What's new

Why would a girl who was warm/interested in a party few weeks ago be aloof/distant with me this time around?

slickskin09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 9, 2022
Messages
14
Basically, met this girl at a party a few weeks ago. A lot of people just meeting each other (brand new) and she complimented on how "I'm so smooth socially". I can tell she's very interested in me, talks to me alone while ignoring everyone else, etc. I say bye to her and just go to get some food with a different girl cause I'm hungry. I didn't have any intentions with the girl I left cause I was just being friendly and getting food.

I see her again and say hi to her expecting her to be excited to see me. Instead, this time around she's a little bit aloof and short with me. As the party goes on, I sit next to her and her friend. I slowly talk to her friend and we start to talk about Halloween. She comments "I wanna show you my Hallooween pictures" and etc.

I'm wondering is this aloofness/reservedness due to low attainability or high attainability? In other words, she thinks I'm too + for her or - value wise. How can you tell which is which so that you can adapt?
 

topcat

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
900
Basically, met this girl at a party a few weeks ago. A lot of people just meeting each other (brand new) and she complimented on how "I'm so smooth socially". I can tell she's very interested in me, talks to me alone while ignoring everyone else, etc. I say bye to her and just go to get some food with a different girl cause I'm hungry. I didn't have any intentions with the girl I left cause I was just being friendly and getting food.

I see her again and say hi to her expecting her to be excited to see me. Instead, this time around she's a little bit aloof and short with me. As the party goes on, I sit next to her and her friend. I slowly talk to her friend and we start to talk about Halloween. She comments "I wanna show you my Hallooween pictures" and etc.

I'm wondering is this aloofness/reservedness due to low attainability or high attainability? In other words, she thinks I'm too + for her or - value wise. How can you tell which is which so that you can adapt?
see this
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,750
Yeah dude can also be due to attainability, not just attraction having an expiration date. Can also be mood shift, or their biological cycle. Best is to remind her about what attracted her to you if you know the triggers. Otherwise can use preselection as well.

Anyway no thing as certainly attraction expiring. We dont know that, yet. But yeah as she gave you a pretty big window, could be you have fucked up.
 

Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 15, 2022
Messages
313
What I’ve learned from experience is it’s all about momentum, you should have taken her with you while you getting food. This is also an opportunity to get compliance and lead. By being with another girl while she was giving you signals probably felt like rejection to her. If you had kept things moving things could have escalated later in the night. Even small breaks from talking to a girl can kill the vibe. Remember the snowball effect.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Glow

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
500
Dont give much of a fly ( it will make you meh if you let this insecure you or get too reactive about it)
Just note it cool-style and adjust a lil
Continue your thing to seduce her

Could be you, but even w tight seductions girls will change moods for no reason as well as @DarkKnight points out examples of. Just get used to this being the nature of things.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
The fact you left with another woman probably signalled to her that you were not interested in her , so he is not going to invest energy in attracting you. I noticed when I was single, women who were not even necessarily interested were flirty and friendly. When i had a woman in my life who was around and visible, that energy changed.
 
Top