"Why?" Questions

[Searcher]

This will be regarding power dynamics and dominance in conversation.

Is responding to "Why?" questions in conversation inherently make it look like you are explaining/justifying your decisions especially when it's related to something you do?

For example :-
"Why did you take up that decision / passion ?"
"Why did you not do the alternative ?"

I used to respond with reasons before but have been trying out flipping the question on them asking them to guess or why do they think the decision I took was necessary?

Is it a good strategic move for avoiding a one-down position or am I reading too much into this?

 

[Will_V]

This will be regarding power dynamics and dominance in conversation.

Is responding to "Why?" questions in conversation inherently make it look like you are explaining/justifying your decisions especially when it's related to something you do?

For example :-
"Why did you take up that decision / passion ?"
"Why did you not do the alternative ?"

I used to respond with reasons before but have been trying out flipping the question on them asking them to guess or why do they think the decision I took was necessary?

Is it a good strategic move for avoiding a one-down position or am I reading too much into this?

Nothing wrong with answering at all. It's an opportunity to create rapport and cement your frame at the same time.

Often a woman will ask questions about you when she feels like she doesn't know you enough. If you try to avoid it you make the problem worse. But you do need to think 'how does my answer advance my goals?' Certainly, don't treat it as if she wants to know the details. And do try to insert some mystery as well.

For example, if you're a writer and she asks 'why did you become a writer?' don't say 'because it was the first thing in the list of degrees at university and at the time I didn't care about anything'. Instead say 'hmm, I love finding the perfect way to express myself, there's nothing quite like a beautiful turn of phrase, or a description so evocative that you feel like you're transported to another world .. have you ever read something like that?'

Bam, now she's curious, aroused, and thinking of evocative things she's read (and since women are turned on by the description of things, rather than the thing itself, you better believe she's read some good stuff).

It's good to ask her a question at the end, but it must be a leading question, an invitation into a frame that you've already set, not just kicking the ball back into her court.