Wing trying to game both his and my girl

[Searcher]

I was talking to a 2-set and after sometime a guy came to talk to the second girl. I thought it will get easier for both of us to game since now we both put in less effort compared to gaming 2-sets individually.

However the guy was a bit over-arrogant and over-gaming persona who was basically making use of overt push-pulls(I am going to leave if you a re not XYZ, etc), too much teasing and zero compliments, laughing at the girls answers, etc.
Example -

"it's funny how you are trying hard for my approval"
"Don't try so hard I was kind of liking you"
"That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard"
"You are too innocent for me"

One problem is the guy was using it with my girl too instead of sticking with his girl.

I thought of isolating my girl but then I was questioning if pulling my girl elsewhere was even feasible when the guy is acting cocky to both girls (might make me seem like chasing the girl or trying to get my girl away from a guy).

What would be the best way to handle this?

 

[Just a Man]

I was talking to a 2-set and after sometime a guy came to talk

Was this guy actually a wing or just some random arse who came to rain on your parade?

 

[DarkKnight]

@Sully Just man is on point.. A wing is someone with who you have agreed beforehand that he will help you, or you guys move together. However in this case it seems to be a guy who owes you no allegiance and hence goes zero-sum.

 

[Searcher]

Was this guy actually a wing or just some random arse who came to rain on your parade?

Random guy. Thought effort on my end will get reduced by letting another guy game the other chick. But it backfired. The girls left after sometime.

 

[ulrich]

Man, I hate when uncalibrated guys come and ruin your seduction.

Once I was wooing a two set and an idiot came after my girl with the crappiest line (it’s actually not that crappy but he ran it wrong).
He totally spoiled the set for both of us.

 

[StrayDog]

Man, I hate when uncalibrated guys come and ruin your seduction.

Once I was wooing a two set and an idiot came after my girl with the crappiest line (it’s actually not that crappy but he ran it wrong).
He totally spoiled the set for both of us.

Uncalibrated guy coming into your set can actually work to your advantage though. There are of course a lot of factors that play into it all. The level of rapport you have already built with the ladies of determains a lot of how you handle it it.

One way I have used it to my advantage played out as such:
In a set wit two gals for about 15 minutes. Hitting it off. Some dude approaches who is just charming enough to establish himself in the conversation. I turn to the women and ask "you know this guy?" (This keeps me and the set in a bit of a bubble where it is us, and him the outsider). They say no, but he is persistent and his pressence is now a very strong reality. I can tell this guy has enough knowledge to be dangerous to his own game. He is clearly running routines and I get then sense he will shoot himself in the foot. I banter a bit with the three of them in a sort of bored manner. He then says something trying to tool me a bit. A subtle dig about me not getting some cultural reference. I say in a bored manner "if only we could all be so educated" then give both women a seductive look of knowing deep in there eyes. A look like what are you doing entertaining this nonsense. I give him a friendly pat on the on the back like "have at it my man" then I turn and walk away. I am not going to stick around wasting time while this dude runs lousy game and these gals entertain it. I could feel the energy get sucked out of the interaction when I left. They must have been thinking "fuck, we lost that cool dude and now we are stuck with this chump". Well I am not going to just abandon them like that. I hang out for a moment and chat some other folks, then return to the set when I can see it has really hit a low. I say to the guy "have they told you how they are part of the mafia yet?" One of the gals replies "yeah you'd better be careful around us" and now I have the gals on my team. They do their part in edging the guy outnofnthe convo. We create a strong bubble with eachother and he eventually just bounces. This whole debacle was actually just what I needed to solidify our connection.
I don't mind sharing a set with a guy who just gets it. But when some random waltzes up you have no idea what you are getting with the guy. That's why I focus my attention on the ladies and work to build an us screening him vibe. If the ladies are not quite on my team about it I show them that I can easily walk away. A king don't suffer no fools.

granted this is just one way this sort of thing can play out. But in general if you have rapport with the set already and you are screening the guy to see if he belongs where he says he does (in your already established conversation) then you are off on the right foot in setting the tone of how things will play out.

 

[ulrich]

Uncalibrated guy coming into your set can actually work to your advantage though. There are of course a lot of factors that play into it all. The level of rapport you have already built with the ladies of determains a lot of how you handle it it.

One way I have used it to my advantage played out as such:
In a set wit two gals for about 15 minutes. Hitting it off. Some dude approaches who is just charming enough to establish himself in the conversation. I turn to the women and ask "you know this guy?" (This keeps me and the set in a bit of a bubble where it is us, and him the outsider). They say no, but he is persistent and his pressence is now a very strong reality. I can tell this guy has enough knowledge to be dangerous to his own game. He is clearly running routines and I get then sense he will shoot himself in the foot. I banter a bit with the three of them in a sort of bored manner. He then says something trying to tool me a bit. A subtle dig about me not getting some cultural reference. I say in a bored manner "if only we could all be so educated" then give both women a seductive look of knowing deep in there eyes. A look like what are you doing entertaining this nonsense. I give him a friendly pat on the on the back like "have at it my man" then I turn and walk away. I am not going to stick around wasting time while this dude runs lousy game and these gals entertain it. I could feel the energy get sucked out of the interaction when I left. They must have been thinking "fuck, we lost that cool dude and now we are stuck with this chump". Well I am not going to just abandon them like that. I hang out for a moment and chat some other folks, then return to the set when I can see it has really hit a low. I say to the guy "have they told you how they are part of the mafia yet?" One of the gals replies "yeah you'd better be careful around us" and now I have the gals on my team. They do their part in edging the guy outnofnthe convo. We create a strong bubble with eachother and he eventually just bounces. This whole debacle was actually just what I needed to solidify our connection.
I don't mind sharing a set with a guy who just gets it. But when some random waltzes up you have no idea what you are getting with the guy. That's why I focus my attention on the ladies and work to build an us screening him vibe. If the ladies are not quite on my team about it I show them that I can easily walk away. A king don't suffer no fools.

granted this is just one way this sort of thing can play out. But in general if you have rapport with the set already and you are screening the guy to see if he belongs where he says he does (in your already established conversation) then you are off on the right foot in setting the tone of how things will play out.

Basically let the guy dig his own grave and then save them from him.
Good one, I’m going to try it next time.

 

[StrayDog]

Basically let the guy dig his own grave and then save them from him.
Good one, I’m going to try it next time.

The dig his own grave approach only works best when it is clear he is the type to do that. Sometimes you are dealing with a somewhat skilled chap, indeed, and for some reason, he wants to tool you instead of being a partner. Leaving the set would be ill-advised.
Some key things that have helped me here are
A: Using the fact that you already have more rapport to your advantage
B: Focusing on your connection with the women instead of the dude
C: Being chill, non-reactive and non-competative
D: This one is key. Rolling with what he brings to the table and redirecting it towards your personal connection with the ladies.

Let's go a little further in-depth with this strategy.

The only way this man can edge you out of the conversation is if he can demonstrate that he is the more suitable man for the set. In order to do this, he must set a frame as such. Therefore it is crucial you do not engage heavily with the frames he sets for a few reasons
1: It takes focus and energy away from the connection you have established with the women.
2: It makes the interaction about you two competing.
3: It gives him the opportunity to lead the conversation in a direction that is beneficial for him and not for you

Straight up ignoring him is equally a bad strategy though as it shows that you are incapable of managing interference. Unattractive trait, to be certain.

You have an advantage, you already have solid rapport with the set and know tons about them.

First lets look at how not to do this

He has already established himself in the conversation a bit. Say you are an artist and you make a comment about how spontaneity is good for creativity.

Him (dismissively); Well that's definitely something an artist would say (shooting down your frame) Trickier when youre busy building an empire (attempting to establish his frame)
You: Well I am sure even emperors need creative inspiration (accepting his frame battle and in turn taking the energy and momentum away from the seduction you had already well established)

Now here's how it's done

Him: Well that's definitely something an artist would say. Trickier when you're busy building an empire

You: (showing indifference towards him) Huh, that's a way to look at things. (turning to the woman in the set who is well educated) Hey, you've spent a lot of time around entrepreneurs, I bet you've seen a lot of how empires are built. That trip to Spain for your friend's business sounded amazing! (using his conversation prompt to turn the energy back towards you and the gals)

Rinse and repeat. His coming in with a competitive attitude already has him on the wrong foot eventually it shall be revealed, and his presence will wear thin.

Keep in mind that the are a lot of factors in these dynamics but the key takeaways are

A: Using the fact that you already have more rapport to your advantage
B: Focusing on your connection with the women instead of the dude
C: Being chill, non-reactive and non-competitive
D: Rolling with what he brings to the table and leading it towards your personal connection with the ladies.

You are already one step ahead of him. Keep it that way

-Stray Dog

 

[StrayDog]

While we are at it here are some signs a random dude will be a solid wing. He approaches with a frame that you are currently in the lead of the interaction. He shows an awareness of the natural flow of conversation. He brings something compelling and seductive to the table. He observations about you to help assist and hype you up. He has solid fundamentals. He games in a way that will clearly not blowout the set

It is always a risk bringing a random into the set though. Even if he seems to have a solid game, you just don't know how he will operate under the gun or that he has your best interest in mind. That said, a solid random wing can work wonders and after a little screening, you will generally get a sense if this is the man for the job. Never be too quick to loop a dude into your set and even if he brings a little to the table, unless he is really adding tons of value to the seduction you already have a well-established momentum in... Don't even consider it in the least.

also, here is a great article about avoiding sharks in the first place
https://www.girlschase.com › content › steal-your-girl

 

[ulrich]

The dig his own grave approach only works best when it is clear he is the type to do that. Sometimes you are dealing with a somewhat skilled chap, indeed, and for some reason, he wants to tool you instead of being a partner. Leaving the set would be ill-advised.
Some key things that have helped me here are
A: Using the fact that you already have more rapport to your advantage
B: Focusing on your connection with the women instead of the dude
C: Being chill, non-reactive and non-competative
D: This one is key. Rolling with what he brings to the table and redirecting it towards your personal connection with the ladies.

Let's go a little further in-depth with this strategy.

The only way this man can edge you out of the conversation is if he can demonstrate that he is the more suitable man for the set. In order to do this, he must set a frame as such. Therefore it is crucial you do not engage heavily with the frames he sets for a few reasons
1: It takes focus and energy away from the connection you have established with the women.
2: It makes the interaction about you two competing.
3: It gives him the opportunity to lead the conversation in a direction that is beneficial for him and not for you

Straight up ignoring him is equally a bad strategy though as it shows that you are incapable of managing interference. Unattractive trait, to be certain.

You have an advantage, you already have solid rapport with the set and know tons about them.

First lets look at how not to do this

He has already established himself in the conversation a bit. Say you are an artist and you make a comment about how spontaneity is good for creativity.

Him (dismissively); Well that's definitely something an artist would say (shooting down your frame) Trickier when youre busy building an empire (attempting to establish his frame)
You: Well I am sure even emperors need creative inspiration (accepting his frame battle and in turn taking the energy and momentum away from the seduction you had already well established)

Now here's how it's done

Him: Well that's definitely something an artist would say. Trickier when you're busy building an empire

You: (showing indifference towards him) Huh, that's a way to look at things. (turning to the woman in the set who is well educated) Hey, you've spent a lot of time around entrepreneurs, I bet you've seen a lot of how empires are built. That trip to Spain for your friend's business sounded amazing! (using his conversation prompt to turn the energy back towards you and the gals)

Rinse and repeat. His coming in with a competitive attitude already has him on the wrong foot eventually it shall be revealed, and his presence will wear thin.

Keep in mind that the are a lot of factors in these dynamics but the key takeaways are

A: Using the fact that you already have more rapport to your advantage
B: Focusing on your connection with the women instead of the dude
C: Being chill, non-reactive and non-competitive
D: Rolling with what he brings to the table and leading it towards your personal connection with the ladies.

You are already one step ahead of him. Keep it that way

-Stray Dog

Great advice @StrayDog, thank you.

Funnily, the guy I was talking about blew the set precisely because he was not skilled.
Has he been skilled and recognized that I was working the girl, I would have welcomed as my wing.

Anyway, live and learn.