FR++ you haven`t earnt that medal

[stratvm]

BACKGROUND: met online, texted a short while, asked her out, said yes.

SCENES: totally comfortable, the building i live which have a number of bars & restaurants so
a) easy to move around a lot
b) when girls flake i dont waste any time

- meeting downstairs, short talk, some deep dive, after spending 10-15mins we go to next location
- top bar, longer (maybe too long) interaction >>> she has an important feedback when we are talking about men and how they come across (austin powers vs sean connery in james bond) and tells me im rather austin powers

*** DEBUG: complete vibe revamp needed

- shifting to another lounge same building, more deep dive, some closer physical contact so
- taking to my flat which is easy, seems natural
- CNN left on before i went down for her, takings shoes off
- show her around, tries massage chair (maybe this was too long, extended her stay without me going for the kiss for 15mins)
- going for the kiss, dragging her closer, feel the resistance, persisting, fail
- she is definitely trying to be in charge
- LMR FTW: she is comfortable me touching all over - legs, stomach, arms, neck BUT no kiss, no breasts and doesnt let me going between her legs ("you havent earnt that medal)

anyway the whole story ends - while being comfortable that we call it a day and decide to meet today but - as usual im thinking i rather skip it.

FURTHER ACTIONS: unfortunately she texted later that night she got home safe >>> i replied unfortunately that i was going to text her today for the meetup for which she didnt write anything.

i think i try out the flaking tactics, so i just dont write anything today (not really hard because i im writing this report i get more and more upset on my inability to bed her despite having her pulled home very easy). she is a stewardess & she flies out tomorrow so will be off the city.

 

[stratvm]

Re: FR++ you haven`t earnt that medal

the end of story was that we met the next day and i got upset on her so much that i had to end any interaction with her forever.

rejecting girls especially if they are somewhat invested is fun.

 

[BlackBolt]

Re: FR++ you haven`t earnt that medal

Hey Bro, I went through the same thing. Girl lets you touch her everywhere, then rejects the kiss! Its so annoying because you get them to your place so easily, only to have to deal with that =(.

 

[Chase]

Re: FR++ you haven`t earnt that medal

the end of story was that we met the next day and i got upset on her so much that i had to end any interaction with her forever.

rejecting girls especially if they are somewhat invested is fun.

What happened here, strat?

I'd try to avoid taking too much pleasure out of spite... while I know it can be tempting when you're feeling bitter, there's a lot more pleasure to be had in making girls scream with joy than in making them sob with pain.

Chase

 

[Laowai]

Indeed, Strat.... What happened?

the end of story was that we met the next day and i got upset on her so much that i had to end any interaction with her forever.

That all sounds mighty romantic!

You're reacting. Will that get you anything instead of a jerk stamp in her world? Maybe she deserved it or maybe she didn't, but do you want to be the kind of man who acts calm and smooth during set-backs and shrugs it off, or do you want to be the one who sneers at girls in anger and disappointment?

I was the second guy for a long time when my dates left my apartment again and again without me gettin' no honey, because I wasn't AWARE that I was reacting and that it did a number of bad things to me and the future potential I had for getting the girl. As soon as some guys pointed out to me that I was reacting, and that there was a better way of carrying myself, I realized that I have a choice of how to act and deal with it.

rejecting girls especially if they are somewhat invested is fun.

That's exactly what Darth Vader said in Episode IV: A New Hope

Sounds like you're coming from a needy, reactive, and outcome-dependent mindset. Do yourself a favour and work on it : )

- LMR FTW: she is comfortable me touching all over - legs, stomach, arms, neck BUT no kiss, no breasts and doesnt let me going between her legs ("you havent earnt that medal)

So you didn't play tight game after all. I'm guessing you just missed more comfort/qualification. You did move very fast after all.

In some cases physical intimacy can turn her on in these situations if you do other things right... so she didnt wanna kiss you? You could have started to smell her hair and smell her neck. Sometimes that will make them crazy with sinful passion... I banged a girl once who never allowed me to kiss her on her mouth, but instead I smelled her hair and neck, and was able to progress to sex that way.

- she is definitely trying to be in charge

Because she is uncomfortable and wary of your actions and agenda. Stepping back and not pushing your escalation would have communicated to her that you actually care about her feelings and are not willing to push past her boundary and that you don't only want to use her as a cock pocket / cum bucket... cock bucket? :O

... so you take a step back, chill as if nothing's wrong, refrain from reacting and don't let your disappointment show, and THEN you try again and will most likely get further.

FURTHER ACTIONS: unfortunately she texted later that night she got home safe >>> i replied unfortunately that i was going to text her today for the meetup for which she didnt write anything.

Why unfortunately?

You chose to burn your bridge to this one, but why?

 

[stratvm]

fair point you have guys here again.

The 1st night i wrote the initial report ended in a chilled way as i gave a 5% chance something could develop from it.

3 things made me upset in particular:
- she tried to be in charge the whole time especially from the time we were in my apartment - in a very obvious way, something i havent really experienced much so far (she was totally willing to move with me & stuff at the same time though)
- she positioned herself as some kind of trophy or prize and stated this many times
- she tried to set me in the light that i was a nice guy and would rather come across as austin powers to sean connery to james bond (this was part of our conversation which was who she would rather get laid by, it was a bad idea to speak about it i know)

the next day i didnt even want to ask her out for this last reason as i knew i had blown it probably. but i keep myself to my words so i told her to meet which she accepted.

we met around my workplace and walked over to a restaurant where the last dip in the glass was that i was pouring water for myself then put down the bottle and laid back THEN she asked me to pour to her too. then we discussed
- i dont like stuff like this (the gentleman-story) and the girl trying to be in charge in general
- i dont like the attitude and if the fact that im not a gentleman bothers her then it made no point to continue the conversation >>> she backpedaled at this point apologizing and getting really embarrassed

nevertheless i told her to get back to my flat for a nightcap then call it a day as she had to fly out
she didnt let me kiss her and refused any kind of intimacy in general pointing out she needed time to warm up THEN
.
.
.
she told me she was really looking for a boyfriend who supports her financially(!!!!!!!)

needless to say i told her that it was pointless to continue conversation and sent her home. whatever the outcome was i knew it was really my fault that i didnt manage to escalate the stuff properly on date 1.

at the same time ive just met a girl today with who im at FR++ stage @mom which could turn out to be LR (or LR+ in fact) later today. i`m really thankful to you guys for getting me moving fast and focus only on girls who are interested, helps me to save a lot of emotions (and time & effort).

 

[Chase]

3 things made me upset in particular:
- she tried to be in charge the whole time especially from the time we were in my apartment - in a very obvious way, something i havent really experienced much so far (she was totally willing to move with me & stuff at the same time though)
- she positioned herself as some kind of trophy or prize and stated this many times
- she tried to set me in the light that i was a nice guy and would rather come across as austin powers to sean connery to james bond (this was part of our conversation which was who she would rather get laid by, it was a bad idea to speak about it i know)

...

she told me she was really looking for a boyfriend who supports her financially(!!!!!!!)

needless to say i told her that it was pointless to continue conversation and sent her home. whatever the outcome was i knew it was really my fault that i didnt manage to escalate the stuff properly on date 1.

That "financial support" line almost sounds like solicitation - like she wants to be paid for sex / is a prostitute. I've had prostitutes use similar lines on me: "I'm not a prostitute! I just need a Christmas gift because I'm out of work right now."

Anyway, yes - it sounds like for whatever reason she did not see you as a powerful, sexual, dominant authority figure, and instead as a man she could push around and who would have to play by her rules if he wanted to get anywhere with her.

The backpedalling on being challenged though implies that had you continued challenging her like this, you might've been able to break down this façade... but maybe it wasn't worth it.

at the same time ive just met a girl today with who im at FR++ stage @mom which could turn out to be LR (or LR+ in fact) later today. i`m really thankful to you guys for getting me moving fast and focus only on girls who are interested, helps me to save a lot of emotions (and time & effort).

Glad to hear it, strat. You're making steady progress - keep up the good work

Chase