of approaching other girls
if I only like her but we don't really work out... Which is all a messed up jumbo mumbo that's very far away from the truth (and lacks detail... The devil is in the detail, truth is only truth when you see the whole).

Maybe you need to reavaluate your core beliefs about dating, women, game, society, and all that. Like really ask yourself "why do I even wanna approach women"? You also have to let the horniness take over. You can't force yourself too much to approach if you really don't feel like it, it's like shoving down salad the throat of a kid that says that hates it, it will only make it hate more. All you can do is leave the salad there, and try to make it as appealing as possible... In the case of women, it's mostly just waiting for you to get inspired to approach a woman you really, really like, like a beautiful that's really your type and looks approacheable for you. Maybe it doesn't go your way, but then you see there's women worth the effort out there, and your will to get girls comes back again.

Hopefully something of this helps!
Good luck

(Btw I remember there was a Shawn here, but I don't quite remember who you were... I was trying to remember your avatar, I surely can't remember any rraris here lol)

 

[Calibration]

I also can get a bit apathetic in keto. It gives me a lot of calm and steadiness but my libido loses half its horsepower.
...

If you're dealing with general stress/anxiety that is likely the cause. Something I always remember and repeat to myself is 'anxiety is what happens when you're not doing what you should be doing'. It's like someone down there is throwing spanners in the gears of the machinery just trying to get your attention.

I believe that we as men especially have a concept of ourselves as we expect to be at different points in out life, and most of the time, depression/anxiety is the result of our situation not living up to this concept. Sometimes the concept is the problem (in which case it needs to be reevaluated) and sometimes it's because we're just being lazy cowards and wasting our time. In any case, I can say that every time I've been significantly out of step with my concept (without being on track to recover my position), I've had trouble with maintaining energy around women - either it becomes weak or it becomes contaminated with anger and resentment toward myself. And whenever I'm in step with it, I want to fuck everything that moves and women can feel it.

Women are not the goal of life. They are simply nature's way of giving you a sweet piece of cake when you're living up to your masculine potential. If your life is mess though and someone gives you some cake for being a winner, you're probably going to choke on it. Because it doesn't mean anything, it feels like a fraud.

There are some guys who seem to be able to eat the cake regardless, but for me personally, I use women as a means of constructing myself. Part of my motivation for winning in everything in life is knowing that I'll be able to walk around and fuck women like a winner. And when you're a winner, you don't second guess yourself and start wondering this and that, you just take everything because it belongs to you, and enjoy it because it represents your dominance.

But if you want that then you can't let yourself down in all the other parts of your life, because all those other parts are what contribute to the effusive energy that comes out of you as you walk around taste-testing all the cakes.

Interesting insight. Although for me, what I've noticed is, I can't focus on multiple things at the same time. The last 2 months, I didn't even think about chics and I got a lot done in my personal life. Chase has an article about something like this.

However, my goal would be to be able to do everything without getting hung up on one thing. Compared to several years ago, I think I've gotten better now, in this regard.

However, I really admire the seducers who carry real skill, and who can apply those skills wherever and whenever, DESPITE being out of the zone, despite being sad, poor, going through troubles etc.

Yeah, this is what I aim for. More than anything, if I try to chase pussy while I have other things to worry about, my mind constantly reminds me to get serious in life. Don't know where that comes from. Maybe it's the parent in me having grown up with strict parents. (Transactional analysis)

https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/everybody-wants-to-bone-a-cat

But getting to the same state as Thomas O'Malley is not easy at all times. If one would try to get scientifical about it, maybe you could describe him as being in a very "high dopamine state". Good music, good friends, sunlight, good food, being in nature, he does all of that stuff. He seeks the generative pleasures in life, and wants to share them with others.

Like Hank Moody from Californication. I hadn't watched it and with a lot of pressure from a friend, watched it recently. It's one of the best shows I've watched in a long time. Except for the ending, which made me think a lot, I think the rest of the series was a delight to watch.

Right now I don t see stress as being too much s factor if you feel like you can handle it.


Does that transfer to emotional stress as well? Because that s messed up

In the past I was able to compartmentalize them but in the past 2 months, I've not been able to. That's why I was bit bummed and in fact embarrassed with the chic I was with, when I couldn't get it up. It was the first time ever that happened with me. I used to finish quickly long time ago but this was worse.

This is something that affects me sometimes. I need to have people around me, women as well, esp hot women.
It turns on your killer instinct, and if you sense a masculine presence as well, even better, makes you competitive.

True. I've noticed this too. When I'm having a lot of friends around and having a vibrant social life, it quickly translates to me seduction life. But these days I'm not having time for social life.

That thing with "the real competition is in the mirror" although so much truth in it, sometimes it s bullshit. You need to dominate


Yeah, better to do something with this as fast as possible. This might be a cause. Can make you too chill/apathic to the stimulus from environment.


Holidays. Do you have a hobby?

These days I'm not doing much Tbh. I got busy with things in life and friends stopped inviting me to anything.

Felt like that before. One month ago I went to do some rock climbing in the winter. More difficult than in the summer plus it s a lot of effort. Then went to do some winter sports.

Came back with a lot of energy and my sex drive was through the roof.

I think there s something ingrained in men where mental + psychical struggle challenge you to get to the next level.



Also sleep and sun exposure does wonders.

It has become a vicious cycle of not sleeping well affecting my energy levels during the day which in turn affects my sleep at night. Not sure how to break out of this cycle.

Resonates a lot with me after breaking up with my ex...

I've not had an ex in a long time. So definitely not this. Lol

All bullshit, and you know it. Prove the voice wrong!

I needed this. Thanks

You should be normal then, but I was also waking up horny, then failing to feel the drive to approach girls much or getting hard with girls. In my case, it was clearly a blockage from my feelings for my ex and for game in general, like what is the point of approaching other girls
if I only like her but we don't really work out... Which is all a messed up jumbo mumbo that's very far away from the truth (and lacks detail... The devil is in the detail, truth is only truth when you see the whole).

Maybe you need to reavaluate your core beliefs about dating, women, game, society, and all that. Like really ask yourself "why do I even wanna approach women"? You also have to let the horniness take over. You can't force yourself too much to approach if you really don't feel like it, it's like shoving down salad the throat of a kid that says that hates it, it will only make it hate more. All you can do is leave the salad there, and try to make it as appealing as possible... In the case of women, it's mostly just waiting for you to get inspired to approach a woman you really, really like, like a beautiful that's really your type and looks approacheable for you. Maybe it doesn't go your way, but then you see there's women worth the effort out there, and your will to get girls comes back again.

I like this. I'm able to relate very well with what you're saying. These days since I'm not feeling horny, my approaches comes across very robotic. My game is mostly physical - lots of kino, eye-contact, facial expressions etc. But since I don't feel that horniness anymore, I'm unable to exude that sexual energy from my eyes, which chics see it as incongruent with what I'm saying.

I'm seeing my GP next Tuesday. I'll discuss everything with him including my libido, T-levels, free T etc. Hopefully things will improve.

This is actually funny in a way cos last year, I used to be so fucking horny all the time. I'd come across super needy. Now I've become the opposite.

Hopefully something of this helps!
Good luck

(Btw I remember there was a Shawn here, but I don't quite remember who you were... I was trying to remember your avatar, I surely can't remember any rraris here lol)

Yep, I changed the avatar too, it used to be a chess board

 

[Conquistador]

It has become a vicious cycle of not sleeping well affecting my energy levels during the day which in turn affects my sleep at night. Not sure how to break out of this cycle.

Try a combination of the following:
-Fix your sleeping environment.
-Avoid screens and bright light starting as early as possible.
-Meditate.
-Use OTC supplements. Don’t do it every night or your system will get used to it.
-Have tea or one cup of coffee in the morning. Wait at least an hour after waking up so your brain can do housekeeping like flushing adenosine (caffeine blocks adenosine receptors, which are the brain’s main “tachometer”.
-If your internal clock is shifted, go one night without sleep. If you can, fast intermittently and take a cold shower while doing so as I find that that blunts the short-term effects of low or no sleep.
-Do what it takes to be organized and happy.

 

[Will_V]

I agree, if you feel deep inside of you that you should be somewhere else, doing something else than what you're currently doing, your whole organism will sooner or later suffer.

However, I really admire the seducers who carry real skill, and who can apply those skills wherever and whenever, DESPITE being out of the zone, despite being sad, poor, going through troubles etc.

I see it like all other skills. Take a writer for example, a productive one, making a living writing novels. He will of course have moments when he's in the zone and everything just works. But he will also have moments when his life is in complete chaos. He will be depressed, suffer losses, be heartbroken, get bothered by health issues etc, because life happens. But the truly skilled writer will NOT STOP WRITING because of this. Neither will he lose his experience and competence in the art of writing, he will pick it up every morning and keep it up. When you truly master something, you should be able to almost instinctively go through the motions you know will work, regardless of how much the rest of your life burdens you at the moment. Getting there of course requires lots of work, lots of willpower and love for the craft, but having a skill that won't leave you even when everything around you breaks down, that's one of the most valuable assets there is in this life imo.

When it comes to being a good seducer even when times are tough, a real source of inspiration for me has always been the character Thomas O'Malley in The Aristocats. He's a bum, he has nowhere to live, no grand plan he's implementing, no online financial course he's launching. He just loves life, loves other people, and loves to have a good time. And women (cats) love him. He has nothing to offer but himself, and they get drawn into his warm, hedonistic and fun way of seeing things. Arizzocat!
https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/everybody-wants-to-bone-a-cat

But getting to the same state as Thomas O'Malley is not easy at all times. If one would try to get scientifical about it, maybe you could describe him as being in a very "high dopamine state". Good music, good friends, sunlight, good food, being in nature, he does all of that stuff. He seeks the generative pleasures in life, and wants to share them with others.

Good points, everyone's got a different reason for doing things. It is a skill just like any other.

For me the satisfaction of seduction is very much about self-expression and the experience of desire, and I've never really wanted it to become something I do as a profession. I know that the energy of my self-expression comes from my identity and how I live my life according to my own personal concept of who I am. There's no concept that's 'right' or ideal, and obviously it varies greatly from person to person.

The important thing is not to neglect that concept while pursuing pleasure. Of course, if someone's concept of themselves is rooted in being a master of seduction, then it's hard to neglect that while pursuing women. But if not, it's very easy for seduction to become something used to escape having to deal with that concept - the same way it happens in any kind of distraction. And when that happens the mind can start to have trouble maintaining its internal state and managing its energy.

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Hey guys,

Some of you might remember me from last year, I used to be active on this forum quite a lot. (With the username @Shawn. I changed it to @Calibration , just to remind myself of it, since that was my biggest sticking point)

Late last year, I felt I was too obsessed with game and thought of taking a long break. I also had a lot of shit to sort out in my life. So, I just quit everything, went on a long holiday, returned and changed my job, car, settled things with my property etc. I'm glad I took time off to settle those things.

I went out to meet chics here and there but not like I used to do the past 3 years. I used to go out daygame every single day, even during COVID lockdowns.

Recently, I thought I should get back and started going out regularly but it's not the same. I don't have that enthusiasm or zeal or motivation that I used to have in the past. It's not approach anxiety cos I'm able to approach without any problem. But I feel very apathetic to have a conversation. I don't feel like continuing to talk after a few mins. In the past, I used to plough and get her to open up and turn things around. Now I can't be bothered doing any of that. I feel old, tired and apathetic. Even if a chic is standing right next to me, I can't be bothered to chat up and hold a conversation.

I thought of posting this a few weeks ago but I thought I'll try different things and if nothing is changing, then I'll post. Here I am.

I can't hold a conversation more than 5 mins. I just feel bored. There's a voice in my head which says, "how long are you going to do this?" "Are you not old now to be chasing pussy?" "Are you not bored of playing the same recording over and over again?" "What's the point of all this?" Etc etc

Regardless I'm trying to push myself to at least go out for a walk. Last week I was out for a walk and I saw a chic who clearly gave me lots of IOI. So, went up to her, had a quick chat of 2-3 mins, took her number, just some basic texting, quick date, brought her back home and she was DTF. But for the life of me, I couldn't get it up. She was hot af. It didn't do me anything. It's still the same apathy. She asked me, what she can do and she was ready to do it. She blew me but nothing worked. I get horny if I spank and told her that and she was down to get spanked which I did a lot. Still nothing.

She said she wasn't attractive and that's why I'm not doing anything etc, which wasn't true at all. I felt sorry for her and went down on her and she orgasmed twice and I wasn't really enjoying it unlike in the past. She said she was ready to do anything to help me get out of my head but I just couldn't do anything.

After this, it has dampened my spirits even more. I went out yesterday and today but I had this recent failure worsen my already lost motivation.
I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing cos unlike in the past, I'm not even horny and needy. I don't have the same libido like in the past. There's some kind of anxiety which reinforces my apathy.

I'm guessing it could be my harmones playing or some shit that I don't know. I got a blood test and everything is normal. I don't know about my T levels but I wake up with a morning wood. So I'm guessing it should be fine. Could it be some sort of masked anxiety?

Has anyone else felt like this? How did you fix it?

I treat this as a hobby. I’m just going to throw the Warhammer 40 000 reference because that’s the hobby your story makes me relate too.

I use to play Warhammer right when fourth edition came out. Maccrage had been decimated by the Tyranid menace which wiped out the entire first company. Third War for Armegeddon etc…etc…

I use to spend a lot of time painting these miniatures and going to play the game at my local hobby shop. Spent huge sums of money and a huge amount of time I did love the hobby.

At one point I got sick, was hospitalized and just stopped doing my hobby. I think part of my younger self, *[Eighteen or Nineteen] had bought into the hype that guys who were nerds were never going to get laid. *[This was when going to a comic shop.women gaming and League Of Legends were not in existence yet as a good throw back]

Five years ago I started a “touch and go” part of the hobby. My old army, *[All armies] were being replaced with fine cast so I bought a catalogue of the old lead miniatures *[month after month of eBay scouring/Craigslist] and now the miniatures sit in a case at my house.

I get great joy fiddling around with them, sometimes I take them out of the case, I keep up with the literature, I whine about how the game is now instead of being what it once was etc….

Same thing with game, while I don’t go out and religiously spend hours with it, I do always remember the one two punch and more commonly remember that women will piss there pants in front of a man with game.

Perhaps you should start looking for charity dinner galas, fitness classes and new hobbies. I always find women hovering around me when I talk about my rose gardens and furniture decorating. Though I wouldn’t say the same about my Warhammer

Hope this helps
MuSt0

 

[Calibration]

I treat this as a hobby. I’m just going to throw the Warhammer 40 000 reference because that’s the hobby your story makes me relate too.

I use to play Warhammer right when fourth edition came out. Maccrage had been decimated by the Tyranid menace which wiped out the entire first company. Third War for Armegeddon etc…etc…

I use to spend a lot of time painting these miniatures and going to play the game at my local hobby shop. Spent huge sums of money and a huge amount of time I did love the hobby.

At one point I got sick, was hospitalized and just stopped doing my hobby. I think part of my younger self, *[Eighteen or Nineteen] had bought into the hype that guys who were nerds were never going to get laid. *[This was when going to a comic shop.women gaming and League Of Legends were not in existence yet as a good throw back]

Five years ago I started a “touch and go” part of the hobby. My old army, *[All armies] were being replaced with fine cast so I bought a catalogue of the old lead miniatures *[month after month of eBay scouring/Craigslist] and now the miniatures sit in a case at my house.

I get great joy fiddling around with them, sometimes I take them out of the case, I keep up with the literature, I whine about how the game is now instead of being what it once was etc….

Same thing with game, while I don’t go out and religiously spend hours with it, I do always remember the one two punch and more commonly remember that women will piss there pants in front of a man with game.

Perhaps you should start looking for charity dinner galas, fitness classes and new hobbies. I always find women hovering around me when I talk about my rose gardens and furniture decorating. Though I wouldn’t say the same about my Warhammer

Hope this helps
MuSt0

Yes, it did. In fact, I've been on a socializing spree from the past week and I've been an "Yes man" and it seems to be helping.

Although I'm not feeling the same horniness (which I'm going to discuss with my GP tomorrow) my conversation skills seems to have gained momentum again.

Hopefully, I'll get back in the game soon.