- Joined
- Sep 26, 2017
- Messages
- 10
Hi
New this this whole thing. My story is I'm 30 and recently out of a 4 year relationship which I was initially upset about but now see as a good thing.
I read the book The Game 5 years ago but never put it into practice. Only recently did I remember how intriguing it was and found this site.
Anyway, I've always been ok with women and since the breakup (which was 3 months ago) I've met a few in bars and have had sex with 2. However, I tend to rely heavily on dutch courage and then when I do approach, I might as well hand them a questionnaire to fill out. I could do with some help.
So recently I met a girl on Facebook - I randomly added her after being struck by her profile (probably not the best way to start out but she hasn't seemed to hold this against me). She's a foreign girl living here (Ireland) and working as a doctor. We talked on facebook, i played it relatively cool, and we met for a date a month later (last weekend). She travels a lot and lives in a city about an hour away so I had to drive there. She's absolutely gorgeous, exotic, a 9, smart, confident, witty and very career driven. Maybe a little self-obsessed but that's understandable given everything she has going for her (her eyes seem to glaze over when we got to talk about my life, not hers).
The date went well, at least in my eyes. We laughed a good bit and were easy in each others company. She was supposed to leave by 7.30pm, but she ended up staying til 9.30pm. There was no kissing or anything at the end and we left with vague plans to meet again as she travels so often. Having read some articles on this site, I think that was a big mistake, but in my defense, she lived with relatives so there was no chance of going back to hers, and i live an hour away.
I (stupidly) texted her that night (I'd had a few beers at this stage) saying it was good to meet her, i enjoyed her company, and next time we meet we should go to a gig (we'd been talking about live music). She replied saying it was nice to meet me too, then sent a funny youtube video asking if I'd seen it. I know, not a great sign. Afterwards, I realised we only touched twice - a hug at the start and end. But I really like her and would like to see her again. I'm pretty
sure I like an idealised version of her and the exotic foreign beauty thing is 98% of that. But I don't care for now, I'd love to see her again. It's tricky though as she lives anywhere from 1 hour to 4 hours away depending on which hospital she's stationed at. I've other plans for the next 2 weekends and she's stationed up north but the weekend after I was going to invite her to go hiking - that's a big interest of hers, she has no interest in drinking which would be my choice for a date, and I faked a bit of interest in hiking already. So couple of questions:
1/ have I messed up by not making a move - or even having physical contact - on the first date? I'm pretty sure, given how gorgeous she is, she's being chased hard by others
2/ do I wait for about 2 and 1/2 weeks and then ask her to go for the hike (which would be in 3 weeks)? I know not to go down the road of "hey, how was your day" etc. I think it's best to not contact until a direct invite to go on a hike
3/ am I wasting my time as she's either not interested - as indicated by responding to my suggestion about the gig by sending a funny video?
4/ am I wasting my time cos she's so career driven and lives far away?
New this this whole thing. My story is I'm 30 and recently out of a 4 year relationship which I was initially upset about but now see as a good thing.
I read the book The Game 5 years ago but never put it into practice. Only recently did I remember how intriguing it was and found this site.
Anyway, I've always been ok with women and since the breakup (which was 3 months ago) I've met a few in bars and have had sex with 2. However, I tend to rely heavily on dutch courage and then when I do approach, I might as well hand them a questionnaire to fill out. I could do with some help.
So recently I met a girl on Facebook - I randomly added her after being struck by her profile (probably not the best way to start out but she hasn't seemed to hold this against me). She's a foreign girl living here (Ireland) and working as a doctor. We talked on facebook, i played it relatively cool, and we met for a date a month later (last weekend). She travels a lot and lives in a city about an hour away so I had to drive there. She's absolutely gorgeous, exotic, a 9, smart, confident, witty and very career driven. Maybe a little self-obsessed but that's understandable given everything she has going for her (her eyes seem to glaze over when we got to talk about my life, not hers).
The date went well, at least in my eyes. We laughed a good bit and were easy in each others company. She was supposed to leave by 7.30pm, but she ended up staying til 9.30pm. There was no kissing or anything at the end and we left with vague plans to meet again as she travels so often. Having read some articles on this site, I think that was a big mistake, but in my defense, she lived with relatives so there was no chance of going back to hers, and i live an hour away.
I (stupidly) texted her that night (I'd had a few beers at this stage) saying it was good to meet her, i enjoyed her company, and next time we meet we should go to a gig (we'd been talking about live music). She replied saying it was nice to meet me too, then sent a funny youtube video asking if I'd seen it. I know, not a great sign. Afterwards, I realised we only touched twice - a hug at the start and end. But I really like her and would like to see her again. I'm pretty
sure I like an idealised version of her and the exotic foreign beauty thing is 98% of that. But I don't care for now, I'd love to see her again. It's tricky though as she lives anywhere from 1 hour to 4 hours away depending on which hospital she's stationed at. I've other plans for the next 2 weekends and she's stationed up north but the weekend after I was going to invite her to go hiking - that's a big interest of hers, she has no interest in drinking which would be my choice for a date, and I faked a bit of interest in hiking already. So couple of questions:
1/ have I messed up by not making a move - or even having physical contact - on the first date? I'm pretty sure, given how gorgeous she is, she's being chased hard by others
2/ do I wait for about 2 and 1/2 weeks and then ask her to go for the hike (which would be in 3 weeks)? I know not to go down the road of "hey, how was your day" etc. I think it's best to not contact until a direct invite to go on a hike
3/ am I wasting my time as she's either not interested - as indicated by responding to my suggestion about the gig by sending a funny video?
4/ am I wasting my time cos she's so career driven and lives far away?
