- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 461
So this is a FR over two very drunken nights. I basically went to a lake with my friends and got drunk. We all brought some girls and I was hoping things would go well. The girl I brought I wasn't interested in and was really friends with some other girls who were going. No big deal, I'll hook up with someone else there. And I would have, could have, should have. I had two slam dunks and I dropped the ball. The biggest lesson to learn here is to be decisive and that girls NEED LED.
There were two major chances that I had, and a couple minor ones. I'll put up the major ones first, and where I went wrong. I would appreciate some feedback, and any advice you all might have.
Girl #1
I was chilling by myself in a chair in the house (I tend to do this a lot at parties. Sometimes it makes me approachable, sometimes not.), trying to figure out if I was drunk, buzzed or sober (I had been drinking for so long I couldn't tell). I was minding my own business when a girl bounds over to me and asks me if I want to play beer pong with her. She's cute, short with brown hair and a nice ass. So I say yes and we walk over to the table. Lots of physical touch opportunities here, and she's having a great time and leaning up to me. Unfortunately, when I tried to swat the ball away when they bounced, she went for it too and while our hands touched and we had a moment, we missed the ball and lost. Neither of us were too happy about losing, but had been saying how I wanted to go up to the roof of the house and "talk". I figured kissing a girl on a roof next to a gorgeous lake was pretty damn romantic. So we went up the stairs and around looking for a way to get up onto the roof. My mental clock was going off like crazy and I realized that I was taking too long. I held her hand for a little, but not long enough. I should have just pulled her into an empty room and made out with her. When we finally got onto the roof, there were people out there already. We were out there for all of two minutes before my fraternity brothers swooped in to cock block (when you have to actively isolate girls to make sure your "brothers" don't cock block you, there's a problem. I wouldn't advise people to go Greek. Too many guys fighting over too many girls) Oh well. Lesson learned. I need to just go for it. Setting time limits and having a process for a new place will help here.
The second girl was a girl that one of my brothers brought. They had sex the last night but now were having issues and she didn't really want to be with him, last night or today. We had been talking for a while and she was enjoying it. I had a pretty easy approach and conversation was good. At one point she got a little bratty and started dancing on the table (clear ploy for attention), so I ignored for a while then told her to get down, and that she was making a scene (in a little nicer/jokingly tone than that of course). She then tells me she doesn't want to sleep in her date's bed.
So being the gentleman that I am, I offered her mine
. So we get in and she tells me how she's been seeing this other guy, and brags that they had once had sex for 4 hours straight (qualifying herself). I make a joke about endurance and continue the conversation. At this point she is in my bed and clearly into me, but I'm just not sure if I want her (a little late to be indecisive now XC). She then brags that its possibly her last weekend single and she wants to enjoy herself (pretty clear pull), and then tells me how great I'd be with her friend (weak push, but a clear sign of attraction). I should have kissed her here. DUH. But I wasn't sure if I wanted her or not and just talked about her friend. Obviously I need to take the lead here. She's in my fucking bed, told me she wants to have fun on her last night, and then told me how good I'd be with her friend (this is also a sign that my value is more in the BF range). Anyways, I eventually decide that I don't want her, but her staying the night in my bed could be good pre-selection. I missed the opportunity and didn't lead her, and she wasn't too happy about it (next time I saw her she was with her "new bf" and was cold). Anyways I got the pre-selection that I wanted when my date walked in the next morning as the other girl came out of my bathroom. That was a pretty good feeling, although it would have been better if I had gotten with her.
I also had two minor opportunities. The first was when a unattractive girl who I'm friends with (but wants to hook up) asked me to say something honest to her. Being as drunk as I was, I said something not honest and mean. We're not talking right now. Oh well. I feel bad for hurting her, but don't really want to apologize. If I do, I'll use Chase's article.
The second opportunity was when a girl was clearly scanning around on the dance floor. We made eye contact twice and she might have even smiled, but I didn't approach. Again, my problem was a lack of decisive leadership. Eventually she danced and made out with another guy. I'm limiting my options by not approaching. Really need to fix this approach anxiety.
Lessons to learn:
I need to decide within ten minutes of meeting a girl what I want with her. And not think about it again. It will prevent these situations from happening again.
I need to LEAD. Simple as that. I could have had two make outs and probably lays if I had just led here.
Positives:
I got pretty strong signs of attraction from both girls. Obviously I'm doing something right.
Negatives:
I'm not going for it. Simple as that.
Hope this is a lesson for everyone here that you have to be decisive and lead. Don't make the mistakes that I did here!
There were two major chances that I had, and a couple minor ones. I'll put up the major ones first, and where I went wrong. I would appreciate some feedback, and any advice you all might have.
Girl #1
I was chilling by myself in a chair in the house (I tend to do this a lot at parties. Sometimes it makes me approachable, sometimes not.), trying to figure out if I was drunk, buzzed or sober (I had been drinking for so long I couldn't tell). I was minding my own business when a girl bounds over to me and asks me if I want to play beer pong with her. She's cute, short with brown hair and a nice ass. So I say yes and we walk over to the table. Lots of physical touch opportunities here, and she's having a great time and leaning up to me. Unfortunately, when I tried to swat the ball away when they bounced, she went for it too and while our hands touched and we had a moment, we missed the ball and lost. Neither of us were too happy about losing, but had been saying how I wanted to go up to the roof of the house and "talk". I figured kissing a girl on a roof next to a gorgeous lake was pretty damn romantic. So we went up the stairs and around looking for a way to get up onto the roof. My mental clock was going off like crazy and I realized that I was taking too long. I held her hand for a little, but not long enough. I should have just pulled her into an empty room and made out with her. When we finally got onto the roof, there were people out there already. We were out there for all of two minutes before my fraternity brothers swooped in to cock block (when you have to actively isolate girls to make sure your "brothers" don't cock block you, there's a problem. I wouldn't advise people to go Greek. Too many guys fighting over too many girls) Oh well. Lesson learned. I need to just go for it. Setting time limits and having a process for a new place will help here.
The second girl was a girl that one of my brothers brought. They had sex the last night but now were having issues and she didn't really want to be with him, last night or today. We had been talking for a while and she was enjoying it. I had a pretty easy approach and conversation was good. At one point she got a little bratty and started dancing on the table (clear ploy for attention), so I ignored for a while then told her to get down, and that she was making a scene (in a little nicer/jokingly tone than that of course). She then tells me she doesn't want to sleep in her date's bed.
So being the gentleman that I am, I offered her mine
. So we get in and she tells me how she's been seeing this other guy, and brags that they had once had sex for 4 hours straight (qualifying herself). I make a joke about endurance and continue the conversation. At this point she is in my bed and clearly into me, but I'm just not sure if I want her (a little late to be indecisive now XC). She then brags that its possibly her last weekend single and she wants to enjoy herself (pretty clear pull), and then tells me how great I'd be with her friend (weak push, but a clear sign of attraction). I should have kissed her here. DUH. But I wasn't sure if I wanted her or not and just talked about her friend. Obviously I need to take the lead here. She's in my fucking bed, told me she wants to have fun on her last night, and then told me how good I'd be with her friend (this is also a sign that my value is more in the BF range). Anyways, I eventually decide that I don't want her, but her staying the night in my bed could be good pre-selection. I missed the opportunity and didn't lead her, and she wasn't too happy about it (next time I saw her she was with her "new bf" and was cold). Anyways I got the pre-selection that I wanted when my date walked in the next morning as the other girl came out of my bathroom. That was a pretty good feeling, although it would have been better if I had gotten with her.I also had two minor opportunities. The first was when a unattractive girl who I'm friends with (but wants to hook up) asked me to say something honest to her. Being as drunk as I was, I said something not honest and mean. We're not talking right now. Oh well. I feel bad for hurting her, but don't really want to apologize. If I do, I'll use Chase's article.
The second opportunity was when a girl was clearly scanning around on the dance floor. We made eye contact twice and she might have even smiled, but I didn't approach. Again, my problem was a lack of decisive leadership. Eventually she danced and made out with another guy. I'm limiting my options by not approaching. Really need to fix this approach anxiety.
Lessons to learn:
I need to decide within ten minutes of meeting a girl what I want with her. And not think about it again. It will prevent these situations from happening again.
I need to LEAD. Simple as that. I could have had two make outs and probably lays if I had just led here.
Positives:
I got pretty strong signs of attraction from both girls. Obviously I'm doing something right.
Negatives:
I'm not going for it. Simple as that.
Hope this is a lesson for everyone here that you have to be decisive and lead. Don't make the mistakes that I did here!
