Long-Term Why I talk about fight club and i think otherwise is silly!

[Skills]

The recent events of @Beam here made me write this post here are 3 camps of seducers part of the community:

- Camp 1.- one says never discuss, talk or let anybody know you are part of the seduction community.- this has been explain to me by multiple guys and i still don't get it...

- Camp 2.- guys that let women know they are in the seduction community.- I don't see anything wrong with our community I was proud when i was a natural, i am proud when i fully embrace the community...

-camp 3.- guys that are in the seduction community and as soon as they get a girl leave, denounce and even turn on the community... Cause they are scare of the woman...

Listen to some of my relationships so you could get my analogy:

- I dated a Christian doctor for 3 years.- when i moved in with her, rent free of course, back then there was no internet porn like now, you used to get the vhs.... Though i was back then alpha and in control, she did not like me watching porn due to her christianity...... So i just hid the porn, and used to sneaky and hide it in different places in the appt. After this i said never again doing shit like this.... if i want to watch porno i will watch porno, if the girl does not like it, she is not the girl for me.

- I dated an Eastern European girl, again even though i was in control of the relationship and alpha she did not want me clubbing..... I was miserable, i said never ever again will i date a girl that try to control when i am going to clubs... i want to go to clubs whenever i want, whoever dates me need to accept this.

- I dated a girl that wanted to be with me 24/7 glue to me, super possessive and jealous.... It felt like work being with her.... I said i will never again date a girl were i have to feel force or obligated to do what i don't feel like doing never again....


^ all this quote on quote mini failures (though they were not i am nitpicking on some stuff to make the point) make me a more boundary type guy, me first guy....By the time i dated Tomi lahren light that hated the seducers and the community, it was easy peachy, to the point that she became soooo numb and just accepted it, she would even indirectly like all the psychology stuff, she CAME TO MY WORLD AND FRAME.... here is my point:

When i meet a girl she knows I am going CLUBBING ALONE, none negotiable
I will watch porn if i want to, none negotiable
I will be with you if i want to, if not i need me time i am a sigma, need tons of time alone (which is why i much enjoy the community, i am dealing with people, women, biz all they long) which is why i lean towards more no talking phisical game, more of a virtual forum type of community (not talking), texting etc... Cause i am all day talking to clients, last thing i want to do at a club or at home is talk to females... (all the girls in my life know all this)
I am part of the men self improvement, relationship, and social dynamics community (easy to reframe)
I will have women (female friends wink wink) in my life none negotiable...

skills get to the point....., How do you have seducers that are married and moderators and the wife have no idea they are part of the community (what can of relationship is this, is a double life)

when you have women home, what do you do, hide the books, hide the computer, get off the phone fast when typing on the forum, close the computer when she comes out of the shower.... I mean the main, fuck buddies, etc... they sleep over... I still don't get it....

Why is so complex and weird to tell your women that you are in self improvement community.... What is the huge deal... (again the only problem i have is the lay and field reports and journals i know this could be a problem).... Women don't even care about this stuff unless they are true love obsessed and got let go and go into temporary hurt and insanity).....

I am actually never had issues telling women i am part of the community ever, not even with the girl of fra (i took care of that in literally 5 minutes) and that was totally on me, cause i did a video for beam using electronic candles she gave me that week with another girl.

I am genuinely curious how a lot of you have girlfriends, fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and you guys hide the computer, the seduction books, when you are listening to youtube and audiobooks, etc... Specially coaches, pwf girlfriend know, mytery gf knows, style gf knows, all my gfs, fbs knew, rsd tyler gfs know, all the rsd guys gf know.... Red pillers out of all people gfs know.....

Guys that hide your involvement in the community, if you can give me an example on how you navigate on a particular day with the women you are fucking (assuming you guys are fucking women, cause the women i am fucking most of the time sleep over, stay over etc...)

^ and why you have to hide and live a double life, i still don't get this, at the same time you guys mock will smith for similar type behavior.... (yes i read all those responses to beam but i literally can't relate at all on hiding your hobbie)

 

[topcat]

The recent events of @Beam here made me write this post here are 3 camps of seducers part of the community:

- Camp 1.- one says never discuss, talk or let anybody know you are part of the seduction community.- this has been explain to me by multiple guys and i still don't get it...

- Camp 2.- guys that let women know they are in the seduction community.- I don't see anything wrong with our community I was proud when i was a natural, i am proud when i fully embrace the community...

-camp 3.- guys that are in the seduction community and as soon as they get a girl leave, denounce and even turn on the community... Cause they are scare of the woman...

Listen to some of my relationships so you could get my analogy:

- I dated a Christian doctor for 3 years.- when i moved in with her, rent free of course, back then there was no internet porn like now, you used to get the vhs.... Though i was back then alpha and in control, she did not like me watching porn due to her christianity...... So i just hid the porn, and used to sneaky and hide it in different places in the appt. After this i said never again doing shit like this.... if i want to watch porno i will watch porno, if the girl does not like it, she is not the girl for me.

- I dated an Eastern European girl, again even though i was in control of the relationship and alpha she did not want me clubbing..... I was miserable, i said never ever again will i date a girl that try to control when i am going to clubs... i want to go to clubs whenever i want, whoever dates me need to accept this.

- I dated a girl that wanted to be with me 24/7 glue to me, super possessive and jealous.... It felt like work being with her.... I said i will never again date a girl were i have to feel force or obligated to do what i don't feel like doing never again....


^ all this quote on quote mini failures (though they were not i am nitpicking on some stuff to make the point) make me a more boundary type guy, me first guy....By the time i dated Tomi lahren light that hated the seducers and the community, it was easy peachy, to the point that she became soooo numb and just accepted it, she would even indirectly like all the psychology stuff, she CAME TO MY WORLD AND FRAME.... here is my point:

When i meet a girl she knows I am going CLUBBING ALONE, none negotiable
I will watch porn if i want to, none negotiable
I will be with you if i want to, if not i need me time i am a sigma, need tons of time alone (which is why i much enjoy the community, i am dealing with people, women, biz all they long) which is why i lean towards more no talking phisical game, more of a virtual forum type of community (not talking), texting etc... Cause i am all day talking to clients, last thing i want to do at a club or at home is talk to females... (all the girls in my life know all this)
I am part of the men self improvement, relationship, and social dynamics community (easy to reframe)
I will have women (female friends wink wink) in my life none negotiable...

skills get to the point....., How do you have seducers that are married and moderators and the wife have no idea they are part of the community (what can of relationship is this, is a double life)

when you have women home, what do you do, hide the books, hide the computer, get off the phone fast when typing on the forum, close the computer when she comes out of the shower.... I mean the main, fuck buddies, etc... they sleep over... I still don't get it....

Why is so complex and weird to tell your women that you are in self improvement community.... What is the huge deal... (again the only problem i have is the lay and field reports and journals i know this could be a problem).... Women don't even care about this stuff unless they are true love obsessed and got let go and go into temporary hurt and insanity).....

I am actually never had issues telling women i am part of the community ever, not even with the girl of fra (i took care of that in literally 5 minutes) and that was totally on me, cause i did a video for beam using electronic candles she gave me that week with another girl.

I am genuinely curious how a lot of you have girlfriends, fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and you guys hide the computer, the seduction books, when you are listening to youtube and audiobooks, etc... Specially coaches, pwf girlfriend know, mytery gf knows, style gf knows, all my gfs, fbs knew, rsd tyler gfs know, all the rsd guys gf know.... Red pillers out of all people gfs know.....

Guys that hide your involvement in the community, if you can give me an example on how you navigate on a particular day with the women you are fucking (assuming you guys are fucking women, cause the women i am fucking most of the time sleep over, stay over etc...)

^ and why you have to hide and live a double life, i still don't get this, at the same time you guys mock will smith for similar type behavior.... (yes i read all those responses to beam but i literally can't relate at all on hiding your hobbie)

not hiding per se, it’s just none of their business. i don’t volunteer information that has nothing to do with the two of us. i’m like that with a lot of things in my life. have been since a child - i only tell ppl what they need to know, usually keep ppl at arms length as that comes naturally. there’s a lot my lovers don’t know about me tbh. If they found out, yeah cool i’m part of a self improvement community, not scared just doesn’t need speaking about. You get me?

my phone and computer, girls never use that. nobody does really but me. how would they find out? and when i’m with them why would i be on girlschase?
mltr found porn on my phone once while i was typing it auto filled the search bar. i just showed her the porn i was into, but never volunteered the info. No need, none of her business.

 

[Train]

not hiding per se, it’s just none of their business. i don’t volunteer information that has nothing to do with the two of us. i’m like that with a lot of things in my life. have been since a child - i only tell ppl what they need to know, usually keep ppl at arms length as that comes naturally. there’s a lot my lovers don’t know about me tbh. If they found out, yeah cool i’m part of a self improvement community, not scared just doesn’t need speaking about. You get me?

my phone and computer, girls never use that. nobody does really but me. how would they find out? and when i’m with them why would i be on girlschase?
mltr found porn on my phone once while i was typing it auto filled the search bar. i just showed her the porn i was into, but never volunteered the info. No need, none of her business.

Agreed on not volunteering more than one needs too.

Back on my Mark Manson vulnerability phase, I found oversharing could be powerful for making deep connections. But at the same time, I volunteered too much information that people then leveraged against me for their own needs.

This seduction material I keep to myself due to all the stigma around it. At best, I'll reference it as "self help".

 

[Beam]

I'm similar to others here in that it's not something I've ever brought up and have only revealed now with my girlfriend since she discovered it and forced my hand. At times when daygaming I'd get shittested on if I approached girls regularly or if I was a PUA , I was very good at making what I was doing seem socially normal while also giving me points for boldness - "online was fun, but I started seeing so many attractive girls out and about that I thought, why not strike up a conversation?" instead of the fact that I only found out DG was a thing from pickup forums/sites.

I guess I've now seen a limitation of this approach particularly if girls start becoming more ingrained in your life with more regularity, because naturally she will discover more about your past as time goes on. Though in my case I was careless.

In an ideal world I'd love to be open about this, but in reality I'm hesitant, for a couple of reasons.

Skills, you've been doing this for a long long time. You're high level, in control in your relationships and the bedroom. The best guy a lot of your girls have ever met I'm sure. When your frame is that strong, women know that you're the real deal and that pickup is a huge part of what got you there. Being open about it in this case would be more straightforward.

For guys still on the way up, who still haven't internalized everything yet, to me it seems trickier. Naturally when you're getting better at something, you'll stumble a bit at first, and eventually get it. If you're in this position and your girl knows you're into pickup, would this not lead her to start questioning you every time you try to establish your frame in the relationship? That's the thing with my girl now - it's like, if I read about a concept here, like dread game, or something else, and attempt to implement it in the relationship, I may mishandle it because I haven't done it before. If she didn't know about pickup, she might pass it off as me being a bit aloof or distracted perhaps. Now, she might think it's me reading up about how to get what I want out of the relationship and trying to manipulate things in my favor. There's definitely an element of trust there that has been severed.

She has told me (and I've called her out on this, don't worry) that now she doesn't know where I start and where PUA begins, and that she can't trust the early experiences she had with me. Example, the Cube. I played this with her, told her a friend of mine told me about it when she asked how I found out about it. Now she knows it's a pickup game it took away the magic of it, that it didn't feel special anymore. I told her that everyone has fun interesting games they play on dates to make things interesting. That it was like swiping on tinder 100 times. You have to repeat some things over and over until you find someone you truly click with.

If on the second date when we played the Cube and she asked where I found out about it, I couldn't exactly say "on a pickup forum" or be honest about my involvement in the community. I would have never seen her again. I guess it goes without saying that you wouldn't be honest about your involvement in the community before having slept with her but correct me if I'm wrong...

But even then, after you sleep with her, there could be consequences like I am seeing right now, with her retroactively questioning the experiences she has had to date, particularly due to the negative perceptions of pickup in society nowadays, where many see it as manipulative.

It could colour her perception of you.

But you're right, hiding this is stressful, having to hide it for the rest of your life from a SO, even more stressful. It does feel like a small weight has been lifted of my shoulders now that she knows. I'm still going to never bring up the topic on my own again, and if she brings it up, talk about it in terms of self development/levelling up your attractiveness which I have been trying to do.

It does feel a little annoying having your partner know about LMR, the game etc. Feels like part of the magic I've tried to create in this relationship of me being this bold, confident man is gone forever. Although, I have told her that only a fraction of the guys who find this stuff (most of the the male population at one point or another I'm sure) have the balls to go out and actually do it. So you can still gain respect by distinguishing yourself even after she finds out I guess...

 

[Chase]

@Skills,

I agree with your three camps, yeah.

As for why you wouldn’t want a woman to know this stuff… and what that looks like day-to-day…


WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHARE? SHARING IS CARING…

My journey was the opposite of yours. I was open about all this stuff in the beginning. I also had some super sexually open-minded non-possessive chicks as FWBs. It didn’t take me long to realize this was not what I wanted.

Re: types of women, different guys have preferences… and I just do not value the “do whatever you want, I don’t care, I don’t have any opinion on it, you do you, man” hippie-like chicks… these chicks just strike me as not having any real standards and/or they haven’t realized what they have in me enough to get a little jealous, which means they might have brain damage or something… either way I don’t really like having those types of girls around. Just generally I will take it an indication that the girl’s mate value is lower than I thought and now I am wasting my time shagging a low value chick who knows she’s low value (otherwise she would be trying to lay her claim on me).

I like a girl getting a little jealous and trying to dissuade me from doing stuff that will lead to me shagging other girls… no girl is going to get me to not do something I want to do just because she doesn’t like it, but this is just normal, healthy female behavior you’d expect from a girl who values herself and is in a pair-bond. If it isn’t there, something is wrong, either with what I’m doing or with the girl…

But then once you are dating girls like that and you have stopped shagging sexually open / laid back chicks except in ONS, suddenly you have girls who are opposed to you being involved in pickup, who will tell you they “don’t like it”, “don’t agree with it”, who sulk when they know you are going out to the club, whether it is you rolling solo or with a guy they know is also a PUA.

You get stretches of sulking with periodic dramatic outbursts, which I can handle… I can easily handle any drama; a woman can throw a planet of drama at me and I can handle it… but after a while dealing with it over and over again, where you resolve the drama and reframe something she is framing as bad as something good, then a few days later she’s back to seeing it as bad again and you have to reframe it as good again, ad infinitum, you start feeling like Sisyphus forever pushing the boulder uphill.

The other thing that happens is sometimes if you date a girl long enough, women always bring their views increasingly in alignment with their man’s, and if she knows you are into pickup, even if she started out as a conservative girl, a few years in you start getting her “considering” all the things she knows you think in a more positive light.

Then you get issues from another direction… she is talking about open relationships; she is wanting to go out clubbing with her girlfriends; she is reading female game sites; and suddenly this sweet girlfriend you had has become the type of girl you specifically avoided dating in the first place because you don’t like those kinds of girls and it is exposure to YOU that has turned her into it.

It was a running joke with a good friend of mine for a while that I turned good girls into nymphos, except it was not a joke to me, it was a curse. A PUA curse…

The last time this happened to me I decided, “Enough… I am not talking about pickup with women ever again.”

Which was not an easy decision because I am a talker; I like to talk about things to people. I like to just open my mouth and let it all flow out, tell the stories, tell my rationales, and be very open about all of it.

But either I was going to have to date women I didn’t want, or I was going to have to resign myself to perpetual drama + girls transforming from girls I wanted into girls I didn’t want, or I was going to have to just keep a lid on PUA and act like my natural buddies all did, where basically you are just some guy, you didn’t really study any of this stuff, you just like talking to people, and if something happens, well hey! But it is not like you planned it or anything… and heck, going out with friends, that is just going out with the boys, every guy needs some time with the boys. Etc., etc.


DAY IN THE LIFE OF

Since I got into pickup I have had maybe 3-4 months total time when I did not have any kind of ongoing sexual relationship with a girl. There is always at least one woman in my life. I have spent a not-insignificant time living with girls too. It has not been a problem for me being in PUA, going out to pickup, being on forums, shooting videos, and even running a PUA company, which women do not know about, despite it getting 55 million visits over its 14 years and at one time being in the top 20,000 websites on the Earth.

Here is the secret: have an office, and lock the door. Simple, right?

I play video games sometimes. Haven’t played them in half a year or so now, but sometimes I’ll go on binges. If I’m doing that, it is in the office with the door locked too. I don’t tell women I’m not… sometimes they will even ask if I am working and they can come in, and I will just tell them, “Babe, I need some relaxation time and am going to play video games. I don’t think it’s healthy for women to watch their guy playing games, absorbed in the screen. Every girl always gets angry about it too.” Because it is just true… every girlfriend I have had hanging around while I played video games complained about it. So I just kick them out of the room and lock the door when it is gaming time, lol. They can go read a book or surf on their phones.

I have gone out clubbing despite having live-in girlfriends where the girl never partied or clubbed but I did. So long as it is a behavior of yours you are doing BEFORE the girl starts seeing you, and everything else in the relationship is good, most girls will kind of ease into it. I have had live-in girlfriends where I went out not as much as when they weren’t live-in, but still 2-4 times a month, often out till 4 AM… I have a buddy who would frequently stay out all night, despite having a wife and kids… although that led to problems for him with his girl. The rule for me is to always make it back before sunup… so you are not going to be sleeping over with other chicks and will have to make sure you’re out of there by 3 or 4 AM… but if you really want to be sleeping over with other chicks then why are you living with a chick? I have also had girls I was staying with tell me “If you drink too much, just stay at your friend’s, I don’t want you driving” or “If you’re going to work outside tonight and you can’t make it home tonight it’s okay”… which is just tacit approval so far as I’m concerned.

I don’t do anything on my phone. Phones are for phone calls and texting. Maybe occasionally for maps. Otherwise I do not know why you’d want to read a forum or try typing something out on a tiny screen where you cannot even touch-type, which would take an eternity. On my laptop I have numerous accounts… an admin account, a personal account, a work account, a guest account… only the admin account is an admin, and only that one can access all the other accounts. That account is strictly off-limits. My work account is always off-limits. Anything PUA-related is in “Work.” I am in the habit of always, ALWAYS closing my laptop (which I have set to lock it automatically) any time I need to step away from the computer… I’m not ending up like Ross Ulbricht; the FBI’s not pulling that stunt on me… so there is no risk of her snooping around on there. Any girl asking for access to my work account gets the same reply: “No way, the last thing I need is for work stuff to go missing or get accidentally deleted; not a chance.”

If it ever came up, then whatever, I’d play it off… I have spent plenty of time dealing with this stuff openly in the past I know how to handle it… I had a girl who did not know about PUA find a bunch of early GC articles on my computer back in 2011 or something, before I kept my accounts partitioned… I quick got in there and removed the more incriminating ones and any that mentioned her in them (lol) then told her go ahead, you can browse through them, just so it didn’t look like I had anything to hide. She thought it was interesting and knew I was posting it somewhere online, she just didn’t know where… later on she suggested maybe I ought to start a business giving guys dating advice, since she thought I’d be pretty good at that… she also told me at one point she overheard me on a phone call giving some guy dating advice (from when I used to phone coach). I have learned my lesson and only schedule calls for when I am outside or when girls are not over now.

I have had girlfriends who have met dozens of top PUAs but did not know they were PUAs. Guys would just come out to visit me, or I’d visit some guy, and bring the girl along, and just tell the guy ahead of time, “Hey, she doesn’t know anything about PUA, so no talking about that. Also nothing crazy sexual please,” and it’s always been fine. Once or twice a guy forgot and started to ask me something about it in front of a girl and I had to thread-cut, but it’s never really been an issue. I have crashed at top PUAs’ places with girlfriends with me and the girl had no idea the guy had any involvement in PUA. The funniest thing is when a girlfriend has met a bunch of highly skilled PUA friends she does not know are PUAs and tells me something like “You have a lot of very charming friends!”


STUFF CHICKS DO NOT KNOW

Anyway, here are the things women do not generally know about me:

1. Exactly how much money I have
   
   
2. Investing decisions I make
   
   
3. Anything having to do with PUA
   
   
4. What exactly I do for work (yes, even girls I have dated or even lived with for extended time do not know this… usually it is not an issue, except once when Gmail locked me out of my personal email, and a girlfriend needed to send me something and asked me, “Well what’s your business email then?” and I had to be like uh, well let me see, I have to look up which one I can give you, hold on a second, just give me a few minutes, and she was like, “You don’t know your work email address? Just forget it, I’ll get it to you some other way” lol)
   
   
5. When I am playing video games or what movies I watch / books I read (it gets annoying after a while having girls complain about your taste in movies… I will just find something bland / agreeable to watch with her if she wants to watch something, meanwhile keep my tastes to myself the rest of the time)

A bunch of other things, like sex dreams I have, which is just going to make the girl more insecure. She can tell me her sex dreams, I do not really care… as soon as I tell women mine it becomes “Oh no! I’m not doing enough to satisfy Chase!” and then you get insecurity + the girl trying to have sex with you constantly to keep your balls drained and now your dick is all chafed from hours of daily fucking and huge chunks of time are missing from your day. I’m almost 40, I do not really need to be going multiple 60-90 minute rounds every day four or five days in a row at this point.

I do not go into detail about my past lays with women… if you talk about too many, it makes them feel insecure; with some of them it awakens a competitive instinct… I have had some girlfriends tell me it is not fair I have been with so many girls, that they feel like they have missed out only having been with a few guys compared to me and that we should open the relationship up or take a break so they can get their count up more, lol… then you have girls who have biases against slutty girls or girls of this or that race, and when they find out you have shagged girls like that they look down on it…

There are really just so many things women do NOT need to know, that me telling them is not helpful to me, and instead just creates a ton more work for me, having to frame control everything, deal with drama/dissonance/etc.

If it ever comes out on its own, I will deal with it, and can handle it, but if it doesn’t, I really do not see the reason to create EVEN MORE WORK for myself.

I am plenty busy enough as it is…!

Chase

 

[POB]

I say each seducer has to make his own mind about what to share about being in this type of community.
Plus there are some caveats:
- some women want to know everything;
- some women want to know the basics, then go back to their busy lives (like my main);
- some women don't give a shit;
- some women are bi and even encourage seducer behavior, because they feel you can understand them better;

It also important to note how serious she is in your life:
- If my main ask me anything, I answer honestly to the best of my capacity.
- If any other girl gets curious, I provide the basics and stop there.
- If she pushes for more, I make it clear it's none of her biz.

Basically it comes down to:
- how you set (and keep) your frame from the get go;
- how you calibrate to her personality;
- how long you guys have been dating;

 

[Beam]

STUFF CHICKS DO NOT KNOW

1. What exactly I do for work (yes, even girls I have dated or even lived with for extended time do not know this… usually it is not an issue, except once when Gmail locked me out of my personal email, and a girlfriend needed to send me something and asked me, “Well what’s your business email then?” and I had to be like uh, well let me see, I have to look up which one I can give you, hold on a second, just give me a few minutes, and she was like, “You don’t know your work email address? Just forget it, I’ll get it to you some other way” lol)

Probably a silly question, but I'm guessing Amante is an alias then? Since you would be very easy to google and I'm guessing more than a few of the girls you have been with have tried. Unless you just don't tell them your surname.

EDIT: Ahh, "Amante" means "Lover" in Spanish. Forgive me, I'm not from the US so not familiar with Spanish, lol

 

[trashKENNUT]

but I'm guessing Amante is an alias then?

His real name is CHASE ORGASMATRON

z@c+

 

[Skills]

not hiding per se, it’s just none of their business. i don’t volunteer information that has nothing to do with the two of us. i’m like that with a lot of things in my life. have been since a child - i only tell ppl what they need to know, usually keep ppl at arms length as that comes naturally. there’s a lot my lovers don’t know about me tbh. If they found out, yeah cool i’m part of a self improvement community, not scared just doesn’t need speaking about. You get me?

my phone and computer, girls never use that. nobody does really but me. how would they find out? and when i’m with them why would i be on girlschase?
mltr found porn on my phone once while i was typing it auto filled the search bar. i just showed her the porn i was into, but never volunteered the info. No need, none of her business.

^ then you probably don't reach a "deeper" level in the relationships.....You guys are "reframing" your own lives imo with all due respect, Imagine you like to "smoke weed" which is a common problem a lot of dudes have and then you have to hide it, you meet a girl you develop a relationship she founds out you smoke weed and she tells you quit it... This will bring unhapiness in the relationship... This sample happens a lot with guy that have dogs, like to drink beers, guys that frequent adult booth cause the wife does not like them to watch porn and the likes is a double life....

women ask me what are your hobbies: capoeira, dancing, reading... Cause that is the truth i don't have to hide my hobbies (though pick up is hobbie i reframe as work)

What do you do for work: real estate, computers, i teach capoeira, and i help guys to become more attractive in their lives how to dress, how to behave, how to work out but my real profession is cindy future lover... simple...

If you are NOT going out of your way to lets say watching a youtube pick up channel, or chatting in a pick up chat, or logging in the forum etc.... then you are fine, BUT what i suspect is most of the forum deliberately suppress things like this under a cope.... And this is chump nice guy behavior.... no way around this...

 

[Train]

His real name is CHASE ORGASMATRON

z@c+

It's actually Hugh Mungus but keep it on the down low...

 

[Skills]

@Skills,

I agree with your three camps, yeah.

As for why you wouldn’t want a woman to know this stuff… and what that looks like day-to-day…


WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHARE? SHARING IS CARING…

My journey was the opposite of yours. I was open about all this stuff in the beginning. I also had some super sexually open-minded non-possessive chicks as FWBs. It didn’t take me long to realize this was not what I wanted.

Re: types of women, different guys have preferences… and I just do not value the “do whatever you want, I don’t care, I don’t have any opinion on it, you do you, man” hippie-like chicks… these chicks just strike me as not having any real standards and/or they haven’t realized what they have in me enough to get a little jealous, which means they might have brain damage or something… either way I don’t really like having those types of girls around. Just generally I will take it an indication that the girl’s mate value is lower than I thought and now I am wasting my time shagging a low value chick who knows she’s low value (otherwise she would be trying to lay her claim on me).

^ chase we went through this before i told you, and i keep telling you women are women, those "open minded" girls are not my target market they are very few and between you find them in underground rave scene, or underground emo scene, or hipster stuff, or some hoochies or some online kink sites, fetish sites...... Like you i fuck about i would say less than 10 of those girls and LIKE YOU REACH SAME CONCLUSION.... I don't like that type.... most guys don't like them either in most of this forum (i know only lofty playing with that kink type stuff, i don't like them)...

I like a girl getting a little jealous and trying to dissuade me from doing stuff that will lead to me shagging other girls… no girl is going to get me to not do something I want to do just because she doesn’t like it, but this is just normal, healthy female behavior you’d expect from a girl who values herself and is in a pair-bond. If it isn’t there, something is wrong, either with what I’m doing or with the girl…

^ that is 99% of women come on, that is were seduction and persuasion comes in, no girls wants or is ok with being open, it is TONS of brainwashing, influence and sells, super difficult to pull of... Most just do it to buy time, so they can hook you, and then to be mains, or exclusive, very similar to what happened to beam,.. That is how most go for most guys same shit, she sticks around cause she likes you, she start getting attached, then she gives ultimatum indirectly, at this point you promote to main or next (and they come back when you don't bluff or come back)... There is not "open minded girls" again i said it a million times women are women...

But then once you are dating girls like that and you have stopped shagging sexually open / laid back chicks except in ONS, suddenly you have girls who are opposed to you being involved in pickup, who will tell you they “don’t like it”, “don’t agree with it”, who sulk when they know you are going out to the club, whether it is you rolling solo or with a guy they know is also a PUA.

You get stretches of sulking with periodic dramatic outbursts, which I can handle… I can easily handle any drama; a woman can throw a planet of drama at me and I can handle it… but after a while dealing with it over and over again, where you resolve the drama and reframe something she is framing as bad as something good, then a few days later she’s back to seeing it as bad again and you have to reframe it as good again, ad infinitum, you start feeling like Sisyphus forever pushing the boulder uphill.

^ i really believe cause just like the red and black pillers that get weird experiences alien to us with women, you are getting similar feed back cause somewhere you believe this fight club silliness... Bro i wish i had your brand, and women knew about it, this would make my brainwashing 10000000 million % more lethal, and my fixer upper game, and their attraction..... You don't see this way cause you have this weird mentality that pick up is something not be proud of, and you will get drama etc... Is a wrong mindset... I look at people that don't know or understand seduction as losers, i don't care if they are billionaires.... That is how ingrained in my belief and core is seduction women can feel this and turn them on, cause i am passionate about it.... you need to own it and you will not experience all that negative loop or reactions...

Then you get issues from another direction… she is talking about open relationships; she is wanting to go out clubbing with her girlfriends; she is reading female game sites; and suddenly this sweet girlfriend you had has become the type of girl you specifically avoided dating in the first place because you don’t like those kinds of girls and it is exposure to YOU that has turned her into it.

^ this is unlikely to happened come on man, that is not how women are i already explain this in the women are women series.... I think you had one bad experience that gave you ptsd... that is not how it works... If any dude has experienced the above would love to know with samples in the forum....

It was a running joke with a good friend of mine for a while that I turned good girls into nymphos, except it was not a joke to me, it was a curse. A PUA curse…

^ i do this now we are talking, but my nymphos, they are unlikely to go out of the relationship even if open, @POB can tell you may @topcat they are going to be nymphos with you, will not go outside really...

I don’t do anything on my phone. Phones are for phone calls and texting. Maybe occasionally for maps. Otherwise I do not know why you’d want to read a forum or try typing something out on a tiny screen where you cannot even touch-type, which would take an eternity. On my laptop I have numerous accounts… an admin account, a personal account, a work account, a guest account… only the admin account is an admin, and only that one can access all the other accounts. That account is strictly off-limits. My work account is always off-limits. Anything PUA-related is in “Work.” I am in the habit of always, ALWAYS closing my laptop (which I have set to lock it automatically) any time I need to step away from the computer… I’m not ending up like Ross Ulbricht; the FBI’s not pulling that stunt on me… so there is no risk of her snooping around on there. Any girl asking for access to my work account gets the same reply: “No way, the last thing I need is for work stuff to go missing or get accidentally deleted; not a chance.”

^ again what i told topcat, if this is you doing this cause that is you, and NOT GOING OUT YOU WAY, or suppressing yourself to do this... I am on board the minute you get anxiety, or deliberately are doing this to NOt have her find out, she will feel this and will look shady with deep connection girl, this will get the girl to lose trust in you.... get me! so if chase is doing the above cause chase wants and does not have to change his behavior cause female present then we are good.... If not is nice guy behavior disguise with rationalizations.... i personally text and do the forum from lap top as well...

The last time this happened to me I decided, “Enough… I am not talking about pickup with women ever again.”

Which was not an easy decision because I am a talker; I like to talk about things to people. I like to just open my mouth and let it all flow out, tell the stories, tell my rationales, and be very open about all of it.

But either I was going to have to date women I didn’t want, or I was going to have to resign myself to perpetual drama + girls transforming from girls I wanted into girls I didn’t want, or I was going to have to just keep a lid on PUA and act like my natural buddies all did, where basically you are just some guy, you didn’t really study any of this stuff, you just like talking to people, and if something happens, well hey! But it is not like you planned it or anything… and heck, going out with friends, that is just going out with the boys, every guy needs some time with the boys. Etc., etc.

^ bingo this confirm what i suspected you have ptsd from that event/s that did not happened at all with me...

 

[Skills]

Probably a silly question, but I'm guessing Amante is an alias then? Since you would be very easy to google and I'm guessing more than a few of the girls you have been with have tried. Unless you just don't tell them your surname.

EDIT: Ahh, "Amante" means "Lover" in Spanish. Forgive me, I'm not from the US so not familiar with Spanish, lol

please tell me you don't think my name is skills or 50 gallons of cum, i know you trolling now....

 

[Skills]

I'm similar to others here in that it's not something I've ever brought up and have only revealed now with my girlfriend since she discovered it and forced my hand. At times when daygaming I'd get shittested on if I approached girls regularly or if I was a PUA , I was very good at making what I was doing seem socially normal while also giving me points for boldness - "online was fun, but I started seeing so many attractive girls out and about that I thought, why not strike up a conversation?" instead of the fact that I only found out DG was a thing from pickup forums/sites.

I guess I've now seen a limitation of this approach particularly if girls start becoming more ingrained in your life with more regularity, because naturally she will discover more about your past as time goes on. Though in my case I was careless.

In an ideal world I'd love to be open about this, but in reality I'm hesitant, for a couple of reasons.

Skills, you've been doing this for a long long time. You're high level, in control in your relationships and the bedroom. The best guy a lot of your girls have ever met I'm sure. When your frame is that strong, women know that you're the real deal and that pickup is a huge part of what got you there. Being open about it in this case would be more straightforward.

For guys still on the way up, who still haven't internalized everything yet, to me it seems trickier. Naturally when you're getting better at something, you'll stumble a bit at first, and eventually get it. If you're in this position and your girl knows you're into pickup, would this not lead her to start questioning you every time you try to establish your frame in the relationship? That's the thing with my girl now - it's like, if I read about a concept here, like dread game, or something else, and attempt to implement it in the relationship, I may mishandle it because I haven't done it before. If she didn't know about pickup, she might pass it off as me being a bit aloof or distracted perhaps. Now, she might think it's me reading up about how to get what I want out of the relationship and trying to manipulate things in my favor. There's definitely an element of trust there that has been severed.

She has told me (and I've called her out on this, don't worry) that now she doesn't know where I start and where PUA begins, and that she can't trust the early experiences she had with me. Example, the Cube. I played this with her, told her a friend of mine told me about it when she asked how I found out about it. Now she knows it's a pickup game it took away the magic of it, that it didn't feel special anymore. I told her that everyone has fun interesting games they play on dates to make things interesting. That it was like swiping on tinder 100 times. You have to repeat some things over and over until you find someone you truly click with.

If on the second date when we played the Cube and she asked where I found out about it, I couldn't exactly say "on a pickup forum" or be honest about my involvement in the community. I would have never seen her again. I guess it goes without saying that you wouldn't be honest about your involvement in the community before having slept with her but correct me if I'm wrong...

But even then, after you sleep with her, there could be consequences like I am seeing right now, with her retroactively questioning the experiences she has had to date, particularly due to the negative perceptions of pickup in society nowadays, where many see it as manipulative.

It could colour her perception of you.

But you're right, hiding this is stressful, having to hide it for the rest of your life from a SO, even more stressful. It does feel like a small weight has been lifted of my shoulders now that she knows. I'm still going to never bring up the topic on my own again, and if she brings it up, talk about it in terms of self development/levelling up your attractiveness which I have been trying to do.

It does feel a little annoying having your partner know about LMR, the game etc. Feels like part of the magic I've tried to create in this relationship of me being this bold, confident man is gone forever. Although, I have told her that only a fraction of the guys who find this stuff (most of the the male population at one point or another I'm sure) have the balls to go out and actually do it. So you can still gain respect by distinguishing yourself even after she finds out I guess...

^ beam this was the best response on the whole post, i love everything you do, i see a lot of potential in you.... If you are doing pick up correctly no girl will say are you a pua.... The closest i gotten is there is something different about you, you are not like other guys, you are very masculine..... with puppy eyes.... Again pick up does not look like pick up at all...

i think that unfortunately your girl has been hurt, and she is projecting on to you... and playing the victim so you can reassure her dynamic and you may be getting cut up in that loop... She knows you don't own it and are insecure about you being in the community, she found your weakness so she fucks with you with pua about her own insecurities... that won't happen with other women... So far you handle it ok, but again look how many i fucked up with to get were i can own it... eventually you will get there and will be same as me, you will see is not big deal...

 

[Skills]

I say each seducer has to make his own mind about what to share about being in this type of community.
Plus there are some caveats:
- some women want to know everything;
- some women want to know the basics, then go back to their busy lives (like my main);
- some women don't give a shit;
- some women are bi and even encourage seducer behavior, because they feel you can understand them better;

It also important to note how serious she is in your life:
- If my main ask me anything, I answer honestly to the best of my capacity.
- If any other girl gets curious, I provide the basics and stop there.
- If she pushes for more, I make it clear it's none of her biz.

Basically it comes down to:
- how you set (and keep) your frame from the get go;
- how you calibrate to her personality;
- how long you guys have been dating;

^as you are getting more connected with women they will know your hobbies and passions, Would you hide from women that you love body building???? Then why the need to hide you love social dynamics, the study of relationships and attraction?? makes no sense to me...

 

[Will_V]

For me, it's about people management. I don't go to any substantial length to hide things but neither do I want to talk to her about it, because it makes her more insecure.

I have been learning pickup for quite some time now, in that time I have arrived at my own conclusions, slowly and through exposure to real situations, regarding ethical issues and boundaries and what is acceptable and what is not. In that time I have discovered many things that I accept now as simply being reality, that at first were difficult to navigate - such as the process by which a woman 'chooses yes', what she requires of a man to become turned on and ready for sex, the concept of her responsibility and plausible deniability etc. None of these can easily be discussed with a woman, or even the majority of reasonably self-aware guys, for that matter.

I have experimented with discussing it in the past and even when it appears that the other person has been open, I have realized later that they have judged it. Perhaps unconsciously, because it is likely that while they were able to accept it at first, later, for practical reasons, their mind rejected it as it interfered with the world view that helped them navigate society on a day to day level. This is fine and functional, so I prefer to let them keep their worldview, and my understanding to myself and those who walk the same path.

Many experiences that I have had (some very close to home) have reinforced the concept that a person, especially a woman, depends first on their environment, and secondly (if at all) on truth. They don't care if they live a lie as long as doing so enables them to secure what they need from what is around them. Most people's relationship with truth is very weak - when challenged, their instincts drive them to first evoke the rules of the society or environment they live in, and only when that society proves to be irreconcilably hostile to them, and isolates them completely, do they run to the truth as a means to make sense of reality and find an alternate path to success. This is the experience of many men - they forge a strong bond with the truth only once they have decided that society can never really be trusted again, once it has sort of 'left them for dead'. It takes a lot of pain, confusion, and potential wrong turns to arrive at a constructive and balanced state on this journey.

I would never expect my woman to be able to do that or fully understand that, nor would I even want her to. I would rather create an environment (including a narrative of me and her) that fits as well as possible to the environment that she already lives in. That's why, when I eventually start a family, my first priority will be choosing the right place to do it, one that reinforces the principles I want us both to follow.

The fact is that the environment (society) is generally hostile to pickup and the concept of logically moving through a set of steps to seduce a woman and penetrate her. Even among most groups of young guys, acceptable pickup is a question of choosing the right liquid primer and outlandish pickup line, zeroing in on her and bouncing off like a wayward torpedo. Delving deeper into things is pretty much just weird. For most women, they would rather believe (especially when approached smoothly) that it was all on account of serendipity, like the universe woke up cheerfully one day and decided to make a suitable suitor fall in love with her so that it could enjoy seeing her happy.

I take no pleasure in breaking people's illusions - because after all they would not exist in the first place if they had no practical value. If a woman wants to believe that our love is a result of a decision of the universe, then why not? It's not as if she's going to want to go against what the entire universe in all its magnitude has decided.

It is a strange fact that people tend to value most the things they don't fully understand. In view of that, I will not talk to a woman about how I looked at her and thought she was hot, decided on an angle of approach and an opening line, dealt with her insecurities according to an understanding of the intricacies of female nature, pushed and pulled to make her want me more, etc etc, when she could happily lie there thinking that some unfathomable entity governing reality had finally deigned to give her what she was looking for.

It's as simple as that. I am not here to wake women up, I'm here to succeed as a man, in all my enterprises, and enjoy women for what they are, in the mode that makes them most happy and is most pleasurable for me.

 

[Skjöldr]

I haven't really thought of this, I just don't go on the forum when I have girls over. It would still be quite horrible if they found your lay reports and field reports. I do know, however, that if I had a long-term lover/girlfriend/main that I loved dearly, and she confronted me about it, or anything for that matter, I wouldn't budge an inch on it. I would have an attitude of "this is ME, take it or leave it".

But that doesn't mean I would go out of my way to involve her in it or volunteer anything to her. Most girls don't really care about it. If they like/love you, they might find it interesting, because it is an interest of yours and want to delve deeper into your mind and what drives you, but they will probably be wholly uninterested besides that.

 

[trashKENNUT]

please tell me you don't think my name is skills or 50 gallons of cum, i know you trolling now..

I was sitting and drinking tea. Nearly spit out the whole thing of my mouth.

z@c+

I once spit out water from on top of the escalator to my friends at the bottom of the escalator. We were laughing too hard.

And fortunately, they duck out of the movable fountain!

 

[trashKENNUT]

it gets annoying after a while having girls complain about your taste in movies… I will just find something bland / agreeable to watch with her if she wants to watch something, meanwhile keep my tastes to myself the rest of the time)

Right...

Thanks for reminding me why marriage is terrible. I just have a bigger goal, and arguing wAhmen eMpoWahment horseshit isn't ideal for me.

Its a complete red flag to argue why I occasionally called Train as 'BEEP BEEP'! or why Jordan Peterson is a Nazi,

or Chase Amante's real name is CHASE ORGASMATRON!

z@c+

 

[Beam]

^ beam this was the best response on the whole post, i love everything you do, i see a lot of potential in you.... If you are doing pick up correctly no girl will say are you a pua.... The closest i gotten is there is something different about you, you are not like other guys, you are very masculine..... with puppy eyes.... Again pick up does not look like pick up at all...

i think that unfortunately your girl has been hurt, and she is projecting on to you... and playing the victim so you can reassure her dynamic and you may be getting cut up in that loop... She knows you don't own it and are insecure about you being in the community, she found your weakness so she fucks with you with pua about her own insecurities... that won't happen with other women... So far you handle it ok, but again look how many i fucked up with to get were i can own it... eventually you will get there and will be same as me, you will see is not big deal...

Thanks Skills. Always been hard on myself so you saying that means a lot.

Thing is it's not all that bad. Most of the time things seem to be smooth sailing - challenging but the good kind of challenge, not one where my whole sense of self gets thrown out the window - going to go into more detail on my thread.

 

[DeepShadow]

@Skills,

I agree with your three camps, yeah.

As for why you wouldn’t want a woman to know this stuff… and what that looks like day-to-day…


WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHARE? SHARING IS CARING…

My journey was the opposite of yours. I was open about all this stuff in the beginning. I also had some super sexually open-minded non-possessive chicks as FWBs. It didn’t take me long to realize this was not what I wanted.

Re: types of women, different guys have preferences… and I just do not value the “do whatever you want, I don’t care, I don’t have any opinion on it, you do you, man” hippie-like chicks… these chicks just strike me as not having any real standards and/or they haven’t realized what they have in me enough to get a little jealous, which means they might have brain damage or something… either way I don’t really like having those types of girls around. Just generally I will take it an indication that the girl’s mate value is lower than I thought and now I am wasting my time shagging a low value chick who knows she’s low value (otherwise she would be trying to lay her claim on me).

I like a girl getting a little jealous and trying to dissuade me from doing stuff that will lead to me shagging other girls… no girl is going to get me to not do something I want to do just because she doesn’t like it, but this is just normal, healthy female behavior you’d expect from a girl who values herself and is in a pair-bond. If it isn’t there, something is wrong, either with what I’m doing or with the girl…

But then once you are dating girls like that and you have stopped shagging sexually open / laid back chicks except in ONS, suddenly you have girls who are opposed to you being involved in pickup, who will tell you they “don’t like it”, “don’t agree with it”, who sulk when they know you are going out to the club, whether it is you rolling solo or with a guy they know is also a PUA.

You get stretches of sulking with periodic dramatic outbursts, which I can handle… I can easily handle any drama; a woman can throw a planet of drama at me and I can handle it… but after a while dealing with it over and over again, where you resolve the drama and reframe something she is framing as bad as something good, then a few days later she’s back to seeing it as bad again and you have to reframe it as good again, ad infinitum, you start feeling like Sisyphus forever pushing the boulder uphill.

The other thing that happens is sometimes if you date a girl long enough, women always bring their views increasingly in alignment with their man’s, and if she knows you are into pickup, even if she started out as a conservative girl, a few years in you start getting her “considering” all the things she knows you think in a more positive light.

Then you get issues from another direction… she is talking about open relationships; she is wanting to go out clubbing with her girlfriends; she is reading female game sites; and suddenly this sweet girlfriend you had has become the type of girl you specifically avoided dating in the first place because you don’t like those kinds of girls and it is exposure to YOU that has turned her into it.

It was a running joke with a good friend of mine for a while that I turned good girls into nymphos, except it was not a joke to me, it was a curse. A PUA curse…

The last time this happened to me I decided, “Enough… I am not talking about pickup with women ever again.”

Which was not an easy decision because I am a talker; I like to talk about things to people. I like to just open my mouth and let it all flow out, tell the stories, tell my rationales, and be very open about all of it.

But either I was going to have to date women I didn’t want, or I was going to have to resign myself to perpetual drama + girls transforming from girls I wanted into girls I didn’t want, or I was going to have to just keep a lid on PUA and act like my natural buddies all did, where basically you are just some guy, you didn’t really study any of this stuff, you just like talking to people, and if something happens, well hey! But it is not like you planned it or anything… and heck, going out with friends, that is just going out with the boys, every guy needs some time with the boys. Etc., etc.


DAY IN THE LIFE OF

Since I got into pickup I have had maybe 3-4 months total time when I did not have any kind of ongoing sexual relationship with a girl. There is always at least one woman in my life. I have spent a not-insignificant time living with girls too. It has not been a problem for me being in PUA, going out to pickup, being on forums, shooting videos, and even running a PUA company, which women do not know about, despite it getting 55 million visits over its 14 years and at one time being in the top 20,000 websites on the Earth.

Here is the secret: have an office, and lock the door. Simple, right?

I play video games sometimes. Haven’t played them in half a year or so now, but sometimes I’ll go on binges. If I’m doing that, it is in the office with the door locked too. I don’t tell women I’m not… sometimes they will even ask if I am working and they can come in, and I will just tell them, “Babe, I need some relaxation time and am going to play video games. I don’t think it’s healthy for women to watch their guy playing games, absorbed in the screen. Every girl always gets angry about it too.” Because it is just true… every girlfriend I have had hanging around while I played video games complained about it. So I just kick them out of the room and lock the door when it is gaming time, lol. They can go read a book or surf on their phones.

I have gone out clubbing despite having live-in girlfriends where the girl never partied or clubbed but I did. So long as it is a behavior of yours you are doing BEFORE the girl starts seeing you, and everything else in the relationship is good, most girls will kind of ease into it. I have had live-in girlfriends where I went out not as much as when they weren’t live-in, but still 2-4 times a month, often out till 4 AM… I have a buddy who would frequently stay out all night, despite having a wife and kids… although that led to problems for him with his girl. The rule for me is to always make it back before sunup… so you are not going to be sleeping over with other chicks and will have to make sure you’re out of there by 3 or 4 AM… but if you really want to be sleeping over with other chicks then why are you living with a chick? I have also had girls I was staying with tell me “If you drink too much, just stay at your friend’s, I don’t want you driving” or “If you’re going to work outside tonight and you can’t make it home tonight it’s okay”… which is just tacit approval so far as I’m concerned.

I don’t do anything on my phone. Phones are for phone calls and texting. Maybe occasionally for maps. Otherwise I do not know why you’d want to read a forum or try typing something out on a tiny screen where you cannot even touch-type, which would take an eternity. On my laptop I have numerous accounts… an admin account, a personal account, a work account, a guest account… only the admin account is an admin, and only that one can access all the other accounts. That account is strictly off-limits. My work account is always off-limits. Anything PUA-related is in “Work.” I am in the habit of always, ALWAYS closing my laptop (which I have set to lock it automatically) any time I need to step away from the computer… I’m not ending up like Ross Ulbricht; the FBI’s not pulling that stunt on me… so there is no risk of her snooping around on there. Any girl asking for access to my work account gets the same reply: “No way, the last thing I need is for work stuff to go missing or get accidentally deleted; not a chance.”

If it ever came up, then whatever, I’d play it off… I have spent plenty of time dealing with this stuff openly in the past I know how to handle it… I had a girl who did not know about PUA find a bunch of early GC articles on my computer back in 2011 or something, before I kept my accounts partitioned… I quick got in there and removed the more incriminating ones and any that mentioned her in them (lol) then told her go ahead, you can browse through them, just so it didn’t look like I had anything to hide. She thought it was interesting and knew I was posting it somewhere online, she just didn’t know where… later on she suggested maybe I ought to start a business giving guys dating advice, since she thought I’d be pretty good at that… she also told me at one point she overheard me on a phone call giving some guy dating advice (from when I used to phone coach). I have learned my lesson and only schedule calls for when I am outside or when girls are not over now.

I have had girlfriends who have met dozens of top PUAs but did not know they were PUAs. Guys would just come out to visit me, or I’d visit some guy, and bring the girl along, and just tell the guy ahead of time, “Hey, she doesn’t know anything about PUA, so no talking about that. Also nothing crazy sexual please,” and it’s always been fine. Once or twice a guy forgot and started to ask me something about it in front of a girl and I had to thread-cut, but it’s never really been an issue. I have crashed at top PUAs’ places with girlfriends with me and the girl had no idea the guy had any involvement in PUA. The funniest thing is when a girlfriend has met a bunch of highly skilled PUA friends she does not know are PUAs and tells me something like “You have a lot of very charming friends!”


STUFF CHICKS DO NOT KNOW

Anyway, here are the things women do not generally know about me:

1. Exactly how much money I have
   
   
2. Investing decisions I make
   
   
3. Anything having to do with PUA
   
   
4. What exactly I do for work (yes, even girls I have dated or even lived with for extended time do not know this… usually it is not an issue, except once when Gmail locked me out of my personal email, and a girlfriend needed to send me something and asked me, “Well what’s your business email then?” and I had to be like uh, well let me see, I have to look up which one I can give you, hold on a second, just give me a few minutes, and she was like, “You don’t know your work email address? Just forget it, I’ll get it to you some other way” lol)
   
   
5. When I am playing video games or what movies I watch / books I read (it gets annoying after a while having girls complain about your taste in movies… I will just find something bland / agreeable to watch with her if she wants to watch something, meanwhile keep my tastes to myself the rest of the time)

A bunch of other things, like sex dreams I have, which is just going to make the girl more insecure. She can tell me her sex dreams, I do not really care… as soon as I tell women mine it becomes “Oh no! I’m not doing enough to satisfy Chase!” and then you get insecurity + the girl trying to have sex with you constantly to keep your balls drained and now your dick is all chafed from hours of daily fucking and huge chunks of time are missing from your day. I’m almost 40, I do not really need to be going multiple 60-90 minute rounds every day four or five days in a row at this point.

I do not go into detail about my past lays with women… if you talk about too many, it makes them feel insecure; with some of them it awakens a competitive instinct… I have had some girlfriends tell me it is not fair I have been with so many girls, that they feel like they have missed out only having been with a few guys compared to me and that we should open the relationship up or take a break so they can get their count up more, lol… then you have girls who have biases against slutty girls or girls of this or that race, and when they find out you have shagged girls like that they look down on it…

There are really just so many things women do NOT need to know, that me telling them is not helpful to me, and instead just creates a ton more work for me, having to frame control everything, deal with drama/dissonance/etc.

If it ever comes out on its own, I will deal with it, and can handle it, but if it doesn’t, I really do not see the reason to create EVEN MORE WORK for myself.

I am plenty busy enough as it is…!

Chase

I think the choice of which is depends on what kind of relationship you set up. chase you are in simple monogamy or do you see more girls and they just you or open relationship? because I think the masking of going to certain places and other things is due to being in monogamy or at least perceived by her in this way or that she is still fighting the idea.
As for what not to say in my opinion saying that you study seduction or bdsm or whatever you can introduce into your relationship takes away the magic in her head that it is all so natural and magical between you and how she only sees you the same way.