Worrying too much

[daviddreamer]

This website has changed my life. In fact the skills and knowledge I gained from this site has transformed me into a much better man and now I have a girlfriend that absolutely loves me to death (even though we haven't had sex yet ugh that is a different story we're in a distance and she wouldn't give it up till marriage but she wants to now...). We have been in a relationship for 6 months. I would consider it my first serious one...the ones before not so much the love is kinda ridiculous here I haven't had a girl cry over me yet like she has when she misses me. I'm pretty sure what we have is the caring partner (me) + Loving partner (her) dynamic...Me being "strong/inexperienced" and her being "weak/inexperienced" but lately with my worrying issues I am wondering if I am weaker then I think...

Anyway enough of that the real issue I have here is I worry way too much. Very excessively and to the point I am losing sleep at night. I over-analyze and over-think every little thing when the majority of the time things are fine with us but part of me thinks this excessive worry is so I don't get complacent and keep this relationship going strong so its kind of a viscious cycle.

I need some help on this...lately I have been looking into meditation and stuff and if anyone has advice please let me know.

 

[moonrayarc]

well there's a very effective technique used to treat phobias, called ERP, short for "exposure response prevention". to make it simple : know what are the fears or worries you're facing, let them come or provoke them in your mind even when you're feeling not worried, BUT do not try to find or think of reasons why you shouldn't worry, or why it is ok.
Exposure = exposure to the fear or the worry
Response prevention : prevent coping mechanism to alleviate the worry even if you feel the utmost pain
it's a desensitizing method that need a little time and effort to implement, but, trust me, it is worth it

 

[daviddreamer]

I think I have this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationsh ... e_disorder

 

[moonrayarc]

you can see this way, or you can see as a problem in your mindset. We can go all along thinking that any kind of obsessive thinking is a disorder, whereas it is just a normal human experience, you can read Chase's article of "I can't stop thinking about her" which talks of the obsession with some girl you haven't been with yet, and i think most of guys has experienced that, especially in the beginning of their dating life, so should we go labeling this situation as "dating obsessional compulsive disorder"? don't think so, as you get more experienced, get more options with girls and generally get more confidence in your pick up abilities, you do not tend to obsess over one girl anymore...and you can extrapolate this on relationships.
just try to find a way to get rid of your worries now, and try to fix your mindset in your "peace of mind" periods

 

[daviddreamer]

I don't really obsess about her I just over-analyze everything about the relationship and stuff.... I am well aware there are tons of women out there probably better then her.