- Joined
- Mar 14, 2013
- Messages
- 172
First and only approach of the night was a girl sitting at Union Square. She's from LA and only here for the night. Seemed interested immediately, so I moved her quickly to another spot at the square.
On our short walk I gave her my elbow, but she declined. Told her she had to take it, and she did. Now we sat together and I deep dove her. Good conversation verbally - I got to know her very well, and she's really cool - but not so great a conversation nonverbally. The tension wasn't there. I tried taking her hand at one point and she said she wasn't feeling that. I considered cutting the interaction short and looking for a more receptive girl, but stuck with it, just to see what would happen. About 30 minutes in suggested we grab drinks and she agreed, to my surprise. On the walk I gave her my elbow, but didn't feel she was ready for the hand hold.
I'm very glad I stuck with this girl, because this interaction taught me that I can really turn things around. At the bar we really got verbally intimate. Same topics, but the feeling was deeper. I did a lot of cold reading and she was amazed, saying that most people claim she's hard to read. I said that she's very easy to read, and maybe they just don't get her.
More sex and chase framing here than at Union Square because it was landing much better. More smiles from her, better eye contact, some signs of nervousness. She asked if I knew a lot of people in the city since I'm relatively new, and if I met them through work. I told her that it's very hard to meet the kind of people I want in my life by chance at work, and that it's necessary to really go out looking. I told her that I meet lots of people on the street just like I met her (Not in a "I'm a player" way, I gave her an example of some guy I met a few weeks back whom I really hit it off with). However, I said that it usually doesn't pan out, that most people are just average.
Reading what I wrote it seems like I went off on a long monologue here, but I didn't. It was interspersed with questions from her, questions from me to her, and comments about her.
She said she hoped she wasn't one of those people who didn't pan out, and I replied, "I'm here with you, aren't I?" Which was true, she was awesome. Definitely the kind of girl I want. Shame she's leaving.
By the time we finished our drinks the mood had completely changed. I invited her home and she agreed. On the way there I held her hand. No problem this time.
Got to my place and she sat too far away from me on the bed. Didn't want to be too aggressive and trigger resistance, so I took my shoes off and lay on the bed. Told her she could take her shoes off, too, if she wanted, but she declined.
We were talking and I ramped up the tension with eye contact and pauses, and very soon she said she should get going. So I started to move: I got up and sat right next to her, changed the subject, and put her leg on mine, touching it. She said she had to go again. Again I changed the subject, commenting on her ring and taking the opportunity to touch her hand. We talked about the ring for a bit, then she said she had to go again. Kissed her. She made a "that's sweet, but no" gesture, touching my chest while displaying a facial expression. Then she got up. Walked her to the door, kissed goodbye.
Any insight as to what went wrong here? Was distance a problem - maybe the fact that I was too far away from her at first made it awkward for her and prompted that first "I should go?" Or maybe I wasn't physical enough before we got to my place? With Monday's girl I was so physical the whole time, and it was super natural as soon as we got to my place for me to have my way with her. With this one the transition from sitting on my bed to escalating was a little more forced. Or did I make a mistake earlier on?
On our short walk I gave her my elbow, but she declined. Told her she had to take it, and she did. Now we sat together and I deep dove her. Good conversation verbally - I got to know her very well, and she's really cool - but not so great a conversation nonverbally. The tension wasn't there. I tried taking her hand at one point and she said she wasn't feeling that. I considered cutting the interaction short and looking for a more receptive girl, but stuck with it, just to see what would happen. About 30 minutes in suggested we grab drinks and she agreed, to my surprise. On the walk I gave her my elbow, but didn't feel she was ready for the hand hold.
I'm very glad I stuck with this girl, because this interaction taught me that I can really turn things around. At the bar we really got verbally intimate. Same topics, but the feeling was deeper. I did a lot of cold reading and she was amazed, saying that most people claim she's hard to read. I said that she's very easy to read, and maybe they just don't get her.
More sex and chase framing here than at Union Square because it was landing much better. More smiles from her, better eye contact, some signs of nervousness. She asked if I knew a lot of people in the city since I'm relatively new, and if I met them through work. I told her that it's very hard to meet the kind of people I want in my life by chance at work, and that it's necessary to really go out looking. I told her that I meet lots of people on the street just like I met her (Not in a "I'm a player" way, I gave her an example of some guy I met a few weeks back whom I really hit it off with). However, I said that it usually doesn't pan out, that most people are just average.
Reading what I wrote it seems like I went off on a long monologue here, but I didn't. It was interspersed with questions from her, questions from me to her, and comments about her.
She said she hoped she wasn't one of those people who didn't pan out, and I replied, "I'm here with you, aren't I?" Which was true, she was awesome. Definitely the kind of girl I want. Shame she's leaving.
By the time we finished our drinks the mood had completely changed. I invited her home and she agreed. On the way there I held her hand. No problem this time.
Got to my place and she sat too far away from me on the bed. Didn't want to be too aggressive and trigger resistance, so I took my shoes off and lay on the bed. Told her she could take her shoes off, too, if she wanted, but she declined.
We were talking and I ramped up the tension with eye contact and pauses, and very soon she said she should get going. So I started to move: I got up and sat right next to her, changed the subject, and put her leg on mine, touching it. She said she had to go again. Again I changed the subject, commenting on her ring and taking the opportunity to touch her hand. We talked about the ring for a bit, then she said she had to go again. Kissed her. She made a "that's sweet, but no" gesture, touching my chest while displaying a facial expression. Then she got up. Walked her to the door, kissed goodbye.
Any insight as to what went wrong here? Was distance a problem - maybe the fact that I was too far away from her at first made it awkward for her and prompted that first "I should go?" Or maybe I wasn't physical enough before we got to my place? With Monday's girl I was so physical the whole time, and it was super natural as soon as we got to my place for me to have my way with her. With this one the transition from sitting on my bed to escalating was a little more forced. Or did I make a mistake earlier on?