- Joined
- Jan 28, 2013
- Messages
- 35
This is a follow up to a previous OR I wrote, in which I had set up a 1-on-1 with a girl at my place, so if you want the back story, read that post first.
So she arrives to my apartment, an hour late...which will actually turn out to work in my favor. The plan was to have a couple drinks, then head to main st. But since she was an hour late, it was very easy for me to say after the second drink, "Well, it's really cold outside and warm in here (it was a 9 degree F wind chill), there's free beer at my place and the bars will close soon after we get there since it's so late now (again, we were an hour behind), why don't we just stay in and have another drink here?" Of course everything reason I had for staying in made logical sense, so she had no problem with anything.
Now that we know she stayed in to drink with me, let me lay out how the night went in my eyes...
I definitely had a plan for the night, to which I stuck pretty well, with the exception of a couple things. So I'm going to list out the things I thought I did well and the things I think I did poorly, give a few notes to follow, and then end with a summary.
But first, I think it makes more sense to say how the night ended, then go into my analysis. Things began with the two of us engaging in a very passionate make out session in the living room. So I ended up taking her to my bed, got some clothes off, fingered her a bit and she played with my cock a little as well. Why did it stop there you might ask... I literally fell asleep, like, passed the fuck out, in the middle of taking her pants off [cue "womp track"]
What I did well:
What I didn't do so well:
To start off, it was really just one GENERAL thing I didn't do well, but there were multiple instances I can reflect on where I didn't move fast enough, so I'll list them all out here.
A few notes:
In conclusion, I could have, AND SHOULD HAVE definitely moved faster...WAY FASTER!!! But due to no sexual contact in our previous meet ups, I had begun to value this girl as more of girlfriend material (due to the fact that all 3 previous outings went GREAT). I had invested too much; she provided me with many things I valued highly like horseback riding. My brain was telling me to take it slower because if I screwed something up, I would lose everything she had to offer me. I learned a very important lesson from this girl: don't invest too much too soon and don't value a girl too highly before you've taken her to bed.
With that all said, turns out she left an undershirt on my floor when she got dressed. So I was able to easily set up another meet with her, and this time, I made my intentions much clearer. Instead of saying, "You ought to come pick up your shirt you left here," I made sure to find a time for her to come pick it up that coincided with a time that she would be able to stay a while. We scheduled a time (tomorrow night) and I told her she should stick around for a drink and a movie. Even better than her just saying yes, she told me she will tell her parents ahead of time that she won't be coming home. BINGO!
And this time, things won't move so slowly...in fact, I can guarantee whichever movie we watch, it won't matter, because we won't make it 30 minutes into the film.
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PS: I realize this one could have either been labeled FR++ or FU, depending on how you look at it. Since she's returning to my place tomorrow (wednesday) night, and plans are already made that she'll be sleeping over for the night, I'm confident my next report will be a LR, so I decided to call this a FR++ instead of a "fuck up."
So she arrives to my apartment, an hour late...which will actually turn out to work in my favor. The plan was to have a couple drinks, then head to main st. But since she was an hour late, it was very easy for me to say after the second drink, "Well, it's really cold outside and warm in here (it was a 9 degree F wind chill), there's free beer at my place and the bars will close soon after we get there since it's so late now (again, we were an hour behind), why don't we just stay in and have another drink here?" Of course everything reason I had for staying in made logical sense, so she had no problem with anything.
Now that we know she stayed in to drink with me, let me lay out how the night went in my eyes...
I definitely had a plan for the night, to which I stuck pretty well, with the exception of a couple things. So I'm going to list out the things I thought I did well and the things I think I did poorly, give a few notes to follow, and then end with a summary.
But first, I think it makes more sense to say how the night ended, then go into my analysis. Things began with the two of us engaging in a very passionate make out session in the living room. So I ended up taking her to my bed, got some clothes off, fingered her a bit and she played with my cock a little as well. Why did it stop there you might ask... I literally fell asleep, like, passed the fuck out, in the middle of taking her pants off [cue "womp track"]
What I did well:
- I complimented her well, several times, trying to practice some techniques listed in Chase's article How to Compliment a Girl Like You've Known Her for Years. She definitely responded very well to this.
- I dove deep and really got her to open up about her sex life. I think this is really important when you hit this step because when you are talking to a girl about sex, sooo many barriers have been lifted. This is taboo to talk about in mainstream dating advice, and most of society in general. And since she's opened up to this level, you're very unlikely to get the proverbial "I don't even know you" line when trying to escalate.
- During our conversation, I kept it centered around her, while using my now refined conversationalist skills.
- I actually got her to stay in/over.
- I really wanted to make sure I was keeping a sexy vibe about myself all night. I wanted to keep a kind of slanted smile when she was talking, have good posture, and you know, just have that super sexy celebrity look that makes girls go crazy. I'm pretty sure I did this very well.
What I didn't do so well:
To start off, it was really just one GENERAL thing I didn't do well, but there were multiple instances I can reflect on where I didn't move fast enough, so I'll list them all out here.
- Moved slowly - I think the obvious one is that had I not waited so long to escalate, I wouldn't have fallen asleep right before we were about to have sex.
- Moved slowly - I didn't read her signs of showing interest very well, while hindsight's always 20/20. Several times throughout the night, she showed signs of wanting to be taken to bed, IMMEDIATELY! Here are a few examples: (1) she asked if I had a roommate and if he was home; (2) since she lives with her parents still (...at 24? I know...), her mom likes to check in but when her mom called several times, she never answered, indicating she was planning to stay overnight; (3) she asked if she could put on my cowboy boots, which she knew were in my room. I'm an IDIOT for not capitalizing here, as she was essentially undressing herself in my bedroom...
- Moved slowly - after talking for roughly 3 hours, she decided she wanted to play some 1-on-1 beer pong. I should have deflected this suggestion and taken her to bed right then and there. But I was tipsy at this point, and couldn't pass up a game of beer pong...
- Moved slowly - Waited so long that my roommate came home at 1:30 AM and we were still playing beer pong. Then she asked him to join her team (since I was killing her, even with my eyes closed) and play with us. This only prolonged physical escalation further, and also made us more drunk/more likely to fall asleep during physical escalation...
A few notes:
- I think I was hesitant to pull the trigger because our previous 3 outings had not involved any physical/sexual contact, all due to poor pre-planning on my part.
- We also smoked a little bit of the good stuff when my roommate came home, which probably only perpetuated my eventual early tap-out.
- In the middle of one of the games of beer pong, she came over to my side, grabbed me and pulled me close to her. At this point, I was like, "Alright, she's into me!" and I held her close to me. Then we began to passionately make out. My roommate went to his room and shortly after, my girl and I went to mine.
In conclusion, I could have, AND SHOULD HAVE definitely moved faster...WAY FASTER!!! But due to no sexual contact in our previous meet ups, I had begun to value this girl as more of girlfriend material (due to the fact that all 3 previous outings went GREAT). I had invested too much; she provided me with many things I valued highly like horseback riding. My brain was telling me to take it slower because if I screwed something up, I would lose everything she had to offer me. I learned a very important lesson from this girl: don't invest too much too soon and don't value a girl too highly before you've taken her to bed.
With that all said, turns out she left an undershirt on my floor when she got dressed. So I was able to easily set up another meet with her, and this time, I made my intentions much clearer. Instead of saying, "You ought to come pick up your shirt you left here," I made sure to find a time for her to come pick it up that coincided with a time that she would be able to stay a while. We scheduled a time (tomorrow night) and I told her she should stick around for a drink and a movie. Even better than her just saying yes, she told me she will tell her parents ahead of time that she won't be coming home. BINGO!
And this time, things won't move so slowly...in fact, I can guarantee whichever movie we watch, it won't matter, because we won't make it 30 minutes into the film.
--------------
PS: I realize this one could have either been labeled FR++ or FU, depending on how you look at it. Since she's returning to my place tomorrow (wednesday) night, and plans are already made that she'll be sleeping over for the night, I'm confident my next report will be a LR, so I decided to call this a FR++ instead of a "fuck up."
