Why should she stop and talk to me?

[Mars]

I'm a student at one of the best universities in Europe. I'm an artist, and a dancer. On top of that, my physique is above average, and I've got most of my fundamentals in check (though fashion's dragging me down a bit) and I know a lot about girls thanks to GC and the awesome folks around here. Most of the girls that I know I get playful with and then they melt.

As much value as I provide to my social circle, conversation or other things, I find myself wondering why a random girl would stop and chat with me. I mean, she doesn't know anything about me, she has somewhere to go to, I guess, so why should she stop and, well, acknowledge my existence?

This one's a hard one to shake, and the main reason I feel I'm not ready to do cold approaches, guys. Any advice?
Thanks a lot,
Mars

 

[Smith]

As much value as I provide to my social circle, conversation or other things, I find myself wondering why a random girl would stop and chat with me. I mean, she doesn't know anything about me, she has somewhere to go to, I guess, so why should she stop and, well, acknowledge my existence?

I think your main problem is you believe you have nothing to offer.... Write down a list of things you could offer to a girl and be as detail as you can. e.g. good sex, great conversation..etc. The main thing you have to realize is that you are already "of value", but you're just getting in your own way by telling yourself tons of excuse as to why you're a piece of shit and why she wouldn't want to acknowledge your existence. This is what you have to work on. that underlying assumption you're not good enough. Keep asking yourself "why do I assume she doesn't want to stop?" and keep diving deeper. Good luck man!

 

[Average]

As much value as I provide to my social circle, conversation or other things, I find myself wondering why a random girl would stop and chat with me. I mean, she doesn't know anything about me, she has somewhere to go to, I guess, so why should she stop and, well, acknowledge my existence?

This one's a hard one to shake, and the main reason I feel I'm not ready to do cold approaches, guys. Any advice?
Thanks a lot,
Mars

Hey mars. I usually stay outta my own head when I cold approach people since I could make up excuses as to why I shouldn't go. I'm not sure what you mean when you say "add value" since I never really thought about what SHE wanted. Only that if she ever reaches a point at which she neither liked nor wanted me then she can reject my request for her numbers and I could just cold approach somebody else who can see what I'm actually worth. I think that you should just go out there and approach flaws and all since most girls won't mind and the ones who do won't matter. If you don't then eventually you'll find another reason not to approach them.

 

[Frost]

Nobody knows you more than you know yourself, and this applies to the good things and the bad things. It's in our nature to always find the flaws in ourselves and work on them, and when people start to think they're getting too good to have flaws, they're usually getting close to a reality check that will put everything in order with a slight blow.

That being said, you are well acquainted with the value you have, so it's pretty much your baseline. To you it seems like the normal, that girls wouldn't be interested in that, but you should realize at some point that each girl sees something different in a guy. And your question puts in perspective a certain phenomenon, that is very attractive girls being with guys who are relatively low value, while the high value guys are left alone. It's all a matter of how you perceive yourself, and how much value you show the girl.

 

[Mars]

Managed to get my shit in check and approached a couple of girls at the train station yesterday (only those who gave me approach invitations).
Fucked up, but I realised one thing: the ONLY way to show value to a girl when you meet her is to be manly and occasionally sexy with her. If I manage to do that consistently, she'll definitely have a reason to talk to me. Thanks for the advice guys, it really helped.

Cheers,
Mars

PS. Frost, not sure what you mean with the reality check brother? I may be a good student and all, I'm also a socially retarded loner that can't go 3 days without getting high... so yeah... I never said I'm without flaws. Just working on them

 

[Alex25]

I think you should be yourself, say something funny)