- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 14
Today was my first ever gym approach (sort of, which you'll understand in a minute) so I thought I'd share.
Recently, I had a revelation that I wanted to get into the gym--not for reasons to attract women as I've honestly never looked at that as an inhibiting factor, but for my personal health benefits and long-term future. Thankfully, I have a friend who is super into the gym and was super excited when I told him I started doing at-home workouts and offered to take me to the gym with his guest pass. I had gone a few times and all I can say is that he wasn't lying when he said there were some beautiful women in there.
But the first couple times I was purely focused on the mission of working out plus I needed him to show me the ropes and he did. Plus, given I was new and a guest I definitely didn't want to seem like I was just there for tail.
Now with the backdrop out of the way, let's get into the events of today.
I hit my friend asking if he wanted to go today and he was down but that he couldn't stay so he'd just let me in.
He does and I head to do cardio. There's a couple women on the machines next to me I find attractive but when I get off they're still on so I make a mental note if I happen to run into them but I leave it. I go to sit down to just catch my breath after the workout when I see her. She's working out her abs (couldn't tell you the machine name though) and she looks really good to me. Nice ass, lean body, pretty face. I'm sitting on the chair doing my absolute best not to gawk at her like a fucking idiot.
Eventually she finishes on her machine and grabs her bag and water bottle. I know she's either going to another machine or to the locker room so I figure that's a good chance but she's walking very fast and heads into the locker room before I do it. BUT this is a blessing in disguise. Since she went to the locker room I make the judgement that she's probably done and she'll walk out after. So I decide to just wait it out, look like I'm catching my breath while glancing toward the locker to see if she comes out. In that downtime I decide to look up some articles on approaching in the gym as I've never done it before. I stumble upon an article from Chase about it. Though not all of those seemed to apply to me as I'm not a regular from there, I did take one thing from it. Which was to not act like everyone else, such as not to ask her to spot or corner her at a water fountain. And most importantly, not to keep the conversation about the gym. At this point, I decide that if she's leaving it'd be best to do it as I'm walking out, so it flows naturally. Ideally striking up conversation right as we're hitting the doors.
However, this girl gets out of the locker room and is walking toward the exits like she's on a mission. So fast that for a second I think maybe I shouldn't. But I'd already waited and I knew that I had to do it.
I walk as fast I could where it wouldn't be obvious that I was going after her (hopefully, anyway) but I couldn't catch her at the door. Unfortunately, she was already well on her way to the parking lot. Meaning, the approach wouldn't be as smooth but like I said I had committed.
I follow her on the sidewalk, get to her side, and glance at her as if I just noticed her and say:
"I saw you in there and I gotta say you were going fucking hard. You were killing it in there."
Her: "haha thanks" (Okay, not the best, but I'm trying not to eject early in set)
Me: Ya I just recently started going so it's awesome to see people doing so good. Makes me want to get there. Makes me more consistent."
Her: "Ya you gotta stay consistent"
Me: "I agree. So what are your goals with it?"
Her: *seems to open up a little more* "Oh I'm just tryna stay lean. I'm honestly pretty happy with where I'm at."
Me: "That's cool! How long you been doing it for?"
Her: "Five years."
Me: "Whoa that's crazy I'm only at like a month. I gotta long way to catch up to you."
At this point, we're walking in the parking structure. I know I can't just follow her to her car so I know that I want to stop and actually hold a conversation with her. I'm not totally convinced she's hooked to do that but I just stop walking and thankfully she stops too which is good.
I wish I remembered every detail of our conversation but eventually she just really starts getting talkative. She discusses how she recently fasted for the first time and felt awesome about it until she broke it because of her friend accidentally giving her something with calories in it. It's at some point during this where I introduced myself as we hadn't exchanged names yet. She likes my name.
At some point I'm discussing why I started getting into the gym and she says "Hold on let me check you out" and says "You look fine. You're acting like you way out of shape or something" and I explain to her that I didn't get into it because of the vanity aspect of the gym but for the health benefits long-term and she seems to respect it.
Eventually I ask what she does for work and she says she works with attorneys and I ask if she likes what she does and she says emphatically that she does not. I ask her what would she be doing if she wasn't doing that. She says that she wants something where she's helping people but also something she's as passionate about as she is at the gym but also something that affords her time and money to travel.
I say:
"I can tell you're very dedicated."
Her: "How can you tell that?"
Me: "The way you talk about it, the way you look, it's pretty obvious." I then go deeper. "That's why I don't have any worries that you're gonna be fine in whatever it is you ultimately settle on doing, you're gonna fucking kill it. If you approach with the way you approach the gym, you're gonna have nothing to worry about. I know it."
She then says "No" very suddenly and I'm very confused. But then she touches her airpods. I ask what happened and she says she got a call but declined it. At this point, I know I should probably go for the close.
I say: "So...if I were to ask you out for a coffee or a smoothie, what would your answer be?" (In hindsight, I think phrasing it like this made it a bit too big of a deal).
Her: "I would say not right now...I'm not in the headspace for it right now. I just got out of a relationship and I want to heal first."
Me: "I get that. But texting won't hurt. Let's exchange contact information and we can go from there."
However, she says that she still doesn't want to because she feels she wouldn't want someone going out with her knowing that there were feelings for someone else there.
[I think next time if I encounter a rejection instead of attempting to tackle it logically, I think I'll just frame it as a ridiculous reason to not pursue something with someone. Perhaps I'll say "Ohhh yea it would be so horrible hanging out with someone you like talking to during a breakup. How will you recover?" or something along that vein. What do you guys think?"]
I end up using a yes-ladder with questions I can't specifically remember. But they were questions about whether she enjoyed talking to me, if it would be fun to do again, etc. And she answered all three with yes. So I said "Let me keep in contact with you then."
She sort-of suggested we'd see each other at the gym again but I told her that this isn't a gym I'd be attending regularly I'm just here as a guest right now (which I had mentioned earlier so she knew that it wasn't just a tactic).
She says you can have my instagram not my number so I tell her to take out her phone and I'll put mine in. But her phone is in her bag and it's a pretty big bag so I just pull my phone out instead and she starts telling me what it is but I interrupt and say "I'll just have you put it in." and she does.
As she's doing so, she says "Don't look at my nails" and I say "Too late, they're awful I don't even wanna see you again. I'm disgusted" obviously joking and she says two of them are cracked.
We continue talking just a little bit and she says "Thank you for coming up to me. I really like the confidence. A lot of guys don't do it, they just stare."
Me: "Oh so guys don't talk to you like that?"
Her: "Oh no they do" (Gotta say, she said it in a way that was confident and not arrogant and I liked it).
"Like I like that people shoot their shot because you'll never know," she continues. "They might find you attractive too."
She says this as she holds eye contact with me.
Me: "Do you find me attractive?" (I shouldn't have asked this but rather playfully teased it)
Her: "You're not bad-looking"
Me: "Just what every guy wants to hear." Then more seriously. "I appreciate it."
I then ask her age and she says "You never ask a woman her age" and I wasn't sure if she was joking or not. So I volunteered my age hoping she'd tell me hers but she never did. She played coy:
"You're not right. I could be younger, I could be older...I'll probably tell you my age eventually."
Me: *with a smirk* "Oh so we'll be seeing each other again then" (this is what I should have done with the attractive line from above)
Her: "Mayybe. But I seriously gotta go."
We then fist bump goodbye because her hands were dry and she didn't want my hands to be softer than hers (not sure what to make of that) and we parted ways.
She did accept my request and followed back. So I will send her a DM tomorrow and see what happens. I think I could have handled the "I'm not over my ex" better. But I also did turn a seemingly cold open into a conversation that ended up pretty flirty where she indirectly called me attractive.
Recently, I had a revelation that I wanted to get into the gym--not for reasons to attract women as I've honestly never looked at that as an inhibiting factor, but for my personal health benefits and long-term future. Thankfully, I have a friend who is super into the gym and was super excited when I told him I started doing at-home workouts and offered to take me to the gym with his guest pass. I had gone a few times and all I can say is that he wasn't lying when he said there were some beautiful women in there.
But the first couple times I was purely focused on the mission of working out plus I needed him to show me the ropes and he did. Plus, given I was new and a guest I definitely didn't want to seem like I was just there for tail.
Now with the backdrop out of the way, let's get into the events of today.
I hit my friend asking if he wanted to go today and he was down but that he couldn't stay so he'd just let me in.
He does and I head to do cardio. There's a couple women on the machines next to me I find attractive but when I get off they're still on so I make a mental note if I happen to run into them but I leave it. I go to sit down to just catch my breath after the workout when I see her. She's working out her abs (couldn't tell you the machine name though) and she looks really good to me. Nice ass, lean body, pretty face. I'm sitting on the chair doing my absolute best not to gawk at her like a fucking idiot.
Eventually she finishes on her machine and grabs her bag and water bottle. I know she's either going to another machine or to the locker room so I figure that's a good chance but she's walking very fast and heads into the locker room before I do it. BUT this is a blessing in disguise. Since she went to the locker room I make the judgement that she's probably done and she'll walk out after. So I decide to just wait it out, look like I'm catching my breath while glancing toward the locker to see if she comes out. In that downtime I decide to look up some articles on approaching in the gym as I've never done it before. I stumble upon an article from Chase about it. Though not all of those seemed to apply to me as I'm not a regular from there, I did take one thing from it. Which was to not act like everyone else, such as not to ask her to spot or corner her at a water fountain. And most importantly, not to keep the conversation about the gym. At this point, I decide that if she's leaving it'd be best to do it as I'm walking out, so it flows naturally. Ideally striking up conversation right as we're hitting the doors.
However, this girl gets out of the locker room and is walking toward the exits like she's on a mission. So fast that for a second I think maybe I shouldn't. But I'd already waited and I knew that I had to do it.
I walk as fast I could where it wouldn't be obvious that I was going after her (hopefully, anyway) but I couldn't catch her at the door. Unfortunately, she was already well on her way to the parking lot. Meaning, the approach wouldn't be as smooth but like I said I had committed.
I follow her on the sidewalk, get to her side, and glance at her as if I just noticed her and say:
"I saw you in there and I gotta say you were going fucking hard. You were killing it in there."
Her: "haha thanks" (Okay, not the best, but I'm trying not to eject early in set)
Me: Ya I just recently started going so it's awesome to see people doing so good. Makes me want to get there. Makes me more consistent."
Her: "Ya you gotta stay consistent"
Me: "I agree. So what are your goals with it?"
Her: *seems to open up a little more* "Oh I'm just tryna stay lean. I'm honestly pretty happy with where I'm at."
Me: "That's cool! How long you been doing it for?"
Her: "Five years."
Me: "Whoa that's crazy I'm only at like a month. I gotta long way to catch up to you."
At this point, we're walking in the parking structure. I know I can't just follow her to her car so I know that I want to stop and actually hold a conversation with her. I'm not totally convinced she's hooked to do that but I just stop walking and thankfully she stops too which is good.
I wish I remembered every detail of our conversation but eventually she just really starts getting talkative. She discusses how she recently fasted for the first time and felt awesome about it until she broke it because of her friend accidentally giving her something with calories in it. It's at some point during this where I introduced myself as we hadn't exchanged names yet. She likes my name.
At some point I'm discussing why I started getting into the gym and she says "Hold on let me check you out" and says "You look fine. You're acting like you way out of shape or something" and I explain to her that I didn't get into it because of the vanity aspect of the gym but for the health benefits long-term and she seems to respect it.
Eventually I ask what she does for work and she says she works with attorneys and I ask if she likes what she does and she says emphatically that she does not. I ask her what would she be doing if she wasn't doing that. She says that she wants something where she's helping people but also something she's as passionate about as she is at the gym but also something that affords her time and money to travel.
I say:
"I can tell you're very dedicated."
Her: "How can you tell that?"
Me: "The way you talk about it, the way you look, it's pretty obvious." I then go deeper. "That's why I don't have any worries that you're gonna be fine in whatever it is you ultimately settle on doing, you're gonna fucking kill it. If you approach with the way you approach the gym, you're gonna have nothing to worry about. I know it."
She then says "No" very suddenly and I'm very confused. But then she touches her airpods. I ask what happened and she says she got a call but declined it. At this point, I know I should probably go for the close.
I say: "So...if I were to ask you out for a coffee or a smoothie, what would your answer be?" (In hindsight, I think phrasing it like this made it a bit too big of a deal).
Her: "I would say not right now...I'm not in the headspace for it right now. I just got out of a relationship and I want to heal first."
Me: "I get that. But texting won't hurt. Let's exchange contact information and we can go from there."
However, she says that she still doesn't want to because she feels she wouldn't want someone going out with her knowing that there were feelings for someone else there.
[I think next time if I encounter a rejection instead of attempting to tackle it logically, I think I'll just frame it as a ridiculous reason to not pursue something with someone. Perhaps I'll say "Ohhh yea it would be so horrible hanging out with someone you like talking to during a breakup. How will you recover?" or something along that vein. What do you guys think?"]
I end up using a yes-ladder with questions I can't specifically remember. But they were questions about whether she enjoyed talking to me, if it would be fun to do again, etc. And she answered all three with yes. So I said "Let me keep in contact with you then."
She sort-of suggested we'd see each other at the gym again but I told her that this isn't a gym I'd be attending regularly I'm just here as a guest right now (which I had mentioned earlier so she knew that it wasn't just a tactic).
She says you can have my instagram not my number so I tell her to take out her phone and I'll put mine in. But her phone is in her bag and it's a pretty big bag so I just pull my phone out instead and she starts telling me what it is but I interrupt and say "I'll just have you put it in." and she does.
As she's doing so, she says "Don't look at my nails" and I say "Too late, they're awful I don't even wanna see you again. I'm disgusted" obviously joking and she says two of them are cracked.
We continue talking just a little bit and she says "Thank you for coming up to me. I really like the confidence. A lot of guys don't do it, they just stare."
Me: "Oh so guys don't talk to you like that?"
Her: "Oh no they do" (Gotta say, she said it in a way that was confident and not arrogant and I liked it).
"Like I like that people shoot their shot because you'll never know," she continues. "They might find you attractive too."
She says this as she holds eye contact with me.
Me: "Do you find me attractive?" (I shouldn't have asked this but rather playfully teased it)
Her: "You're not bad-looking"
Me: "Just what every guy wants to hear." Then more seriously. "I appreciate it."
I then ask her age and she says "You never ask a woman her age" and I wasn't sure if she was joking or not. So I volunteered my age hoping she'd tell me hers but she never did. She played coy:
"You're not right. I could be younger, I could be older...I'll probably tell you my age eventually."
Me: *with a smirk* "Oh so we'll be seeing each other again then" (this is what I should have done with the attractive line from above)
Her: "Mayybe. But I seriously gotta go."
We then fist bump goodbye because her hands were dry and she didn't want my hands to be softer than hers (not sure what to make of that) and we parted ways.
She did accept my request and followed back. So I will send her a DM tomorrow and see what happens. I think I could have handled the "I'm not over my ex" better. But I also did turn a seemingly cold open into a conversation that ended up pretty flirty where she indirectly called me attractive.
