Wording an Ask-Out Text

[NotJamesBond]

So this isn't a huge deal but I may have had a better chance with this girl if I worded this shit better, tell me what you think:

Context: Known her for years, teen years, she's back in my circle. In the interest of not dragging things out, I asked her if she wanted to catch up over lunch pretty quick after a couple catch-up texts.

EDIT: I want to add- this is after seeing her once already with one of my crews (2 girls 2 guys, I'm obviously one of the guys, we're college-age) after not seeing her in like 2 years. I just feel like I worded it pretty shitly or could have had more nuance to it or something.

Small snippet of convo asking her where she works now-

"Starbucks haha."
"Trendy. How long?"
"About 4 months haha."
"That's good. Would you want to catch up over lunch sometime? I'm free Friday"

Shortly after I sent this I second-guessed how I worded it. "Would you want" just sounds like it could be better, sort of faggot-ish if you'll pardon the boorish term. I feel like I should have said something like:
"That's good, lol. Would you be free Friday instead, to catch up over lunch?"

Earlier in the convo I asked her if she wanted to join me and our friends on a beach day (I'm still in college so it still works) which is why I said 'instead'. Further, she couldn't do the beach day because she had work. The issue isn't hanging out with her, it's just getting her 1-on-1 and maybe if I worded it better it could have tipped the scales...It doesn't really matter at all, I was just wondering about the phrasing "Would you want to" and how important phrasing is, with these examples in particular.

Texting blows ass, it's so much better in person...

...On second-second thought, what I said is ultimately fine...Any help is appreciated.

 

[MichaelGScott]

Would you want sounds weak, and by saying you're free Friday from the get go means she only has to say she's busy Friday, and any other attempts mean you're chasing. Always use: "We should" grab a bite to eat, what's your schedule like this week? See how we should sounds next to would you want? Would you want sounds timid, like you're expecting her to say no. We should implies you're confident, like she has something to gain by your social value.

 

[Parkour]

Both bits of advice above sound good. I've been on the other end of this for business meetings and it's strangely similar.
I feel like it's definitely stonger to say something like. "We should catch up over lunch. I'm available Friday, that work for you?"
It implies that you aren't always available which is a good thing and let's you lead the interaction. I don't know the exact way to handle it if she declines (there are other good articles on here) but it at least comes across confidently like you are interested (attainable) but busy (high value). It also leaves it slightly ambiguous about your level of interest which means you are less likely to fall into the trap of qualifying yourself.

 

[NotJamesBond]

Excellent advice, gentlemen. Top shelf. I read Chase's great articles on texting and asking out ages ago but it was rusty. Found myself thinking "Of course!" When you reminded me, radeng.

Splitting up texts is great advice. The fact you can't build a good impression over text is sound too.

So I sent it as I said, but I'll be more general and change the wording next time. But it worked! We had lunch Friday a week ago. It went well, I asked for a follow-up and she said she wants to figure out school stuff and get cozy with that first-class in two weeks (one now). I know it may sound bad but I am in the same situation so was kind of relieved. That was also a week ago so I got a week before we reconnect (not going to text her during the cool off period). My next question is- how to handle this? Text her first after a bit? I'm not pining over her or waiting for her, I have other women I'm talking to. This would just be cool to see go somewhere since I've known her so long and people have dropped hints we should date since high school. If it happens it happens...How should I play it?



Thanks for the brief but fruitful discussion to all of you. Good ideas getting kicked around.